Summary: The night before Rafe leaves for England, there is only one person on his mind, and it isn't Evelyn.

Disclaimer: I don't own any part of Pearl Harbor and this was not made for profit.

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Rafe knows a lot about Danny. Ask him; he can tell you.

He can tell you that Danny walks around barefoot when he can, that he likes the disgustingly sweet cookies in the mess hall, that he sleeps curled into a semi-foetal position on his left side, but that's only until he falls into a deep sleep, because then he sleeps on his stomach like a goddamn starfish, long-ass legs hanging off the sides of the bed. Danny likes his coffee black, with two cubes or three spoons of sugar, and before he drinks he stares into the coffee like it's got all the answers to life's questions. He puts his right sock and shoe and before his left, every single time. He won't bend the pages of a book, something he considers sacrilegious, but he'll chew the end off every damned pen they own and he's got no problems ripping pages out of the middle of a notebook to scribble on.

Danny's got a photo of his of Mom and Dad in his wallet. Rafe hates the man because he almost single-handedly came close to breaking one of the gentlest, kindest souls the earth has been graced with. One thing that surprises him is that Danny didn't get his eyes from his Mom or Dad; maybe God himself had given him those soulful, brown orbs. One thing Rafe knows for sure; starving orphaned puppies had nothing on Danny when he had that look. He has one photo of Rafe, too, a silly one taken during Christmas of Rafe wearing a Santa hat, tucked into the back where they both pretend it doesn't exist because Rafe saw it once and threatened to beat the snot out of him if he didn't get rid of it. He controls the joystick with his left hand but will use two hands every now and then. He always takes food from Rafe's lunch without asking, but will wait for permission when he asks Rafe if he can borrow a pen. He likes chocolate ice-cream. More than three shots of Jack Daniels, and he's puking his guts out in the morning.

Rafe can tell you that Danny's grief is an awful, crushing thing captured in the silent shaking of his shoulders as he hunches over himself in a corner where no one can get to him. Only Rafe has ever seen him cry that way, and it makes him want to blow his brains out because he can't take that away from Danny. He can tell you that you'll never see Danny cry; he wells up with tears easier than a 5 year old, but never lets them fall, stubbornly hiding his grief from anyone who'd pity him. He can tell you that when Danny laughs - really laughs, in that good-natured, dimples-in-cheeks way of his - it never fails to make Rafe laugh too. He can tell you that a truly angry Danny is terrifying, and not just because it is so difficult to imagine that someone so good-natured can beat the living daylights out of an opponent twice his size. Most of all, Rafe can tell you that Danny's smile is the best gift he can give you, because it's so full of unbridled joy and happiness that it is a pity he's too shy to smile like that more often.

Now that his Dad is gone, Rafe is the only person left who knows exactly what color his hair was at the age of 12, and the face he made the first time he got whacked by a propeller. He has a catalogue of firsts - first flight, first fall, first crush, first Spelling Bee championship, first near-disastrous stunt, first disciplinary hearing and he cannot share them, because there is no one who could be trusted with such delicate knowledge.

It is Rafe who knows the intimacy of living with Danny; that he never makes his bed; that he likes having the windows open, even at night. Rafe knows what Danny looks like blinking the sleep from his eyes and searching for his MIA toothbrush and polishing his shoes, and he knows what Danny looks like in the throes of a nightmare and how he still twitches sometimes at the clinking sound of a belt buckle. Rafe knows what it's like to wake up at night and tuck the corners of the blanket over Danny's exposed shoulders; Anthony caught him doing it once and asked if Rafe thought he was Danny's mother and got flipped off for it, but Rafe knows in his heart that he is Danny's everything; mother, father, big brother and best friend.

Rafe carries the knowledge and he doesn't feel the weight of it because he never thought about it until now; that when he leaves, and if he doesn't make it back, there won't be a person left in the world who know Danny the way he deserves to be known.

What Rafe doesn't know - what he's been trying to figure out for a while now - is how Danny can think that Rafe is leaving him behind. Admittedly, he'd never tell him that it is a volunteer mission, and that Danny could come too, because that's not what he wants. Sure, there's nothing better in the world than roaring off to a new adventure with your best buddy at your side, and Rafe knows he's gonna miss Danny even before he gets to England. Thing is, he made a promise to protect Danny, and as much as he wants to have his friend by his side, dragging him off to a war he doesn't believe in would make him the world's shittiest protector.

Danny doesn't believe in the war; doesn't believe that the Nazis are really evil and not just a group of misguided, manipulated people. Which, when you come down to it, is one of the biggest problems Rafe has with the whole idea. Your mom dies when you are three of some horrid illness, you dad becomes a staggering drunk whose idea of a good time is to beat you senseless and you still have some kind of faith that there's a benevolent side to everyone? Please. Rafe figures that some people are just born evil, and he's going to kick their asses before they can cross the ocean and get to the people he loves. Or, you know, at least attempt it.

The thing is, Rafe gets that Danny is scared. He really does. Rafe remembers the feel of his heart thudding when Evelyn cottoned on to his charade at the medical exam, and the feeling of hopelessness at the realization that Danny might go on and he would not. But Danny has got something Rafe hasn't. Danny has him. Big brother, armed and ready, a force great enough to keep Danny safe and warm and happy, even if he doesn't realize how consciously Rafe's molded himself into a protector. Rafe's words ain't no rhetoric bullshit; anything that wants to get to Danny will have to get through him first, and if it does, he'll crawl out of the pits of Hell itself to save Danny. Doesn't matter if he's not within sight, 'cos he'll always be looking out for him.

So yeah, maybe that's the thing that's really bugging him about this whole "leaving me behind" bullshit; that he can know how Danny arranges his books and the motion he uses when writing and the way his overly-long fringe curtains his eyes, but not know when Danny lost his faith in Rafe to always have his back.

"One thing Rafe knew for sure; starving orphaned puppies had nothing on Danny when he had that look." LOL

"Anthony caught him doing it once and asked if Rafe thought he was Danny's mother and got flipped off for it, but Rafe knows in his heart that he is Danny's everything; mother, father, big brother and best friend." SO CUTE!

Now that I sound like an idiot for typing in caps, let me just say that this is the best Pearl Harbor fic I've read so far. The diction and characterization are spot on. The only mistake is that, at the very end, you have "toalways" whereas I'm pretty sure you meant "to always."

Thats about all I have. Stay amazing!! =D

~Aniuwolfe

Wow. I loved it.
It's actually the best "Pearl Harbor"-fic I've ever read and it's so very in-character and sad and lovely that it breaks my heart a bit.
My favourite part was "He has a catalogue of firsts - first flight, first fall, first crush, first Spelling Bee championship, first near-disastrous stunt, first disciplinary hearing and he cannot share them, because there is no one who could be trusted with such delicate knowledge" and the part that hurt most to read was: "he knows what Danny looks like in the throes of a nightmare and how he still twitches sometimes at the clinking sound of a belt buckle"

Just thought I'd let you know.