A/N: Thank you all for reviewing! I'm sorry if it took so long for me to update but I was really unsure how I should proceed! It took me a long to decide how I was going to go about this, and I decided that I just couldn't spontaneously change movie Rogue into comic book/evo rogue. So instead I'm going to give her a little journey to find herself…

Oh! And yes this is rated M, for possible sex scenes, VULGARITY, and other stuff that's entirely inappropriate for anyone and everyone! This is the last warning I'm giving about this (though if anything gets really sexy I'll warn beforehand for the squeamish and modest among y'.)

This is probably going to be a really LONG chapter. I'm compacting about a year or so into this…

Please R/R and thanks for the support.


Chapter One

Naïve

"Things don't always go as plan, but you'll always
get where you need to go, even if it isn't where you want to go.
I realize that now."

.rogue.

Leaving the Institute was for the best.

I realize that now.

At the time I had been unsure and indecisive about what I was going to do, and then I realized that I only had one option: control.

It was my resolution, the remaining driving force of my life and I found myself desperate to achieve it.

I spent three days in a dingy hotel outside of Bayville, contemplating how I was going to attain that goal. I knew Xavier was probably aware of where I was, and that knowledge, at the time, did not bother me. I knew he would respect my need for distance.

On the second day of my stay; I turned on the meager television set and watched channels flicker before my eyes as I clicked the remote. I was using the money I had received from Xavier to pay for the rent, and though with the amount he had given me I could have stayed in a more well of hotel, I didn't know how long I would be out on my own.

As I flicked through the channels, a familiar pale, red haired face snagged my roaming attention, and I stopped to listen as the picture disappeared and the dark skinned reporter spoke.

"McTaggart's research of the Mutant-X gene has given the scientific community a novel and clearer understanding of mutant kind. However, many protestors in Ireland believe that her harboring of mutants and experiments are extremely unethical and dangerous. The F.O.H, Friends of Humanity, have been picketing outside the walls of her laboratory for three days after her last article in the Scientific American, which stated-"

I was transfixed. McTaggart…I had heard McCoy and Xavier speak of her before. McCoy had been extremely enthusiastic about her work, and Xavier had been less sober than usual when he spoke of her, an almost affectionate tone had reached his voice.

McTaggart, Ireland.

I had a new destination. I was assured with the optimistic mentality of the fairly naïve that she would be my salvation.

Things never go as planned; I was starting to realize that now. It took the last of Xavier's monetary assistance to get to Ireland and pay for a hotel room close to her laboratory.

I could have easily called Xavier and asked for more money, but I was furious with the idea. This was something I had to do. I wanted independence, and my pride was ushering me to learn how to survive, to attain my goal without the need for opulent surroundings and deep pockets.

Before Wolverine had picked me up, I was fully capable of taking care of myself.

Why would I not be able to achieve that now?

Of course I vaguely understood that this was entirely different. I had no money; I was in a different country surrounded by new sights and ideologies. I had no idea what I was doing. But I was assured I would find what I was looking for.

Ireland was new to me. For one, I didn't believe I had ever seen such green grass before, and the water was beautiful, the overhanging bridges were works of art.

I stopped now and then to sketch the bridges, to try and capture the beauty of the small, narrow streets of Dublin with oil pastels, and the charming mixture of red, green and yellow colors and shades that made the city come alive.

I spent two days in Dublin, until I was able to obtain an appointment with McTaggart. Dressing hurriedly in long gloves, jeans, a long sleeved ballpark shirt, scarf and cap, I was ready to push through the throng of mutants and protestors alike to be received into the wide gates of her laboratory.

McTaggart herself was a pale woman, with dark green eyes, bright red hair and a small trace of freckles across the bridge of her nose. She was dressed in a lab coat when I entered, her eyes were intent, and her hands were moving across the keyboard of a large mainframe computer, she mumbled to herself as she moved.

"McTaggart?"

She didn't notice me at first; she was too engrossed in the work before her.

"The DNA and RNA were completely off. It's as if the entire gene is a mutation of replication and-"

"Ms. McTaggart?" I called again loudly and shuffled backwards timidly as she finally looked up at me.

At first there was a moment of pure confusion and then sympathy as she bounded forward. She walked slowly but with energy in each step.

"Yesh? Something you need?" She asked in a heavy Irish accent.

