Chapter Two
Pairing: W/T
Rating: PG-13 for language
Angst/Drama Rating: This is about a 3 on the 1-10 scale.
Setting: The Grove – Tucson & Sunnydale
Disclaimer: I in no way, shape or form own the characters from BTVS, they're owned by Joss Whedon/Mutant Enemy. All original characters are in no way connected to them except by me in this forum. I own nothing but my soul, and even that is only a fleeting ownership… such is life.
Feedback: If you're up for, it's always appreciated.
Author's Notes: This story is already in progress somewhere else, and I have many chapters already done. I didn't find a good beta until later in the story, so I'm trying to clean up the earlier chapters to post here. Time allowing, I will post them frequently until I get up to the current chapters, and then try to keep a regular schedule.
As soon as the car stopped, Willow felt better. The comfort of The Grove had an immediate calming effect on her. She began to feel less raw, but her thoughts were still on Tara. Wondering what she was doing, how she was doing, if she thought of Willow as much as she thought of her.
Often she woke in the night, and could smell Tara as if she were in the room with her. Her perfume, and soap, sweet, and rich like honey; the smells suited the gentle young woman. Bringing back with them all the memories of the quiet, tender moments spent with Tara.
Willow shook herself to clear the memories away, and Dana watched sadly while following her into the main hall. "What do you need, Will?" she asked.
Without any hesitation Willow responded sullenly, "Tara."
Dana pulled her into a tight hug, and this time Willow allowed the embrace, shaking while she tried to keep the tears in check, as Dana attempted to comfort her. After a few minutes Willow broke the embrace with a heavy sigh.
"Can we do some exercises? I just need something else to focus on," Willow asked.
"Absolutely, would you like just you and I, or would you like me to get Lady Rowan, too?" Dana replied.
Willow thought for a minute, nodding she said, "Yes, then you both can really run me through my paces."
Dana left, and Willow headed outside towards the field. It had once been a baseball diamond but when the coven had taken it over they left it grow to its natural state. Since this was the desert, the grass had for the most part died off, and it was now just an open field filled with scrub brush and cactus.
Some wildflowers grew, but not much of anything else. She walked to the middle of the field, sat down in lotus position, closed her eyes while breathing deeply, and tried to focus.
The whole idea behind the exercises was to remain focused, not let anger cloud Willow's better judgment; to keep a balance between her emotions, and her power, and where she draws it from. As she sat waiting, Willow's mind wandered back over the past eighteen months.
The darkness would always be a part of Willow, but it is part she can control. In the last year she had been taught how to control her impulses – all the things that made giving into the quick power easy. Instead let the energy dissipate, allowing only the positive side of her magic to come through.
The six months she had spent in England with Giles had been the hardest of her life. Everything that happened with Warren could be explained away, in that when he tried to take more shots the gun had failed exploding in his hand. With Buffy wounded, and everything happening so quickly, the only people that really knew what had happened were Willow, Tara, Giles the covens in England, and now Tucson that she was working with. Buffy and Xander never really saw, or knew what had transpired that afternoon.
Willow had to stop practicing everything altogether. She had to relearn how to do everyday tasks without the magicks she had come to rely upon so heavily. That's when she realized just how bad she had gotten, she no longer did the simplest of tasks without 'helping' it along.
It truly made her feel like a junkie; when the withdrawals began – the sweats, the shakes, the nausea, the muscle pain and cramping. It was unlike anything she had ever experienced. Then there were the white streaks that had started when she came back from England that started at her pronounced widow's peak and framed her face on either side. It makes such a contrast to her flame red hair and deep green jewel like eyes, especially being barely twenty-two.
When she thought she had finally gotten through it all though, the magicks had remained, and Giles came to her. He told her that she was unique, that being able to stop using dark magicks but continue to grow stronger was unheard of – there simply was no known case of it, ever. The council had tried to measure her powers once before when she first arrived in England, and could not find a limit. Now, if she could be taught properly how to harness and use her powers, that would make her more valuable than the Hope Diamond. Then he talked about a coven in the United States that had agreed to help her learn.
All of this ran through Willow's mind as she sat on what would have been second base. She felt more than heard Dana and Rowan as they approached, but did not move continuing to focus. The older women slowly started to circle her slowly. The electricity in the air began to pick up making Willow's skin tingle, and the hairs on her arms stand up.
