A/N The second chapter is being updated immediately with the first, as the tone of the story is set better with both in tandem. Enjoy!

TWO

"I think she's awake…"

Helen felt like she was floating in an inky black ether, light only now beginning to interrupt the vast womb of nothing. Gradually at first, the feeling of becoming more solid accelerated and she suddenly felt as if she were being slammed back into the real world.

"Easy, easy, Doc." She felt hands pushing her back, and realized she was on a bed. She heaved, struggling against some mortal bonds, more hands pushing her back, and slowly she began to orient herself. She was lying down in a bed. Her head pounded every time she tried to get up too quickly. Her eyes were still closed.

"Earth to Magnus…" Helen's eyes slowly cracked open and her vision swam. She blinked a few times and Will and the Big Guy came into focus. They both looked relieved and smiled at her.

Will smiled gently at her. "Hey, you've finally pulled through."

"What happened?" Her voice sounded strange to her, thin and coarse.

"You were buried in rubble, we managed to get you out but you sustained a head injury."

"What day is it?" Her voice sounded thick and slow like molasses, she was finding it difficult to speak.

"You've lost about a week. You're on some heavy painkillers, you need to rest." Will held her hand soothingly, and her head swam. She hurt all over, and she felt sleep threatening to overtake her again.

"Nikola…"

Will and the Big Guy exchanged dark looks, and she looked at them pleadingly. She didn't even realize she had tried to rise again until they pushed her gently back onto the bed. "Nikola?"

"Sleep, Magnus. You need to sleep…"

She struggled helplessly, but her eyelids were too heavy and she felt them slip shut, embracing the black nothingness once more.

Helen was stone-faced when she was finally well enough to go off most of her painkillers and sedatives, and her team gathered around her for the first time to fill her in on what happened. She asked them to leave when they told her that they had found her and Nikola both, but he was beyond saving.

She wept bitterly into the sheets of her bed, feeling a raw emptiness in her chest. She woke up the next morning, face still curled into her blanket, not even realizing she had cried herself to sleep.

"Can I see him?" She asked quietly when the Big Guy came in alone with a tray of food. He sat down by her bedside, his enormous, powerful hands gentle and tender as he held hers.

"We've already buried him."

She cried again into his shoulder, though silently this time. He didn't once complain that she had gotten his hair wet, and discreetly looked away as she wiped her face clean after. She asked him to stay with her, and he read to her from a book.

When Helen was well enough to leave the infirmary she found she couldn't bear to search out his grave. She had lost so much time, really only remembering last the frightening collapse in the chamber and the shadows with eyes. And then it seemed like she had just woken up, and all of a sudden Nikola was gone and she would never see him again.

It was too much to truly comprehend.

Will had taken over the main day to day running of the Sanctuary, and bless him, still somehow found the time to seek her bedside a few times a day to see how she was doing and try to amuse her with some silly story of what mishap he had gotten himself into. Henry was determined that if he fed her enough chicken soup she would be right as rain again, and Kate seemed to have the same philosophy except with jello.

She gathered her jacket about her as she walked through her garden, feeling the slight chill of October. She knew that she would soon feel too restless to follow orders and let herself be taken care of, but right now she just felt so tired and out of sorts. Maybe it was a good thing to rest for a little.

She found one of her favourite benches, wood and worn smooth by many pleasant afternoons reading in the sun. Surrounded by her trees and flowers she felt her eyes slip shut, warmed by the sun, and fell asleep.

Helen woke to the feel of someone tucking a strand of her hair behind her ear. She opened her eyes and saw Nikola looking back, a familiar sparkle in his.

"You really miss me that much? Gods, woman, it just goes to show you one is never appreciated except in death."

Helen blinked, a chill running down her spine but unable to move. "Aren't you dead?"

"It happened to Kafka, Mozart…"

Helen sat up straighter, her eyes wide. "Nikola, aren't you dead?" She demanded.

He shrugged his shoulders, giving her a disapproving look as if to tell her to lower her voice. "That's what they're saying, isn't it?"

"I'm dreaming."

"Must be, if you'll let me do this." He swooped down and kissed her soundly on the lips, she could feel his devilish grin against her mouth and looked back in shock when he withdrew.

She stared at him, stunned, and then slapped him soundly across the face. He winced, working a muscle in his jaw and glared at her. "Well, that never changes."

"Even in my dreams you're incorrigible."

He raised an eyebrow. "So this isn't the first time you've dreamt of me? Oh do tell, Helen, I'm dying to know what goes on in your id."

Helen moaned, burying her face in her hands. "Please, Nikola, I find all of this really upsetting."

His face softened, and he placed a gentle hand against her cheek. Her breath came out in a shivering sigh, and she clasped her hand over hers, looking mournfully into her lap.

"Semper et in aeternum…"

Helen woke with a start, almost banging her head against the obliging trunk of the tree she had fallen asleep against. She looked wildly around her, but saw that she was alone. She forced herself to calm, and breathe more slowly, her heart pounding against her ribcage.

It was just a dream … an odd one, but merely a dream.

She shook her head lightly to clear herself of the cobwebs. It made sense, she had no chance to grieve or fully come to terms with what had happened. She should probably be more surprised pink elephants didn't come marching through the garden in her dream to interrupt the proceedings considering the painkillers she had been on.

Wiping the last remnants of sleep from her eyes, Helen rose to her feet and walked back to the Sanctuary. She couldn't help but steal a glance behind her, as if to make sure there wasn't someone else sitting on the bench.

"Surprisingly, we managed to find most of the samples still intact." Will showed her the small tray of glass vials and attempted a lighthearted smile. "I guess your expedition wasn't in vain."

Helen looked at the vials of venom and had to bite down a wave of bitterness. Nothing was worth what had happened down in the cavern. But she gave Will a smile nonetheless, because she wasn't angry at him and he'd been dealing with her stony moods with grace. She picked up one of the vials and inspected it under the light, more out of expectation than curiosity.

"We'd been hoping to create a serum from it … the venom itself does have miraculous properties of rejuvenation and healing, but it is still a highly volatile poison. There's an old saying that goes with it."

"First sip for waking, second to help sleep," Will prompted encouragingly.

"Third sip for soul's dreaming…" Helen finished, placing the vial back into the tray.

Will looked at her with concern. "Have you been able to talk to anybody about it yet?"

Helen lowered her eyes, unable to look at him face to face. "I'm not up to it yet, Will."

"Okay, I understand. But don't hold it in for too long. You know, probably better than I do, that this isn't something you should bear alone. Once you feel up to talking, I'm all ears."

Helen smiled at him with as much feeling as she could muster, but still couldn't look him in the eye. She knew where his concern was coming from, and she knew he was probably right. But his concern felt intrusive and unwelcome. The nervous looks she got from Henry and Kate as they tiptoed on eggshells around her made her feel alienated. She was just tired and sick of it all.

Sensing she was walling herself away from him again, Will gave her one last squeeze on the arm and left her alone in the lab.

She looked about the workstation, the notes Nikola had made when they were first designing their serum, the last records of his handwriting and pushed herself away from the desk.

When she slipped into her bed, finally feeling truly alone with the privacy of her own thoughts, she gratefully let her head fall onto her pillow. She looked at her right hand and saw the fresh scars from when the vial had shattered in her grasp. A few of the scars overlapped each other and in a moment of whimsy she thought they rather looked like a 'T'.

She fought down the wave of sadness that hit her with that thought and closed her eyes to sleep.