Chapter Two, Episode One, Part One
"Hi, Chris McClain here to drop the newest season of Total Drama," Chris said, with a smirk across his evil face. "As you all, somewhat, know, the other contestants from the original Total Drama series are gone, over and done with, which is why we have selected an entirely new cast, comprised of Twenty-Two brand spankin' new teens! And they will compete at Camp Wawanakwa, for a one million dollar grand prize, and to be the next winner of Total Drama!"
_Theme Song_
Chris walked onto the dock of shame, our campers will be arriving in the order that they were listed on the cast sheet, so give a round of applause to…Delia!" Chris cheered, as the ugly, troll looking girl stepped off of the boat.
"What the heck kind of introduction was that?" Delia asked rudely.
"One for a person who I barely know…?" Chris said, questioningly.
"That was a terrible introduction, look, I'm gonna go and get back on the boat, and you're going to introduce me…AGAIN!" Delia yelled.
Chris face palmed, "Just…go…stand over there!" Chris said, he was obviously frustrated already, and this was only the first of twenty-two teens, next to get off was James, one of the two oldest people on the season.
"James, how ya doin man?" Chris asked.
"Hey Chris, great to be here, I'm ready to rock and roll," James said, happily.
"Good to hear man, how ya plan to do here on TD?" Chris asked.
"I would like to win, but I'm sure that everyone else has their own valuable reasons to be here," James said kindly.
"Oh, please spare me, or I'll puke," Delia chuckled.
"Are you one of the other contestants, nice to meet ya, I'm James!" James said, extending his hand.
"I only shake hands with other celebrities or hot guys," Delia said, with a snobby look on her face, James scratched his head confusedly, Chris couldn't help but chuckle, as Serra got off the boat next.
"Serra, welcome to Camp Wawanakwa," Chris chuckled.
"Oh man, this place looks even worse in real life, I can see why the original cast hated it so much," Serra said.
"Yeah, that's why I'm hosting the show here, because it SUCKS!" Chris grinned, as Serra sighed.
"Yeah, ummm…, whatever," Serra said, with a quick glare at Chris, before she walked over to where James and Delia were standing, and dropped her luggage down, as the next boat pulled in, with Thomas getting out of it.
"Howdy Pardner's," Thomas said, doing a really good, fake southern accent, as he hooked his hands around his pants, and pulled them way up.
"Hey…Thomas," Chris said, rolling his eyes, at the kids, 'fairly awkward' get up.
"I'm gonna add some drama in this ere' competition, pardner'," Thomas said, as he grinned, and walked over to the others who had already arrived.
"Well, he's gonna get annoying fast…," Delia muttered, as Thomas joined the three mostly, save for James, unenthusiastic campers.
"This is…a boring cast so far," Chris sighed, "You guys better not be the final four," he admitted, as the fifth camper arrived, it was Michelle.
"Is this the right place?" She asked.
"I don't know, is this Camp Wawanakwa?" Chris asked.
"I thought I was going to Total Drama Island!" Michelle gasped, as her boat pulled off, "Hey wait! Boat driver, this is the wrong place!" She called out, as the boat sped off into the distance. Michelle sighed, as Serra and Delia rolled their eyes, Chris face palmed again.
"Michelle! I was only kidding, this is most definitely, the right place!" Chris said, with a slight chuckle in his voice.
"Oh…, then why did you say it was wrong?" She asked innocently.
"Cause I'm cool like that," Chris said, somehow spawning sunglasses, smiling, with a glimmer coming off of his teeth, as he pointed at her happily.
"So…, when do we start?" Michelle asked.
"When everyone else gets here!" Chris said, that's when Lauriell stepped off, everyone stared blankly at her, except for Serra, who rolled her eyes, and Delia, who was glaring at her.
"And I'll need special hot tub arrangements," Lauriell said to a man who followed her off, taking notes.
"Yes milady," the man said.
"Ummm…, Lauriell…," Chris said, getting interrupted by Lauriell waving her index finger in Chris's face, symbolizing that he needed to shut up.
"I'll also need special meal accomodations," Lauriell said.
"Lauriell…," Chris said.
"Right away milady," The man said.
"And…," Lauriell said, but was interrupted by Chris.
"LAURIELL!" Chris yelled.
"Ugh…, what is it…peasant?" Lauriell asked rudely.
"Ignoring that…, you're…slave…, I mean…butler…dude,…he can't stay here, with us," Chris stated.
"And why not? Johnson does everything for m…, I mean, my family," Lauriell stated.
"True, I live to serve the Davis family," Johnson stated.
"Well Johnson, I'm sorry to tell ya this, you can either stay here, as an unpaid intern for the duration of the show, or…swim back to shore," Chris said, chuckling at the second answer.
