Maura stood in front of the bathroom mirror studying herself. There was nothing special there in particular, hazel eyes, golden blonde hair. She couldn't see what others saw in her, what Jane saw in her. There were so many other people out in the world and she was just one, one who had been fortunate enough to capture the heart of Jane Rizzoli and now- now she was losing it.
She wiped away the tears that had begun and stripped bare. Turning on the shower she stepped in, letting the warm water engulf her and wash away the pain. Maura sunk to the bottom and cried quietly to herself. Could she survive losing Jane? How would they work together now? The questions couldn't have answers until the unthinkable happened. They were still a couple, Jane hadn't explicitly broken it off- but she hadn't been one to reassure either.
Eventually Maura had regained control of herself, it wasn't like this guarded Medical Examiner to let emotions overtake her, and when they did it was a storm of monstrous proportions. She scrubbed her scalp with Jane's lavender shampoo and was washing it out when the door opened. Maura didn't look up, she knew Jane often used the sink and mirror while Maura was showering, it was almost a routine.
But this time Jane closed the door behind her and locked it. This time she crossed the bathroom, peeling off her tank top and throwing it to the floor, stepping out of her pajama pants and kicking them away, opening the door of the shower in only a pair of navy blue boyshorts. Maura stared at her, surprised. They hadn't showered together since the first weeks of being together, it had been so good back then.
Jane looked at Maura hungrily, starting at her calves up to her thighs, lingering over the v-shape at her hips, above her bellybutton and flattened stomach, up to her perky breasts, just waiting to be explored. She made eye contact with Maura, almost asking her silently if this was okay after their earlier argument. Maura simply walked toward Jane, pulling at the corners of her underwear, following them down to her ankles, kissing the insides of her legs as she did so.
Letting out a soft moan Jane pulled Maura up from the floor and pushed her into the shower. It was amazing how fast they could be entwined in each other, Jane's arms around Maura's waist, Maura tangling her hands in Jane's wild curls. Their lips crushed each other in a desperate need of passion and desire, mouths opening to allow tongues entrance. Jane's hands roamed Maura's body, making their way up to her breasts and taking her left nipple carefully between her fingers.
Maura almost buckled against Jane as she played with Maura, using one arm behind her back to support her. Jane left Maura's mouth and went for her neck, sucking and kissing and biting as she trailed down. While still massaging the left, Jane took Maura's right nipple between her teeth, playfully biting. A deep moan emanated from within Maura. Jane smiled as she sucked and played with Maura's nipples. Feeling the need to reciprocate, Maura reached toward Jane's taking them between her thumb and forefinger.
They stayed this way for minutes, until the other was moaning just from the mere friction. Jane stood up and once again was at Maura's mouth, dropping her hands to Maura's waist. Taking one hand, she trailed down Maura's center until she passed her bellybutton and cupped her sex. Breaking Jane's kiss, Maura pressed her body against Jane's, her heart rate increasing and breath becoming labored.
Jane quickly took two fingers and entered Maura, making her scream out in pleasure and surprise. Jane began massaging Maura as she propped herself up with her arms on Jane's shoulders. While Maura tended to be the one who initiated sex, Jane was always in control. This time, however, Maura surprised her by taking her fingers and massaging Jane's clitoris and her fingers worked furiously inside of Maura.
"Jane." Maura breathed, almost approaching orgasm.
"Wait for me." Jane whispered against her ear. Smiling, Maura moved from her clit and entered Jane, increasing her tempo as Jane slowed hers. The two clung to each other at the shoulders as the water poured over them. As Maura vibrated quicker and harder, Jane moaned heavily against Maura's neck. "Maura!" She squealed.
Picking up her pace, Jane copied Maura until both of them had fallen over the edge of orgasm. They clung to each other, stilled fingers still inside one another while they panted. Maura trailed kisses up Jane's neck as she smiled. Withdrawing her fingers, Jane picked up the washcloth from the ledge, pouring a small amount of vanilla body wash on it and began lathering Maura up. Maura withdrew her fingers as well and stood back from Jane, allowing her access to every inch of her skin. Grabbing the shampoo, Maura began to massage Jane's scalp, the two of them washing away all traces of their sexual experience just moments before.