"My-my name's Rogue. Ah, Ah wanted t' talk to y' b'fore."

"Oh yes! Rogue! If it's housing that you require I have plenty of room left-" She said absentmindedly.

"No. It's just-m' powers. You're the scientist with all the answers 'bout the mutant gene, and Ah thought…maybe y' could help me."


OOO OO OOO

Things don't always go as plan, but you'll always get where you need to go, even if it isn't where you want to go.

I realize that now.

McTaggart had offered residence for me if I needed it, and money, but I refused to accept either.

I was utterly disappointed when she told me she was incapable of a cure for the mutant gene, and I hardly listened to her explanations.

"It's like me trying to cut off the gene that makes my hair red. Even if I could, who knows what else would inadvertently be affected? What color could my hair be, genetically, other than red?" She stressed.

She did, however refer me to a scientist by the name of Raskalnikov, who was, at the present moment, trying to discover the "cure" for the mutant gene. I did accept the plane ticket she gave me to Germany, but nothing more.

On the plane ride I was rightly apprehensive.

What would I do when I got there?

How was I going to be able to find him?

McTaggart had tried to dissuade me from going.

"It's a dangerous journey for a girl. So far away, without any money or understanding of the language! It's not a good idea."

Once again my obstinacy prevailed my common sense.

I only had one luggage of suitcase. When I reached Moscow I sold several pieces of jewelry for the currency I needed for a hotel room. I would find Raskalnikov in the morning, or so I believed.

That morning I didn't know how I was going to survive without the knowledge of the indigenous language. The language barrier had never really occurred to me at first, and it was probing more of a problem than finding Raskalnikov. Though some of the people I met were capable of speaking English, they were either unwilling or incapable of giving me the information I sought.

In a week of trying to learn German I grew desperate, and one day, without premeditation, I slipped my gloves gingerly off my fingers. A passerby stumbled slightly as I brushed my hands against his exposed skin, just enough to get what I wanted.

The dark haired man gave me a surprised look before running off into the darkness.

"Yeah that's right," I said after him in perfect German, a bitter smile crossing my face, "I am a monster."

I bustled up to my room, shaking away the remnants of his memory and cursing in German as I slid the key to my room.

Cold air came to greet me; I didn't even bother to take off my layers of clothing. The only thing about my situation I was enjoying was the ability to wear so much clothing without seeming conspicuous.

From the newspaper I bought earlier, I gathered all the information I needed about Raskalnikov, and learned that everything I had done was for naught.

He was dead, for almost more than two weeks.

I laughed when I read it. I had such bad luck from the beginning, with my life, with Cody, with my powers.

How did I expect to find any leeway?

The F.O.H had been protesting against his search for the "cure", and in an uprising of anger a tremendous mob had flooded the streets and burned down his apartment building with him in it.

I felt a wave of fear and a dark growing pain pulse in my chest.

It was in that moment, for the first time in my live that I realized I was screwed.

Really screwed.

I couldn't stop laughing, even as the tears came.

My psyches were acting up, probably do to my apprehension.

Three weeks had gone and left, and I was out of things to sell. My hotel was about to become too expensive for me to keep, thought it was the cheapest I could find. My expert understanding of the German language had left three days after I had acquired it, and I was plagued too much by moral qualms to do it again.

You should have taken more money. This insensible idea will only get you so far if you're not willing to do what's necessary,Magneto's psyche was whispering between my ears.

Call Xavier, kid. He'll send you some money and you can go back to New York. Wolverine.

You tried, Rogue. But let's face it, how're you going to survive on your own on the streets? Bobby.

I've done it before. John.

I clutched my throbbing head and gritted my teeth together. I wanted to pull their memories from out of my skull. I wanted their voices and personalities gone.

SHUT UP! NOW!

There was silence as I allowed myself to fall onto the rigid bed.

If you're going to try and stay alive, Rogue. You're going to need to learn how, Magneto spoke up cautiously.

I tried to ignore him.

Use your powers. That's why you have them. You could get by if you'd only try to-

Shut up, Magneto!

I jumped up and began to pace, something I knew I must have acquired from one of my many personalities.

"Ah don' want t' hurt people."

This isn't about hurting people, Rogue. YOU were the one who refused to be helped by those who have freely given it. Magneto.

"Ah jus' wanted t' do something fo' m'self fo' once!" I argued.

