The Light of My Life

Chapter 2—The Drizzle Before the Storm

A/N: Apologies for the previous depressing chapter. Things will definitely lighten up, I swear. Haha, sorry. If you don't know already, I'm one of those very mean authors that like to make their characters (and maybe readers) very miserable, but for certain reasons of course. ;) Oh, and before you get on with the story, I actually got a Tumblr recently so feel free to follow, ask, etc. in addition to this site! The link to my blog is on my profile. :)

It's like everything is collapsing around me. My whole world is closing in. It feels claustrophobic.

Or so that's what it feels like.

I shut the door of my father's hospital room quietly to avoid disturbing him in his sleep. As I do so, I cross my arms as I limply walk through the hallways, trying to tune out the sounds of the other doctors, nurses, patients, and visitors. I only hear the steps of my feet as I pass through.

I sigh a relief when I reach the elevator, seeing as it's empty and pressing the button to get back down to the hospital lobby. Soft elevator music plays as I descend floor by floor to the lobby. In the reflection of the doors, I see myself frazzled looking as ever: puffy red eyes, untidy hair, heavy breathing. Thankfully, the elevator doesn't stop to let in other guests.

All I could want right now is to go home. As much as I want to stay with my dad in the hospital all the time, I also need some time to just be by myself.

Once the elevator doors ding open, I know Austin is waiting for me in the lobby. Despite me telling him earlier that it was okay to go home, he wouldn't budge. I guess I appreciated the fact, but he didn't have to stay. But now that I think about it, having him drive me home would be a lot better than calling a taxi. With him, sometimes I don't have to say a word. He just knows.

I see Austin rise from his seat when he sees me enter the lobby. There's a look of concern on his face and there's a bit of worry in his step as he walks toward me.

Immediately, I wrap my arms around him and vice versa. I don't know why, but any time that he hugs me it gives me comfort even in a situation like this. I always feel just a little better, even if it's just a little.

He opens his mouth to say something, but then closes it. Austin just nods, already knowing that we could talk sometime later. Right now, I just want to go home.

Outside when we're walking to his red Ferrari, I notice that it's a little cloudy. It's not so cloudy that it gives off a gloomy mood, but there a few clouds that cover the sun from fully shining. Austin opens up the front passenger door for me, and I get in.

We begin to drive away from the hospital so that he can take me home. Every time I leave the hospital, though, I get this sick feeling inside that makes me anxious of the fact of how Dad will be the next time I visit him. I know the doctor said he has four weeks, but I still can't help but just wonder of how something could go wrong. Is it wrong for me to worry this much? Am I dwelling too much on this true pain I have?

The car ride is silent. It's a weird sort of comfortable silent, however. As Austin is driving, I look out the window, noticing my reflection in the side mirror. I don't appear as drained as I did when I looked at myself in the hospital elevator, but I still feel shattered on the inside. It's all just been so much.

"Thanks for shopping at Sonic Boom!" Austin gazed over at me and smiled. I was able to tell easily that he was exhausted after a busy day of work. Seriously, the boy works here at Sonic Boom, at Moon Mattress Kingdom, and still makes time to go to school. I don't know how he does it.

Austin took a deep breath and came to sit next to me. "Man, I'm beat," he said.

"I can tell." Up close I was able to see the bags under his eyes and an odd paleness in his skin, but still he kept his head up and grinned like nothing was wrong. "You need anything?"

"I'm okay. Want to go grab some ice cream?"

"Boardwalk ice cream?" I asked with a smile. The ice cream that was sold at the nearby boardwalk was the absolute best. And that included their fruity mint swirl ice cream, too.

"Boardwalk ice cream," Austin replied with a grin.

I got up from where I was standing, with my fists half raised in the air. "Okay, now I'm excited."

Austin laughed at that. "All right, all right, just let me finish up closing up shop first."

"Oh, okay! Let me help you!" I had no idea what had suddenly gotten into me. I rushed to start putting some of the extra inventory away behind the counter while Austin began to lock up.

It wasn't too long before I finished cleaning up the majority of the shop with Austin helping here and there. It was odd to think that I didn't work at Sonic Boom and now Austin knew the entire store's inventory like I once did.

"Okay, we're done!" I exclaimed at the blonde. "Come on, Austin, let's go!" No, I seriously had no idea what had gotten into me. I didn't think that the mere thought of boardwalk ice cream would get me so hyped up.

Unfortunately, Austin yelled back, "Ally, wait! Let me change out of this first!"

I sighed. "Okay, okay, fine, fine. Maybe I'm a little too excited..."

He gave me a look, raising an eyebrow. "Ya think?"

I brushed off his comment, shoving him playfully toward the office where his stuff was located. "Just go change out of uniform."

Austin smiled at me as he went to go retrieve his change of clothes. I really had to give him props for doing his best at work and at school. He'd told me about how things went down with his former music career. I could tell by the tone of his voice that he missed performing, but with everything he'd been busy with, I wasn't really sure if he still dwelled on the absence of music in his life.

