Chapter 2: Realization

The rest of the work day passed by uneventfully; how could it have passed any other way with the two young Rangers each lost in their own thoughts and speaking to one another only about work-related topics?

Come closing time Gage waited patiently for Syd to finish tidying her desk. "Drive you home Shorty?" he asked quietly, hoping she'd accept and give him a chance to talk to her away from the office.

As Gage had driven her to work this morning, Syd didn't really have much choice other than to accept his offer. And by now she wasn't really angry with Gage anymore. He was her friend, he'd spoken his mind about her dating dilemma, and she knew that she should appreciate having a friend who could be so brutally honest with her. As for him kissing that woman at Trivette's engagement party...well, she really didn't want to deal with that can of worms right now.

They headed home in silence, the music on the radio pulsing out a steady beat as they made their way through Friday night Dallas traffic. When Gage pulled up to Syd's building he took a deep breath and spoke up.

"Syd? I'd really like to talk to you. Can I come up?"

She nodded, hating that this had suddenly become so awkward for them. Gage pulled the car into one of the Visitor parking spots and they each got out. Locking the doors behind them Gage followed Syd up the stairs to her apartment, unexpectedly nervous at the prospect of what he was about to do.

When they got inside, Syd motioned for Gage to make himself comfortable on the sofa while she put on the kettle for some tea. Noticing the blinking light on her answering machine Gage couldn't help himself and pushed the Play button.

"Hey baby, it's Franco. What happened last night? You left so quickly I never got a chance to show you my best moves. Give me a call any time if you want to hook up again. You know where I'll be. Ciao."

Syd froze in the doorway as she heard the message playing. This was the kind of creep that Gage thought she should be willing to lower her standards for? Some friend he was.

Gage, seeming to have forgotten his words to his partner earlier that day, turned to look at Syd as the message finished playing. "Syd?! What the hell is wrong with you? Why would you ever go out with someone that sounds like that? He sounds like…like…a pimped-out Rocky wannabe. Is he good looking? What's the attraction?"

"Well, I'm not getting any younger am I Gage?" Syd retorted bitterly, causing her partner to cringe as he heard his own words from the morning thrown back at him.

"But Syd - you are beautiful and intelligent. You could have anyone in the world that you wanted!"

"Gage – why would you even say a thing like that to me? I can't have anyone in the world that I want can I? If I could then maybe…" her voice trailed off. How could he be so cruel! Or so stupid? Had he not understood what she had said to him that day after his hearing loss surgery? Syd looked up at him as a thought dawned on her. "You didn't hear me that day after your surgery did you?"

Gage looked at her, puzzled. "Sure I did Syd. You were making fun of my holey socks. What does that have to do with this?"

Syd almost started laughing. "Oh my God. All this time I thought you had heard me. I've been so torn up inside over your reaction and you didn't even hear me."

"What did you say to me Syd?" Gage took a step closer to his partner who looked close to hysteria. He had never seen her like this. "I am so sorry if I've done something wrong. Syd, you've got to know I would never intentionally do anything that would hurt you."

Syd sat down on her sofa, hugging a pillow close, and trying to level out her breathing. "I know Gage. I know. You're a good partner."

The screeching of the kettle as it came to a boil overpowered whatever it was the Gage was about to say next. He got up and turned it off, and in the 45-seconds that he was gone Syd had fully regained her composure.

"Syd…you know that we are more than partners. I'm your friend. I want to help you through this, whatever it is."

"I think you better go home now Gage." Syd spoke quietly as she stood up. Her heart railed against her words, but she knew it was for the best. They had to get back in sync as partners before their next life or death situation.

Having Gage here with her, in her home drinking tea and sitting next to her on the sofa, filled Syd's head with dreams of an intimate partnership with him. Dreams which had shattered in front of her eyes when she had found Gage kissing Wendy. Dreams which she now realized were solely based on some foolish fantasy she had built up in her head. She had somehow, she now realized, interpreted Gage's lack of dating in recent months as his way of letting her know that he had heard her at the hospital and was patiently waiting for her to make the next move. Boy was she wrong. Wrong. Wrong. Wrong.

"Good night Gage. Thank you for the ride home." Syd walked over to her door and opened it. Her voice was steady but she wouldn't look directly at him. "I'll see you Monday."

Gage followed his partner over to her door. This whole situation felt wrong. He didn't want to leave – he wanted to stay with her, talk to her, comfort her. Make her realize that she didn't need to go out with guys like Franco. Tell her…tell her what? That he thought the world of her? He wasn't heading down that path again. She had hurt him deeply that day at the gym when she had so childishly rebuked his attempt to get her to kiss him again. Gage mused once more that he had read too much into that one kiss. How was Syd to know that the feel of her lips on his that day had awakened his heart to a whole new world?

A few times over the past year, when he'd had the courage, he had tried to hint to her just how he felt. He had put all of his feeling into that kiss he gave her at the Raptor's hideout when they were working undercover. He had told her truthfully how beautiful she looked the night she accompanied him to his high-school reunion and had tried to let her know how much her attending with him that evening meant to him. But she had never responded with anything more than the good humour of a close friend.

In recent months, their lives had fallen into a comfortable rhythm. They regularly attended work functions together, took weekly turns driving each other to work, they were even partnered to walk down the aisle together at Trivette's and Erica's upcoming wedding. When they went places, people just assumed that they would turn up together.

It had all been rather embarrassing for Gage that night of the engagement party when he'd had to ask Trivette to drive him home after Syd had taken off without him. Oh he knew he deserved it. His sister Julie would smack him on the side of the head if she knew he had gone to the party with one lady and ended up kissing another. On the surface it was just plain bad manners.

But now he saw it was more than that. His impulsive actions that night had triggered something that didn't bode well for the future of his relationship with Sydney. Their working partnership had been off kilter since that day, largely because their communication hadn't been in sync, and their personal friendship – it seemed to be completely off track now. He could see it in the way Syd held herself; she was shutting him out. If only she would talk to him, then maybe they could clear the air and get things back to the way they were.

"What did you say to me in the hospital Syd?" Gage asked softly as he approached the door that Syd held open. "What am I missing?

"Nothing Gage. Forget it." Syd bit down hard on her lower lip, her eyes staring off in the distance away from his intense gaze. "Good night."

"Good night." he replied and stepped out the door. What else could he do? Grab her by the shoulders and make her talk to him? Crush her to him and show her just how much he cared about her? Confess all those back-burner thoughts of his and risk having his heart stamped all over?

Gage sighed as the door shut firmly behind him. He suddenly felt very alone. When had his life gotten so complicated?