Admirable, but stupid if you're not willing to pay for that independence. YOU were the one who was stubborn enough to want to find the answers alone. You got yourself into this idiotic and nonsensical situation and you're going to have to get yourself out of it!

"Not if it means Ah gotta hurt people."

You're a fool! This about survival! If you're not going to crawl back to Xavier than you need to learn how to get by! This isn't about hurting people! This is about living! And you know what you have to do!

I felt like a child being scolded. I knew what he meant, using my abilities in order to support myself. But I was afraid of opening that door. If I started using my powers for self-gain, did that make me anymore like Magneto?

You've been around Xavier too long, A new voice interceded, and I realized with some surprise that it was Mystique.

I don't remember absorbing you. I told her, and I could feel her slow smile.

It was a long time ago. When you were smaller.

I never had my abilities when I was smaller. Wait-you knew me back then?

There was a sad chuckle.

More than you know. But that's for another time, right now; you need to survive my dear. Forget about what Xavier has taught you. If you don't do this for yourself, you'll never have control over your abilities….

That was what changed my mind.

Control.

It's time to stop fearing your power, and accept them. Magneto.

OOO OO OOO

I was no more than a common thief of mind and soul.

I learned German by periodic absorption of those I met in the street. I learned, over time, how to erase their memories and psyches from my mind, and eventually how to absorb only what I wanted from their minds.

Sometimes, when the goings got rough, I resorted to stealing. It was easy enough. I didn't know the rudimentary understandings of theft, so instead I pressed my exposed flesh to theirs, blocking their psyches from entering and knocking them unconscious and vulnerable.

I searched them for whatever I could find, use or sell.

It took a toll on me at first. I was tossed into turmoil. How would Xavier think of me? What would Logan think?

Does it matter? Mystique would say, and I would agree that it really didn't.

I was kicked out of my hotel eventually, and I became a vagabond of the streets. I stole my clothes, I slept under park bench when it wasn't snowing, and in homeless shelters when it was. My food came from various sources, usually stolen, sometimes paid for.

John was a great assistance, and was giving me tips every day about how to survive.

Always keep a knife close to you when you're sleeping on the streets.

I was a little perturbed by the idea of a weapon, but the psyches inside my head assured me it was entirely necessary. I actually bought my first one, even though stealing had become a second nature. It was nothing more than a small blade that I kept hidden under my layers of clothing, but it did the trick.

I eventually got a job working at a bar. The pay was shit, but enough to keep me eating and sleeping underneath a roof, and the owner, Heinschkel, never asked about the legality of my being there in more ways than just age.

After six months of hell I had become use to my new life, and had learned to control my powers considerably. While I was still incapable of touch, I was able to change the rate of the absorption only slightly, and what I absorbed was entirely under my control.

Nevertheless, I was planning to leave eventually.

Probably to China or Tibet.

China had a psychological research program on mutants that I was looking forward to seeing, and Tibet was known for its plethora of methodology for controlling mutant powers through meditation.

I wanted to learn more about my abilities. But first I needed more cash. I was planning on hitchhiking and stowing away on trains as much as possible. I didn't have nearly enough money to get anywhere legally.

One Friday night I was cleaning up the bar, piling plates on top of my platter and washing off tables.

One of the regulars, Dvorak, lumbered in around closing time, his dark eyes were intent, and his speech was slurred-apparently he was drunk.

"Dvorak," I said evenly as I wiped my hands on my apron.

"We're closed." I motioned towards the empty bar and he nodded stupidly.

"I can see that," He said in clumsy German and ran into one of the tables.

"You need to leave." I snapped and began wiping another table.

He looked at me appreciatively, his black eyes roaming my body without discretion. Licking his lips he walked forward until he was a few feet away from me. I stopped and tensed as his hand played with a strand of my hair. His breath was polluted with beer.

"You're a pretty little thing. About how old are you?" He asked.

I wrenched away, slapping his hand away from me.

"Leave now." I said angrily.

"You're an American girl. I can tell. Never fucked an American girl before." He said and his hand trailed across my collarbone.

I was extremely repulsed and Mystique's psyche was stirring with an uncontrollable force.

"No? I bet you've fucked a boy though," I spat.

"You should learn some respect!" He grumbled and grabbed my wrist.

"I will when I come face to face with someone who deserves it,"

Something snapped. Wolverine's rage, or maybe Mystique's, or maybe mine, but I was through with this.

