Chapter two. I'd like to thank you all for the feedback you've left, as well.
After ten minutes of waiting on a scrub nurse who clearly is not going to appear, Serena Campbell finds herself resigned to the fact that this is the worst Monday in the history of bad Mondays. She storms out of the theatre preparation room and onto Keller Ward, ready to find her missing nurse and let rip, not at all in the humour for putting up with anyone else's tardiness. "Where the hell is my scrub nurse?" she demands of Colette as she passes to the lifts.
"I have no idea," admits the woman, and Serena throws her hands in the air in despair and waits for the head of nursing to fix the problem, as is her job. She exhales sharply and, with volume disproportionate to her slender size, calls, "Right. Which of my nurses here has theatre experience?!" The younger nurses stay still and silent but a new face, Shayna Roberts, raises her hand. "Shayna, go with Ms. Campbell, please."
Shayna passes her files to the nearest nurse and approaches Serena with a smile, who turns to Colette and says, "Thank you. And please pass on my frustrations to Nurse Cassidy when you find her." Colette nods and walks away and Serena turns to Shayna. "Come on then," she smiles slightly; it isn't Shayna fault the first scrub nurse didn't appear. "So, Nurse Roberts. What brings you to the weird and wonderful land of Holby City General?" she asks.
"Change of scene," Shayna vaguely. "And just call me Shayna. 'Nurse Roberts' sounds so uptight." Serena chuckles, recalling she had said something similar to Ric on her own first day working here. Shayna takes her hair out of the ponytail and Serena watches her tie it up in a messy knot like she used to when she was younger.
When they stalk through the double doors at exactly the same pace and start scrubbing in while the patient is taken into the theatre, Serena says, "Well, I can assure you a change of scene is exactly what you'll find here."
"Why does that unnerve me somewhat?"
It's a joke but Serena fully understands what she means. This place has highs and lows and lots of madness in between. She has found, though, that once a place is found in the scheme of things, and there is a group to become a part of, things settle fairly quickly. She fell in with the likes of Ric Griffin, Antoine Malick, Michael Spence and Henrik Hanssen, though there are always disagreements along the way.
"So, Ms. Campbell," begins Shayna.
"Serena," she corrects. She figures that if Shayna insists on a first name basis then it may as well go both ways.
Shayna grins as an apron and head cap are put on for her. "Serena. How long have you been here?"
"Um, not much short of two years." She realises it doesn't feel like two years since she had first walked into Keller's grasp, only to fall out with Henrik Hanssen and end up on AAU and then be promoted to deputy CEO, never really knowing on which ward she belonged. She still flits between AAU and Keller, thankful only that she rarely has to venture up to the madhouse that is Darwin. The thought of the CT ward reminds her Jac Naylor has recently given birth to her daughter and she makes a mental note to go and see how she is.
She sighs and enters the theatre. She finds she actually quite likes Shayna far more than she had anticipated. She has a way of brightening things up without trying, and she is beautiful beyond belief; that's exactly what her Hebrew name means: beautiful. It's a name Serena will never let slip from her mind, one she says in her head every single night before she goes to sleep, but never has she said it aloud in many, many years. But she cannot link the two because this Shayna is a different person, with a different surname and a different being.
They are nearly finished the procedure when Zosia March appears at the window, her finger pressed into the button on the intercom. "What is it, Dr. March?" Serena asks, only briefly looking up to see the young doctor's face.
"Edward Campbell is on Keller. He says he needs to see you," Zosia informs her. Serena feels her heart sink as she closes her eyes and counts to five as she decides how to deal with him. She can't deny the need to speak to him despite the shot of fear it sends through her. It seems like every time she sees him she feels worse than the last time.
"Is he sober?" she asks, her eyes still shut.
She hears Zosia's disembodied voice answer her, "He's not wasted but he's obviously had a couple."
She opens her eyes and replies, "Get Ric to take him into my office and make sure you take the bottle of wine out of my middle drawer before he goes in. I'll see him when I've finished up here; just give me quarter of an hour."
"I'm perfectly capable of-" Zosia begins but Serena has to cut her off before she can finish.
"It's not you I don't trust, Dr. March," she assures her, and Zosia nods, seemingly understanding that it is for her own good that she asks that Ric deals with Edward. After what happened with Mary-Claire Carter, Serena doesn't want her ex-husband near young, beautiful women who have something to lose.
Zosia replies, "Of course, Ms. Campbell. I'll find Mr. Griffin right now."
"Thank you," Serena nods. She catches Shayna looking slightly confused in a room filled with people who knew what Edward is and what he has done, and she knows she has to explain in case someone else gives her the wrong impression. "My charming ex-husband," she says to Shayna. "As you'll probably hear one way or the other, it turned out on Christmas Eve that he's a cheating, lying, scheming alcoholic," she adds with more bitterness than is strictly necessary. It still stings to remember the events of Christmas and New Year, and how he had followed her to Cambridge.
