That Awkward Moment When Chapter 2
A/N: I aplogise for the delay. My idiot cousin decided it would be kosher to try and use my laptop to look at porn while he was visiting for the holidays, in correspondence with this my laptop had to be purged…of everything. Including word (which is what I use to write this).Thus I had to wait for quite a while (this happened over thanksgiving) to get a new security key to activate my new word application. Which was a massive pain in the ass.
In additon to this, if you want more excuses, blame skyrim, the old republic, and my video production class (No we aren't some stupid middle school video club, my shit's been on TV!). Also blame some of the lesser writers on fanfiction for their incredbily shitty stories and their spamming of the naru/hina updates board. Also blatant naru/saku-ism in the filler anime. Also blame the fact that kishi has kept us in filler anime for what? 3 months now. I'm starting to get pissed off.
Want to thank someone for the update? Thank sassiwrites4u for spamming the naru/hina update board with her fantastic stories. And the great fanfic author twicemarked, whom, as you may know, is the author of this time as a namikaze, a fine example of what good fanfiction looks like, and his/her (I am uncertain, I apologise if he/she already said it, I forget) review of my other fanfic, A Jinchuuriki's pain. Along with what seems a renewed interest in my works by the rest of the community here for some reason. If you know the reason for this renewed interest, please tell me, as I am baffled, and hate having my mind in a bottle. Also thank hinata-chan for this being her birthday. Also thank bob seger for giving an awesome performance in dallas on the 17th.
Enough of my 2 o' clock feeling ramblings, I bet you're all tired of it already. So, on with the chapter.
Konoha Chapel: Dec 27th: 1pm
The air outside the chapel was sharp, precise, and harsh that day. Much like the ramily of the bride that day. Luckily next to none of them knew of her, shall we say, predicament. Thus quelling the possible ruining tones of a shotgun wedding. At the current time, only two people stood outside the chapel doors. Both currently sporting a curious mop of blond hair whose ridiculous amount of spikes could put the king of games (Yugi mouto or whatever the guy from yu-gi-oh's name is) to shame.
"Well son, I must say, I always pictured this talk before your wedding, but I pictured your wedding would be well, a little bit down the line from right now. Kinda have nothing to say. I feel like I should though" Minato sighed.
"Its okay dad..you don't have to say anything" Naruto replied.
"No…no…I feel as your father I should have a conversation with you before your wedding. So, any questions you have for me son?" Minato asked.
"Well…now that you mention it dad…..We live in a world where there are samurai, and ninjas, and fuedal lords right?..But we also have cup ramne, and apartments with hinged doors, and wlkie talkies. Well.. I guess my question is…When the hell are we dad?" Naruto asked whole-heartedly.
"Really son…I don't even know myself. I just stopped giving a damn after a while. But honestly, If we're going to talk about when the hell something is..did you ever watch dragonball or dragonball z as a kid. I watched dragonball as a kid." Minato said.
"Yeah, what the hell is going on there? I mean, I think I actually saw a shot where a guy was running from a dinosaur in a flying car. Are they in some sort of suturistic jurrassic park society, or what?"
Meanwhile: Brides room
The bridal party plus the mothers of the bride and the groom as well as the co-flower girls (haruhi and hanabi each made a big thing out of being the flower girl to such extremes that they both physically fought for the position. The match ending in a tie after their mothers found out). The entirety of the room was gushing over hinata and her dress.
"Oh hinata-chan you look so pretty" The maid of honor, tenten squealed.
"Oh hinata-chan that dress looks marvelous on you!" Ino chimed in.
"Oh hinata-chan, naru-chan's jaw is just going to drop when he sees you in that dress!" Kushina barged.
"She doesn't look that great" Sakura added, annoyed.
Sakura's comment warranted the glares of the vast majortiy of the rest of the room. And the calm rage of one Namikaze Kushina, one Namikaze Haruhi, one Hyuuga Heiko (Hinata's mom), one Hyuuga Hanabi, and the devious smirk of bride herself to assist with the glare she wore.
Sakura wan't found after that until she was discovered in a gutter, her bridesmaides dress torn in several places, with bruises adorning her body, the next morning.
"Are you ready hinata-chan?" Kushina asked.
"Hai kushina-sama" Hinata responded.
"Please hinata-chan. We're family now, call me kaa-san" Kushina said.
"Ano….Okay…Kaa-san" Hinata responded.
"Well it looks like were ready to get started. Kushina, why don't you get the groom to get in his place at the altar" Heiko asked.
"Sure. He's just talking to Minato. Minato wanted to talk with him before the wedding anyway. I just hope he's not like jiraiya in that he doesn't try and tell naruto what to do for the wedding night. Poor minato was nigh traumatized. We didn't even get to consumate because of that until 3 nights later" Kushina sighed.
There was an awkward pause during which haruhi was left vominting in a nearby trashcan while hanabi held her hair at the mere notion of her parents having sex, and hinata sporting a blush slightly smaller than when she first saw naruto's penis at full attention.