"Hey, Ally?" Austin calls out in the middle of my thoughts.

I look beside me, seeing a neutral expression on his face. "Yeah?"

"We're, uh, here," gesturing to the house in front of us. Right. My house.

"Oh. Yeah." I nodded to him, opening up the car door. "Thanks."

I begin to step out of the car, but pause. And then I step back into the car, staring at my feet. He doesn't say anything until I do.

"Austin?"

"Yeah, Ally?"

I bite my lip before saying, "Do you want to come in for a little bit?" I must be crazy. Just earlier I wanted to be by myself at home. Now that I'm at home, I don't want to be alone. I want someone with me.

But still he gives me a small grin. "Okay."

That's when it begins to rain. One little drop turns into many, but we waste no time to get inside in order to avoid getting soaked.

Once we're inside, I ask him, "Do you want anything? Snacks? Drinks?"

Simply, Austin shakes his head. "No thanks, I'm good."

We plop ourselves on the couch, and a newfound silence rises in the atmosphere. I don't know how long we end up sitting there for, but it seems to last ages.

"Here you go, milady," Austin hands me the cup of boardwalk ice cream. "Fruity mint swirl, the usual."

"Thanks," I mumble as I nearly shove a spoonful of the frozen goodness into my mouth. "I still can't believe you remembered my favorite flavor after all this time."

Austin licked his lips as he ate his cookie dough boardwalk ice cream, which was his favorite flavor. "How could I forget? Every time we went out for ice cream, you'd yell out 'Fruity mint swirl!'"

I laughed at that, knowing how true that was. "It's not as loud as you shouting 'Pancakes, pancakes!' when we go get breakfast though. How do you have that much energy in the morning? I'm the one that's a morning person and I don't even get that excited most of the time."

"Maybe not pancakes because I am the Pancake King after all." I chuckled. "But you are always excited in the mornings! You walked into Sonic Boom one day and got all jumpy about our new bar chimes."

"I think I have every right to be excited about prettier sounding bar chimes."

"What, they didn't sound pretty before?"

"That's not what I said!" I nudged his arm lightheartedly.

Austin mocked my voice, "That's not what I said," in the best high pitched voice he could, but to every failing bid.

"Hey!"

"Hey!" He mocked again.

"I do not talk like that, come on!"

And again, "I do not talk like that, come on!"

I sighed.

He tried to sigh in the same way.

"You are absolutely ridiculous."

"You are absolutely ridiculous."

"Austin, come on."

"Ally, come on." And then he made the effort to start twirling his fingers around in his blonde hair.

I rolled my eyes at him, before feeling my phone vibrate in my pocket, answering it without looking at the caller ID. "Hello?" I answered.

"Miss Dawson? It's Doctor Grant. I'm calling about your father, Lester Dawson."

And just like that, my stomach sank lower than I ever thought it could, the cheerful mood crumbling to pieces.

I decide to finally break the silence. "Austin?"

"Mm-hmm?"

"Thanks." I look at him appreciatively, but he gives me a confused look back.

"For what?" He asks.

"For...staying here. Taking me to the hospital. Taking me home."

He nods sympathetically. "It's what I'm here for." He puts a hand on my knee in an attempt to give me more comfort. "Are you going to be okay by yourself here? You're welcome at my place anytime."

I nod. "Yeah. I want to stay here. But just in case—"

"Just call me, okay?"

"Okay."

Austin checks the time on his phone, saying, "Hey, I got to get going. I'll see you tomorrow at the store?"

"Yeah, I'll see you tomorrow."

He waves a quick goodbye as he heads outside to his car where it's still raining. It isn't much, just a drizzle. I prop my elbow up on the couch with the side of my head resting in my hand, staring out at the front lawn of the house.

Little drops of rain continue to drip down the glass window, watching several of them "race" against each other down until they reach the bottom at the sill. In a way, it feels serene. And for a moment, I do feel serene. The drops of rain plopping down on the window and all around the other windows in Miami. All of these rain drops racing down to the bottoms of sills on the glassy track.

After a while, I get up from the couch and go up to my old room. I've been too lazy to unpack everything since I came to Miami. My luggage sits zipped opened with bunches of folded clothes no longer organized as they were when I left New York. The bed was left unmade with pillows on the floor and the covers are all out of place. Sheets of piano music lay scattered on my desk, numerous amounts of songs jumbled into one mess.

Ignoring the entire mess called my room, I lie on my bed, looking up at the ceiling. Sometimes I wish I had some kind of sky light in my room so that I would always be able to cloud watch while relaxing in bed. That would be nice, wouldn't it?

But unfortunately, not everything that happens is going to be considered nice.

I turn to my side, desiring a need for sleep. I'm not tired more than I was upset, but I do feel that I could just escape everything for a while, even if it would only be for a standard eight hours.

In honesty, all I really want in the world, more than anything, is for everything to be okay. I still feel hurt inside. But I just want to be able to believe everything will be all right. That's all I think about as I fall asleep.