Rowan and Dana moved in opposite directions as they began to draw their energies. Willow was now focusing on the ball of white energy that she started to envision in her solar plexus, moving it to her heart, and letting it grow until it surrounded her entire body.
First, Rowan sent a charge of energy directly at Willow that bounced off with a hissing sound like water on a hot skillet. Dana then sent a rush of energy that undulated like the heat coming off the dry desert roads in July. Only Willow's hair fluttered, never once opening her eyes, she sent a pulse of energy that knocked both her mentors off of their feet. She continued to focus on the ball of energy at her breast letting the pain of her emotions flow out of her, as the warmth of the energy replaced it.
Simultaneously Rowan and Dana sent energy at Willow, cracking like lightening. There was a reason this field was empty, with all the energy used in this area nothing much would grow, and fires had broken out before during fledgling training sessions.
When Willow was particularly sad, as she was today, her focus was intense and she had slowly risen several inches off the ground. She rotated so she was facing both women. Energy shots passed back and forth between them for almost two hours. Then slowly the older witches began to rise against their will. Willow had gotten past their defenses, and lifted them several feet off the ground, then began to turn them upside down.
In a matter of seconds she had them both dangling by the ankle, hands prone at their sides no longer able to cast. The three witches stayed like this until Rowan called out, "Okay, okay, all the blood is in my head, it's hot and I'm old, you win."
Slowly they both turned upright, and were set down on their feet. Willow had started to lower herself as well, but she still sat with her eyes closed, tears streaming down her face, but no sound gave away her tears. Willow finally began to move again, and looked up to see both her friends looking down at her with their concern written all over their faces.
"Sister, what disturbs you today?" Rowan asked gently as she reached her hand down to Willow.
"Nothing My Lady, just old ghosts, as usual," Willow said with a pained smile.
Nodding her head, Rowan spoke softly, "I see, child, always remember to breathe. It may not take the pain away, but it will make it more tolerable." She pressed a dry wrinkled hand to Willows check. "You did very well today; you didn't have to open your eyes once. Your progress is amazing, dear."
Willow looked at her feet, and muttered, "For a killer," Willow turned on her heal, and walked away heading back to the main hall.
Rowan looked at Dana and sighed. "Does she know yet?"
Dana looked down at her hands. "No, My Lady, I wasn't sure how she would be if I told her Tara still wants to see her, if in fact she does, now that she's back stateside. She still seems so fragile, and Giles won't say anything to me. I don't know how long the Maclay girl has been hounding him, but from his voice quite some time. It's only been in the last few months that Willow has truly made unbelievable progress, that she seems to be getting strong again – and not just with her magicks, My lady."
Rowan sighed heavily, her brow furrowing with concern and care, "Sister, we cannot keep this from her. If the Maclay girl still wants to see Willow, still wants to…love her, and has forgiven her, we cannot stop them. It is my understanding she too is powerful. Born and raised to it, taught to respect what the goddess gives, and to never misuse it. If this is so, and their souls are truly mated, we have no right to cause either anymore suffering. Besides, we cannot coddle Willow forever, as much as we might like to keep her safe."
As they began walking back to the main hall, Dana began, "That was part of their problems; Tara had been raised by a mother that was also a sister of the goddess. She died when Tara was young, and her father and brother – I use those terms loosely – did awful things to her, My Lady. This is only what Rupert has told me, so while it's accurate I have a feeling he left a lot out." Dana paused, "What would you have me do, My Lady? I can drive there in a day to find her; Rupert will tell me where she is."
Rowan thought for a moment as they entered the main hall, going directly to her office, Rowan closed the door behind them. "Sit, Sister."
She walked around an elaborate oak desk that had the triquetra Goddess symbol and of all sorts of protections symbols carved into it. Rowan sat down heavily in her chair; she pushed at her bob of salt and pepper hair, trying to keep it out of her warm brown eyes.
Rowan's expression was contemplative as she spoke, "I may be wrong, but I think we should test the water with both girls first. Willow is an exceptional young woman and witch, but it pains me to see her like this for so long. Obviously, theirs was an extraordinary relationship, and now we have a chance to perhaps give them back to one another. With that kind of joy in her life, can you imagine what kind of peace it would bring her? How much more her power would grow? What would the pair of them be like if we can bring them back together? You saw Willow today, not a scratch on her or us. If we can make this happen for her, we owe her that much. I fear without it, she will not fulfill the path she is destined to walk, and never be what she was born to be, Dana."
