Author's Note: Hello my lovelies! I know that this update is pretty much long overdue, SO here it is! I hope you guys enjoy it. Don't worry, certain people *cough, cough* Damon *cough, cough* will be back-ish to their normal selves, soon.
-Anneryn

I DO NOT OWN VAMPIRE DIARIES OR THE CHARACTERS (That doesn't stop me from pretending…).

Chapter 2:

I woke up groggily, with a splitting headache. I winced as I sat up. I opened my eyes and peered around my room. I must have fallen asleep. I came up here after Damon… I closed my eyes, trying to remember everything that happened. What he said… it just triggered me. I had to get away from him… I felt like I was suffocating.

At least I enjoyed a bit of dreamless sleep. Dreamless… no nightmares. I started shaking; I remembered Grams dying in front of me. I bolted off of my bed and out of my room. I ran to the bathroom. The light is on and the door is locked. I ran downstairs with a hand covering my mouth. I willed myself not to let the contents of my stomach come up before I was in a bathroom. I ran through the living room and passed the kitchen. I ran into the bathroom and slid to my knees. I lifted the toilet seat and uncovered my mouth. I spewed the contents of my stomach. The image didn't leave me; it just grew stronger. It's forever burned in my memory. I can't change that I couldn't help her.

I lifted my head from above the toilet and sat on the bathroom floor, breathing heavily. I took a deep breath. I can hear talking in the living room. I can hear footsteps coming closer and closer to the bathroom. I remembered all of the times Grams came to take care of me… to check up on me…. I leaned back over the toilet and spilled what little contents I had left in my stomach into the porcelain bowl. I felt someone rubbing my back. This only made things worse. I continued throwing up liquid, bile, and stomach acid until I had nothing left. It took awhile for the dry heaves to stop. I closed my eyes.

I moved away from the toilet, slightly. I put the seat lid down and flushed the toilet. The hands left my back. I felt something being pressed into my hand. I looked down. It's a damp dish cloth. I wiped my face off. I folded it, and mopped the tears off of my face. Every time I get sick like that, tears are forced out. I stood up, shakily. I turned on the bathroom sink faucet and rinsed my mouth out. I turned around to face Jenna.

I let her pull me into a hug. I rested my head in the groove of her neck. She just held me. Her maternal instincts must have been tingling. She let me go just to put an arm around my waist and lead me into the kitchen. She had me sit down at the table. I closed my eyes and leaned my head on the table. The cold wood feels nice against my clammy skin.

I inhaled slowly. I closed my eyes and thought about better times. I tried to think of all of the good times I had with Grams. I thought about the times that I would stay with her when Dad was out of town and we would make brownies. I remember when she first told me that I was a witch, and I didn't believe her… I remember the first time that she was there for me when no one else was. I remember when she promised that she would always be there for me…. no matter what happened.

My eyes started burning. Tears escaped from underneath my closed eyelids. Silent tears made small puddles on the table. I sat there with my head down, sobbing. It felt good to remember, but it didn't change the fact that it hurt. Everything hurts. I feel so lost. I don't know how to find my way back.

I can smell soup. Jenna's making soup for me. This made me sob harder. Grams used to have a remedy for everything. I can't remember it being this bad. Normally I have some control… I can stop. I can't stop these from coming. I heard Jenna set something in front of me. I didn't look up to see what it was. I just cried. I scooted my chair back, a bit. I lifted my legs, and hugged my knees, holding myself. I feel like if I don't, I might disappear.

I hate days like these. Sometimes I have good days. I was having a good streak of good days. But, I get these spells of hard days. They are bad. Barely anything processes. I don't know how to deal with anything. How can I accept something like this? I can't just get over this. This is definitely a bad day.

But, today is different. Crying isn't helping. It's not enough. I need to cry; I can't stop my tears. But it isn't enough. Everything inside of me aches. I feel like I don't have control of anything.

I forgot about everything surrounding me. I rocked back and forth, trying to get some sense of calm. It didn't help. I lost track of time and the rest of world. After what felt like days, blurred together, I felt someone pick me up. I was lifted into strong arms. I didn't take notice of who it was. I was carried upstairs and cradled on my bed. I just… sobbed.

