A/N: Thank you for such positive feedback on my first chapter! I am really happy that all of you loved Mimi's POV so much! I appreciate every single review, and I have to tell those who asked questions that eventually those questions will be answered. It was all an evil plan of mine to leave some things up in the air. So just be patient and you will be pleased…I hope. XD
Disclaimer: Jonathan Larson's.
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Earlier that dayI swing open the door, flopping my tired body down on the couch, and awaiting the sound of Mark's voice. I know he'll ask me some sort of question once he notices I'm home, even though most of the time I ignore them. I try not to ignore him, but his incessant wondering about my state of mind. Apparently I'm not allowed to have thoughts without his prying into them.
"Hey." A small voice sneaks up behind me, a pale and bony hand ruffling my hair and forcing my feet over so he can sit next to them.
"Hey Mark." I grunt as my eyes flutter open and closed. Maybe this will give him a clue that I'm in no mood to discuss.
"How was your day? Didn't go out with Mimi?" He leans the back of his head against the armrest of the couch, slumping down so our thighs are parallel. Here he goes with the questions again. But now that I think about it, I don't really mind once he's actually sitting next to me, once we are staring into each other's eyes, once I can feel that he really cares. He's not just trying to make conversation like Mimi does, he's trying to make me feel important.
"Nah, I wanted to come back here. Sleep, talk, ya know." I mumble, my eyes still not under control, and Mark rubs my foot lightly with the tips of his finger.
"Rather spend time sleeping than with your girlfriend? What does that say about your commitment issues?" He shakes my foot gently in his hand, forcing me to snap it from his grip quickly. Maybe I would rather spend time sleeping than with Mimi. Lately I've gotten the feeling that I'm getting tired of putting up with her. All of her drugs, her sex, her constant need for attention. It's all becoming too much. And even though she said she'll stop shooting up, she'll stop cheating, she'll stop ignoring me, I know she never will. It's just who she is. And that's not who I need. I still desperately love her, but I need something different. Someone different.
"Well…I don't know. I mean, lately Mimi has become a little distant." I admit, lifting off of the cushion for a second to resituate then lying back down with a sigh.
"You sure it's not you becoming distant?" His eyebrows raise, the quirk he's never been able to shake, but that I don't mind as much as I say. It brings a certain oddness to Mark that I've grown fond of over the years. It took me a while to get used to his constant finger fumbling and twitches, but I sunk into them soon enough. Now they are just a part of him.
"No it's not me…smart ass." I murmur under my breath, closing my eyes for good and letting my mind drift off.
"Hey, don't fall asleep." Mark whines, pushing me until my eyes snap back open.
"What? Why?" I groan, using my hands as leverage to sit up, then crossing my arms across my chest.
"Because…I'll be bored. It's four in the afternoon. I don't feel like sleeping."
"All right. What do you want to do?" I rub my eyes, attempting to wake myself up, but I end up just wanting to keep them shut.
"I don't know. Just talk. You've been spending a lot of time with Mimi, we haven't really talked in a while." His eyes fill with sorrow…maybe something else. He lowers them away from me, and I search my mind for a topic we could discuss.
"What do you want to know? My life story? I think you've got the gist of it by now." My voice is bored, jokes becoming meaningless words.
"Nah, just…wondering how things are with Mimi."
"Fine." I answer quickly and abruptly, most likely making him wonder. But how else am I supposed to answer? Yea, Mark, my relationship is going down the pipes, help!
"Mhmm…" He mumbles, snickering into his hand and smirking widely.
"Don't be so sure you know all that's going on. I don't tell you everything you know." I inform him, examining the piece of fuzz placed on my shoulder before carefully brushing it away and blowing it over the side of the couch.
"You don't?" He looks a little hurt, as if he tells me everything that goes on in his life.
"Nope. Why do you tell me everything?" I pry, almost asking him to tell me everything I don't know. Mark always seems like he has a secret, but most of the time it's just unwritten diary entries. Nothing big and important.
"Well…yea." He admits softly, almost inaudible, but I'm not buying it.
"Bullshit Mark. I have yet to find out where you have been all this time I've been "with Mimi". What do you do on lonely nights?" His eyes flicker, the radiant blue shining through his eyelids even when they are shut. I've never really noticed how fucking blue his eyes really are. I guess I've never really paid much attention to his physical features. Other than his brighter than the sun blond hair.