"Can I have time to think about it?" Johnson asked.
"Nope! Cheeeeef!" Chris called, and at that moment, Chef barged down the dock, grabbed Johnson, and tossed him halfway down the lake.
"Whatever…," Lauriell groaned, as she heard Johnson's scream fade into an almost inaudible splash, as Spike showed up, with his hood covering his face completely.
"Whose the freakshow?" Lauriell asked, as Spike stepped off the boat.
"Call me…Spike," Spike stated simply, in a really deep voice, as he brushed past Chris and Chef, and walked to where the other six campers were standing.
"That's all your going to say?" Delia asked.
"It's all I need to," Spike said, still speaking in the deep voice, and still not removing his hood, and now, Michael showed up on Jet-Ski.
"Howdy !" Michael shouted, as he backflipped off of the Jet-Ski, and onto the dock. The Jet-Ski kept running and landed on the beach.
"Michael…, nice entrance!" Chris said, as Chef held up a poorly written ten, on a sheet of printer paper.
"Thanks Chris, I was most excited about doing that over anything when I heard that you guys had picked me for the show," Michael said, with a smirk on his face.
"Show off…," Delia mumbled, as Michael joined the already arrived campers, as Matt showed up, with a Beatles song playing on a stereo.
"Retro!" Chris said, nodding his head, holding his hand up for a high five.
"Thanks man," Matt said, in a very wheezy, monotonous voice, about to return the high five, but once Chris heard Matt talk, he put his hand down and cringed.
"So…, Matt, ready to…go?" Chris asked, awkwardly.
"Don't we have to wait, for like…," Matt looked around at the other eight contestants, "…thirteen more people or something like that to show up?" Matt asked.
"Yeah…, good observation," Chris said, as Matt walked over to join the others, "freak…," Chris muttered, as another contestant stepped off from his boat, it was David, "David, the guy who can do EVERYTHING! How ya doin man?" Chris asked.
"I'm doing great Chris, this place looks AWESOME!" David said looking around, after dropping his stuff.
"I knew I picked it good," Chris said, everyone else rolled their eyes.
"Plenty of cool places to surf, and play my guitar, I'm sure I'll find my time here, very enjoyable," David said, as he picked up his stuff again, and walked over to the others, as another boat pulled up, this time, a girl with a surfboard stepped off, it was Kelsey.
"Hey Kelsey, how ya doin?" Chris asked.
"Great," Kelsey said, as she put her surfboard down, and reached out for a handshake from Chris.
"Well, if you're ready to start, your camper number eleven, we've still got eleven more left to go," Chris stated, "So move on down the line here."
"Riiight," Kelsey said, rolling her eyes, "Hey, what's up guys?" Kelsey asked, as she set her things down gently, she received dirty looks from Delia and Lauriell, but everyone else seemed interested to talk to her.
"Sup', I'm David," David said, giving the traditional surfer hand symbol.
"You surf too?" Kelsey asked.
"Yup, been surfin' since I was four," David smiled.
"Cool, we'll have to…go surfing together sometime," Kelsey said, blushing.
"Totally," David said as he chuckled a bit.
Chris nodded, as another boat pulled in, this time, Melvin got off.
"Hi Chris!" Melvin said in an extremely high-pitched, nerdy voice.
"Melvin, how ya doin?" Chris asked.
Melvin breathed in deeply before talking, "I'm great Chris, how are you? So the others are already here, should I go join them?" Melvin asked.
"Yes Melvin, go…now…, I think your voice is starting to give me epilepsy," Chris said, then chuckled at his own joke, as Melvin picked up all of his gear and trotted over to the others.
"Wait, Chris?" Melvin said.
"What now…Melvin?" Chris asked.
"Is there a place for me to plug in my game consoles, my laptop, and my cell phone?" Melvin asked.
"We don't get wi-fi or phone service out here, so… I doubt you'd find any use for your cell phone, OR your laptop," Chris said, obviously getting annoyed with the nerd.
"I don't need Wi-fi or phone service here on the island, my parents purchased some special thing, that allows me to connect to my families data plan from anywhere in the world," Melvin said, with a smile.
"Whatever, yeah, we have some outlets in the cabins and in the communal washrooms," Chris said, rolling his eyes, as the next camper rolled up.
"Yes!" Melvin cheered, as Jaynie stepped off of the boat.
"What's up kids?" Jaynie said, rather obnoxiously loud.
"Hey Jaynie, mind turning down the volume a bit?" Chris asked.
"Jaynie doesn't dooo quiet Chris, Jaynie says what she says so everybody can hear it," Jaynie said with a smirk.
