Brom—
Day one
Have seen extremely pretty boy staing at me. Makes me feel attractive. If only his nancing uncle would leave him alone.
Day two
Have a strong Suspicion that pretty boy is a Dragon rider. Brotherly-love abundant. Have yet to see his dragon. Am going to make my way to his house to demand he be alone with me/trained.
Day Three
Boy has come to visit me. I slam him up against wall, and try to ascertain whether or not he likes me for me. Then inform him of Dragon riders, and useless plot twists. Nancing Uncle has picked a fight over who gets to spend the most alone time with Pretty Boy (whose name is Eragon…). Stormed off, after uncle made bad sword-sheath analogy. Muttering under breath may have sadly alerted creepy-bug-men to Eragon's presence. Must go back to house. Maybe Nancing uncle will see reason.
Later
Nancing Uncle has not seen reason. Is V. dead. Eragon is now all mine. To train… I mean. He's awfully pretty, but the leather does make his rear look quite big. But still delectable.
Day four
Have requested to see his dragon. Apparently he did not get the hint, and pulled the wrong one out. Oh well. There's always tomorrow. Or not… Afraid Dragon might kill me if I try anything.
Day six
Must actually train Eragon. Am slightly miffed that he is such a ponce. Worrying about his fingernails. But he is really pretty…Went into town to get some surprise blue nail polish for Eragon. Dragon is not around, so a little fun can currently ensue. Was attacked by ugly things. Nail polish lost in the shuffle. Drat. Eragon performed magic. Slightly jealous.
I hope he doesn't notice his pants…
Day Seven
Apparently Eragon is having dreams about a Hippie Elf Chick. I assume it's Arya, she has absolutely no fashion sense. Doesn't she know that suede makes her skin look awfully blotchy? And her hair is rather limp… Why is Eragon having dreams about her? I bought him a pony, dammnit! Told Eragon that leather made his rear look extremely large. He got all poncy and nanced away. Suspect he is informing dragon of my transgressions. Must sleep with one V. open eye.
Day eight
Have noticed Eragon getting all antsy. Suspect he is planning to sneak off with dragon. Luckily she cannot breathe fire yet. But hand is still smarting from when I tried to help Eragon onto his horse. Bloody lizard.
Later
Suspicion confirmed. Eragon has snuck off with my most recent Cosmopolitan magazine to save Arya. Drat. Was going to check my horoscope. But hopefully she will realize brown suede looks horrible on her. And that free shampoo sample might liven up her hair… Have decided to follow them. Will let Eragon know that relationship needs smoothing out. Hopefully dragon will not interrupt.
Day Nine
Am Dying. Am V. miffed. Took spear in chest for Eragon after Durza took my comment about his sliminess to the next level. Feel heartbeat slowing. Dragon gave me a lovely ride, and told me that I wasn't so bad, now that I was too weak to try anything.
Bloody-poncy-lizard.