For the moment, the couple was happy, living in an almost deja vu like state. Maura was unsure of just how long this would last and if Jane had engaged in sex because she wanted Maura or wanted Maura to know that she still did. They shut off the water and they exited the shower, drying each other off with towels, continuing to make sex eyes at each other. But Jane exited the bathroom and Maura sat at her vanity, applying her makeup and blow drying her hair. Jane quickly threw on clothes, kissed Maura goodbye and headed off to BPD.
Once every two weeks Maura went to work late.
She spent an hour of each morning perched upon Dr. Capshaw's leather couch pouring out her secrets. This had started about the time Maura discovered she had feelings for Jane and needed to know how to navigate the now dangerous roads of her mind. Dr. Capshaw was a blonde woman in her mid-thirties, about the same age as Maura, and therefore was a relief. While she appreciated the input and experiences of the older psychiatrists, Dr. Capshaw knew what it was like to be the rising star of her profession, to be able to add insights that were recent and had the most up to date information of her field.
So that morning Maura had planned to finally discuss Jane. While her initial reason for seeking out a psychologist was to discuss Jane and how a relationship with her may affect them both- she had instead ended up talking about her upbringing. She focused on how her mother and father were always loving and there for her, but never affectionate. Sharing tale after tale of boarding school and then medical school. Regaling the process it took to become the Chief Medical Examiner of the Commonwealth of Massachusetts. She even described her love affairs but never once had she mentioned Jane.
"Shall we start where we left off last time?" Dr. Capshaw asked, positioning herself in a large blue reading chair. Her notepad was out and pen poised, waiting for Maura to initiate the topic of discussion.
Maura sat on the sofa with her legs tucked underneath her. It was a skill she had picked up at boarding school, to sit comfortably in a skin tight dress and still reveal nothing. She played with her fingernails nervously, something very uncharacteristic of her and the doctor took note. "I've...sort of been seeing someone." Dr. Capshaw's eyes turned up, this was a very good start to their session. "And well, it's been having difficulty recently. We work together so sometimes I feel the strain of our relationship at work. I just want to be loving but I know I can't. And it's starting to feel like we jumped into this thing way too fast."
"Have you approached him with how you feel? I'm assuming it's a police officer from your line of work." Dr. Capshaw questioned.
"She's a detective." The look on Capshaw's face explained everything as soon as Maura had revealed Jane's sex. Perhaps it was such a monumental mistake to reveal herself as gay without knowing how her therapist felt on the subject. Capshaw closed her notebook and set it aside along with her pen.
"Maura. I'm not very good at lesbian relationships. My sister married her wife a few years ago and I've been completely terrible at everything. I feel so awkward around them without knowing why. They love each other just like I love my husband, the love is no different in any way. So please know I will do my best to assist you in your problems." She paused.
"That having been said, I believe that lesbian relationships and straight relationships are fairly identical in nature. You should just come out and talk to your partner about your doubts, it usually seems to work best. You two need to work through your problems, not around them."
Maura nibbled on the inside of her lip. "Jane and I...we've been partners for over three years. We've been through so much together, it starts to make me wonder if we could fall apart this easily, was our entire foundation a lie?"
"Tell me about the things you've been through." Capshaw asked as she picked up the notebook again.
"Well, when I had first met Jane, she was dealing with the serial killer Charles Hoyt. We faced him together once, in fact." Maura paused, reflecting on the terrifying scene at the prison.
"Let's talk about that for a minute. Hoyt only targeted couples, correct?" Maura simply nodded. "And he targeted both Jane and you. Does this speak for anything?"
"Hoyt's apprentice was there too, and knowing how Hoyt behaved, he wouldn't have wanted anyone to share Jane. I always figured it was because his apprentice needed someone while he was busy with Jane." Maura shuddered at the thought.
Capshaw thought for a moment, formulating the correct wording of her next statements. "Or perhaps Hoyt saw through the facade. You two are close and at every scene have protected each other. However, let's not dwell on that, what happened after Hoyt?"
"After Hoyt there was Marino. Frankie was really badly injured and I did everything I could to help him, Jane believes I saved his life but I didn't. I don't work on the living, I work on the dead. So when her partners showed up, Marino took her hostage and Jane managed to fight his gun downward, shooting him through herself. I was so afraid I was going to lose her."
"Did you stay with her?"
"We weren't together at the time but I was coming out of BPD when she shot herself, I was the first to reach her. I rode with her to the hospital and stayed by her side the whole time she was there. Her and Frankie shared a room which made it easier. I also think Angela would've made the hospital staff's lives a living hell if her children weren't together." Maura smiled at that thought.