"Ah," Shayna says. "Well, I'll know never to go near him," she grins. Serena cannot help but smirk, even though she dreads having to face him. Unfortunately, she doesn't have much choice if she wants to know what that bizarre voicemail means. The likelihood is that he is just drunkenly waffling but she has learned the hard way never to take Edward at face value. "Men can be a right pain in the neck."
Serena has to laugh as she remembers saying to Kathy at Ric's university reunion that 'men can be stupid at any age.' There seems to be quite a lot in common between herself and Shayna; she can see them becoming friends rather quickly. It would be quite nice to have a female friend rather than being surrounded by men. After all, there are things men just don't understand, and things that they attempt to understand but only succeed in irritating her as a consequence.
She closes up quickly but perfectly and hastily washes her hands and rips off her apron and surgical cap. It's only when she is in her office, Edward sitting on the corner of Ric's desk, that she feels her resolve waver for only a moment as she takes in his half-cut state. "Serena, darling," he begins. She shoots him an icy glare for his use of a pet name to her and he holds up his hands and continues. "I think I remember what happened."
"Go on," she drawls. She doesn't miss Ric's sceptical, almost bored, expression. He is sick of the sight of Edward already, and Serena briefly allows herself to wonder why he is less patient than usual while he watches the ex-partners talk.
"Last June, I was in a bar in London," he explains. She opens her mouth to make a comment about his drinking habits but she promptly thinks better of it. "The woman next to me was using the free Wi-Fi and she was looking for a Serena McKinnie in the online phonebook. I can't remember exactly what was said," he confesses. "But I definitely told her where you work, if not your address."
Serena feels herself grow nervous; she wonders if it's another Serena McKinnie the woman searched for or if it is actually her. "What does she look like?"
"I can't really remember. Um, tall, well-built, brown hair..."
"So you've narrowed it down to half the women in the western hemisphere. You're pathetic," she snaps at him impatiently. "You didn't think to ask for her name or why she was looking for someone who shares my maiden name? You didn't think to tell me when it happened?!" she demands. Her patience has completely abandoned her and her voice is rising quickly.
"I was-"
"Plastered," she supplies for him. "What a surprise."
"She didn't seem like she would be danger," he argues. "I wouldn't put you in danger."
Serena lets out a short, bitter laugh. "And how can you possibly be sure of that when you were most likely legless? Your daughter, Edward! You didn't even think about Ellie when you were telling some randomer where she lives!" He doesn't speak and she can see he knows he's in the wrong. Of course, he doesn't realise what he may have set into motion, but Serena convinces herself that the chances are slim to none.
Edward stands up, clearly slightly unsteady. "I'm sorry."
"Just go," she retorts. He steps towards her and she steps back so he cannot touch her and makes sure he knows where he stands. He leaves without a word and she collapses, weak at the knees, into her chair. The fact this happened last summer and she's not heard from anyone is strange in itself. She can't recall any odd visitors or phone calls, to her home or the hospital, and she has faith that Eleanor would tell her if she is approached by someone looking for her mum.
She looks up at Ric, who looks a bit bewildered by now. "Is it anything to worry about?" he asks her gently once they are alone.
She considers her answer for a few moments. It could very well be something to worry about but, equally, it could be an innocent misunderstanding. There are people she knows may eventually try and find her, and she knows that, if that day is ever to come, there is nothing she can do to stop them. She cannot take their free will from them. In all honesty, she has no idea how she would react if it ever happened, apart from with fear. Fear of the known and unknown, and of her past and her future.
Serena meets Ric's eyes and finds she can't actually lie to him right now. "I don't know," she admits. "It's a little odd, isn't it?"
"True," he reasons, diplomacy always his strength. "But there are more people in the world called Serena McKinnie than just you." She leans right back into her chair and runs her hand through hair. What's done is done – yet again, she can't undo Edward Campbell's stupidity. And it was over seven months ago. Surely if someone is looking for her, they would have found her by now. "Is there something going on?"
Serena sighs and avoids the question. "Thanks for sitting with Edward," she says. "I'd rather him be with you than Zosia."
"No problem," he smiles at her. She smiles back and they return to their comfortable silence, in which Serena contemplates every decision she has ever made, and what her life would be by now if she had decided different. But she resolves never to let herself dwell, because to dwell only hurts. It doesn't change things, so there is no point in doing it.
However, if she knew then what she knows now, she is certain she would have stuck it out and still somehow defended everyone. But what is her nature now is not what was her nature then, and life has taught her many lessons she had needed long before she learnt them – that she is stronger than she once thought.
Reviews/comments always welcomed.