Red Lantern
by Mayushii
All copyright materials are property of their respective owners.
A/N: Sorry for the long wait; a lot has been going on lately. I graduated college, went on a grad program research road trip with my past-and-future roommate, went to a religious retreat with said roommate, applied for jobs, finally took and passed a learner's permit test, and celebrated my sister's birthday and my brother's graduation. Big thanks to dragonairsdream, Little Sadako, TheBeingOfEverything, Kurama no Miko2003, and Caffeinated Star for reviewing the first chapter!
-End of chapter glossary includes descriptions for each of the foods and drinks featured.
Red Lantern, Pt. 2
Luckily for Yusuke, there wasn't too much time to dwell on the bad news he had to give Kuwabara. Natsume had returned to their table, carrying a tray loaded with two bottles of Ramune and a glass each of iced tea and chocolate milk (Kurama and Hiei must have ordered their drinks when Natsume first greeted them at the door). Yusuke wasn't sure whether to be surprised or amused by his teammates' choices. Once Kuwabara had opened his mouth and said,
"I bet you blow bubbles in your milk like a five-year-old!"
—and Hiei had turned a poisonous glare on Kuwabara, Yusuke decided it was funny more than anything.
"And what is that ridiculous look on your face all about?" Hiei glowered at Yusuke, looking about ready to bash a few heads in defense of his chocolate milk. This, of course, forced Yusuke to hide his snickers behind his hand and miss Natsume's question about their orders.
"I'd like the kitsuneudon, please," Kurama said softly as he handed the hostess his unopened menu.
"Kitsuneudon, of course," Natsume said brightly.
Kurama smiled and raised an eyebrow at Yusuke, Kuwabara and Hiei, prompting them to open their menus and skim through them. On first glance it seemed like standard fare…until Yusuke looked more closely. He was pretty sure that most restaurants didn't serve such items as demon sweetroot shish kebabs and grilled Makaigyo fillets.
"Uh, I'll have the tempura sampler," Kuwabara said, staring bug-eyed at some of the selections. "Just, could you try to make it…normal stuff?"
"Normal?" Natsume asked uncertainly.
"Human," Kurama clarified.
"Ah, yes, of course sir. We'll stick to local ingredients," the hostess said, jotting this down on her notepad.
"Kurama, there's no monjayaki," Hiei complained.
"Monjayaki!" Yusuke and Kuwabara gasped, scandalized. Hiei turned a confused look on them.
"Yes there is, Hiei, it just has a different name here," Kurama spoke up with a persuasive smile. "They call it okonomiyaki. It's cooked a bit more here, too, because humans have weaker immune systems and are more susceptible to illnesses from raw food. Isn't that right, Yusuke? Kuwabara?"
The two humans bobbed their heads fervently. "Yep, we swear!"
If Hiei suspected anything was amiss, he didn't show it. (Kurama's lie sounded very plausible, though, and Yusuke might have bought it if he didn't know it was a lie—or was it? Yusuke had never thought about why there were differences between monjayaki and okonomiyaki…maybe youkai really had invented the less palatable version. Damn, now he wasn't sure Kurama had been lying after all.) Hiei muttered something about pitiful humans under his breath and nodded his head at Natsume, who quickly wrote down his order and gave Yusuke an expectant look.
"Guess that leaves me," Yusuke said easily. "Hey Kurama, think the vegetable stir fry is safe for us pitiful humans?"
"I'm sure it is," Kurama beamed.
"Cool," Yusuke grinned as he handed back his menu. "Just as long as it doesn't kill me."
"We will try not to, sir," Natsume said politely, "but due to the nature of our establishment, we cannot guarantee it."
As the hostess walked away, little drops of sweat started to pour down Yusuke's face. Oh boy. Why do I get the feeling I just signed a death warrant…
"Relax," Kurama reassured him. "She was joking. Chu is very knowledgeable about what is and isn't safe for human consumption."