"Greeeat, just what we need," Spike said, he rolled his eyes, but no one could see it, due to his hood being up.
"What did you just say, Jaynie knows you didn't just insult her buddy?" Jaynie asked, even louder than usual.
"I said nothing that you didn't already know…," Spike sighed, as he rolled his eyes again, which AGAIN went unseen.
"Jaynie knows you did!" Jaynie said, glaring at Spike, before she walked into the group, as the twin sisters, Kelly and Shellie showed up.
"Oh boy! Look at all of the cute boys Shellie!" Kelly gasped.
"Yeah, all of the boys that you're going to tell me that I'm to ugly to get with, right?" Shellie asked.
"Well, not to ugly, you just…won't have as good of a chance as me," Kelly said, smiling, Shellie rolled her eyes.
"I knew I should have filmed another audition tape behind your back…," Shellie said, after which, she rolled her eyes once more, and walked down the dock to where the others were.
"Charming…," Chris sighed, as a mass of winter clothes stepped off the next boat.
"It looks like…an Eskimo got to close to a nuclear waste plant or something," Michael chuckled.
"Or he's just REEEEALLY cold," James said, trying to be nice.
"But it's summer," Thomas said.
"But we ARE in Canada," Melvin added.
"But he LOOKS stupid," Lauriell also added.
"Edwin, how ya doin today buddy?" Chris asked.
Edwin just shrugged, and walked over to the other campers silently.
"Okay…, weirdo…," Chris said, as another camper got off their boat, it was Sark.
"Alright! Ladies prepare, Sark is here!" Sark said, pointing at himself, with a toothy grin on his face.
"Creep…," Delia scoffed.
"You're telling me…," Jaynie added.
"I think he looks kind of cute," Michelle said, unfortunately for poor Michelle, Sark heard this.
"Whaaat? YOU REALLY THINK I'M CUTE?" Sark asked happily, Michelle, now, even for her stupidity, looked slightly disturbed.
"Ummm…not really, anymore?" Michelle lied, to get Sark to back off a bit.
Sark nodded, and then walked, and stood in between Matt and Melvin, and looked over at Michelle with a huge smile on his face.
"Welcome to camp Mia," Chris said, as the next boat chugged off, leaving Mia on the dock.
Chef gulped as Mia began to talk, "Hi Chris, it's so cool to be here, I'm sooo excited, I just hope that I don't get eliminated early," Mia said, with a cute smile on her face.
"Yeah, trust me, neither do we," Chris said, laughing nervously.
"Whooooa!" Michael said, as he stared at Mia walking down the dock, as his vision slightly blurred, and his tongue hung out.
"Earth to Michael!" Melvin said.
"Michael?" Matt asked.
"MIIIICHAEL?" James screamed directly into Michael's ear, but there was still no response, even Spike tried waving his hand in Michael's face, but even then, Michael didn't budge.
"What's up guys?" Mia asked.
"Hey there, I'm Melvin," Melvin said.
"I'm Mia…, what's wrong with him?" Mia asked, pointing at the catatonic Michael, when Mia, pointed at him, as if by some magical force, Michael moved, and walked directly over to Mia.
"Hello there! I'm Michael, do you like my sexy sexy silver hair?" Michael asked very quickly, speaking like an auctioneer.
"Ummm…, what?" Mia asked, as another boat pulled up, this time, it was Pat, who started walking off of the boat, but instead, tripped, and instead of landing ON the deck, he fell straight through it, Chris and Chef snickered, while the others, except for Melvin and Edwin burst into laughter.
Edwin silently walked over and helped Pat out of the water.
"Thanks man!" Pat said, as he shook off.
"Dang dude, that was a great entrance," Chris said, as he finished up his laughter, as did the other campers.
"Best I've seen all day!" Chef said, finishing up his laughter.
"Hey!" Michael said.
"So, how many more people are there that need to get here?" Pat asked.
Chris looked over at the others, and started pointing at them all, as if he were counting them, "Well, including you, there are now, nineteen people here, so there is three more!" Chris said.
"Sweeet! I'm totally ready to start man!" Pat said, as he joined the others, and as he did, the next boat rolled in.
"Great, another nerdy girl," Delia said rolling her eyes, Lauriell and Spike both chuckled at this comment, as Kiki stepped off of the boat.
"Hello there everyone, the name given to me, was Kiki," Kiki said, as she bowed.
"I'm Chris," Chris said.
"I know who YOU are, and I just have to tell you, no funny business, or I WILL sue," Kiki said.
"No big deal, I promise there will be nooo funny business," Chris said, with an evil snicker.
"Whatever you say," Kiki said, rolling her eyes.
