"Maman Maman Maman Maman MAMAN!" wailed Erik as he stomped and smashed around the kitchen, knocking over the couldren of moonshine that Tasha had so thoughtfully put together, "You forgot to get the fucking soy milk!! You hate me! You really hate me!!"

Before Tasha could storm in and smack Erik right across his ugly and malformed Skeletor-esque face, he hid her box of Swedish Chocolates down his britches. He was full of secret magic like this all the time. It was crazy!!

Tasha stormed into the kitchen and backhanded Erik across his way ugly face with a waffle iron. Back in those days there weren't really any laws about being mean to naughty children so she was able to be a huge D-Bag to him because she never really wanted him in the first place (please refer to chapter one where a botched A-word is mentioned). Ever since that frightful day on the island life had been an upward battle for Tasha to gain respect. She was constantly strung out from dealing with a frighteningly brilliant son, though rather misguided and horrendously ugly. While all the women of the village were entering their children in cute baby contests she was feverishly working on plots to make sure no one even knew her son existed.

"Do you know how long it took to make this moonshine!?" Tasha whinnied. "This was for the Grand Masque Ball tonight. I was to be the light of the tailgating. I was to get a piece of ass. And now look at this sopping mess, why I oughta…………….."

"Requiem aeternam dona eis, Domine.
Et lux perpetua luceat eis.
Te decet hymnus, Deus, in Sion,
Et tibi reddetur votum in Jerusalem
Exaudi orationem meam
Ad te omnis caro veniet" belted out Erik. Usually at these moments he used his famed genious to terrify the shit out of his feeble minded cougar mother who actually intended to hide behind the bushes at the Masque Ball and pick up teenagers in a frenzied attempt to validify her existence.

"Oh- oh! You devil child!! I will sew that mask to your flesh if I knew it would do any good you frightful demon! If I could I would jar you in a bottle and sell you at a fair…… a fair……" her mind began to wander. There was a traveling lawn fete coming to the local Catholic Church down the street. Usually that meant oddities a plenty and rather unsafe rides.

Perhaps!

Oh yes!!

She forgot about those 5 years of torture with her beastly son and the botched abortions and the sleepless nights of boozing and whoring to forget it all.

She would sell Erik to the Lawn Fete!!