Disclaimer: Not mine.

A/N: What a brilliant response! You guys are too cool, seriously it's crazy that you want to read my ramblings! :) I'll be posting fairly often but I'm trying to build up the story so that I can keep posting fairly regularly once school starts. So hope you enjoy this next little bit! And i'm glad y'all like the slow progression I was nervous about posting a first chapter without jared. :P But I promise things get more interesting from here on out.

Thanks for reading! Let me know what you think. :)

-S

P.S. Mj I think asked where I went on holiday -I went to Sri Lanka :) and what I study in school- I'm a physics major. Alright, i'm out, yo, enjoy! :)

Model Imprint

Chapter 2: Here Without You

Slow down.. this night's a perfect shade of
Dark blue
Have you ever been alone in a crowded room when I'm here with you

-Dark Blue, Jack's Mannequin

"Miss Connweller's piece is an ode to the spectrum of masculinity present in society, begining on one end with a more conventional, historically appropriate image juxtaposed against the cosmopolitan, quasi-androgeny that is vivd in both modern male fashion and street wear." Miss M. took a breath before smiling graciously into the audience. She extended a hand towards me and I stepped out next to her, finding a place just above the audiences' heads to focus on.

I would not look at the crowd. I didn't need to see who wasn't here.

"Miss Connweller is also one of my most promising art students and, as such, I am that much prouder to introduce her to you today. " She pushed me forward, stepping back as the audience clapped lightly.

"Thank you," I cleared my throat lightly. "I'd just like to point out that my models for this particular piece were two students from my high school, Jared Thail and Nina Russet without whose help I could never have assembled the ...piece." I ended, and I felt the heat rise slightly in my face but the crowd nodded approvingly and a few applauded.

"My father-" I blinked rapidly, those lights were terribly bright. " He always encouraged me in my endeavors and he inspired this painting which I like to think exemplfies not only the surface qualities of the modern male but the more profound qualities as well. That men can be nurturing, can be sensual, can be fashion forward-" I paused to wink at the crowd and they chuckled appreciatively, "and my mother for buying me my first easel." I smiled wide, ignoring the buzzing in my ears and the rapid beating in my chest, I could do this. I gave the crowd a light wave and stepped back.

Miss M. led me down to the floor and I thanked the guests for coming and even managed to have a few decent conversations. And then I saw them. Ms. Wayne and Wally were heading towards me.

There was a peculiar tug in my stomach that took me a moment to realize. It was just shy of elation.

"Kim! My goodness, I had no clue you were so talented!" She cried, sweeping me up into a firm hug before letting Wally tug himself into my arms. Lifting him up, I showed him the painting.

"Thanks Ms. Wayne." Wally leaned forward and then turned to me, looking every bit the little professor in his tweed button down cardigan and jeans.

"What do you think, Wally?" He leaned forward, eyes narrowed in suspicion.

"I think there's a girl in your painting." He whispered. I laughed at that, surprised at how natural it was, I felt so normal all of a sudden.

"You've got a good eye, kiddo." He smiled up at me and then struggled to get down. I let him go, and turned to his mother.

"Where are your parents tonight, Kim? I'd love to meet them." Ms. Wayne smiled up at me, her face so incredibly encouraging. I'm fairly certain my heart stopped beating for a second but I managed to cover it up with a cough, and cleared my throat quickly for good measure.

"They couldn't be here." It came out fairly convincingly, I thought, but she narrowed her gaze at me. I hastened to elaborate.

"They work up in Seattle and the commute is difficult for them." It was almost the truth and I basked in it for a second, the version of my life that I was explaining. If only it were true.

I let myself believe, just for a moment. And I felt my smile widen as she smiled, her eyes twisted in slight sympathy.

"Well, they've got a very talented daughter. I'm sure they wish they could be here." They weren't the only ones, I added in my head as I nodded graciously, my fingers clenching into a fist behind me.

"Well, Kim, I went to high school with Anna and she's popping by for dinner next week, would you like to join us?" She asked, and I widened my eyes in surprise. For some reason it hadn't occured to me that Miss M. had a life outside of school. Feeling slightly sheepish, I nodded lightly. I wasn't certain if I could handle an evening around family just yet.

I would want too much.

And that wasn't good for me.

"I'd like that." I said finally, and she nodded. We exhanged contact information and I gave Wally a quick kiss goodbye before turning to the next set of people.

The evening passed fairly quickly and despite my attempts to ignore him, I kept watch out of my peripherals to see if Jared would ever show. Part of me, some small, insignificant part of me, hoped that he would. The he would show up, that wonderfully good-humored smile on his face, his hair slightly tousled and nudge my shoulder the way he had that afternoon, so long ago. He'd take my hand and cock his head lightly.

I had no idea I was so attractive. He'd say, his eyes twinkling under the light and then Mom would step out from behind him, her eyes slightly teary.

Kim, baby, this is wonderful, just marvelous. And Dad would be behind her as always, one hand against the small of her back. He'd bump elbows with me and make some ridiculous pun.

I couldn't be prouder, Kimmy. He'd say, sober only for a instant and then he'd be back to his antics. And then I'd introduce them to Jared.

This is Jared, Jared, my parents Lucy and John Connweller. They'd shake hands and Dad would take us out to dinner, pulling Jared ahead to explain the mechanics of everything. And mom and I would stroll, lagging behind, our arms intertwined and she'd lean in, her head on my shoulder and then whisper lightly.

He looks fantastic, Kim, I've got just the shoes for you to wear on your first date. I'd shake my head, amused as always by her ability to steer any conversation back to shoes.

