Mercurial opened their eyes. The sun was rising, bathing their surroundings in a soft, golden light. The Vengeful Spirit was still asleep. She looked peaceful while sleeping, relaxed. As soon as she was awake, she'd be fierce and deadly. Driven by the wish for revenge.

It was rare to see her like this and the Spectre kept watching her. She was so beautiful and they almost reached out to touch her. Her skin seemed to be so soft, her hair even more so, and even the remains of her wings appeared to be smooth. It was amazing that someone so deadly and hard could look so undeadly and mild.

A frown appeared on Shendel's face, announcing her awakening. Their eyes met and the Spirit sighed. "Good morning."

It made the Spectre smile. It was so nice not to wake up alone, to have someone around. But the following words made the smile disappear.

Shendel turned onto her back, staring into the sky. "I dreamt of the Skywraths. I'm sorry." She closed her eyes, pressing her mouth into a hard line. There was so much fury crammed into this one creature but she held it in check. Until she needed it. "I'm sorry, I can't go into a town war with you now. I need to hunt them."

Mercurial was lost for words. Fear crept up, fear at losing themself again. They didn't want to be alone. They were sure they'd forget everything again, just like before. One day, they knew, the memories wouldn't return. One day, even if Shendel came back, they wouldn't remember her anymore. They wanted to beg the Spirit to stay, not to leave them alone. But they didn't. Who were they to stand in the way of the Vengeful Spirit?

One didn't hold a friend on a quest back. One didn't hinder a friend. One should always help and support a friend, not think about one's own fears and troubles. Besides, begging would be weak. They were the Spectre, they didn't want to beg for anything. So they suppressed the rising fear. "Okay."

"I'll come looking for you as soon as I feel like I did enough. I'll come looking for you when I'm done."

…

"I'll come looking for you when I'm done."

Mercurial smiled. "I'd like that. Town wars with you are good."

"I'm sorry, but I have to do this."

"Don't worry, I'll be fine." They were still smiling, not bothered by the fact that Shendel would be gone for a while. They'd use the time and try to find more information about their own past. Couldn't hurt to continue digging occasionally.

With a wave and a smile, the Vengeful Spirit left.

The next day Mercurial had forgotten what they had wanted to do. They roamed the countryside, sure that there had been something, but not able to remember. Two days later, they had forgotten their name.

…

Heart heavy with worry and fear, the Spectre watched the Spirit leave. How could they make sure to remember? There was no way as long as they didn't know what caused the oblivion. They decided to try to write it down. Everything they remembered. But hadn't they done that before?

…

A pile of papers, filled with notes. Mercurial read it but it was like a tale, written by someone else. They didn't remember doing any of this, experiencing any of this. Had they really written it? There was their name, signed underneath every single sheet.

The memory of writing them was there, vaguely. Not all of this, maybe the last two pages, the things written down there they remembered. But not the rest.

Reading it again and again didn't change anything. This was pointless. Reading their memories didn't bring them back. It only made Mercurial more desperate, seeing what they had lost. How should they ever be able to find their past when they couldn't even remember incidents from the last week?

…

There was no use in writing. They did it anyway. They didn't want to forget Shendel. They did anyway.

Every morning they read what they had written. And every morning they were gripped by sadness. They didn't know how long it had taken to forget everything, but it couldn't have been much more than a few weeks.

They read their name and the name of their friend, but it didn't tell them anything. There were no memories left. Nothing except this sadness and the longing to find something. Anything.

It could've been a year. They had copied the paper with the story about the Vengeful Spirit at least once because the material wasn't made for being carried around and read all the time.

The Spirit hadn't come. Maybe it was only a story and not a memory. Maybe it was all a lie. They couldn't know, couldn't be sure.

But since there was nothing to do about any of it, it didn't really matter. They had given up. They wouldn't find their memories, they were too long lost by now. They just lived from day to day now, alone and sad.

The story held a promise, from a Vengeful Spirit to come back. It took her too long.

When the Spirit appeared one day, the Spectre didn't recognize her. When the Spirit told who she was, they only had the story but nothing else. And so the sadness remained.