Two days later in Sunnydale
The front door of 1630 Revello Drive slammed open, and Dawn bounced in yelling, "Anyone home?"
"In here, sweetie," Came the soft tones of Tara's voice. She turned, and smiled at Dawn, as she took a seat on one of the bar stools around the center island.
"What do you want for dinner Dawnie? We have options," Tara smiled.
With a bright smile, Dawn asked, "Ooo, options! What 'options' do we have?"
"Well, I was in the garden trimming some basil today, so we could have Pasta Pomodoro. There's also some chicken, and I could trim some rosemary, and we could have it with some roasted veggies – you have to eat the veggies though. Either sound good to you?" Tara smiled as she explained.
"What is Pasta Pomodoro? Would I like it?" Dawn asked.
"Well, it's pasta, obviously, with fresh basil, garlic, tomatoes, balsamic vinegar; we can even add the chicken to it if you want. C'mon, Dawnie, live dangerously," She said with a mischievous, lop-sided smile.
A smile that had only recently started making its reappearance, made Dawn so happy to see it. She hopped down off the stool, and hugged her friend, then said, "Sounds great, then again most anything you make is great. Do you want some help?"
Tara smiled at Dawn. "Sure sweetie, I picked up Roma tomatoes today, and they're in the colander in the sink. Quarter them then cut them into decent size chunks. I even got a nice loaf of French bread from the bakery. We can have it as is, or I can make garlic bread. Which do you want?"
With a snicker, Dawn said, "We had garlic bread the other night and Buffy said the vamps wouldn't come close enough to dust so maybe just plain will be good."
Tara and Dawn both snickered at the thought of vampires running away from Buffy more than usual. Tara started to hum while she cleaned, and chopped the basil, moving on to the fresh garlic. Dawn stopped to look over her shoulder at her friend for a moment, smiling that Tara' mood seemed to be getting better all of the time.
Dawn knew now that Tara could get through a whole day without crying, for the most part. She also knew that the nights were worst for Tara. She and Buffy had both heard her crying at night, and it broke their hearts. They just didn't understand why Willow wouldn't contact them, or at the very least her. Dawn sighed, and turned back to quartering tomatoes for dinner.
When Tara heard the sigh, she didn't bother to look up; she knew what it was about. Tara didn't need to read minds to feel the emotions, as they rolled off of Dawn in waves. Dawn always had her heart on her sleeve, and maybe that's what made Tara feel so protective of her. Tara turned, and put a pot on to boil for the pasta. Dawn grabbed the chicken breast, rinsed them off like Tara had shown her, and began cutting them into strips.
Once again the front door opened, and Buffy yelled, "Honey, I'm home!" Just as Tara dropped olive oil, and garlic into the sauté pan, and the aroma started to fill the house.
"Mmm, something smells good," Buffy said as she walked into the kitchen, and looked over Tara's shoulder which was hard for her to since Tara had a few inches on her, so she settled on looking around her shoulder.
"What's for dinner?" Buffy asked.
Looking over her shoulder at Buffy, Tara said brightly, "Dawn's pick for the evening; Pasta Pomodoro. And now that you're here – well, first go shower, you reek – then get comfortable, and you can be grill mistress, and grill us some other veggies," she giggled.
"What did you do today? Anything fun?" Buffy asked. "How was school, Dawnie?"
Tara shrugged, and started to speak, but before she could reply Dawn said, "School is school, but I got a B+ on that biology test." smiling broadly.
"After class, I went to The Magic Box for a few things, some sage, and whatnot – and to see Anya," Tara said quietly.
There was a pause as Buffy looked thoughtful. "Geez, I haven't been to the Magic Box in ages."
"Well, you know there are t-times when I still need something for a r-ritual or something. Then Anya and I talk for a bit, I think Willow and I…" her voice trailed off.
The look on Tara's face was one Buffy had seen so many times over the last eighteen months, and it pained her to see it. Giles wouldn't tell her more than Willow is safe, and sends everyone her love. Fat lot of good that did, Tara had pretty much become a recluse, except for school and the occasional trip to The Magic Box, and the more often patrolling she did with Buffy.
"Okay, give me a few to go shower," Buffy said, shooting a look at Dawn, indicating Tara with a subtle jerk of her head, that inquired about how she had really been.
Dawn just shrugged, and mouthed "She seems okay."
"What kind of veggies, do they need to be cleaned or cut?"Asked Buffy.
