Buckley: Sometimes

Susie.

A small face, blonde hair, laughter. Someone pressing a kiss to my forehead.

It's not Mum, and it's not Lindsey.

"It's Susie."

That's what Lindsey said when I asked her.

Susie.

She was my big sister. I don't really remember her, but I know her. Sometimes I get angry with her for leaving, but someday she'll come back.

I once said that to Lindsey, and she choked back a sob and started to yell at me. Dad looked almost scared and told her to be quiet, and Mum got angry with her, saying that she shouldn't treat me like that.

Dead.

I heard a person say that once. He was big, and he scared me. Lindsey didn't like him, either.

What was dead? I didn't know. Dad said to me that Susie was gone and wouldn't come back. But people always came back.

Sometimes I think about the little silver shoe. That was Susie's playing piece. I had it for a while, to try and remember her, but then it went missing. I don't know where it went, but I think I know…

I tried to tell Lindsey, but she just looked very frightened and almost angry, and I decided not to say.

Susie.

Sometimes I say her name to myself, over and over, just to make sure I don't forget, even if I never really remembered in the first place. Or do I? I don't know, and I don't want to know.

Maybe Mum could tell me, but she's gone, too. Did she leave because of me, or did she leave because of Susie?

Susie was good, though, Lindsey once told me. So it must have been me.

I want to hate Mum and I want to hate Susie, but I can't. I want them to be here with me.

Sometimes, though, when I'm good, after Dad's tucked me into bed, I can almost pretend that Grandma Lynn is Mum. Sometimes she lets me pretend, too.

Sometimes, when I'm good, Lindsey will come in and sit by me. Sometimes she'll even talk.

Sometimes, when I'm good, I can hear Susie come into the room. She sits by my bed and she gives me a kiss, and she's gone in the morning. But she comes.

Sometimes.

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A/N: I said I'd almost definitely continue, and I'm true to my word. Half a year late, perhaps, but still…

I'm sorry if there are any heinous grammatical errors, etc, or if this seems unrealistic- this is rather a first draft, as neither of my betas appears to know 'The Lovely Bones'. sniff

Anyhoo, please review if you managed to get this far. 