...okay....so I got bored again...so here's a second installation of my stupid half-way comedic story involving A&M, JAG, and large elephants...:) as usual, I have NOT preformed any spell checks...deal with it!:)


I do not own any of these characters...:)Disclaimer...:):):)


so here we go...


Mac and Harm checked into their hotel at 8:00PM....they would have been earlier, but apparently the Admiral had only booked one room, so there was an amusing conversation between the hotel clerk, who was a gum-chewing hormonal teenager (A/N: dern teenagers....especialy those hormonal ones....sigh), and Mac over the fact that no other rooms were available. Mac pulled out her intimidating-outraged-at such-injustice-court-room-voice in order to argue the point, but the clerk insolently informed her that they should be glad they had a room at all, seeing as it was Alumni week-end. Mac paused for the strangling urge to pass and Harm seized the opportunity.

"We'll take it, thank you." He smiled his flyboy smile and plunked the Admiral's plastic on the counter. Mac and the clerk glared at each other.


Ten minuets later they were in their room. Mac dumped her stuff on the bed and fell onto it. Harm amused himself with fiddling with the key, NOT looking at Mac's exposed legs...but it just....wouldn't......come.......OUT! Harm grunted and yanked and the keys flew across the room and hit the wall across from him. Mac spoke from the bed.

"Are you throwing things, Squid?" Harm was about to answer, but Mac got there first. "you know what?". Harm shook his head, which Mac unforchantly couldn't see, but she didn't wait anyway. "I sometimes think my life is made up of a series of random one hour events that are orchestrated by some unknown being." Harm retrieved the keys and flopped on the bed beside her, making her bounce. She smiled.

"Why do you think your life is a series of random one hour events orchestrated by some unknown being?" Mac removed her hand from her eyes and looked over at him.

"Well, I seem to have a lot of gaps in my memory. Times where I suddenly am somewhere and I can't remember the previous events." Harm thought a moment.

"You've been spending too much time with Bud, and not enough with me." The Author relaxed her grip on the desk and smiled benevolently down at her subjects.


Suddenly.....they were standing outside Kyle Field at midnight. Mac frowned.

"See? Things like that." Harm raised his eyebrows.

"Things like what?" The Author frowned and thunder rumbled.

"Oh, never mind." The Author smiled again, but the clouds still gathered. Harm and Mac hustled into the crowd and towards the GARGANTUAN staduim. Many people crowded in after them, talking and laughing good-naturedly. Umbrellas (A/N: or as me old father used to say....BUMBERSHOOT! It was usually acompaned by a comment about the British, which in deference to our multi-national crowd, I will not reproduce here...nothing really bad, I promise:)) dotted the crowd. They gradually made their way into the stadium and found a place to stand underneath the second deck. The field was brightly lit, making the stars invisible and the sky one long curtain of black. On the side of the field many people roamed. Two kept marching back and forth across the field, watching the stands. Mac nudged Harm.

"Who are those people and why are they pacing?" Harm thought hard.

"I don't know." Mac stuck out her tounge.

"Obviously." She nudged Harm. "ask someone!" Harm held up his hands horrified.

"You ask someone, I'm not the one who speaks languages! Aren't you certified in Texan somewhere?" Mac wrinkled her nose and was about to reply when there was a loud blare of trumpets from down below. The crowd quieted and Mac and Harm were obliged to step onto the wobbilest set of bleachers ever built to see what the fanfare was about. The trumpests (A/N: that is a typo, but...I dunno....after 3 years of orchestra rehersals with band, it seemed so fitting....:)...so I left it...:)) stopped and Mac noticed five figures racing out to the center of the field. She bumped Harm.

"Look at those guys." Harm obliged as two of the figures fell on the ground and held in the push-up position. The other three knelt behind them, facing the stands. The music began again and the two guys began doing rapid push-ups with the beat of the music. Harm sighed.

"They're barely 21! Stop staring!" Mac glared at him horrified and then rectified the situation by beating the crap out of his arm. Harm arrested her fist mid-flight looked into her eyes. She stared back, her breath suddenly quiet. Harm smiled and was about to speak when his cell phone gave a steely ring. Harm dropped her hand and dug in his pocket. He nodded to Mac and moved to a less noisy and crowded area of the stands.

"Rabb."

"Commander, how very nice to hear your voice. I trust you and the Colonal are enjoying my trip accomadations?" Harm frowned that wasn't very steely of the Admiral.

"Very nice sir, but there was a small issue of a single room, but it was cleared up." The Admiral laughed.

"I knew I had forgotten something, never mind Rabb, you can thank me later." Harm frowned. The Admiral sounded very, well, unwound. He wondered wheather he had been drinking, and thereby missed the last comment. The Author frowned and the Admiral tried again. "I'm sure you two can resolve some arguments when the lights go out." The admiral somehow found this hilariously funny and laughed loudly. Harm frowned. This really didn't sound like the Admiral. He scratched his head and the Author massaged her temples and sent a spark of intuition Harm's way. Suddenly his ears turned red.

