Disclaimer: Only the parodied lyrics are mine, the rest belongs to geniuses. Also, if there are any other SA parodies out there that I accidentally borrow from, please tell me, I'd be happy to acknowledge and R&R.
Notes: First, I'd like to thank everyone for all of the reviews and favorites- I was amazed, since it was such a short chapter! (And, in my opinion, not one of my best parodied songs either- as some of you pointed out, it was just a bunch of foreshadowing.) Anyway, you've encouraged me to try for a chapter each week. (We'll see how fast I break that vow, though).
I based all the conversations off the musical scripts, but there are a few Wedekind-script references. Again, I'd recommend listening to the songs while reading. I cut out the harmonies except for Ilse's end ones because they would just be confusing and repeat anything I'd already written anyway.
On another note, please don't take offense that I'm mocking Spring Awakening. I'm doing it because I love it so much, the characters, plot, or whatever else I choose to make fun of. I even make fun of myself eventually.
Please note I've raised the rating to "M" for later scenes. *coughs* Still, if you've seen Spring Awakening, there's nothing in here that you haven't seen. Not that that narrows it down much. Okay enough rambling, read on (please).
Scene Two: Mama, the Story (Reprise)
Frau Bergman: Oh, my, Wendla, you've matured so much since I last saw you in the make-up room!
Wendla: That's because they refuse to cast a fourteen-year-old in the role of Wendla in fear of what it might promote to our young members of society.
Melchior (offstage): Hypocrites.
Frau Bergman: Wendla- that dress… it's so… so…
Wendla: Appealing?
Frau Bergman: Appalling! It's far too short!
Wendla: Oh, but Mama, can't I just wear it this once? Please?
Frau Bergman: Well…
Wendla: …please please please please please please...
Frau Bergman: No.
Wendla: But it makes me look like a fairy princess!
Frau Bergman: Well, okay.
(Long, awkward silence.)
Wendla: Mama…?
Frau Bergman: Yes…?
Wendla (blurting): What if I'm dead in seven songs?
Frau Bergman: Darling! Your foreshadowing unnerves me!
Wendla: Oh, but don't be sad- I'll come back as a ghost!
Moritz (offstage): Dude, being a ghost sucks.
Frau Bergman: Dear, that's… that's… you've made me forget my lines!
Wendla: Mama, how do I get pregnant?
(Silence. A horrified Frau Bergman is covering her face in her apron.)
Wendla: Oh, I'm just curious. It's not as if I'm planning to, you know…
Frau Bergman: Again with the foreshadowing! Why would you shame me by asking such a thing?
Wendla: 'Cause they haven't invented Internet yet.
Frau Bergman: I couldn't possibly tell you…
Wendla: Why not?
Frau Bergman: Because it would ruin the Act II plot!
Wendla: … please please please please please please please please please please please please...
Frau Bergman (praying): Hurry up, and die already, would ya?
Wendla (taking a breath): …please please please please please please...
Frau Bergman: FINE!
(Wendla pumps her fist.)
Frau Bergman: But you have to hide under my skirt.
Wendla: For a diagram?
(Frau Bergman slaps Wendla.)
Frau Bergman: Devil child!
Wendla: You had sex with the devil!
Hanschen (whispered offstage): She's not being very convincing, is she?
Ernst (dazed that Hanschen is talking to him): What's sex?
Hanschen: *evil laughter*
(The cast whistles. Back onstage, Wendla has her head wrapped in Frau Bergman's apron.)
Frau Bergman: To look pregnant, you must either gain a bunch of weight – and pay close attention, dear- ACT ONE, SCENE ELEVEN, MELCHIOR GABOR, SEX!
(Her microphone cuts out.)
Wendla: What was that?
Frau Bergman: Sorry, mike malfunction. Buh-bye.
Wendla: Mama!
(The girls stomp loudly onstage and start doing the wave with their bodies. They are singing out of hand held mikes, because they totally had those back in 1891 Germany. But not the wireless kind.)
Girls:
Mama, the story.
Gotta get angsty.
Come on, let's angst girls,
Yeah, we're all so bad.
Mama, I'm sorry.
Gotta get angsty.
We've all just gotta sing
'bout why we're so sad.
Mama, the bleeping.
It's so new-fangled.
We'll sing 'bout heaven,
Porn, and young men.
We pray that one day
He will come a'calling.
We'll light the candle-
Ilse:
No wait, that's RENT!
Girls:
Oh!
We all just lie there sighing
For them to come and find us,
We watch and hum for the entire show.
Ilse:
You can ignore me.
Duncan, you gave me
No part, scene eight, I'll
Get laid with my dad!
Girls:
Mama, we're seeping
With all the hormones
Let's go stalk Hanschen
And Jonathan!
(Squeals as the lights go out.)
Wendla (peeping): … can I come out now?...
So… better song than the first? Totally lame? Made you fall off your seat laughing? Made you fall off your seat, dead of shame someone would do such a thing to beloved SA characters?... desperate for feedback, here! Reviews motivate!