"You love Angela?" Capshaw inquired.
Maura paused slightly. "Angela is a uniquely loving woman. My parents weren't affectionate, I never grew up with hugs or kisses or heart shaped peanut-butter and fluff sandwiches. So when I met Jane and Angela came along, at first I was overwhelmed with her presence but I came to deeply love Angela as a mother, yes. She considered me her daughter before Jane and I."
"Have you considered the effect your relationship with Jane could have on your relationship with Angela?" Capshaw sat back in chair and watched Maura try and formulate a response.
"Yes...Jane and I have both struggled with out decision to tell Angela. We've told Jane's two brothers who are supportive and her partners at work who had always thought we were together. Telling Angela meant we were struggling through a lifetime of Catholic upbringing and years of Jane's escapades with men. We were facing having to re-write Angela's entire concept of her daughter and of my hospitality."
"Your hospitality?"
"I've all but given my house to the entire Rizzoli family. Angela lives in my guest house, Jane is always over, at one point Tommy lived there after being released from prison. Frankie comes and goes as he pleases and I even host most of their family get togethers and a dinner every Sunday. I feel like Angela will reject my hospitality as something more."
"Is it something more?"
Maura thought on her answer for a few moments. "No. As I've stated plenty of times, my family is very wealthy, we threw money at our friends for their support, I went to boarding school as soon as I was old enough for one. So when Jane landed in my life and I had brothers and a best friend and mother who hovered and cared. So it seemed completely normal for me to do what my parents had done and offer as much as I possibly could. Even more."
"Why would you think Angela will refuse your hospitality as more than a familial thing? Have you tried telling her what you've just told me?" Capshaw was scribbling notes frantically.
"I'm not good at emotions. I can't quantify and measure them. I'm a woman of science Dr. Capshaw. I believe in finite things that I can dissect and explain. Family isn't explainable, that's the one thing I've learned over these past few years with Jane. People will continue to surprise and amaze you. I never know what to expect from Angela. We already tried once..."
Maura was driving home from the airport, drumming her fingers against the steering wheel anxiously. Jane was waiting for her only ten minutes away, they could be together. She smiled at the thought of Jane wrapped up in her arms, lips pressed firmly against hers. Maura even envisioned taking Jane up to their bedroom- oh the things this medical examiner had waited a week for.
But she knew that there was a more pressing issue at hand- Angela Rizzoli. Angela, who felt like a mother to Maura, was packing up her guest house and threatening to leave. Where would she go? Maura had questioned Jane yesterday when she'd called. Apparently Angela was moving into Frankie's very small apartment.
It upset Maura greatly that Angela thought so little of her to move out while she was away. But she would have her chance to confront her shortly. Maura pulled into her driveway and slid into the garage. She took a couple minutes to compose herself before entering her home. There were too many emotions she hasn't expected- Jane was bringing out so much in her that she'd never anticipated.
She hadn't taken enough time before Jane shot through the garage door and was sweeping Maura up in her arms. They embraced each other, allowing their hands to roam, reacquainting themselves with each other. What had only been a week felt like an eternity. Maura's hands quickly worked their way into Jane's hair as her lips pressed firmly against Jane's. Oh how many times had they both pictured this exact scene?
Jane's hands went expertly under Maura's teal sweater, one teasing a nipple over her bra, the other maneuvering behind to unclasp it.
"Jane." Maura warned with a smile on her lips.
"Shh." Jane responded. "I need you, Maur."
Maura stopped protesting and allowed Jane to unclasp and push up her bra, revealing her hard, perky breasts. Jane pushed Maura against her car and smiled, pushing the sweater up to her armpits and taking her right nipple between her teeth. Maura moaned in pleasure, leaning heavily against the car.
"Jane!" Maura screamed out in pleasure, pulling Jane's hair tightly.
Jane moved down to Maura's jeans, popping the button in a simple gesture. Her hand went beneath Maura's lace boyshorts to find her sopping wet.
"Mhm, you're so wet Maur." Jane purred as she continued to stroke her center. Smiling, Jane pushed Maura's jeans down around the top of her boots, taking her underwear with it. Pushing her knees as far apart as they'd go, Jane sunk her tongue into Maura's drenched folds, circling her clit as she did so. Maura squirmed at the pleasure and Jane put one hand against her stomach and the other began massaging her nipple.
