Here I am again. I just can't resist the urge to write this story as soon as I got the chance. Edward and Bella begged to be written and posted right away. After this chapter, you will find out why. This is a tie-in with the first chapter.
The tone of the story will take a different turn beginning the next chapter. No more depressedWard.
I don't own Twilight or any of the character, SM does. I am just a twi-addict who loves playing with Eddie and Bella. Please don't forget to visit my profile and check out the banners and the song that inspired the one-shot turned chapter one.
Oh I want to say thanks to SK who was very patient in pre-reading all the chapters I have in hand already. And *snort* thanks to Jelly too...another awesome pre-reader. Hey EE girl, you always come through for me and yet you say I am not your favorite. Thanks from the bottom of my 'evil and annoying' heart. LOL. Wendy, get well soon sis!
I am lucky to have awesome people around me.
Thanks and hope you enjoy the chappie.
Chapter 2: Unthinkable
EPOV:
A skull numbing pain and gut wrenching ache rocked my head even before I opened my eyes. I didn't' have the slightest idea what happened the night before. All I could remember was that the bottle of scotch and I got more than intimate. The music playing in my IPod had got me all riled up, thinking of Bella and all the stuff that made me hate myself even more.
Using the trapeze to pull myself up, the jolting pain in my head whacked me back down against my pillow.
"What the heck?"
I ran my hand through my hair and found a bandage on what felt like a cut on my forehead. How in the earth did I get it? I kept my eyes shut to stop the crippling headache from hitting me with full force. I waited for several minutes for the ache to subside before I attempted to pull myself up again. The throbbing continued but this time, I succeeded in hoisting myself up into a sitting position.
I lifted my dead legs one after the other and positioned my body so I could scoot to the edge of my bed, to get as close as possible to my wheelchair. The whole damn process was an ordeal in itself, taking too darn long. I felt as the beads of sweat formed on my temple as I lowered myself on the chair. I secured my feet on the footrest before wheeling myself into my bathroom.
How odd, there were pieces of gauze with blood on them inside the waist basket as well as the cleansing solution, tape and scissors on top of the bathroom counter. I took one look at myself in the mirror and saw my bloodshot eyes and the bandage that covered half of my forehead.
How did I get to bed and who taped me up? I hastily brushed my teeth and splashed water on my face and I hurriedly wheeled myself out of my room and into the kitchen where I smelled some good old fashion bacon and eggs wafting in the air.
"Mom?" I called out even before I reached the kitchen. Somehow, I could feel deep down that something was wrong. What did I miss?
"Edward, honey? I am glad you're up already. Want some breakfast?" My mom turned around with a big smile on her face that quickly disappeared when she saw the bandage on my forehead.
"Edward, what happened to you?" The horror in her voice was palpable and the worried expression was back on her face again. The look that I swore I didn't want my mother to have ever again.
"Mom, sit down please. I am okay….aside from a nasty hang over, that's what I want to find out. Do you have any idea what happened to me?" I asked as I watched my mom shook her head several times before she answered.
"No, we were out last night, remember? It was just you and Bella here…. And….oh my god! Edward, did you do anything to Bella? Is that why she left?" The words were spilling out of my mother's mouth and nothing made any sense to me. All I heard was Bella left. And although I did not have any clear memory of the events last night, I had the sick feeling in my stomach that I may have something to do with her leaving.
"Mom, what do you mean Bella left?" I was already wheeling myself out of the kitchen and into the hallway, in the direction of Bella's bedroom. It took a great deal of effort not to barge into her bedroom. I took a deep breath before I knocked on her door.
"Bella?"
I knocked several times but no answer came. I turned the knob quietly. "Bella, are you in here?" Still no answer, I could feel the panic starting to brew inside me as I let myself in and found her bed made. There was no sign of Bella inside and her bathroom was empty too.