Gradually… eventually, I cried myself to sleep. But, those arms never left me. I felt my eyes swell shut. I didn't try to open them. I let sleep take me and I prayed for sweeter dreams than my typical nightmares. I heard humming… from a distance. It soothed me. I couldn't tell what it was… but it seemed so familiar.

That night, the dreams were worse, worse than they had ever been before.

I was sitting with Grams. We were sitting on her couch. She just poured hot tea for the both of us: chai. She was taking a sip and blood started to run from her eyes. They turned crimson and black. She kept talking like nothing was wrong. I watched her, frozen. I couldn't move. I couldn't breathe.

She smiled, and her teeth fell from her mouth. Her eyes melted and boiled away.

"Grams," I choked out, finally able to move and do something. I got up and touched her face. I murmured the only healing spell I knew. After a moment, it seemed like it was working. Her eyes grew back, and the bleeding stopped. But, as I was chanting, her face became contorted and grew demon. She said something. Her words threw me from her. I flew into the wall and was trapped. She walked over to me, her face lethal.

She gave me a sickly smile and produced a small dagger from her shirt sleeve. It's the protection dagger she gave me the day before… before she died. She started stabbing herself, repeatedly, relentlessly. I tried to stop her and take the knife away. I couldn't move. Her spell held me there.

"This is because of you." She growled. I looked at her, mortified. "You did this… I performed the spell, for you." She snarled. She started to evaporate. Her skin cooked away, first. With each passing moment bits and pieces of her were being replaced with something demon. She started chanting. I can't understand her words; she's speaking something ancient and foreign. I don't need to understand to know that she is chanting something to kill herself with.

"Bonnie, wake up. Wake up."I heard a voice urging me. I opened my eyes and tried to sit up, but realized I had fallen asleep sitting up. I tried to move, but found I was cage by someone's arms. The arms let me go. I heard someone trying to sooth me. I got off of the bed and ran to the bathroom. I threw up. I rinsed out my mouth and dropped to my knees. I fought the urge to scream.

I felt the arms around me, again. They tried to help me up. I didn't want to move. I didn't want to do anything. They let me stay where I was, but stayed around me. I felt my body trembling.

"Let it out, Bonnie. Just, let it." I heard to voice whisper. The voice sounds so sure. The arms turned me around. I felt my face against someone's chest. My eyes are closed, I can't see anything. I took a deep breath and tried to calm myself… it didn't help.

"Let it out." The voice commanded, softly. I screamed. I screamed like I hadn't screamed before. I screamed for all of the pain that I feel. I screamed for the resentment and guilt that I always carry me. I screamed for loss and I screamed… because it was tearing me up inside not to. I'm not sure how long I screamed for.

Despite my screams, I heard footsteps pound up the stairs. I didn't hear anyone say anything.

"She's fine. She needs to do this. Just give us some time." I heard the voice command whoever came to the bathroom. I heard them walk away, slowly. I stopped screaming and just sat and let myself be held. The singing started… again. I was picked up, again… for the second time today. I knew I was being carried to my room. I fell into a dreamless sleep.

When I woke up, I was still being protected by the arms. I opened my eyes; they feel puffy and sore. I opened my mouth and took a shaky breath. My throat is painful. I blinked a few times and looked around my room. It's bright outside. I don't know what time it is, or what day it is. I shifted. The person holding me held me tighter. Who is holding me? Who helped me?...

My muscles ache from sleeping, sitting up. I need to stretch out and lie down. I gently moved the arms and got off of the person's lap. I looked up at the person. It was the last person I expected.

Damon looked at me with concerned eyes. He brushed hair out of my face and gently tucked it behind my ears. I didn't say anything. I just looked at him, grateful and confused. I laid down next to him. He watched me for a moment and laid next to me. He put an arm around me and just held me. I didn't sleep. I couldn't sleep… I just… I need to try and process things.

I know that Grams is gone. I know that I was a mess last night. But… somehow it still hasn't… hit yet.

"Do you want to talk about it?" He asked. I was enjoying to comfortable silence. I looked up at him. I don't understand why he would all of this.

"I don't… I don't even know what I'm feeling. Nothing makes sense." I told him quietly. He looked at me and nodded.

"She meant a lot to you. Losing her…. No one could expect that to be easy for you." He said. I nodded. But… so many people had. I'm not sure how I got over losing my mom. I know that Grams was a big part of that. But, now that I lost her, it feels like I've got nothing left.