For days and days, the Spirit tried to help. It was no use. She had been gone for too long, the memories didn't come back.

The Spectre was so sorry but they couldn't change it. It had been predictable, they guessed. The way the Spirit acted, she hadn't predicted it. Not like that. Maybe a week after she had returned, she cried. And the Spectre's heart ached. They didn't want this beautiful creature to be sad, so they sat beside her and hugged her close. They petted her hair, marvelling in the softness of it. They stroked over her exposed back, the skin so warm against her palms. They ran their fingers slowly through the blackened feathers at her back. Had they ever touched the Spirit like that?

They wanted to remember, but there was nothing. And so they just held the Spirit as she cried, and murmured soothing words. "Maybe we can just create new memories", they said. "Maybe we don't need the old ones. You can just tell me all about yourself and if you don't leave me, maybe I won't forget it again."

"I'm so sorry I left." The Spirit sniffed, tears still running down her cheeks. "I didn't think I'd be gone this long and I didn't think you'd be this bad when I come back. You always wanted to find out more about your past, not forget the remaining things, too."

"I don't think I'm able to find anything. I don't even remember my name. When you say it, I'm still not sure it means me. How will I ever be able to find anything from my past? Things that happened so many years ago, without me knowing when or where to search." They shook their head. "It's gone. Now, tell me your story."

The Vengeful Spirit did. Her voice was still teary but the more she spoke, the calmer she got. The story began cheerful, the life of a skywrath princess at court. It didn't take long to change, though. It was a mournful story, of a betrayed princess, her lost family and a friend unworthy to be called such. A fallen princess, out to seek revenge for the betrayals she had suffered. Some of the revenge had been executed, but not all, not by a long shot.

"I met Dragonus," Shendel said. "He apologized, as he always does. I asked him for information, asked for the whereabouts of some of the skywraths. He told me without hesitation. Said he'd do anything to show me how sorry he is. Said he'd do anything to help me get my revenge. I'm not sure if he is aware of the fact that it includes him, too. My revenge won't be complete as long as he is alive."

The Spectre was still petting the Spirit, had done so through the whole story. They had probably heard this all before but it didn't sound the least familiar. "Maybe he knows." It was just a thought, a feeling.

"Yes, maybe he does."

That only made Shendel cry again. Strange, the Spectre thought. Why did she cry about someone who had betrayed her? Or who hadn't helped her against the ones who had betrayed her? Even if he had been a friend, didn't actions like that erase the friendship?

It was difficult for them to understand the Spirit. They understood why she was sad but they didn't understand why she felt torn when she spoke about the Skywrath Mage.

They understood on the day the Skywrath Mage found them. He hovered near their camp, unsure if he should approach. The Spectre recognized him immediately, not from the description Shendel had given them, but from the way the Skywrath looked at the Spirit. It was amazing, how the mage was able to put pity, love and guilt into one single gaze.

The Vengeful Spirit in contrast showed nothing of her feelings. Her features were blank as she approached the Skywrath.

"Dragonus. What do you want?"

The man hesitated. He looked at the Spectre, who had followed Shendel.

"I have news. About someone you are looking for. News with which you'll be able to get her."

Shendel didn't answer. Just stared. And for a second, the Skywrath Mage faltered under this gaze. But then he took a deep breath and visibly hardened himself. He told the Spirit everything he knew and only at the end, when she turned away from him without a response, did the mage crack. "I love you." It was a solemn statement, and he knew that he wouldn't get an answer.

Since she had already turned around, only the Spectre saw the pain that flitted over the Spirits features. She kept walking, not looking back or reacting to the words.

With a heavy sigh and probably the beginning of tears gathering in his eyes, the Skywrath Mage left.

The Spectre was sure of many things now. The man loved Shendel, with everything he had. He knew that this love would kill him in the end. And he was ready for it. He wanted to prove his love. Since he hadn't done it right before, he wanted to do it right now.

Suddenly there was a longing in their heart. A longing for love like this. Not only to be loved, but to love, as well. It would make them feel alive again.

