Disclaimer: I don't own Castle…
Authors Note: This chapter is from Beckett's POV.
We were sitting on the couch in his loft.
Alexis was at pages for the weekend and Martha was performing on Broadway. I was sitting beside him, my hand rubbing occasional circles on his back. He looked at me and broke down crying again and I was starting to wonder if I could help him at all.
Maybe I should call Alexis.
Maybe he needed her.
When he raised his head and looked at me, I could see the pain in his eyes. I pulled him into my arms and held him. He buried his head in my shoulder and mumbled; "I love you, Kate."
I froze when he caught me off guard, and by the way he looked up at me again, himself too. I could feel my breathing getting shallow and my heart starting to race. I looked down at him to see that he was staring at me.
Did he mean it?
"I know." I replied. "In a partner kind of way."
Stupid comment, Kate! I mentally beat myself up.
"No." He replied. His eyes soft and warm. "I love you, Kate. I am in love with you."
He placed both of his hands on each side of my head and pulled my face to his. I melted to him when I felt his soft, warm lips on mine. The taste was so comforting and familiar.
Unlike the night in the parking lot.
Not like the one earlier on today.
That was when I realized.
I loved him.
I had fallen in love with Richard Castle.
I pulled back and looked into his eyes before saying; "What about your new supermodel girlfriend. Emma?"
"She's not the one. She is not the one I want a future with. I love her, yeah. But, not like I love you Kate."
Silence.
"Rick?"
"Yeah?" His voice broke, and I was sure that he felt like I was going to reject him. He looked sad; I could tell he was trying to distance himself.
"I love you, too." It rushed out of my mouth, I couldn't hold it back. His eyes went from staring almost through me and sharpened his gaze on mine once more, as he realized what I said. I sat there, looking at him while I thought about all of the times we got so close.
That was when I made my decision.
I practically knocked him over when I let my lips collide with his. He was shocked and it took him a few seconds to respond in the same passion that I had. Our tongues dueled as we both fought for control. I pulled back when I felt the overwhelming need to breath.
He trailed kisses down my jaw and my throat.
"Castle." I moaned. "We can't…"
"Oh, so it's Castle now." He said, stopping briefly to reply then continued. "I know this feels like I am cheating on my girlfriend with you." He paused. "But this, this doesn't feel like cheating. Being with her feels like I am cheating on you."
"Castle." I said sternly. Regretting what I was going to say next. "We have to stop."
He nodded and pulled back.
It was silent between us, and I felt bad for shooting him down.
"It's getting late." I told him, motioning to the clock when I realized that it was almost eleven thirty. "You should go to bed."
He gave me a smug smile before saying; "I was hoping that my intentions were clear."
"Crystal." I replied. "I was just checking"
He helped me up and we walked upstairs hand in hand. When we reached his room, he went into his closet and got me a shirt and a pair of boxers. I removed my stilettos before putting them on. It nearly swallowed me whole, but it was way more comfortable than was I was wearing before.
I watched as he shed himself of his clothing.
I smiled when I saw what I did to him as I climbed into his bed.
He climbed into bed next to me and laid on his side facing me. The sight of him bare-chested was very tempting, especially since I knew that we would soon be together.
I took a deep breath.
The smell of his pillow had a scent. A familiar scent enveloping me, it was unique and totally him.
I reached up to him and pulled him down to me. I kissed him and held onto him and said; "We'll get through this… We'll get through this together."
Then, we both fell into a deep sleep while holding each other close.