Maura pulled Jane's hair. "Oh god, Jane!" Jane increased in tempo, Maura continued to squirm against her. "Jane!" She screamed so close to orgasm.
At that moment the garage door flung open and Angela stood there fuming mad. "Jane Clementine Rizzoli!" She screamed. Jane didn't pause in her pleasuring of Maura, but Maura's head snapped around in terror. It was the worst moment for her to orgasm.
"JANE!" Maura gasped as she orgasmed, Jane smiling at her handiwork. She looked up at Maura's terrified face.
"I want both of you inside this house in two minutes." Angela spat before closing the door.
Jane pulled Maura's boyshorts up and then her jeans, kissing her stomach on the way up. Maura smiled at Jane while clasping her bra and pulling her sweater down.
"Jane, that was incredibly stupid. Your mother!"
"Maur, this is our house, not hers. If she doesn't want to see me making love to my girlfriend she shouldn't be bursting in." Jane said calmly kissing Maura's neck.
"Stop it, Jane." Maura laughed. "Lets go inside before your mother kills us."
They grabbed Maura's suitcases from the trunk and wheeled them into the house, leaving them by the door for the moment. Reaching over for Jane's hand, the couple entered the kitchen to see Angela sitting at the dining room table.
"Angela." Maura said warmly, nodding in her direction.
Angela made no notion of warmth when she spoke. "Girls. Can you sit please?"
The two exchanged a look and then sat side by side at the table, their hands still clasped.
"What's going on, Ma?"
Angela sat at the table, fidgeting with her hands. Jane knew this was something major for her mother to be all but speechless. "We need to talk about this, this relationship you two think you have."
Maura and Jane stared at each other in shock. How could Angela think this was some phase they were going through? Or some joke they had decided to play? Had she not just seen them in the garage? "Ma- this isn't something you can try and fix, it's real. I'm in love with Maura." Jane defended their relationship but Maura felt her wall start to go up. She wasn't good with emotions, with people, this was going to be an uphill battle.
"You've always loved men, Jane!" Her mother screeched. "You were supposed to marry Casey!" Angela began to cry.
"I wasn't supposed to do anything. I loved Casey but I wasn't in love with him. I didn't see a future with him, I see a future with Maura." Jane squeezed Maura's hand to solidify her statement.
"But I want grandchildren and the two of you can't give them to me."
Maura looked up at Angela. "I want children, Angela. We can harvest Jane's eggs and have them fertilized, I'd love to carry her child, to carry our child. Just because we've found ourselves in love doesn't mean we can't give you grandchildren."
"Ma, you have TJ too, it's not like you'll never had another grandchild."
Angela looked at them both disgusted. "I don't want some test-tube baby. That's not how children, loved children, are conceived and born."
"I find that to be completely opposite." Maura tried. "Couples who go to lengths such as in vitro and pre-fertilization like Jane and I would do tend to have extremely loved children."
"What would you know about being a loved child Maura? Your father was an Irish Mobster and your mother gave up on you. You were sent to boarding school when you were seven. You know nothing of a loving family!" Angela screamed at her.
"MA!" Jane yelled. "That was completely unacceptable. How could you say that?"
Maura stood up and ran up the stairs, trying to hide her tears. "Jane, I can't sit here and condone this relationship you two think you have. It's wrong. I refuse to live next door to that. I'm moving into Tommy's. Call me when you've realized your mistake."
"Ma, wait. Don't go to Tommy's. Here, take my keys, I haven't given up my apartment yet." Jane said reaching into her pocket.
"That's the one good thing you've done." Angela said as she left the house.
Maura was caught up in the memory of Angela storming out of their lives for the last time. It had seemed like years ago that she had given up on them when it had in fact been just weeks. Dr. Capshaw had listened attentively to the parts Maura had felt comfortable enough to share and took detailed notes.
"Well." She said, interrupting Maura's internal dialogue. "Perhaps we should get the three of you in for a therapy session?"
"I doubt Angela would come, let alone listen to anything Jane or I had to say. Especially now that we're having problems, she'd probably sit there and smirk because she had told us so."
"Maura, you never know. She could be missing you two just as much as I can tell you're missing her."
Maura stood up to leave, knowing her hour was over. "Dr. Capshaw, if I believed for a second that Angela Rizzoli could be reasoned with, I would have tried everything by now. But between my work, Jane's work, and Angela's obvious attempts at ignoring us after seven months, I doubt anything will work. After all, there's no rest for the wicked now is there?"