When they sat down next to the Spirit, they saw that Shendel knew it all, too. And though her friend had been horrible, when she had been betrayed, though he hadn't behaved like a friend, she still loved him. Or maybe she just loved him now, the Spectre couldn't know that.

"This time I want you to accompany me. I have to act on this information, I have to take revenge, but I won't leave you alone again. You've been a good friend and I don't want to leave you like this. I feel bad enough about the fact you forgot everything about yourself while I was gone. That won't happen again."

It wasn't as if they had anything else to do. Without even the tiniest memory, they could only float around and, don't know, watch the landscape.

That was how the Spectre followed the Vengeful Spirit, as she killed skywrath after skywrath on her desire for vengeance. The Spectre didn't help, but they watched. They liked watching the Spirit because she was amazingly beautiful. Graceful and her movements effortless, determined and fast, she was a breath-taking sight. So much so that everything else faded into the background.

"I am filthy." Shendel peeled her blood-soaked clothes off. They were back at their camp, near the place the Spirit had found the Spectre. They had come back to it every time, probably due to the fact that the Spirit didn't have a home to return to. The camp in these hills was secluded and quiet and the landscape was nice.

And, maybe, it was also because Dragonus now knew where to look for Shendel. She didn't say it, but after the Skywrath Mage appeared for the third time, the Spectre was sure it was a reason.

Completely naked, the Spirit grabbed her clothes and weapons and headed to a small stream nearby. The Spectre watched her until she disappeared behind a tree. She had the most perfect body of all creatures they had ever seen.

Not sure why, they followed her and sat down by the side of the water. Shendel ignored them as she scrubbed the dirt and sweat and blood from her skin. The water had to be cold but she didn't show any discomfort. When she tried to get at her back and her wings, the Spectre stood up and waded into the water.

Shendel smiled as she saw them and turned her back, standing very still as the Spectre began to wash her. They took their time, first rubbing the skin between her shoulder blades clean, dripping water over he back. Next were the wings. Though they were broken, blackened and merely the sad remains of the once proud wings of a skywrath princess, they were still smooth. And very beautiful as the light flickered over the feathers, making them shimmer in dark colours, if one cared to look close enough. The Spectre cared, and they stroked through the feathers as they removed all the dirt, marvelling at the softness against her fingertips.

The wings were long clean and the Spirit already started to shiver in the cold water. With a last touch, the Spectre stepped back. Shendel sighed and smiled at them. "Thank you."

For a moment there, the smile did something to the Spectre. It warmed them, from the inside out. It was a strange feeling, yet somehow familiar. They were sure they had felt it before, and it had been connected to Shendel back then. They didn't exactly remember anything, but there was this feeling that it wasn't new. Nothing about this was new.

The memory was in Shendel's eyes, though. Whatever they had been, they had been more than simple friends. Or was it their imagination? Maybe hopeful thinking. But then, the way the Spirit looked at them, it was special. With others, no matter whom she looked at, she only had this expressionlessness, or at most disdain. She smiled at no one else. She never showed any kind of emotion except anger, never let herself be vulnerable with anyone else.

With another sigh, the Spirit left the water and the Spectre followed.

...

The Spectre woke with a start. It was pitch black night around them and they needed a moment to orientate themself. They didn't know what had woken them, a dream maybe. They didn't know when they had last dreamed, but they felt uncommonly restless. What had the dream been about? What a surprise, they couldn't remember.

Only vaguely the shape of the Vengeful Spirit was visible a few feet away. She was sleeping, her light hair grey in the night. It soothed the Spectre to see the Spirit, but as much as they tried, they couldn't fall asleep again. Since the presence of Shendel often helped, the Spectre got up, took her bed stuff, and moved it closer to the sleeping Spirit. They moved as close as possible without actually touching her, then lay down again. They were facing her, though they couldn't make out much in the darkness. It was better now, but not enough to make them sleep. So they reached out, searching until they found the Spirit's hand. They interlaced their fingers with hers and sighed as they almost instantly relaxed.

Without commenting on the change of sleeping arrangements during the night, the Vengeful Spirit prepared breakfast. They both didn't need to eat, not really, but the Spectre liked the taste of food, especially when Shendel had made it. She was extremely good at cooking. Strange, considering her upbringing. She would probably never have had to cook during her time as skywrath princess.