And then-

"Miss Connweller." A voice interrupted my thoughts and I looked at the slightly balding man before me, feeling doused at the sudden shock of reality. The warmth, the immeasurable warmth from my pretend world disappearing faster than I could comprehend and no matter how hard I tried to tug it back, it sunk back into the blue murky depths of my imagination.

Far away from me.

I turned to the man in front of me, his smile kind, and nodded as he talked about how impressed he was, smiling graciously but I couldn't have told you what he said or what I said in return.

I was submerged in the desperate sense of longing and loss that follows the end of a perfect dream, where you close your eyes and hope and wish and imagine your hardest, all the while knowing that once it was gone, there was no getting it back.

The winter weather had grown dreary bringing with it an all-consuming chill that drove through to the very bones of La Push. Stepping away from the edges of the little gallery, I walked quickly. It seemed like I was racing the sun home these days, the golden sphere usually sinking victoriously below the horizon, leaving me to complete my journey in the emerging dusk.

I thought wistfully of my car, tucked away in my garage. But I had been on a high from my meeting with Jared's mother today and decided that car's were for the weak and I was reinstating my decision to reinvigorate myself...or something.

I looked upwards and the moon had already risen, shinning pale and silent below the sun, settled into her role as second best. I saluted her, lightly.

You're not alone, sister.

Jared's absence weighed heavily on my mind. I knew that I should not have expected him, but for whatever reason, that note, that little note, I thought everything would be different. I thought maybe he would realize that I was...good after all that.

That I wasn't just a distraction.

I chuckled acerbically to myself. I was an idiot. A petulant, idiot, obsessed with a boy, a boy I had known for less than a week when I should have been worry about where my parents were.

I hurried my pace as the last of the daylight disappeared and the night came on with a vengeance. The roads were desolate at this time, the working crowd still busily occupied in their jobs and the kids at school already safely at home.

It felt like I was the only one in La Push.

I paused as I spotted a twisting path in the woods on my left. I'd taken it before and it cut had cut down my travel time by almost half, but there was very little light left, the dusk had already begun to turn blue. I debated for a second before turning down the path; it was almost as if Robert Frost himself were prodding me towards it and who was I to turn him down.

I pulled out a flashlight and and shifted my messenger bag higher on my shoulder and continued down resolutely.

A serene breeze rifled through my hair and I turned my head heaven-ward one final time, tracing the luminous slope of the moon, resting on the star studded blanket that existed behind her. But there was no comfort there, she was alone, just as I was.

I turned forward and headed under the first line of trees, and the light was extinguished, absorbed by the heavy branches of the Olympic pines above me.

And predictably, my flashlight gave out and I was left in total darkness.

I vehemently shook the it; the mechanics were kinetic allowing me to recharge with motion. The light flickered for a second and then went out. But I just shook harder maintaining my even paced stride along what I was fairly sure was the right direction.

Finally almost two minutes later, the light swung back into action and I could see again. I let out the breath I didn't even know I was holding. The utter darkness was too thick for my liking, it was wonderful to see my feet again.

And then I heard it.

A great whoosh of breath just to the left of me but when I turned to investigate there was nothing there.

And then it began: the padding of paws on the ground, reverberating like a drum, it's beat primal and vigorous.

I peered into the woods, but there was nothing visible just the beating rhythm flowing constant and vibrant in the night. It was probably deer, even though it sounded like something much larger and much heavier. There was nothing dangerous in these woods. I knew that.

I just had to remember it. If only it were quiet, I couldn't think with the thrumming punctuating my thoughts.

But then, as if answering my silent plea, there was silence.

It was almost more eerie, the stillness that surrounded me. It was watchful and I felt the hairs prickle on my neck.

I hurried my feet but I must have fallen off the path because the end of the trail was nowhere in sight.

What seemed like hours later, I stumbled into a clearing. It was small and open and at first glance, unremarkable.

But upon a second look I noticed the glorious array of flowers stemming from the center. It was enchanting and I suddenly wished for the sketchpad I'd left at home. The moon came out then from behind a cloud and the cool light illuminated the circle extravagantly and suddenly it felt like I could see for miles.

I was alive in this little circular nook. I switched off my flashlight, its small beam rendered unnecessary by the light of the moon.

The grasses had over grown and were worn and slightly brown, ready to submit to the impending winter. But the flowers, they were so strong, so vigilant, standing tall and daring against the winds, their regal, decorated heads bowing to nothing and no one.

I ached to be nearer, the beauty of the scene casting a net around me, tugging me forward into the waving foliage.

I had raised my foot, planting it lightly in the grass before me, when rustling echoed out.

And then, to my horror and amazement, a dark shape about the size of a-a minivan moved gracefully out of the trees diametrically across from me. The shadows fell away and I saw the inky brown coat of a...wolf...or something that looked exceedingly like a wolf but was far, far too large.

I stopped breathing. Every part of me was terrified but I stilled, I couldn't have moved if I had wanted to. My mind was whirring with all the discovery channel specials that said that movement attracted attention and provoked the wild.

I let out a breath achingly slowly, my lungs starting to burn before sucking in. I never increased my pace though, matching the wind that blew around me as I exhaled and inhaled in sync.

And then the most incredible thing happen, this great, beautiful creature, which I was fairly certain, would eat me if I moved, howled. It reared back on its hind legs and thrust its great neck to the sky, its magnificent snout tracing the stars and the most desolate and musical sound issued forth. I leaned in, drawn forward by a mystical pull that I couldn't understand but it was gripping and I couldn't think-couldn't feel, I could just absorb.

And then it stopped.

And I shuddered slightly at the quiet, my ears ringing at the decibel level before.

Of course then my nose began to itch and my hand was half way to my face before I realized my mistake.

I had moved, and sure enough, the great creature turned its head immediately, the once calm and serene eyes focused and narrowed.

And then it began to snarl.