"I'm sure I don't know what you are talking about." The Admiral smiled audibly (A/N: That's how drunk he was:))

"Well, son, let me just make sure you understand what I'm implying. I am implying that if you two don't come back with SOMETHING resolved between you two, I'm gonna be pissed. Don't forget what I said about the lights." With that the Admiral hung up. Harm shook his head and frowned again. It was one of his best abilities.

He returned to Mac's side where the five figures had finished doing push-ups and stuff and were now leading yells. Mac raised her eyebrows questioningly at him and he just shrugged. The music began again, this time the fight song. Mac and Harm stood there staring around them at the flushed, happy, faces of the cult memb....people..(A/N:...oops...look...another typo...:)) around them who were singing loudly and doing all the motions. Mac began to smile and Harm fought a grin. Suddenly the people by them flung their arms around their shoulders and interlocked their feet. Harm wobbled and almost fell as the entire stands began swaying back and forth. They looked at each other and Mac just shrugged and put her arm around Harm's shoulders. Harm did the same, not taking his eyes off Mac. Mac flushed and darted glances in his direction. The song ended and the stangers removed their arms from Mac and Harm, but Mac and Harm remained looking at each other, their faces very close. Suddenly.....the lights went out. There were hoots and the clicking of lighters and giggling. Mac smiled and Harm remebered the Admiral's words about lights going out and kissed her. The Author smiled (A/N: FINALLY! They do SOMETHING right:)) After the practice was over, Harm and Mac left, grinning like fools.

Back at the room tension ran high.

"Where do you want to sleep?" asked Mac as she waded towards the bed. Harm, who had been standing by a group of Frat boys, frowned.

"HUH?" He shouted. Mac cleared her throat and repeated her question louder. Harm shrugged. "WHEREVER." Mac .surveyed the tiny room. There wasn't even a couch. She sighed paused. The Author prompted her.

"Why don't you sleep on the bed with me. There's no room anywhere else." Especially with that three ton elephant in the corner, she thought. (A/N:sorry....I was/am a MSR shipper...:)) Harm raised his eyebrows.

"ARE YOU SURE?" He asked. "IF WE OPEN THAT WINDOW-" Mac waved him off.

"It'll be okay, it's a big bed." Harm shrugged again and began taking off his shoes. Mac gave the elephant one last suspicious glance and crawled under the covers fully clothed. "I wonder if that's part of the décor?" The elephant snorted and amused itself by blowing tension bubbles into the bathroom. (A/N: tree! Just for all you corps elephants out there....:)....not that I'm one...you might have to beat the crap out of me for using your word, but.....you don't know where I am...nyah nyah!:))


Mac woke, slowly feeling her surroundings, and soaking in the sunlight. She was very warm, that's for sure. She was facing inwards, curled up like a ball. And there was a hand on her waist. A very heavy hand. She inched her eyes open (A/N:What do people in Britain say? Centimetered?....:)you gotta think about these things) Harm was very far inside her personal space, but she didn't think she cared. She sighed and smiled and fell back to sleep. Harm opened his eyes and stared around the room.

"Hey!" he said groggily. "When did that elephant get here?"


FIN (A/N: like it was a work or art or something...:))...anyways...so...:)...I really should have done my HW, but well...I didn't....don't worry...there's still time! It's only 6:00!...:) Once again...The Author has tired herself...but don't worry....they still have to: lose the other 55% of their hearing, eat a monster, save a bird, and all that other stuff they haven't done yet....maybe they will, maybe they won't...it depends upon my schedual...so don't hold your breath...unless you're under water...then it'd be a good idea...:)..but wait! I think that's the thing that next to the thing that's beside the point!....the point is is that....well dern....I gotta go dig up some funnies fer y'all...


If you got a bucker, don't ever buck around, that mother bucking bucker will buck ya on the ground....-Robert Earl Keen, That Bucking Song

He's so confused he doesn't know weather to scratch his watch or wind his butt

-Trudie, Steel Magnolias

...well dern....that's all I got folks...lemme think of some Ag jokes...hmmm


So an Aggie, a Baylor Bear, and a UT Longhorn were running from the cops....for some infraction upon the law involving livestock...that's as far as I'm gonna go...:)...and they duck into this wherehouse filled with boxes. The cops come pounding up and bang on the door (which had been locked by the Bear) thinking quickly jumps into a box. The Longhorn and the Ag follow suit. The cops break down the door and race in. The pause for a moment and then one of the dogs scratches on the Bear's box. A cop knocks on it and the bear is quiet for a moment and then he goes: roar! (except more like a bear...:)) and the cops go, "oh! It's just a bear, nothing to worry about." and they knock on the next box. The Longhorn thinks hard and then says : moo. And the cops dimiss it as a mere longhorn. Next they knock on the Ag's box. There's a long silence and then the Ag goes....po-tay-to. ......:)....wasn't it wonderful?...:)