"What am I supposed to do, now?" I asked him, quietly. He didn't say anything. Instead, he moved closer to me and ran his fingers through my hair, gently. I closed my eyes and enjoyed the sensation of his fingertips brushing my scalp. I still don't understand him… but maybe, I don't need to. AT least, not now.

He started humming that song again. I never knew that Damon could be this sweet. I'm grateful that he surprised me. I fell asleep. This time, when I woke up, I was pressed against Damon. He was hugging me to him. I looked up at him. His eyes are closed. It's dark in my room. I tried to move without waking him. I had little success. He opened his eyes and looked at me. I didn't say anything.

"You should eat something." He finally said.

"So you should you… probably." I told him. He rolled his eyes and smirked. Ladies and gentlemen, Damon Salvatore is back.

"I can go longer without eating than you can. It's been at least three days since you've eaten anything." He said. I looked at him in shock. I lost three days? Three Days? He stroked the side of my face, trying to calm my alarmed expression. It scares me how accustomed I've become to Damon's surprising affection. "Come on; let's get you something to eat." He said. He got off of the bed and gently lifted me to my feet. He took my hand and led me downstairs. I started to feel a little bit dizzy and lightheaded. I guess, I haven't really kept anything down for a few days…

"You need to get something, too." I told him. He looked at me and gave me a playful glare.

"Stop worrying about me." He told me; I didn't say anything. "I think you just want me to leave." He said, trying to goad me.

"No," I told him. He stopped walking and just looked at me. He gave me an unreadable expression, only one that he could give. He started walking, after a minute. He had me sit down at the kitchen island. He grabbed some things from the pantry and started cooking. When I asked him what he was making all he would tell me is that it was a surprise.

He gave me a steaming plate of fettuccini Alfredo. He sat next to me, making sure that I actually ate. Stefan walked into the kitchen. He eyed Damon suspiciously. Damon got up and whispered something to Stefan. Then, he turned to face me.

"I'm going to get something to… eat. I'll be back." Damon told me. He made a big deal about tell me. I smirked.

"Good, I told you that you needed something." I told him. He smirked.

"Nag, nag, nag… We aren't even married and she's already telling me what to do." He gave me an exasperated expression. I chuckled. He walked over to me and turned to look at Stefan. He looked at him, until he left the room.

"I will be back soon." Damon promised. I nodded.

"I know." I told him. He bent down and kissed the top of my head, before leaving. Stefan came back into the kitchen and we made small talk. He never asked me about the past couple of days, or why I was so comfortable with Damon.

Jenna and Jeremy came into the kitchen and took turns hugging me. I smiled at them. They looked worried when they first came into the kitchen. By the time they left, they looked relieved. Jeremy stayed with me longer than Jenna. I got the feeling that he was going to ask me about Damon. Stefan got him to leave the kitchen before he could. I gave him a grateful look. Here comes the talk.

"Bonnie, I know what you're going through right now…" he started. That's just it, he doesn't know. "I know that Damon's helping you through… this. I just, I don't want you to get hurt. I know how he is… I don't want you to get hurt by one of his schemes." Stefan said, steadily. I gave him a look that could kill.

"I don't know what he's doing… but it helps… having him around. You have to give him some credit, sometime." I told him. Stefan just looked at me. His eyes flashed and he opened his mouth to speak. I shut my eyes.

"Don't you dare use your compulsion on me." I growled. I opened my eyes and he already looked resentful.

"You could let me take some of your pain away…" Stefan suggested.

"No," I told him. I kept my answer simple. Damon waltzed into the kitchen. He looks better and stronger than he had. The blood rejuvenated him. I tried not to think about where he got it or who he took it from. He looked from me to Stefan, sensing tension. He walked over to me and put an arm around me. I didn't hide my shock. Stefan looked more surprised than I do.

"I think… you should get out of here, for a bit." Damon said. I didn't say anything. I got off of the bar stool I was sitting on. He used the arm around me to pull me closer to him. He grabbed my jacket and slipped on some vans. He moved his arm so I could my jacket on. We left.

Author's Note: I know this is kind of a short chapter. But, I think this was a good stopping point. Thoughts are welcome! :^)
Just hit that magical, little review button! LOL

Hugs and Junk,
-Anneryn