Wow. I'm still speechless. Your kind reviews and the sheer multitude of them literally blew me away, I never imagined such a good reception of this fic. I'm glad ya'll like it and because you were so kind and reviewed, I'm giving you a new part already today.

I hope this update justifies your hopes, in the old version I had Harm really lay it in on Mac. I've grown up a lot as a writer since then, so while Harm still gets his point across that he's not really happy with her, he's doing it in a more civilized manner. Still, he's making a break and not letting Mac any chance to ruin his future happiness.

Please let me know what you think of this part.

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CHAPTER 2

"Why the hell didn't you tell me you were being promoted and transferred? Who the hell do you think you are, that you can just up and leave? You promised me that you will always be there for me. Why am I not surprised? You are a coward and a liar, what happened to always keeping your promises?" she starts screaming and accusing as soon as she enters my little cubbyhole.

The tirade goes on for another minute until I have enough.

"First of all, Lieutenant Colonel MacKenzie." As I say this Mac glares angrily at me for pointing out that I am now her superior. But she's loved her superiority just too much these last few years and abused it indiscriminately, this being only one of the nails in the coffin of our friendship "You will not speak to me in that tone. Not only do I deserve respect as a superior officer, but also as someone who's always been a friend to you and put your wants, needs and desires above my own."

I know it's wrong of me to pull rank, but hell, she did it plenty of hundreds of times before, especially after I returned from flying, just to punish me for trying to go back to the thing that defined me as a person and for which I spent preparing for my entire life. All the while conveniently forgetting that when she herself had left JAG for money, a Porsche and a man, not only had I not begrudged her, but have even readily and with open arms accepted her back. Not only that, I also helped her get her job back, while she didn't go to any lenghts for me last year while Cheggwidden was humiliating me in front of her. Not only didn't she defend me against the personal insults Chegwidden hurled at me with such enthusiasm, she didn't even try to get my job back. I wonder whether, if I was the one trapped in Paraguay, she would've thrown away her career for me and come to save me. With the better understanding of her character that I got in Paraguay and in the year that has passed since then, I sincerely doubt she would. I'm just not on her list of things and people that are worthy of sacrificing anything for.

"If you think you can manage a civilized conversation, then we are still Harm and Mac inside this office. Now, for why I haven't told you. Honestly, when could I have?" I exclaim, throwing my arms out, showing my exasperation "You've been too busy pushing me away even after you promised not to do it anymore, at the Dining Out and too busy with Tanveer. True, I promised that I will always be there for you and I tried my hardest, but how can I do that if you don't let me? You're still not letting me, just half an hour ago you rejected my offer again.

"As for the other promise... I'm 41 years old, Mac." I plead with her to understand. I don't know why, but for some reason it's important to me "I want a family of my own while there's still time, before I'm too old or dead. With my job the latter is pretty probable. How long am I supposed to wait for you to either decide you want me or to just drop me again if you yet again find another man more interesting or if you decide I didn't do something right? I've been waiting for over 5 years, through your multiple side-interests, distractions and affairs and I'm sorry, but I can't dangle on that rope anymore. I'm too old to be letting myself be strung along anymore. There would always be someone more interesting to you than I and I would be pushed to the side yet again. I bet that had I not taken this promotion, a new officer would be transferred here in the next 2 or 3 months and you would start the mating dance with him all over again and I would again be forgotten in favor of the new interest. Again. I'm tired of always being the second choice, the fallback guy and safe-bet for when the times are slow for you and you're experiencing a man-drought. And in the last year and a half I realized that you were right: we would never work. But not only because we both don't want to be on top, since YOU're the only one seeing relationships as power-struggles and wars, not me, but also because we're just too different to be compatible, we're fighting half the time, 90 percent of who I am you hate, you especially hate the part of me that defines me and has defined my life and identity ever since I can remember. This whole thing between us is just a dance that destroys everything and everyone connected. Look how many other people we've hurt over the years, Renee, Mic,... ourselves. It's time for this to end and I'm ending it now. I received a chance for a new beginning with a promotion I have given up on because I threw 6 months away last year for someone who was completely ungrateful then and still is now, and I'm taking it. I need to start afresh and if you want what's good for you and others then you'll do that too."

I can see in her eyes that this is not something she wants to hear, ever wanted to hear, but she also can't avoid the truth of my words. We both need a fresh start and the only way we have a chance of attaining that is by breaking it off completely.