"He's a cook," Hiei pointed out, as if that explained everything.
"Indeed," Kurama nodded. "Cooking may be simple in the human world, but that's because you only have to know what humans eat. In Makai, there are thousands of different types of youkai, and a cook has to be well-versed in the foods each of them can eat. It takes a lot of time and skill to learn it all—and trust me, Chu has. You're in safe hands."
Yusuke glanced in the direction of the bar. Chu was busy throwing a bottle in the air, catching it, and shaking its contents into a frying pan that promptly burst into flames. A couple at the bar "oohed" appreciatively, and Chu grinned as he gave the pan a few good tosses. The last toss went high enough that Chu was able to grab a plate, position it under the flying food, and catch the finished stir-fry without so much as a splatter. The couple at the bar clapped and Chu bowed slightly.
Okay, yeah. The guy's got skills.
"Man, he's such a showoff," whined a voice near Yusuke's ear.
"Bleah!" Yusuke yelped. The person who had spoken leapt away, bounced off the top of Kuwabara's head like it was a springboard, and landed beside Kurama in a crouch reminiscent of a monkey. Yusuke stared. It was a kid around ten years old, with round, pearly green eyes and a brown thatch of hair just like Natsume's. He was wearing jeans and a pink shirt with long yellow sleeves, and he had a black bookbag strapped to his back. There was also a small green marble bag hanging at his hip.
"Kinda jumpy, huh," the boy commented, his huge eyes trained on Yusuke.
"Sneaky little punk…" Kuwabara growled, rubbing a hand over his hair in an attempt to remove the boy's shoeprint. "Who the heck are you?"
"You're eating at my house and you don't even know who I am?" the boy frowned. "My name's Rinku. My mom and Chu run this place."
"Yeah, well, I'm Kazuma Kuwabara, the number one thug of Sarayashiki High!" Kuwabara puffed himself up impressively.
"Big deal," Rinku drawled. "There are tons of high schools around here. Being the 'number one thug' out of one of them doesn't count for much." Kuwabara's sour face went even more sour, but Rinku ignored him in favor of looking at Yusuke. "I know who you are, though. You're that Spirit Detective, Yusuke Urameshi." A sudden, inexplicable chill ran down Kuwabara's spine as if someone had dropped an ice cube down his back. No one else noticed this as Rinku continued, "Heard lots about you from Kurama, y'know…"
"Oh, hey, you talk about me?" Yusuke asked Kurama, brightening at the prospect. "Anything good?"
Surprisingly, Kurama turned red. "Erm, I don't think it's really—"
"Kurama's in looove with you," Rinku crooned, making a kissy face.
Yusuke sat in stunned silence. Kurama sat in embarrassed silence. Kuwabara sat in slightly sickened silence.
This left it up to Hiei to leave his seat, appear behind Rinku, grab the back of the boy's shirt collar, and lift him clear off his feet—all in the space of less than a second.
"I thought monkeys spoke no evil," Hiei commented in a careless tone. "Does lying not qualify?"
"Lie, nothin'!" Rinku folded his arms over his chest stubbornly, not seeming too concerned about the precarious position he was in. "It's not my fault if Kurama goes on and on 'bout how Urameshi is oh, so noble. Just 'cause an ugly dwarf like you doesn't get any attention—"
"RINKU!"
The monkey child froze at the sound of Natsume's voice. Hiei's angry sneer twisted into a smirk.
"Hn… Your mom is calling you," Hiei leered, releasing his hold on Rinku's collar.
Rinku tugged his shirt straight, stuck out his tongue at Hiei, and sprang off in the direction of Natsume. The woman caught her son in midair by his ear and started to chew him out for terrorizing customers, but it changed halfway through into a lecture over the stick-on tattoo of three pink stars across Rinku's left cheek ("But they're not even real, and I got them at school, you can't get mad if they're for school!" "Getting them at school and getting them for school are two separate things!").
