"I know what we should do!" exclaimed Vala suddenly. She was sprawled in a chair in Sam's quarters, her legs dangling over one side. Sam was sitting at the desk across from her, busily typing on her laptop.
She sighed and reached up to pinch the bridge of her nose. "What?"
"Before we left, I saw these things on television," Vala said.
"What things?" Sam asked, her tone indicating that she was far from certain she really wanted an answer.
"They were paints that worked on fabric! We could synthesize a whole bunch of them and decorate everyone's uniforms while they're asleep!" Vala grinned.
"No, we couldn't," Sam said without turning around.
"Why not?"
"It would be a waste of power to synthesize those, for one thing," Sam said.
"You have a cello," Vala pointed out.
"That's different," said Sam.
"How?"
"It's--" Sam hesitated, biting her lip.
"Ah-ha!" Vala jabbed a finger at her accusingly.
"We still can't," Sam sighed.
"Give me one good reason!" challenged Vala.
"Because it's against regulations to--"
Vala cut her off with an exaggerated sigh. "Regulations!"
"Well, it is, Vala, you can't just--"
"Fine," Vala interrupted again.
"Fine?" Sam turned to look at her, raising an eyebrow.
"All right? Okay? I'll drop the subject?" Vala said with a huff.
"You're giving up too easily," Sam told her.
"Well, I can see I'm not going to get anywhere with you. You just don't know how to have any fun," Vala decided.
"I do too!"
"Oh, really?"
"Yes! But my idea of fun doesn't include stealing people's pants," Sam replied.
"Well, what's your idea of fun then?" Vala asked.
"Playing the cello!" Sam declared.
"Oh," Vala's brow puckered thoughtfully. "Well…will you teach me to play it, then?"
"What?" Sam blinked.
"I'm bored!" exclaimed Vala. "I can't pester Daniel all the time, and if I can't interest you in my idea of fun, I might as well try yours."
"Vala, it takes a huge amount of work and dedication to learn to play a musical instrument," Sam said.
"Oh," Vala sighed.
Sam smiled and shook her head in disbelief at her own words. "Why don't I just…help you steal someone's pants."
-------
Cam was the obvious choice. In fact, he was too obvious to suit either Sam or Vala. They worked very hard for several days to concoct a way of stealing Daniel's pants, but he was in the habit of spending days at a time without sleep, and one never knew when he might decide to take a shower. Cam, on the other hand, adhered to a strict routine, which made it far easier to carry out their objective.
In the end, they took the easy route and slipped into the showers while Cam was busy singing to himself. Snatching his pants from the sink where he'd left them, they raced back to Vala's quarters, where they had left the fabric paints. Sam decided on a chain of flowers along the cuffs and up the legs, while Vala quite happily painted a large, yellow smiley-face on the backside. After a few minutes, both woman stood back to admire their work with satisfied grins.
"Oh, I adore your flowers, Sam!" Vala exclaimed.
"You think there's enough?" Sam asked.
"It's perfect!" nodded Vala.
"Um," said a familiar voice behind them. Both women whirled around as Daniel stepped into the room. They arranged themselves hurriedly in front of the bed, but he had already caught sight of what they were hiding. "Are those…?"
"What, darling?" Vala asked cheerily.
"Mitchell's pants?!"
"Well…"
"Hey!" Cam boomed, suddenly appearing behind Daniel. He shouldered past the archaeologist and stood glaring at Vala in nothing but a white towel.
Her eyes went wide. "It wasn't me! I swear! Well. It wasn't just me…"
Cam stared at her for a second longer, then turned toward Daniel, who was struggling valiantly not to laugh.
"Aw, come on, Jackson. Not you too!" he sighed.
Daniel held up his hands. "I'm just a bystander."
Cam turned again, eyeing the culprits in disbelief. "Sam…?"
"Hey," she shrugged, giving Vala a conspiratorial grin. "You never know what might happen when you let your guard down."