Joni
"You have a very attractive son" I blurt out when the silence becomes too much. What is wrong with you?! I chastise myself. "I mean he is very handsome, he looks like his father…not that I was staring at you husband or anything…I am with Teddy we are serious…not too serious like ready for marriage or anything just like we don't sleep with other people….(Shut up)…not that I sleep with other people he is the only person I have ever been with you know like that…he has been with loads of people…(Oh my god stop talking)…not that I am calling him a slut or anything just you know he got around, but not anymore and he doesn't have any STD's we checked…not that he is having unprotected sex with random women or me for that matter…we use condoms…(Crawl in to a hole and die)…You have Teddy's eyes" I finish lamely.
"Thank you" she replies softly.
"I talk a lot when I am nervous" I tell her feeling my face turn red. "It's like word vomit."
"It is okay" she says smiling sweetly. "Teddy thought you would be freaking out…his words not mine. I just wanted to assure you that that was no big deal." I make my patented yeah right face. "I am serious. I meet Christian's mother in his dress shirt and pair of jeans. She nearly walked in on us having…in a very compromising position."
"Seriously?" I ask sighing in relief when she nods. "That makes me feel a lot better."
"Would you like to join us for lunch?"
"Umm I don't think your husband would like that very much" I say honestly. Upon seeing her confused face I add "the walls aren't that thick."
"He didn't mean it like that, Christian is just very protective of his family" she explains. "Once we all get to know each other things will be a lot better."
"Okay" I answer reluctantly. "I just need twenty minutes."
"I will wait outside" she says leaving the room. I go into the bathroom to freshen up. I look in the mirror as I brush my teeth noticing my make from last night. Great, I look like a raccoon had sex with a MAC palette. My usual olive complexion looks pasty and tired.
"I went from Selma Hayek to Alexis Bledel" I groan piling my hair in to a neater sloppy bun before hopping into the shower for a quick wash. I grab my burnt orange turtle neck; Teddy says it makes my topaz eyes look warmer. I throw on some Levi's and my Ralph Lauren riding boots. Taking a deep breathe I walk out the room.
Teddy
My dad and I are in an intense glaring match when Johnny enters the room. I hate to lose, but like always my eyes are drawn to her and I am rewarded. Her sweater curves to her like a glove as do her jeans. I know it is rude to stare, but come on.
"Teddy, have you seen my coat?" she asks softly.
"It's behind the couch" Phoebe answered before I can.
"Thank you" Joni whispers going to retrieve it. "Teddy, have you seen…" I walk around the living room gathering her purse, keys and phone.
"We do this every day babe" I chuckle handing her her things. "Don't forget your glasses they are on the counter." She mouths thank you to me before going to get her glasses.
"Is she blind?" Phoebe asks in her version of a whisper which is the average person's regular voice.
"Only according to the state of Texas" Joni answers putting on her glasses and struggling to put on her coat.
"No, that is a federal guide line" I say helping her with her coat. She picks up mine and returns the favor.
"It really shouldn't be" she argues grabbing my scarf and putting it on me. "I can see…shapes."
"Exactly why you don't have a license" I say grabbing her hand. "That and your piss poor sense of direction."
"Hey, I always get to where I am going" she boasts as I drag her out of the apartment. I nearly forgot that my family is here until I turned to lock the door.
"Yeah still here" Phoebe says taking my key and locking the door.
"Sorry we do that a lot" Johnny says digging through her purse.
"You put your phone in your coat pocket" I inform her already knowing why she is digging through her purse. She pats her pockets while glaring at me.
"I would have found it" she grumbles. It is an awkward car ride to the hotel with Phoebe riding shot gun, much to my father's dissatisfaction. Joni does her best not to notice how disgruntled he is, but he is not trying to hide it at all.
"So, Joni, is it?" Phoebe asks as we get settled into our private dining room. She continues when Joni nods "what is your major?"
"I double major in art history and anthropology with a focus in archeology" she answers automatically. "I also minor in business and marketing."
"We met during the campus visit in the business center" I inform them.
"That is interesting. Isn't that interesting Christian?" my mom asks trying to get my dad to engage in the conversation.
"What do you plan to do with that?" he asks off handedly.
"I want to be a museum curator" she says. "My dad in in the Marines, so we moved a lot, but the one thing that has always remained the same is the museums. No matter where you go there is always one somewhere; big, small, local. There is history everywhere you look."
"That is kind of like my mom with books" Phoebe says.
"Oh really?" Joni asks swallowing a bite. "What do you do Mrs. Grey?" At that everyone at the table stops and stares at her. "I'm sorry did I say something wrong?"
"No, of course not" mom says politely. "I am in publishing."
"Oh yeah" Joni says nodding her head. "And Mr. Grey owns his own business."
"Where did you say you are from again?" Phoebe asks.
"Well, if you believe my dad's old stories I was born on the kitchen floor in Russia" she answers honestly. "And from there we went to Japan, then Djibouti, Germany, Australia, South Korea and then Texas. This is actually the longest I have ever spent in one place."
"I was trying to place your accent" dad says slowly.
"It is an amalgamation" she says shrugging.
"I want to travel the world so badly" Phoebe says glancing at dad. "How do you feel about traveling instead of college?"
"I say do it" Joni says flippantly. "There is no better experience than raw life experience. My mom never wanted to be a cookie cutter military wife. We always stayed off base among locals getting entranced in the cultures and languages."
"That is exactly how I feel" Phoebe says enthusiastically. "I want to truly experience life not read about it in a book."
"College will always be there for you to go back to, but you only have a certain amount of unencumbered youth" Joni says obviously missing the daggers dad was throwing at her. "Think about it, you have no bills, no one to answer to, no children and you are physically able."
"She answers to us and she has no bills because we pay for all of them" dad interjects. "How can you advocate skipping college when you are currently in college?"
"I took two years off before I came to Harvard" Joni informs him. "How are you opposed to Phoebe taking a gap year when Teddy also took one?"
"That was different" dad argues. "He worked at GP with his mother for a year gaining experience not trekked around the country."
"It is just a different form of experience" Joni counters.
"Let's agree to disagree" dad says.
Yes, this is going great…