"Tch. First monkeys, now fish," Hiei said, dropping back down into his seat and staring pointedly at Yusuke's gaping mouth and Kuwabara's bluish complexion. He sighed, propped his elbow on the table and dropped his chin onto his open hand. "Kurama, rectify the situation before their stupidity spreads."
Kurama cleared his throat.
"Ahem. First of all, Yusuke… While I'm sure you make Miss Keiko very happy, I most certainly am not in love with you," Kurama said clearly.
Oh thank God. Yusuke closed his mouth, and his heart started beating again. Good thing, too, because he had probably been technically dead for a minute there.
"That said, I don't think I have been entirely forthright about my feelings toward you—a disservice to you, and one which I would like to set right." Kurama smiled and raised his glass of iced tea. "I have spoken very highly of you. In my opinion, the Spirit World could not have picked a better person for the job of Spirit Detective. You are one of the most amazing people I have ever had the pleasure of knowing, and half of us wouldn't even be here today if not for you. For that, you have my respect, my trust and my friendship."
Without even moving from his position propped up on one arm, Hiei lifted his glass of chocolate milk in agreement. Kurama smiled, clinked his glass together with Hiei's, and the two youkai drank.
Yusuke rubbed his finger over his nose.
"Jeez, guys, you're embarrassing me here," he mumbled.
"Good," Hiei said unsympathetically. "And this doesn't mean we're friends, by the way, so don't get any ideas."
"Yeah, yeah," Yusuke grinned, waving his hand and feeling much more comfortable now that they were back to bickering like boys their age should. "Love you too, jerk."
Hiei scowled with all the menacing presence of a tsundere—that is to say, it came off as totally harmless and even kind of cute. Kurama chuckled and Yusuke beamed proudly. Then, finally, Yusuke realized that Kuwabara wasn't contributing to the conversation and hadn't been for a while now. He glanced at his human friend to see him still looking blue in the face.
"What's your problem?"
"…I dunno," Kuwabara muttered. "I've got a weird feeling in my gut…"
Of course, Yusuke wasn't one to pass up an opportunity like that. "Dude, I don't need to know about your bowel movements. Bathroom's thatta way."
Kuwabara leaned down to glare into Yusuke's face, his tongue almost literally twisting itself into angry knots. "It's not that kind of feeling, Jackass! Why can't you take me seriously for once?"
"I'm totally taking you seriously! Look at my face. Is this not a serious face?" Yusuke said, making a face that was so serious it was funny.
"Why, you—! Fine! I'll go check it out myself!" Kuwabara was on his feet in a flash, shoulders squared as he looked grimly in the direction of the back hall. "But you better know that if this turns out to be a youkai and I'm the one who catches it, I'm taking your next paycheck as Spirit Detective."
"But Kuwabara," Kurama tried to reason with him, "this place is full of youkai—"
"I don't even get paychecks!" Yusuke called.
The door to the hallway slammed shut. Yusuke rolled his eyes while Kurama and Hiei sweatdropped, the former smiling and the latter frowning.
"Idiot," Yusuke muttered, lifting his bottle of soda and taking a swig. "If he falls in, I'm not gonna be the one that saves him."
Kuwabara was not imagining things.
And he didn't have to go to the bathroom, damn it.
Of course, he had been known to mistake his premonitions for the call of nature…
But not this time, he was sure of it! There was something fishy going on here, and he would get to the bottom of it or perish in the attempt.
"And get me another box of green peppers, too," Kuwabara heard Chu call as the swinging door to the kitchen opened. The assistant cook, a blue-skinned youkai with hair messy enough to rival Mr. I'm-So-Short-My-Sword-Is-Taller-Than-Me, stood in the open doorway. For a second the youkai stayed with his head on the other side, assuring Chu that he'd be right back. Then he walked into the hall, letting the door swing shut behind him.
He stopped dead when he saw Kuwabara.
"What are you doing back here?" the youkai snapped.
Kuwabara let out a pathetic meep. "Uh, bathroom?"