"Today I'll try to get to the last ones that were involved in my betrayal and my death. I assume you'll join me?" Shendel didn't look up from where she was stirring whatever was in the pot above the fire.

"Yes." They wouldn't stay behind alone.

"When I find them, my revenge will be over."

That… "What will happen then?"

The Spirit stopped the stirring. "I don't know."

"But, don't you have to kill the Skywrath Mage first? Before your revenge can truly be over?"

She didn't answer to that. The Spectre watched the Spirit but they couldn't decipher what she was thinking or feeling. If Shendel wanted the revenge to be over, she didn't have a choice. But then, if she loved the Mage, it was probably not that easy.

The Spectre stayed quiet. They didn't want to upset the Spirit.

"Mercurial," Shendel asked as they were about to leave the camp. "Have you ever been in love?"

It was a strange question, considering that the Spectre didn't remember anything from before they had met the Spirit. They tried to remember, though, if they had a feeling connected to the word. The only creature that came to their mind was Shendel. Since it was the only creature they currently had any kind of bond with, it wasn't surprising, but also not representable. They couldn't know if this was love since they had nothing to compare it with. It was possible they would feel the same about any creature they were close to.

"I don't know."

The Vengeful Spirit nodded. "I love you, you know? And I'm glad you are by my side. Whatever will happen when I have finished my revenge, I'm glad you will be with me."

The words made the Spectre smile. They stepped closer and hugged Shendel. They wished they could say something as nice to her in return, but they were too unsure about what their emotions meant, so they decided to say nothing. They simply hugged the Spirit close, until she circled her arms around the Spectre and rested her forehead against their shoulder. They stayed like that for a long while before the Spirit sighed and broke the hug.

"Let's get this over with."

It was over astonishingly fast. The skywraths didn't know what hit them and the Spectre was again washing the bloodied wings of the Spirit in the cold water. They didn't speak, didn't ask what would happen next. There was only one skywrath left who had to die. One. But this one would be the hardest.

Shendel was completely absent-minded. She barely reacted to the cold water, as if she didn't feel it at all. She barely reacted when the Spectre took her by the hand and led her back to the camp. This wasn't good at all. She didn't talk, just lay down on her bed and stared at the sky, which grew slowly dark over them.

Unsure what to do or say to her, the Spectre simply lay down next to her, so close they were almost touching, but not quite.

They woke up in the middle of the night. Shendel was restless, her sleep fitful and she tossed and turned next to the Spectre. Not wanting to wake her, they slowly stroked over her wings as she was turned away from them. They let their fingers softly glide over the feathers, then, when Shendel didn't wake up, brushed her palm over them. They repeated the motion and the Spirit actually calmed down. Her breathing evened out and she lay still.

The night was quiet around them, the moon shining through the clouds and bathing everything in a soft silver light. Shendel's wings were a deep black while her hair was so very light. Since they were awake anyway, and the Spirit seemed to like the way the Spectre caressed her, they moved their hand to her hair. It looked amazing and they itched to touch it.

It was as soft as the wings, softer than hair should be.

"Dragonus?" The Spirit turned around, her eyes barely open, her voice scratchy from sleep. She recognised the Spectre before they could answer. Shendel sighed. "Sorry, it felt almost like back then." She sighed again and closed her eyes. "Mercurial." It was a murmur, almost inaudible, before she scooted closer and slung an arm around the Spectre.

It took the Spectre a moment to process what had happened, then she realized it was rather uncomfortable, the way they were lying half on their back, half on their side and their arm stuck between them. But Shendel had fallen back asleep and it was rather nice to have her cuddled close like this. With a bit of careful shifting the Spectre found a half-decent sleeping position.

Shendel was absent-minded the next day as well. She was probably thinking about what she was about to do.

"Do you really have to kill the Skywrath Mage?"

At first the Spectre thought they wouldn't get an answer to it. Maybe that was for the best, asking the question had been stupid to begin with.