Dawn piped up, "Yeah Tara, which ones are they?" As she leaned into the fridge.
Buffy left the room, and headed up the stairs. When she got to her room, she shut the door, and leaned against it wrapping her arms around herself. "Why, Willow, why? Can't you feel her pain?" Buffy whispered. With that she grabbed clothes, and headed for the bathroom.
Dawn had gone out to light the gas grill, so it would be hot enough by the time Buffy came downstairs. The pot was boiling, and Tara drained half the water out, and replaced it with chicken stock then dropped the angel hair pasta in to cook.
Tara then went back to cutting zucchini, and summer squash, while having Dawn clean portabella mushroom caps, so by the time the slayer got downstairs she was handed a plate of veggies; all she had to do was put them on the grill and leave them.
As Tara sautéed the tomatoes, chicken, garlic, and basil together and waiting to add the balsamic last since that's the part she thought Dawn would like the least, she used it a bit more sparingly.
"Check the veggies, Buffy," she called.
The three women had developed a routine. After Willow left Tara fell apart, and tried to move out. Neither Dawn, nor Buffy would allow her to; they told her she was family, and family stays together. Sometimes the best families are often the one you make, and not necessarily the one you're born into. When the time came, and Tara could bare it, Buffy had helped Tara pack up the things Willow had left behind, to be put in the attic.
There were a few things Tara kept that Buffy didn't know about. Like Willow's favorite shirt to sleep in, and the sweater Tara had been wearing when Oz wolfed out, a small almost empty bottle of the perfume. Sometimes when she was alone, feeling particularly sad, and missing Willow so much she would go to the boxes in the attic.
Just opening them up, she could smell her Willow, breathing in deeply, and get a small bit of comfort. Sometimes she just cried into the boxes, great sobbing, body wrenching sounds that where as unbearable to hear, as they were to do.
So today was a good day for the most part, no big meltdowns. Just a few tears shed here and there, all missed by those around her who loved Tara. She turned the chicken, and then added the balsamic, tossing everything together.
"Dawnie, you wanna test the pasta for me?" Tara asked.
Dawn came bouncing in from lighting the grill. "Sure, but I'm sure it's perfect, it always is. You're like the momma hen here; you know all the secrets, for all the best things."
Tara looked at Dawn, reminding herself that she's not so young anymore. She's old enough to drive, and since school is almost over, she'll be a junior next year. Tara nudged her with her hip, as Dawn stood next to her, "You goof," Tara said affectionately.
Buffy came down and grabbed the plate of veggies to grill, and noticed the dining room table was already set, as she moved outside, thinking Tara must have gotten Dawn to do it.
"Go wash your hands!" Tara yelled, while they did that she opened a bottle of white wine, one of her favorites. Santa Margherita's Pinot Grigio. Not one of the most expensive but not the cheapest either, not that it mattered to her anyway.
Buffy came back with grilled veggies, and Dawn came into the kitchen. "Would it be easier if we just bring our plates?" Dawn asked, "Everything smells so good. How did you learn to cook like this?"
Tara thought for a minute, "Umm, I don't know really. Here, and there, I like to cook for the people I love; its how I spoil them, so maybe that's why." She shrugged and smiled, as she looked at the two sisters, causing a group hug that left all three a little teary.
"Food, must feed the slayer!" Tara said as she broke away from the hug, and grabbed Buffy's plate, putting some pasta on it, and asked, "More?"
Buffy smiled quirky an eyebrow. "Do you know me? Of course more! I haven't felt this spoiled, and taken care of since Mom…" Buffy nervously looked at Dawn, who took it all in stride.
"Yup, we're lucky girls, Buffy," Dawn replied.
Tara blushed, and handed Buffy her plate. "This really does smell amazing, Tara." Buffy headed to the table, followed by Dawn, and lastly Tara.
"Buffy, would you like a glass?" Tara asked holding the bottle of wine up for her to see.
"Just one, have to patrol later, and after the garlic thing, I don't want to hear drunk jokes too." Buffy snarked, Tara smiled and Dawn snickered.
"Can I have some?" Dawn asked, Tara looked at Buffy with a raised eyebrow.
"C'mon Buffy, I'm not a little kid anymore!" Dawn started to whine a bit.
Buffy looked at Tara, and said, "Okay, but only half a glass, the very smallest of half glasses."
"On one condition," Tara said, "You have to eat all your veggies first then you can have it. Seem fair, Buffy?"
