Sorry that my last chapter was so short. I'll try to do better. I DON'T own Kane Chronicles.

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2. I Get to Pet the Big, Red, Funny-looking Dog

Hello? Hello? Is this working? [Loud crashing noises. Thuds. Rob, shut up. I am not technologically inept. What, six syllables too much for you? Ow. Sorry. No, you don't get to tell tell this part! You want to know why? You were asleep! And no, I don't care that you were knocked unconscious. OW! Stop hitting me!]

I apologize for my friend's behavior. Rob is mean. [ STOP! HITTING! ME!] I think I should get to tell the part where I saved us from Clifford. So… the story. Yeah. Here we go.

I'll just pick up where Sadie left off. "I'm sure you'll be…" she started to say, before a giant red dog leaped from out of now here and knocked her out. Worst pep talk ever. Carter fared slightly better. He was able to curse before he got knocked out. Rob was pathetic [Ow] and was out of the fight quickly.

"Good doggie." I told the beast. "Good boy." I edged closer, sticking my hand out. When I got close enough, I put my hand on the dog's head, and slowly stroked his fur, calming him down. "You have a name?" I asked. "How 'bout Clifford?" [You know, 'cause he's a big red dog? Oh, forget it.] Clifford's eyes started to close, and before long I had a 50-pound dog head snoring on my lap. "Good boy." I reassured him, opening my book. After a few pages I dozed off. You try staying wake with a dog sleeping on top of you. The fact that the book was about a hundred years old and as boring as a bag of bricks didn't help matters. [Okay Rob, I guess I was asleep for a large portion of the chapter. Happy?]

I was still dozing when someone walked in. A girl's voice yelled "Oh my god", and then there was a slew of screaming and incomprehensible words like "animal" and "hat" and "pineapple upside down cake". Of course, I'm not exactly known for being a good listener. I yawned stood up, carefully moving the dog's head. [Again, how was I supposed to know it wasn't a dog? Yes, I know its red. And really big. So I guess it doesn't look like a dog at all. I can't believe I didn't notice that. Shut up Rob.]

"Who are you?" the girl asked "Are you Set?

"I sure hope not." I reply "I'm Mike. And you are…"

"I'm Cleo." she replied. "Why is everyone…"

"Unconscious? Clifford knocked 'em out. Good boy." I rubbed the dog's head again. [I'm going to keep calling it that. Get over it.]

"Should I wake them up?" Cleo asked, thoroughly confused by this point.

"No, well not yet at least." I said, pulling a marker out of my pocket.

"What are you going to do with that?" she asked.

"I thought it was obvious. I'm going to draw on their faces, then ride away on Clifford, then you wake them up." At this point a short kid accompanied by a herd? flock? squad? platoon? of attack penguins. For some reason the kid yelled "Leroy!" and had his penguins attack me. It was just like that time when the chickens... never mind. While I was reminiscing about the chicken incident, I was tackled by a penguin platoon.

I attempted to reason with the penguins, mainly by trying to brain them with a rock I had in my pocket (don't ask). This appeared to annoy the little kid more, causing him to try and freeze me with a snowstorm. By this point, my faithful dog Clifford had woken up and come to my rescue, swallowing the penguins whole, and causing the little kid to run away, and Cleo (who had managed to stay out of this) to puke and run screaming in the other direction. I have that affect on people.

Aa athletic kid in running shorts came running, and chucked a small, shiny object at me. When it turned into a rhino, I had Clifford eat it. I then proceeded to throw everything I found at the athletic kid, and before long there was a zoo in the room, with dozens of giant turtles, a handful of greyhounds, and a flock of seagulls causing havoc.

Carter and Sadie chose this point to wake up.

It took about minutes to calm everything down, during which the athletic kid, who I found out was named Walt, had gotten a large cut on his forehead, and I got a broken arm when the damage caused by one of the turtles caused a large chuck of a statue to hit my arm. Apparently, maiming people is frowned upon here, so I lost desert privileges for a week, while Walt and Felix got off with a scolding. (Felix because he's little, and I should know better than to beat up little people's pets; and Walt because he thought I was Set, who is apparently these peoples' enemies.) I personally thought that Walt not getting in trouble had more to do with him being Sadie's boyfriend than him thinking I'm Set. [Now you're hitting me too? You're supposed to be in charge! OUCH!] I'm not good at first impressions.

Finally, I got this up, and the story is long enough! Update in a week? Maybe? Review if you like it, and if you have ideas, send them.