"What the fuck happened here?" I shouted to myself as I madly wheeled towards her walk-in closet. I almost ripped the door off its hinges when I tore it open. No clothes, the shelves were empty and the hangers were hanging idly on the bar.
"Mom! Mom! Where did Bella go?" I screamed. I was beginning to feel sick in my stomach. I felt a slight tremor of puke rising up to my throat and I hurriedly wheeled in to the bathroom just in time to empty my stomach of its contents into the toilet bowl. I hacked and puked until I felt my stomach settle down and empty enough to guarantee that it was safe for me to part with the toilet bowl.
"Edward honey, were you drinking last night? You know, you can't mix alcohol and painkillers." My mom said quietly as she rubbed my back soothingly. She handed me a towel after I gurgled and splashed my face with water.
"Mom, not right now please. I want to know where Bella is and why you said she left." My voice sounded shaky, the thought of Bella not being around, despite her thorny attitude was something I wasn't ready for. I wanted her to be around. I needed her to be around.
God, I think I love the woman!
"When your dad and I woke up this morning, we found a letter on the kitchen table and it was from Bella. Hold on, let me get it so I can show you." My mom padded out of the room and I was left in a state of shock. I didn't expect Bella to leave. I didn't want her to leave.
After a few minutes, my mother came back in Bella's room just as I was emerging from the bathroom. I could still feel my stomach churning but I couldn't focus on anything but Bella. My mother handed me a piece of folded paper, her face laced with anxiety.
I read the letter several times, over and over. I felt angry tears stinging my eyes as I blinked them back, hoping not to unravel in the presence of my mother. What did Bella meant when she wrote,Please tell Edward that I felt the same way. He will know what I mean.
How did she know how I felt? If she knew, why would she leave? How was I supposed to know what she meant? Was I too much for her? That's why she left? The tears that were threatening to fall finally did and I wheeled myself out of Bella's room through blurry eyes.
I had to get out of here, but how far could I go? I've never felt so trapped in my life like I did at that moment. I slammed the door behind me and wheeled around the room in my wheelchair, since it was the closest I could get to pacing.
I stopped briefly and gripped my hair with both hands to keep my head from spinning. Not only did I have a mean hang-over but the reality that Bella left hit me like a ton of bricks. The thought that I might not see her everyday was unbearable.
As much as it constantly annoyed me when she was a loud mouth, it didn't mean that I was not enjoying our verbal sparring every single time. She was a spitfire who didn't mind yelling at me for any reason. It seemed like she didn't want give me a chance to feel sorry for myself, even if it were the last thing she could do.
What the fuck happened last night? Did I, in any way disrespect Bella? If I could only remember what happened. I dragged my fingers in my hair, trying to make myself remember.
"Fuck!" I hollered, not knowing what else to do. I came up empty trying to retrace my actions from the night before. All I remembered was drinking the scotch and listening to the music. Everything else was hazy. I must've passed out…and Bella would have been the one to help me. Could I have done something to her at that time? So many questions with no answers, and only Bella could give me an answer.
"Mom! Could you come down here please?" I used my cell phone to call my mother who was in their second floor bedroom.
Within a few minutes, my mother knocked on the door as I was wrestling with my jeans on top of my bed. Jeans were the most difficult piece of clothing to put on, it usually took me over 15 minutes and a bucketful of sweat to get into them.
"Mom, can you drive me? I want to look for Bella." I asked as I squirmed into my jeans making grunting noises in the process. The effort took so much from me and I was growing more frustrated by the minute.
"Sure son…. Do…you want me to help you?" My mother asked tentatively since she knew that I didn't take kindly to any offers of help.
"Please…. if you don't mind." I finally gave up. My headache wasn't helping at all. I could feel the steady throbbing in my temple and there was no sign that it would ease up anytime soon.
"Not at all. Why don't you lay flat on the bed, since it would be easier for me to get you into your jeans that way?
I did what I was told and sure enough, after a minute, she was fastening my button-fly.
