Part 2

"Goddammit, someone tell me what's going on!"

Omi tugged at the scythe as he spoke. "We must battle for the scythe! But, surely you do not have any-

"Hey, wait a minute!" Dojo exclaimed. "I thought that looked familiar!" he pointed at Mr. Fuck in Johnny's hand. "That's the Eshu Effigy! It hasn't been activated, but it still counts as Wu!"

"Eshu what!?" Johnny demanded. "Mr. Eff is some sort of fucking mystical trinket?"

"Yep. Says right here in the Showdown handbook, unactivated Wu still count in a showdown. Game on!"

"Mr...Um, what was your name again?" Omi asked.

"Johnny."

"Johnny! I challenge you to a Xiaolin showdown! My Orb of Tornami against your Eshu Effigy!"

"...OK."

Omi looked around the room. "I challenge you to a No-Holds barred Cage Match! First one to tap out loses!"

"Uh, not much room for a ma-

"DO YOU EXCEPT!?"

"Okay, okay, I accept!"

"Let's go! XIAOLIN SHOWDOWN!"

The room flashed, and warped as the showdown took place. Boxes stretched and became part of a wrestling canvas, rope formed from nowhere, knives and blades formed a deadly cage around the ring. Omi, clad in Xiaolin armor, stood opposite Johnny, who gaped at the sight before him.

"What...the...Hell!?"

Dojo stepped in, clad in a referee uniform. "Yeah, it does this a lot. Anyhow, fighters; anything goes, anything you have as a weapon, you may use. If you tap out, or are pinned for a count of three, you're out!" He stepped to the side, ringing a bell.

"Gong yi tampai!" Omi shouted.

"What?"

"That means go!" Omi yelled, lifting up his Orb. "Orb of Tornami, Ice!" he called, and a blast of freezing water shot out at Johnny.

Johnny pirouetted to the side, the ice shooting onto the cage, forming a large hook. He pulled from his ankle holster a machete, and charged at Omi, screaming like a demon.

Omi paled. Never had an opponent used lethal weaponry in a showdown before. Nonetheless, he reacted.

"Orb of Tornami, Steam!" and the ring was filled with a thick mist. Johnny stopped.

"Where are you, you little fucker!?" he screamed angrily. "I'm gonna slice open that big, lemon head of yours!"

"Unlikely! Tornado strike, Ice!" Omi retaliated, and the steam froze, effectively freezing Johnny to the mat and surrounding him with razor ice shards. Omi flew at Nny, positioned for a felling kick. Unfortunately, Johnny's arms were not effectively frozen. He held out the knife.

Shink!

The blade pierced Omi's abdomen like a hot poker through snow. Off to the side, Rai fainted and Clay clutched the bars in half terror, half rage. "NO!"

Omi fell to the mat. Wearily, blood leaking from his gut and mouth, he dropped a hand to the floor.

-DING!-

The room reverted to it's original state. Johnny stood, holding scythe, Dough boy, and now, orb. However, Omi...

xxxxxxxxxx

Elsewhere, far from our heroes...

"GAHAHAHAHAHA!" cackled Evil Boy Genius Jack Spicer, as he often referred to himself. "At last, I've done it! Nothing can stop me now!"

Wuya flew in expectantly. "You've constructed something to defeat the Xiaolin monks?"

Jack turned, Game Boy Advance SP in hand.

"No, but I've constructed the most powerful Pokemon team in the world! I'll sweep the tournament league by storm!"

Wuya smacked her face in frustration. Or, mask. Whichever.

"Jack! Stop playing with your stupid games and look at this book!

Jack walked over reluctantly. "Gah, you just don't understand the intricacies of Po-

"SHUT UP!"

Jack shut up. She hovered to a very ancient looking book.

"What is it?"

Wuya grinned. "It, is our key to world domination!"

"Yeah...but what is it?"

"This book contains the summoning rites to thousands of demons, creatures from beyond this plane of existence! With it, we can control any number of omnipotent beings to do our bidding!" she cackled.

Jack was unimpressed. "Does it have illustration's?"

Wuya called over a JakBot to flip the book to page 786. Jack looked at the picture of Cthulhu.

"OH GOD, I CAN SEE FOREVER!" he screamed in agony, falling to he floor. Wuya had the Bot tear the page out and store it.

"That enough illustration for you?" she asked with contempt.

"MY MIND IS COLLAPSING ON ITSELF!"

"Oh, shake it off, you baby."

After a few moments of general agony for Jack, he worked his way back to the book.

"Now, Jack." Wuya said simply. "I'm feeling generous, so I will allow you to choose what demon we summon to bring the world into eternal darkness!"

"Excellent!" Jack exclaimed. "Let me see...Bartimaeus?"

"No, too inconsistent."

"How about D'Hoffryn?"

"Too pointy!"

"How about...this one?" Jack asked finally.

Wuya looked it over. "Oh yes. Yes, this will do nicely! Excellent choice, Jack!"

XXXX

A/N: Yes, I know. I am a terrible, terrible person. Now I have you in my power, and there is no escape! YOU MUST ALL READ OR PERISH FROM CURIOSITY!