"I don't know. I hang around the loft, shoot stuff on the street. Nothing new." He states, and to my dismay, I can tell he's telling the truth. Damn. I was really looking forward to some news.
"Met anyone new lately?" I ask a more detailed question, but he shakes his head immediately. Wow, he must really be bored without me here. I almost feel guilty for leaving him all alone all the time. But now I think I might be spending a little more time at home.
Mark shifts next to me, his feet tickling the side of my hip and brushing against the chain hanging off of my jeans. I look down at him and smile, then repeat the same thing to him.
"Hey, quit it."
"You started it!" I yell playfully at him, kicking gently at his stomach.
"Don't!" He kicks back, this time harder, prompting me to return it with a strike across his shin. "Roger, we're acting like we're in grade school." He chuckles, hitting me back before cringing away from me for safety.
"You're the one who can't sit still." I press down on his foot, making his jitters come to a halt. His toes wriggle between my fingers, and a slight shiver travels down my spine. What the hell? I let go hastily, rubbing a small blush I feel coming away from my cheeks.
"I can too. I was just trying to get comfortable."
"Well now because of your annoying habits, I'm falling asleep. Good riddance." My eyes waver shut, until Mark begins to run his fingers over the edges of my toes. "What are you doing?" I ask nervously, holding back a laugh that would no doubt make both of us uncomfortable. He stops the contact, looking wide-eyed up at me and falsely smiling.
"Oh…sorry." I'm surprised that once his hand lifts off of me, I regret making him stop. It felt nice, to be touched so subtly, so secretively, so intimately. Mimi seems to only touch me when she wants something. And most of the time that's sex. But Mark was just doing it out of boredom.
"It's all right." I nod towards him, possibly telling him to continue. Sure enough, his fingers land back against my covered foot, weaving over each of my toes gently. The touch comforts me, allowing me to relax, shut my eyes, and slowly fall asleep.
A harsh knock comes from outside the door, and I'm thrown awake by the noise. Jesus. Who is here? It's almost…oh. It's only six. My body shifts violently on the couch, trying to force myself from the comfortable position to answer the door, when I realize that something is blocking me from leaving. My eyelids flip open wearily to discover Mark's unconscious form beside me, and a blanket covering my tired body. What the hell happened? Mark and I were…Oh.
The afternoon of foot rubs comes back to mind, and I reluctantly push away from him to go answer the irritating pounding. The door slides open to reveal Mimi, all dressed up for work, sans her coat. Great.
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I can tell Roger's asleep, his erratic breathing becoming slow and gentle, moving his chest rhythmically with each exhale and inhale. For a while I'm occupied with just this, regarding his chest as it rises and falls, air filling and air disappearing. The past few months all I've done is watch Roger. Watch from the sidelines. Watch as he fell into love with Mimi, watched as he slowly became someone different, as he let go of his past and finally let someone new into his heart. I watched as he unintentionally broke my heart, by finding someone new to love. Someone who isn't me.
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That night
"I'm so tired…" I sigh against Roger's chest, running my thin fingers slowly over his bellybutton. His naked torso lies underneath my skinny frame, lifting me gently with every breath.
"Me too." He murmurs, his voice slow and fatigued. I don't know how he can still be tired after just having woken up. The moonlight seems early, seeing as it's only seven and it's shining as brightly as ever. I almost wish I could see the stars. Damn New York City. "Mimi…" He whispers in my ear, and I groan into his neck before answering.
"Yea?"
"Are we all right?" He asks, taking me by surprise, and forcing me to sit up to face him. His eyes are still closed, and apparently I've taken his question more seriously than he meant it.
"What do you mean?" I lay my hand on his bare chest, pressing lightly to make sure he knows I'm not about to drift to sleep.
"Well…I was just wondering if there was…anything wrong. You seem to be sort of…sad lately." His silhouette shadows over me, towering compared to my miniscule form.
"I'm not sad. I just…I'm fine. We're fine." I answer quickly, leaning my head against his chest once and again and taking in a deep breath. My nails drag over his leg, careful not to scratch, even though a little part of me would like to leave a mark. He thinks I seem sad? I don't think I am the problem here.
"Okay." He sighs, sounding relieved.
"Goodnight. I love you." I utter, and he moans in comfort.
"Goodnight."
I guess that's the best I'll ever get.
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Notes: Is that okay? A little of everyone? The next chapter will hopefully be completely Mimi POV unless anyone would not prefer that? Just review and tell me! Thanks guys!