"I don't know." The words were very quiet, laced with a deep-rooted sadness. "I mean, if I don't, then I'll stay like this" she waved her hand up and down her body once, "forever. A restless spirit."

"But, you said you don't know what will happen when your revenge is over. Maybe you'll stay a spirit, then as well. Or maybe you'll vanish." That would be the worst that could happen. Because for sure the Spectre would be lost without Shendelzare. What would they do without her?

Now Shendel looked up. She stared at Mercurial with wide eyes. "I don't want to vanish." But as she said the words, the Spectre could see how the Spirit saw it as a possible outcome. It could just be the truth. "No." Where there had been indecision on her features before there was now determination. "I won't leave you."

The Skywrath Mage chose this exact moment to appear next to the camp. When he saw the Vengeful Spirit, he flinched slightly. He probably took the determination for a clue as to what awaited him. That he nonetheless stepped forward and squared his shoulders spoke of the fact he was prepared for it. He had come here knowing full well that he'd die.

He had to love Shendelzare a lot to wilfully die to bring her peace.

Mercurial felt a yearning for someone like that. Someone who would sacrifice all for their happiness.

"No." Shendelzare stood up. She pointed her finger at the Skywrath Mage. "Leave us."

"I came here to give you the last skywrath you have to take revenge on is. Myself."

"I know why you are here. It is stupid. What do you think will happen now?" The Spirit approached the Skywrath, her eyes shining with fury. "Do you think I'll tell you how much I love you and that I'm not able to kill you?"

Now the Mage backed away. He was clearly afraid, though he tried not to show it. "No, that's not what I think."

"Then what? You want me to kill you? So you won't have to think about how you betrayed me? Make it easy on you?"

"I…" He was stopped by a tree at his back. But the Spirit didn't stop. She leaned as close as possible without touching him. "No. That's not how..."

"Get away. I won't kill you today, but it has nothing to do with you. And I just might change my mind." Her eyes were blazing, her hair was wild, her broken wings were spread as far as they would go, her fists were clenched and her whole body was tense. Her voice dropped. "Leave us." Without looking at him again, the Spirit stalked back to the camp where Mercurial was watching the exchange.

They didn't know what to make of it, until Shendel dropped to her knees in front of them. She ignored the Skywrath Mage, and the Spectre was too captivated by the Spirit to care about his presence. She reached out with one hand and touched her fingers against Mercurial's cheek. "I won't leave you."

The yearning the Spectre had felt only a few moments before intensified but this time it was directed at one specific creature. And it was no yearning for sacrifice anymore, because that was what this beautiful spirit in front of them was doing right now. She was sacrificing her revenge, her freedom, to be able to stay with Mercurial.

It took their breath away, made their heart soar and their stomach flutter. And before they knew what they were doing, they leaned forward and pressed their lips against Shendel's. They closed their eyes, consumed by a wave of something, something they had never felt before.

As they separated Shendel smiled. This breath-taking smile she only ever used for Mercurial.

"I'm sorry." The voice interrupted them and the Spirit frowned. The Skywrath Mage was still there, by the camp. "I didn't understand. I…" He took a deep breath. "I'm sorry for coming here. I won't bother you again. You know, it was never meant to be for me, either if you killed me or not. It was for you, because all I ever wanted was for you to be happy. I always wished I would be a part of this happiness, but ultimately it doesn't matter." He smiled, a little sad, but for the first time the Spectre thought he looked like he was at peace with himself. The Mage bowed, a formal act that was extremely proper, then he was gone.

Shendel stared at the spot, sadness on her features as well. "You know," she said, "I do love him. It's just, I'm not sure I can ever fully trust him again. I want to, but as long as the trust isn't there, love isn't enough." She turned back towards the Spectre. "I love you too, and I never wondered if I could trust you. It's…" She shook her head. "I feel torn sometimes." She looked as if she wanted to say more, but didn't know how to phrase what was on her mind.

"It's all right." Mercurial took Shendel's hand. "I don't mind that you love him. Like him, I only want you to be happy. And you don't have to feel torn, I will be by your side for as long as you want me to. No matter what you do or where you go, as long as you are in this world."

With a sigh, Shendel leaned close and kissed Mercurial.