Hello all. Welcome to another chapter of "Adventures at WNYX" (echo)! Well, what are we waiting for? Let's do this story already!
Mr. James: I'll tell you what we're waiting for. For you to do the disclaimer.
Mr. James, with all due respect, I think that they already know that I don't own any copyrighted characters.
Mr. James: But what if, say, someone had decided to just start reading from the second chapter or whatever? Don't you think you ought to let them know?
I'm starting the story now...
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Adventures at WNYX
"Pita Pita Pita Pu Pu! Pita Pita Pita Pu Pu!" went the radio sitting on Dave's desk. Matthew, Joe, and Beth were sitting on the table in front of the desk jamming out.
"Oh man, this song is the best 'Creme Sludge' has ever come out!" Joe exclaimed. (A/N: By the way, I love ya'll if ya'll got that reference to another one of my stories!)
"Yeah. But not as great as 'Nanananachaku'!" Beth said.
"Shh! They're doing my favorite part!" Matthew said.
"Pita Pata Pita Pu Pu! Pita Pata Pita Po Po!" all three of them sang as this did this rather weird dance. Dave came in at the moment.
"Oh no. Get that off the radio!" Dave ordered.
"But it's 'Creme Sludge', the group known for releasing the best hits ever!" Beth explained.
"They're known for releasing the most annoying hits ever." Dave said and moved towards the radio to switch it off. He stood there for a moment and listened to the song. The song that was making him tap his toe to the beat. The song that was making his move his shoulders back and forth. Dave sat on the table with the others. "It may be annoying but it's soooo catchy!" he said, giving in to the music.
"Pita Pita Pita Pu Pu! Pita Pita Pita Pu Pu!" sang the four as they did that annoying dance.
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The theme song played it showed each cast members and the name of the actor/actress that plays them. Each person ate a different food: Dave, some pizza, Joe, a burger, Mr. James, some chicken, Catherine, some noodles, Beth, a salad, Bill, a taco, Matthew, a big hot dog, and Max, some ice cream because he already ate his nachos.
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Episode 2: The Many Faces of Jimmy James or Mr. James Sobs Like a Baby In This One!
"Come to think of it, I've never seen Mr. James cry except that one time when he was about to sale the station. Does nearly crying counts?" Dave said as he looked at the title.
"It's says that he sobs like a baby in this one." Matthew said. A crick was heard offscreen.
"Stop it with the fourth wall!" Bill yelled. The staff sat at the meeting table. Mr. James came in, cheerful as ever.
"Mornin', gang!" he said as he sat down at the table.
"Mr. James, are you sad?" Beth asked.
"Nope. I'm happy as when I got the Playboy channel!" Mr. James laughed then stopped, feeling a little suspicious. "Why?"
"Look at the title." Beth said and Mr. James did so. He laughed.
"Me? Cry? Well, actually the last I cried was when 'Free Willy' came out but other then that, I never cry." Mr. James said.
"Well, what about your 'other faces'?" Joe asked.
"What about my other faces?!" Mr. James snapped, causing Joe to nearly wet his pants. "Huh?! Are you calling me a monster?!"
"Well...no...I..." Joe started.
"Just stop talking." Lisa said.
"YOU stop talking!" Mr. James snapped. "You are ALWAYS talking!"
"Did something happen?" Lisa said, used to the outbursts since she hangs out with Dave.
"Hey!" Dave said.
"Did what happen?" Mr. James asked, now in his normal state.
"Um...did something happen to cause you to flip out on us just now?" Lisa asked.
"No. But can I tell you all something?" Mr. James asked.
"Um...yeah." the staff said tentatively.
"I love each and every one of you." Mr. James said, a sincere look on his face. "If it hadn't been for you guys, I don't know how I would've made it. I think we need to have a group hug, here. Come on." Everyone reluctantly get up and went into a group hug. "Aww! There we are!"
"Someone just farted and I felt it." Bill said in the middle of the hug.
Dave was in the kitchen, getting himself a snack when he heard someone laugh. He looked up to see Mr. James walk in.
"Oh, Hello, Mr. Ja-" Dave started but was cut off when a big laugh came out of Mr. James' mouth.
"Hahahahahahaha (gasp) HAHAHAHAHAHA!" Mr. James pointed at Dave and continued to laugh.
"What? What is it?" Dave asked, looking himself over.
"HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Mr. James laughed harder then ever. Dave, at the moment had a "What the heck" look on his face. He shook his head and turned back to the fridge.
"Dave?" Mr. James asked, all of a sudden not laughing anymore.
"Yeah?" Dave asked, a little confused.
"Get me a yogurt." Mr. James asked in a bored voice.
"Ok. Which yogurt do you want?" Dave asked.
"I don't care. Just get me any one." Mr. James said. Dave handed him a banana yogurt. Dave then went to the cupboard and took out a pack of cookies. "Dave?" Mr. James asked again.
"Yes, Mr. James?" Dave answered.
"Get me a cookie." Mr. James said.
"Yes sir. We have Oreos, Chips ahoy-" Dave started.
"I don't care. Just any one would do." Mr. James said. Dave raised his eyebrow but handed him some Oreos. He turned his back only to have it hit by a cookie. Dave turned around to have his face hit by yogurt.
"Mr. James? What-" Dave started but Mr. James ran out of the kitchen.
"I'm going to go through your desk!" Mr. James childishly yelled. Dave rolled his eyes and went after him.
"What is going on with Mr. James, today?" Joe asked as he typed on his computer.
"Yeah. He seems to have changing personalities." Lisa said.
"Like that girl on 'Melrose'." Matthew added. As they conversed about it some more, Catherine and Bill was doing the news in their booth.