Kushina sighed, "Well…enough reminiscing. Not to worry though hinata-chan. I'm sure they're having a very intelligent conversation about responsibility, and how to maintain a happy marriage" Kushina finished.
Minutes Later: With the boys
"-And don't even get me started on just how shitty GT was. And now they've got this Z kai bullshit, trying to tell us its new. Bullshit. Its just Z repackaged with different voice actors and HD cartoon characters yelling for seven episodes in a row" Minato finished.
"Oh hell no you are NOT talking about dragonball with our son before his wedding." Kushina bellowed from the half opened door to the church.
"Umm no. We weren't talking about that. We were talking about porn…right son?" Minato said, sweat pouring off of the back of his neck.
"Umm…yeah mom….porn. He was telling me about some porn….to..um…..you know what? No. I'm going inside to wait for hinata-chan. Have fun digging yourself out of this mess Tou-chan" Naruto finished.
"Kushi-chan, isn't our son funny? Always joking and uh-"Minato stuttered
"I don't care. Just know that our son is the only one getting any tonight. Come inside. They're about to start." Kushina cut off.
Inside Konoha Chapel
The music inside the chapel started, with it, came the procession of birdesmaides, minus sakura. From the front of the chapel doors came sasuke, dressed in the naruto demanded orange groomsmen tuxedo. Sasuke also wore the also naruto demanded best man badge, which was simply the label off of the top of an instant ramen cup, this was accompanied of course by a slightly larger than normal Uchiha grimace.
Grabbing the Uchiha's arm was tenten in the standard lavender dress of all of hinata's dress was, in the traditional hinata styling, loose fitting yet stylish. The waist contoured to the hips while the chest area left a notceable gap, so as to make the breasts appear smaller, yet not show so much of the breast as to be inappropriate.
Around two to three minutes later, the music changed. And with it, the atmosphere of the room, all stood erect from their respective chairs, and Hinata appeared out from the double doors of the chapel, her hand in her father's arm. Her dress was simple yet elegant. The waist hugged her curves, just like the bridesmaide dresses. Unlike the bridesmaide dresses, there was no gap where the cleavage was supposed to be. Hinata also wore, in her traditionally shy style, a veil so as to hide her lightly blushing face. Which for the first time was decorated in a ruby red lipstick, and small dashes of eyeliner. To any normal man she looked just like any other bride, to naruto, she was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen.
When hinata was halfway down the aisle, the double doors burst open once more. This time more violently. Behind it was a man with short brown hair, and two fang tattoos on either side of his face. The man's name was then Inuzuka Kiba. However, by the end of the day, it would be John Smith. And he would have his very own private room at the konoha hospital.
"Stop, stop the wedding! It's okay, I'm here" Kiba said, panting.
"KIBA SIT DOWN!" Heiko yelled from where she was sitting.
"With all due respect no thank you Hyuuga-sama. I'm putting a stop to this arranged marriage right now" Kiba responded.
"Wait, you think this is a-" Shikamaru said from his postion two people to the left of naruto.
"Shut up everyone. Please. Hinata…it's okay now.. you don't hev to be with him..Hinata I love you with all of my heart..Please…marry me"Kiba pleaded.
Hinata slowly turned around, her eyes shaded in a calm fury.
"Oh god, Kiba run now! I can't hold her down forever!" Shikamaru yelled.
"What? Shikamaru stop talking, I'm in the middle of a-Oh shit!" Kiba yelled as he turned tail and ran.
What happened next could only be described as a WTF moment. Hinata positioned her arms free and cupped them together.
"Kaa-Meee-HaaaAA-MEEE- HAAAA!" Hinata shouted as she unleasehed a massive cluster of energy from her palms, catching up with, and later disentegrating poor Kiba and the entrance to the chapel in its wake.
In the audience, Minato leaned next to his wife's ear and whispered, "And you said that that show was a bad influence"
"Shut up" Kushina reponded.
"Well..now that that's done with" Hinata said as she returned her hand to her father's arm and demanded to proceed on as if nothing had happened.
The remainder of the day proceeded without a hitch, Hinata and Naruto were married,their friends and family present, Kiba was admitted as a burn victim with the rest of the idiots in the world, and all became right with the world. Also, well..hehe Naruto and Hinata..hehe..giggidy.
A/N: A tad silly, yes. But I enjoy fluff, and crack. Not the drug crack, although I've never tried it.. Anyway..I don't like crack, but I LOVE crack. Naruhina crack that is.
Also, as a sidenote. I don't mean to offend, but I don't think NejiTen has any chance in hell of happening. I have yet to see a single NejiTen moment. I have although seen plenty of LeeTen moments. For example, the last episode of the original series, as well as the new filler episode, My hero, Lady Tsunade. And several other episodes. I don't want to believe leeten will happen, so if you can find any, please tell me about them so then I (or we) don't have to worry about bushy eyed, bun haired youth idiots running around konoha when the third series (You know it'll be coming) comes around.
Don't forget to review!