"I can already tell, that SHE is going to annoying, REALLY fast," Serra said, most people laughed at this, except for Delia, Lauriell, and Edwin.
Kiki snobbily walked over to join the others, as the twenty-first boat pulled in, it was Vance.
All of the girls stared blankly at him, Kelly's eyes widened, and Shellie fainted, even Delia, who for some reason had high standards stared at Vance.
"Hi Chris, how's it goin?" Vance asked.
"Vance! The famous child male model," Chris said, "About that contract you singed," Chris stated.
"Yeah, I gotcha, don't worry, you'll get a tons-load of views with me on here," Vance said, with a wink, as he joined the crowd of campers, to await the last ones arrival.
"Thanks man!" Chris said, as he looked back at the last boat that was quickly approaching the dock, when it got there, at first, no one stepped off, but then, it just pulled off.
"Ummm…, second thoughts maybe?" Lauriell guessed.
Chris and Chef looked into the hole that Pat made when he fell through the dock, as they heard water sloshing, and there was bubbles appearing, and then…a figure shot through, it was Kaylie.
" EVERYONE!" Kaylie shouted.
Chris and Chef jumped back, but Chef lost his balance and fell through the hole, the resulting splash got Chris wet, he shook his head, and brushed off his clothes.
"What would you have done if there was no hole in the dock?" Chris asked, as he dropped a fish back into the hole, as Michael and James helped Chef out of the water.
"Made my own I guess," Kaylie said with a shrug.
"Nice…," Chris said, as he face palmed, "Anyway, here we go, we start now everyone! So get to the end of the dock so I can take your picture!" Chris said.
The Twenty-Two campers all moved to the other end of the dock, as Chris snapped a photo.
"Alright, guys, report to the bonfire pit, so I can explain the rules of this game!" Chris said.
"Right away, your majesty!" Spike said, with a bow, everyone laughed at this, except for Delia and Edwin.
The Twenty-Two campers sat in the bonfire pit, as Chris walked up with two posters, the same color as the posters from the first game.
Chef stood up, and looked at the campers, and rolled his eyes, he walked over behind Chris.
"Alright, before I announce the teams, I need to share with you some other rules," Chris said.
"Continue, oh great one!" Matt said, getting some awkward looks, and some raised eyebrows from the other campers.
"As I was saying…," Chris continued, "This is where you will eliminate one camper, every three days, and in between those three days, you will have a challenge," Chris stated, "The team that loses this challenge will send one of their own down the dock of shame, to the boat of losers," Chris finished.
"Very nice, teams now?" Lauriell asked.
"Not just yet, I also need to explain the confessional booth," Chris said.
(confessional)
Chris: You can tell everyone what you're really thinking from our… outhouse confessional.
Delia: Ewww…, this is…gross!
Pat: It's kind of roomy in here, I wonder if Chris will let me sleep here!
Edwin: …, (he breaths in and breaths out.) Hey…
(end)
"I like the confessional!" Michael said.
"Good?" Chris said, "Now…, for teams!"
"FINALLY!" Delia groaned.
Chris shot her a glare, and rose an eyebrow, "Now, when I call your name, go stand over there," Chris said, as he gestured to the left, "Melvin, Lauriell, David, Kaylie, Sark, Michelle, Serra, Vance, Jaynie, Pat, and Delia!" Chris said, the eleven mentioned campers walked to where they were told to go, as Chris tossed them a green, sloppily rolled up cloth poster, as Melvin caught it, it unrolled, revealing a picture of a Turtle with only two legs, "You guys are…the Awkward Turtles!" Chris chuckled.
"AWWW YEEAH! Massive world inside joke for the win baby!" Melvin cheered.
"Next…, the other team is…," Chris started, "Spike, Kiki, Matt, Kelly, James, Shellie, Edwin, Mia, Michael, Kelsey, and Thomas!" Chris called out, as they walked over to their spot, he tossed them a poster too, the red one, that Edwin caught, it had a Chicken with an afro and sunglasses on it, that appeared to be doing the disco, "You guys are officially, the Funky Chickens!" Chris yelled out.
"Hmmm…," Edwin said.
"Now, go get situated in your cabins, and meet me in the mess hall in one hour!" Chris said.
All of the campers except for Edwin, saluted Chris, and walked off to their cabins.
Also, PLEASE, IF YOU READ: REEEEEVIIIIIIEW! I CANNOT stress this enough, review darnit! It's very motivating, and I love hearing others opinions, I don't wanna sound desperate, but I'd just like to hear your guys opinions.
This Episode will continue in the next chapter, so no worries loyal…fan, hopefully soon to be fan(s).
Till next time! Peace out! :D