I removed my gloves, slowly before his eyes. He seemed amused by the gesture because he said and did nothing as he watched. I let them drop the ground and then my hand curled around the hand holding my wrist.

I concentrated and pulled hard. I had never wanted to intentionally hurt someone like this before, and when he screamed, the veins pulsing against his skin with a violence and pale coloring I had never seen before, there was a foreign glee that rose from his pain.

I kneed him in the gut and grabbed his shoulders. I propelled myself up and kicked him in the middle of his back. He cried out and fell forward over one of the tables. His hand flew out to try and catch me but I kicked him in the throat, sending him spiraling forward as he tried to suck in air.

I was using a variety of Wolverine and Mystique's techniques. They came to me as if I had been trained to use them all my life.

He elbowed me in the stomach and then kicked out, screaming "fucking mutie" in German at the top of his lungs. I growled and something pressed against my knuckles and then pushed violently out, the blood splattered against the floor.

They were three claws between my knuckles, like Wolverine's, except these were made of glistening bone drenched in my blood. (1)

I think I must have terrified him because he jumped up and began to run clumsily. I caught him easily, throwing him into a wall and pushing my claws through his shoulder without wincing. The bloodlust I was suddenly experiencing was not mine, neither were the heightened senses that smelled the copper tinge of his blood.

"Listen here, bub," I said, half in English, half in German, "You shouldn't treat a lady lahke that. She can get a little testy. Get me?"

I slammed my elbow into his face, and the nose made a distinct crack as he fell.

I withdrew the claws, wincing at the pain. Around me was a disarray of overturned tables, chairs and shattered objects, utter chaos incarnated. I knew that if I stayed any longer, not only would the damage be taken out of my cash, but I was going to have an anti-mutant mob on my hands.

I didn't need the sort of heat I knew I would get.

That night I sold my things and left to Tibet.

OOO OO OOO

(1) The idea about the bones coming out of her hands instead of adamantium was taken from a comic book where all the adamantium in Wolverine was taken out (I think by Magneto), and he began using his bones like claws instead.

Alrighty then! Rogue's going to be doing a little bit of traveling! But I'm not gonna write about all of it! (Unless you request it-then maybe if I feel like it.) But thank you everyone for reading and please review!

Tanydwr: Thanx for the support. I like cartoon Rogue too. So I was thinking I could do a little meshing and put them together!

sheisbeautiful-sheisnotme: I know what you mean. They just don't seem like a lasting relationship. I haven't really decided what shipper is going to come out of this (and even if I do get Rogue together with someone, it doesn't mean they won't break up later.) So keep your eyes open!

DarkAngelmi818: And so I will! My brain gets a little dizzy some times from all the work I dish out, but eventually it'll be worth it. :P

Reanne1102: I know. There really didn't seem to be that much chemistry between them. It was all…blah. Anyway! I want Rogue to have that spunk we all know and love!

Reanne

Silent Murderess: Thank you for the review! Please give more and sugar will be given. (Electronically)

Jen: Heh, I'm getting a lot of I HATE MOVIE ROGUE. It's almost like a club really. Thanks for the review. And yeah, Rogue's going out to find herself! I do wonder who she'll find. Evil cackle.

Jen: Thankie for the reviewie!

oracale: Yeah! You reviewed! Thank you!

emma134: Another I hate movie, I'm starting to see a pattern here…thanx

Anonymous Person: Mysterious aren't you? But still thanx forthe review! And for reading it! These reviews show me how many people are interested and whether I should continue or not.

aiecafaitmal: Indeed. I'm going to have to bully the yellow belly out of her.

lildevil0644: Thank you. I really was trying to make this seem like it could happen in an Xmen movie. Centered around Rogue of course.

Chica De Los Ojos Café: Remy might make an appearance. I haven't decided if it's going to be a Romy shipper or something else yet….

Chica: Yup. Rogue snapping is extremely likeable. Thanks for the input. If I were to put the whole Phoenix saga in here, it would probably be almost entirely comic book based, which makes it extremely complicated. The X3 version was wacko.

Inferno: don't worry. I don't like the cheat and then get back together thing. I HATE it actually. So you don't have to worry about that. Though Bobby drooling over his ex is a lovely possibility. Especially if he's tortured by it. Mwahahahaha!