"It's right there." The youkai pointed his finger at a door almost directly across from Kuwabara. He then made his way toward the thick, metal door of the cold storage area, stood in front of it and crossed his arms. "And make it quick, you're not supposed to be back here."
With the youkai's slitted yellow eyes boring into him, Kuwabara had little choice but to duck into the room across from him. As soon as he had closed and locked the door, he slumped with defeat. So much for investigating a big detective case. He sighed sadly and figured he may as well make use of the facilities. Just to make sure.
A minute later, as he watched the toilet water whoosh down the drain, Kuwabara decided that it had been a false alarm after all. He hated making mistakes, and now he'd have to go back to the others and admit that was exactly what it had been. Urameshi would laugh at him, Shrimp-Boy would give him that stupid insufferable smirk, and…well, maybe Kurama would try to act nice, but on the inside he'd be laughing just like everyone else. Kuwabara scowled at the toilet as if to accuse it of putting him in this situation. Stupid thing, giving him bad intel…
Thump.
Kuwabara's eyes darted to his right, where the sink and mirror stood. He frowned suspiciously. That cook must have dropped something in there. Well, serves him right. Jerk.
He turned toward the sink, twisted the knobs and set about washing his hands. He had just begun to lather up when he heard another nerve-racking thump. Staring warily at his own reflection in the mirror, he rinsed away the soap, turned off the faucet and slowly reached for the roll of paper towels.
CRASH.
Kuwabara was out the door and running up the hall before the towel roll had stopped spinning.
It doesn't even matter if there's no case—if there's an accident and I can help, I'll still be a hero! Then I'll show those punks! They won't laugh at me when I'm the big hero and they were too lazy to get off their butts and—
He wrenched the huge metal door open.
…help…
The cold storage area looked like any other. There were thick metal walls, cardboard boxes full of vegetables, large cuts of meat hanging from the ceiling. There was the assistant cook, staring at him in shock, holding two green peppers in one hand and a large onion in the other. There was also a young couple, tied and gagged, huddled in a corner. The man was slumped against the wall, a huge and bloody bruise forming on his temple, while the woman was gazing at Kuwabara with wide, surprised, tearful eyes.
"Oh my…God," Kuwabara said faintly.
Two peppers and an onion flew through the air, and the woman screamed behind her gag as the youkai suddenly blurred into movement. Kuwabara threw out his hand to his side, already gathering energy for his Rei Ken, but the youkai reappeared behind him before he could form so much as a butter knife. A long blade emerged from the back of the youkai's hand, made of what looked like his own contorted flesh. As the blade pressed close to his throat, Kuwabara gulped.
"I told you you weren't supposed to come back here," the youkai hissed.
End Part 2 of "Red Lantern"
tsundere: describes a person, usually female but sometimes male, who acts cool or aggressive to hide inner vulnerability.
Rei Ken: Spirit Sword
Ramune: a popular brand of soft drink in Japan.
grilled Makaigyo fillets: Rando tries to feed Yusuke to some giant fish during the Genkai Tournament. These are them, but basted with a light soy sauce-based mixture and grilled on skewers. :P
kitsuneudon: udon noodles served in hot soup and topped with seasoned aburaage (deep-fried tofu). It literally means "fox noodles", as there is a belief that Japanese foxes like aburaage.
okonomiyaki: Hiei demands monjayaki in one of the radio dramas. Okonomiyaki is a better-known version of the dish. Okonomiyaki is sometimes called Japanese pizza, but it's more like a pancake with vegetables, meat, or whatever you like cooked in with the batter. Monjayaki is the same thing, but the batter isn't fully cooked so it's all liquid-y and gross.
tempura: a piece of food (usually various types of meat, seafood, and vegetables) that is dipped in batter and deep-fried. It has a light, crispy texture.
vegetable stir fry: onion, peppers, broccoli, green beans, carrots, snow peas, etc all sautéed in delicious salty-sweet sauce.