"Thanks. Can we go now?" I asked while I transferred myself into my wheelchair. I hadn't been able to take a shower, the process would take too long and I didn't want to waste another goddamn minute.
"Do you have any idea where to find her?" If my mother had questions about my behavior or the reason behind Bella's letter and absence, she kept it to herself and I was thankful for that. Answering questions was the last thing in my mind.
"I don't. Um…check her application please. I am sure there will be an address in there somewhere. I will try her cell phone."
I dialed the number that Bella had given me to call her in case of any emergency. I was readily greeted by a disconnected number recording. I redialed thinking I may have gotten a wrong number but the same message played again.
"Fuck," I cussed under my breath and decided to wait for my mother by the front door.
In just a matter of minutes, my mother came with Bella's address written on a piece of paper. If I would make a guess, she must've left not too long ago, maybe within the last five to six hours.
"Let's go Edward," my mother said and started pushing my wheelchair to her car. I managed to get myself in her car without hurting myself and my mom folded my chair and stowed it in the car's compartment.
"Port Angeles, it's about 45 minutes from here," I said out loud. I couldn't think of anything but wanting to get Bella back, to find out why she left so suddenly and what did she meant by 'feeling the same way'.
We drove in silence…with my mother constantly glancing in my direction. I kept a straight face when all I wanted to do was shout and scream in frustration. The steady pounding in my head didn't help my mood either. My mood seemed to darken by the minute.
I've never felt this way towards any woman. Bella, I was sure wouldn't know because I've kept it hidden. I didn't want her to feel pity that a crippled man was in love with her. I didn't welcome the idea of being a recipient of her pity.
I wasn't ready to let her go. I wanted to be with her more than anything. It came very close to my desire to walk again. That was how much I felt for her. Emmett saw it and told me. He knew I've fallen for Bella, hard!
We reached Port Angeles and found her place right away. She was renting a room from an elderly couple she had mentioned in one of our rare conversations which didn't involve getting onto each other's nerves.
My mom hurriedly took out my wheelchair from the car and helped me get situated in my wheelchair. We followed the little cobbled path to the front door but the few steps stopped me in my tracks. I had to wait for my mother where the steps were while she bounded up the stairs straight to the door. She rang the doorbell and checked on me. If she thought I was going to disappear then she was sadly mistaken. Nothing could make me leave now. I wasn't going anywhere. I couldn't.
An elderly woman answered the door and peered at my mother then at me. I knew that my mother could charm the information from her. I waited while they talked. I could see my mother's expression from where I was sitting, her shoulders sagged and I had a pretty good idea what it meant.
After a few minutes, she returned to me with a sad look in her face. "Edward, Mrs. Stewart said that Bella had left not long ago, taking all her belongings which is mainly her clothes. She has no idea where Bella is headed. She didn't tell Mrs. Stewart where she was going and what her plans were."
I must've have broken down in front of my mother because the next thing I knew, she was holding me in her arms while my frustrations finally caught up with me in form of tears. I was a confirmed pansy. Tears seemed to be making a regular appearance in my life.
"Let's go home, Edward." My mother said as she pushed me back to the car. Suddenly, I had no strength to wheel myself. I couldn't move. I want Bella back. Just the way it used to be.
How do we find someone who didn't want to be found? We returned home and the next several days were the toughest. I missed Bella immensely and found myself ready to give anything to have her back. The woman who was her replacement was efficient enough but she didn't have Bella's spunk, Bella's mouth. She wasn't Bella period.
Fuck my life!
A/N: This is kinda short, just to show everyone what happened to Edward the next day when he awaken to find out that Bella had left. The next chapter will have a different tone. No more depressedWard. He decided to take over his misery and do something about it. I am sure you guys are interested in finding out how he turned out after Bella left him. Stay tuned and find out soon. Pimp the story out if you can. Thanks for reading. Please leave me some love.