Dabbling in Drabbles
A Definite No
No.
Him? Marrying Helga G. Pataki? Helga the Horrible? Helga his Personal Tormentor?
No.
Of all the people for that marriage predictor to come to… and 110 times in a row! WHY oh WHY did fate hate him so?
The idea wasn't even just repulsive. It was… ridiculous! Disgusting! The most hilariously STUPID idea that had ever been presented to him! Why, if Helga had heard, she'd probably have full on upchucked! Yes, he thought near hysterically, she would have just completely barfed up her guts, just like he was suddenly feeling like doing… Oh, he was sick. He felt like he'd been hit in the stomach.
He was utterly against it. Just… NO! Haha, him and Helga? PFFT! As if that would ever happen! Did he mention no? Because, haha, he meant it!
NO!
He woke up in a start, breathing heavily for possibly the eighth time tonight. Oh, no, it just couldn't be… He'd told Gerald no at least fifty times on the way back home, chanted "I'm not going to marry Helga" the entire way feverishly, and growled whenever anyone asked him how he was doing. Gerald had looked just plain freaked out by the entire thing. Of course he would have expected his best friend to be a bit repulsed by it, but he'd been acting like a total nutcase ever since he'd been told he was to be wed to Helga G. Pataki.
A-And for good reason of course! HAHAHAHAHAHA!
Because, ugh, come on! Helga and him? Together? Married? In l-lo… l-l-lov… that word! PFFT, of course not! Just… just stupid! So stupid! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
'So why is your heart racing?' that stupid voice at the back of his head he always ignored whispered.
NO! It wasn't racing! It was just all that overwhelming repulsion from his dream coursing through him of course! He fell back onto the bed, eyes wide and despairing.
'So why are you so drenched in sweat?' it whispered again.
HA! The dream again, of course! Doi-DUH! YES! DUH! MUCH BETTER THAN THAT OTHER THING HE ALMOST THOUGHT! HAHAHAHAHAHA!
'Well then why are you smiling?'
SMILING? WHAT? He frowned as hard as he could possibly manage, closing his eyes. He was just smiling because of how WRONG he knew that voice was, of course! Trying to imply such idiotically stupid… stupid things! HAHA! OF COURSE!
'Fine then, Smart guy… Why are you acting like a total lunatic? Why can't you just dismiss it as rubbish and leave it at that? Why are you SO hung up on the idea? If you really don't think it was possible for the two of you to fall in love and get married, then why are you laying here at three AM in the morning, trying to convince yourself that you could never love Helga?'
BECAUSE… because… 'cause…
He huffed out in defeat, pulling his blanket up over his head. "Shut up, Subconscious."
'I'm just saying…'