"Very, you heard her, get to eatin', missy." Buffy agreed.
The three enjoyed their meal, talking casually about their day, having no idea everything was going to change, and what they thought they knew was only a small part of the truth. As Dawn was helping Buffy clear the table, Tara had already started doing the dishes, Buffy was drying, and Dawn putting away.
Buffy and Dawn were teasing each other when the doorbell rang, and Dawn skittered out of the kitchen yelling, "Coming!"
They could hear the door open, and Buffy had stopped to listen, "She's signing for something, and it's for you, Tara. Did you order something?"
Tara looked puzzled. "Not that I can think of, maybe it's a book."
Dawn came back into the kitchen with a FedEx envelope; she held it out saying, "Tara, it's for you."
"Go ahead and open it, sweetie, my hands are wet." Tara said over her shoulder.
Dawn ripped open the seal on the envelope, pulling out the enclosed letter that was printed on the letterhead from The Coven of the Grove, and as her eyes flashed over the letter not quite understanding exactly what she was reading, but saw Willow's name printed plainly.
"Dawnie, what is it?" Tara asked as she turned around, and saw the girl pale.
"I really think you should read this Tara, it's important, I think," Dawn whispered holding out the letter.
Tara wiped one hand off on her jeans and took the letter and started to read:
"Dear Miss Maclay,
Blessed Be and Merry Meet! I hope this finds you in good spirits. Let me being by introducing myself, I am Lady Rowan Kelly, Priestess of The Coven at The Grove in Tucson, Arizona. I am contacting you on behalf of one of my initiates, Sister Willow Rosenberg."
Tara gasped, and dropped the plate she held in her hand. "By the goddess… Willow." She looked up to see the sisters staring back at her. She looked back at the letter and read aloud:
"Miss Rosenberg is unaware of our attempt to contact you. She has been with us for almost year now and her initiation is drawing near; she is safe and well, but not whole. I am hoping that you might be amenable to perhaps making a trip here at our expense to see her. Again, she is unaware of our contact, and that was my decision, should you choose not to see her.
If you would contact me here at The Grove, I would be most pleased to make arrangements for your visit. You needn't stay on the grounds; we do have several lovely guesthouses where we could accommodate you, if you like.
I also imagine this is a great shock to you, Sister. The time has come where the only thing we can now give Willow, would to be for her to see you whatever its outcome. She has gone through so much, as we are told so have you, because of this separation. If we can give this gift to Willow, and to you, then the goddess will be pleased.
By all means, take some time to think this over; we will only alert Sister Willow should you decide to come. This will be the only request we send you, so if there is no reply, then we will understand.
In two weeks the majority of the members of the coven will be taking a sabbatical for six weeks, leaving maybe a dozen of us here. I don't know if that knowledge would make you anymore comfortable or not. If in two weeks time we have not received word from you, we will assume you do not wish to see her.
We hope to hear from you Sister.
Blessed Be,
Lady Rowan Kelly"
Tara looked up at Buffy and Dawn, her mouth opening, but no sound coming out before she promptly fainted. Buffy rushed to catch her before she hit the floor. Dawn picked up the letter while Buffy carried her to the couch, and got a glass of water.
Dawn asked quietly, "What do you think it means, Buffy?"
Buffy began to pace as she said, "It seems to me one of two things, either it's the first time she has been allowed to contact her, or the first time she is strong enough to see her – I'm not sure which. Damn, Giles! Why wouldn't he just tell us! She's in Arizona for god's sake – we could be there in less than a day! Look at what Tara has had to suffer through!"
At that moment Tara started to come around. "Stop yelling, please Buffy," Tara said a she moved to sit up, and Dawn helped her, and then sat down next to her wrapping both arms around one of hers.
"I'm okay, Dawnie, really," Tara said unconvincingly.
"You don't look okay," Dawn said before she put her head on Tara's shoulder. Buffy sat in front of Tara on the coffee table and put her hand on Tara's knees.
Buffy looked into her eyes, trying to read Tara. "What do you want to do, Tara? Whatever you want, that's what we'll do."
Tara's eyes moved back and forth, as she was trying to think. "I-I'm not sure, I-I d-don't know, I-I'm s-scared," her stutter hadn't been this bad in a long time now, and her eyes filled with tears. Buffy pulled her into a hug, and held her friend while she cried, as if it were the night Willow left.
TBC...