"Pita Pita Pita Pu Pu." Bill said as he went though some notes. Catherine raised her brow and Bill caught himself. "Sorry. It's that dang song." The opening music came on and Bill faced the microphone. "Hello, out there in Pita-New York. This is Bill Pu-McNeel with the news here on Pit-WNYX!" Catherine was trying her best to keep in her laughter but failed.
"HahahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Catherine laughed her butt off on air. Surprisingly, this was bringing in good ratings. Meanwhile, in Mr. James' office, Mr. James was looking out of his window, drink in hand. Dave came in.
"Um, Mr. James. I-" Dave started but Mr. James cut him off.
"Dave." Mr. James said.
"Yes?" Dave wondered.
"Dave." Mr. James said again, turning and giving him a smile.
"Yes?" Dave asked again, getting confused.
"Dave." Mr. James said and took a very noisy sip from his cup.
"Um...I'm going to leave now." Dave said and back out of the room as Mr. James gave very annoying laugh, complete with snorting.
As he ran out to the lobby, Dave's mind began to click together the pieces of the puzzle. Mr. James had so far acted mean, sincere, really really happy, lazy, childish, and just recently, annoying. This didn't seem like him at all and came to the conclusion that maybe these were the faces that the title was referring to. Crick crack.
"And in other news, Dave! Stop it with the wall!" Bill yelled into the microphone. Someone else named Dave was fixing a wall elsewhere.
"But if I don't fix it, my Mother's going to yell at me!" the other Dave said to the radio. Back at the station, Dave ran up to the others.
"Hey, guess what? Mr. James is showing his others faces i.e. his other personalities!" Dave explained.
"Oh, good. Now we can go home." Joe said and actually started to get ready to leave. Beth knocked him out and put him into a drawer. Mr. James came out, looking confused,
"Is this the bathroom?" he asked.
"No. It's that way." Dave said, pointing the other way.
"Oh...what your name?" Mr. James asked.
"It's Dave, sir. You should know." Dave said, getting confused himself.
"Oh...Bob?" Mr. James asked.
"Here. Let me take you to the bathroom." Matthew said and lead Mr. James there.
"I wonder how long this is going to go on?" Beth said, getting a headache.
"I don't know. Untill whoever's writting this decides to stop." Dave said. Suddenly, Mr. James screamed and ran into the office. He jumped into Lisa's arms. Dave felt a little hurt.
"It's dark in there, man! I can't go in there!" Mr. James said, wigged out.
"He's scared now." Matthew told Beth. Beth, for whatever reason, knocked him out and put him into another drawer.
"You'll be ok, Mr. James." Dave said.
"No, I won't. I haven't used the bathroom...never mind." Mr. James said, blushing. Everyone moved away from him. Later on, everyone was getting ready to leave.
"I hope Mr. James is back to normal." Catherine said.
"I hope so, too. I've never seen him act like such a child when we wouldn't let him watch 'Sesame street'." Bill said.
"Well-" Lisa was about to say something when they heard sobs coming from somewhere. "Is that Mr. James?" she asked.
"No. It's just Max." Dave said as he opened a window.
"No. I wasn't crying but I ought to be, I have not been in this stupid episode until now." Max said.
"Well, come on. We need to leave." Dave said when more sobs started somewhere.
"They're coming from this drawer." Catherine said and opened two of them. Matthew and Joe climed out, wiping tears from their faces.
"You were just gonna leave!" Joe just plain whined. Everyone looked at each other. Mr. James came out amid silence.
"Hey. You're just about to leave?" Mr. James asked.
"Yeah." Dave answered.
"All right. Good night." Mr. James said cheerfully. Everyone thought that they were going to see him cry but just forgot about it and left.
The next morning, Mr. James was on the phone and Dave had just walked in.
"So...what are you saying? I can't have a taco with egg and all that good stuff in it?...Well, yeah. I know it's not lunchtime but...Please?...Do you want a hundred dollars?..." Sighing, Mr. James hung up the phone and just sat there.
"Are you ok, Mr. James?" Dave asked.
"He called me a bad name..." Mr. James said.
"Oh...I'm sorry. What did he say?" Dave asked.
"He...called me...fat..." Mr. James' eyes started to well up.
"I'm sorry to hear that. He shouldn't have been so insensitive." Dave said.
"You don't understand!" Mr. James said as he started to sob. "You don't know how hard it is for a fat man to live in a skinny man's world!" With that, he buried his head into his arms and continued to sob really loud.
"But...you're not fat...you're...big boned." Dave said. Somewhere and somehow, he could hear someone laughing. "Royalties" he scoffed. Dave went over to Mr. James and started to comfort him.
"Dave. What are you doing?" Mr. James asked.
"Um...weren't you just crying? Dave asked, confused.
"What did I tell you? I said I never cry." Mr. James said.
"But..." Dave stammered. Mr. James got up, face completely dry, and left. Dave just stood there for a second and then left. "I think he's back to normal.: Dave told the others.
"You mean I missed him cry?!" Matthew asked.
"Yes. He was indeed sobbing like a baby." Dave said. Matthew got up and threw his chair into the radio booth, smashing the glass. He then preceeded to shout at the top of his lungs. Everyone just slumped back into their chairs. Here we go again... Dave thought.
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And the moral of this story? Never call Mr. James fat because he'll cry like a big baby.
Mr. James: Who are you callin' a baby?! I'm am not!
Well, then why when the guy over the phone called you fat-
Mr. James: What?! Well, I'm not sure you're all that lanky your self, you-
Um, let's get out of here before we are treated to a disturbing display. Remember to Read and Review and good what ever time of day it is.
Mr. James: (Is ranting in the background)