She starts to protest, but I cut her off. I know I'm behaving tyrannical and not letting her speak, but I'm doing that because she doesn't need to. Her opinion on this doesn't matter and this new lookout is quite liberating.

This is not a democracy, I've decided to do this, I'm finally doing something for myself and not for others and for the first time in too long it's only my opinion that matters to me, no-one else's, not even Mac's. I should've stopped letting her influence my life and letting her have a say in it long ago. If I had, my life would've been better now, on track and perhaps I would already be having the happiness that I've been wanting for decades, the happiness that I deserve.

"Mac, you know there's no other way."

After a few seconds of trying to come up with something to say she deflates and shrugs helplessly.

Knowing that this might be the last time we will ever see each other again, I send her a warm smile. Our acquaintance was always volatile, I've had enemies I had better relations with, except for when they tried to kill me, but I still don't want us to part on a bitter, angry and hostile note. The reason is I don't want to have any regrets later in life and knowing I could've parted on peaceful terms and I hadn't, would definitely be a regret.

"Take good care of yourself, Marine, I'm not gonna be there to save your ass out of the fire anymore. Keep it and your head down and stay as far away from the Agency as you can, to stay alive. But most of all, try to find happiness for yourself. And, Mac?" I decide to try one last time to appeal to her common sense and hope she won't blow me off again "Be careful with Tanveer, I've got a bad feeling about the guy."

She sniffles, nods and leaves the office. I know she didn't listen to my last advice, but I can't stay and hold her hand through life for the rest of eternity. It's time Mac learns she needs to take responsibility for her own actions, not shove it on others and blame them when something goes wrong, like she's done her entire life. She also needs to take her life into her own hands and learn how to make her own decisions, lead her own life, not hang on someone else to make them for her, to tell her what to do. For always claiming and repeating how independent she is and how she doesn't need anyone nor their help, she sure can't do or decide anything on her own. While that is good in the military, it's also the reason why she's a loser in private and civilian life. The unfortunate thing with learning is that you learn on your mistakes. With Mac's fetish for secret agencies, the world of spies and the wrong kind of men I just hope she'll survive her lessons.

I would've given her a hug, but we've become so estranged and distant in the past few years, especially this last year, that doing it would've just felt too awkward.

The door wasn't closed for 2 minutes when they opened after a small, timid knock, revealing Jen, barely holding on to her composure.

"Hey." she greets me, tears in her voice.

"Hey." I greet back.

"So, you're taking it, huh?" she fiddles with the buttons of her blouse. "When you told me about it, after the SecNav gave you the offer, you said you didn't know what you'll do. And now it's a done deal."

"Yeah, I almost didn't take it, but in the end I decided I need a new start." putting the last things into my box I'm finished and dedicate her my entire attention, ignoring the meaning of Jen being the only one in whom I confide, when she should be only a Petty Officer to me. She's stopped being only that months ago, when she became my only friend and my confidant "This isn't goodbye for life, Jen, we'll see each other again. You can still come visit me and I'll make sure to drop by whenever I'm in the 100 miles radius. As for until I leave... why don't you come over for dinner tonight? This is really not a good place for a talk. Besides, I'm not leaving today, we'll get our chance to say goodbye."

She nods and I can see the need for a comforting hug in her expressive dark pools of emotion, but we both know we can't do this here. There's probably already too much speculation about us among the staff after I chose her to do the honors, no need to give them any more ammunition. If the brass knew how good friends I am with an enlisted they would probably burn me on a stake, but you simply can't stay impartial and distant when you spend every waking hour with someone. It's gonna be hard, after spending entire days of months in her company, to suddenly being without her, but I know that somehow, some way our friendship will survive. She's my only real friend anymore, so our friendship must survive even this.

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After clearing out my office and packing my personal stuff into a box, I head out. In the bullpen is the whole staff waiting, minus Mac. I shake hands with Bud and tell him I'll drop by to say goodbye to Harriet and the kids. Jen is still standing in my office doorway, observing with her eyes shining from tears held back. Mac and I have already said goodbye and I see her standing inside her office, looking into the bullpen, before she closes her blinds. For some reason, in that second, it feels deeply symbolic.

Next comes Sturgis. We shake hands, but the tension that's build up a lot since I came back is still there. Our friendship is tainted and the time has run out to fix it. This strain on a 23 years old friendship lays heavily on my soul and I just hope it won't become a regret when it's my time to depart from this world.

After that I turn and leave JAG HQ and their lives.

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