Well, holy shit! I...wasn't expecting such a large number of followers and favorites within less than 24 hours. Thank you for your reviews, and hopefully as last time, enjoy!

Enkidu stopped at the final moment, its weapons inches away from Saber's face. "Master. I highly suggest that you allow me to eliminate the Saber servant now, before she finds a better master who can supply her with more mana." It telepathically said.

Rin smiled. "Don't worry, Lancer...I have an idea. Lancer. Do you sense any other servants around?" Enkidu replied telepathically, "Yes. I sense an extremely powerful servant...enough to trouble me, with so much rage...it should be Berserker."

The smile became smaller, as Enkidu could hear her mental laughs ringing across its ears, and it wondered what she had in mind. "Well, maybe they can test the waters for us. After all, I do somewhat know that boy...this should be all to easy."

"Shirou...I had no idea that you'd be in the Holy Grail War..." Rin said, as she chuckled a bit. Saber swung her invisible sword at Enkidu, who simply dodged it, and returned to its master's side. "My Master would like to have some words with you two before you attack us. After all..."

Enkidu steeled itself, and finished its point. "Your master doesn't have much knowledge of the Grail War, from what my Master said." Saber gripped her blade, her knuckles turning white as her instincts told her the last thing she should do would be to fight this green-haired servant, before lowering her weapon.

"I will consider, though I'd like you to elaborate on what I presume to be your terms. And inform that bugger of a master of the holy grail war. Bugger..." Saber mused. "Is this what people say nowadays?"

Rin looked at Shirou. "Besides, Saber, your master and I are classmates. It'd be quite sad if we came to blows, wouldn't it?" she said. Saber wondered if she actually was telling the truth. True, they were classmates, but even then, magi were not exactly normal in terms of their mindsets...

Shirou folded his arms. "Well, come into my house and have some tea. Maybe that'll calm both sides down. Oh and by the way, green haired person, I'm Shirou. Saber, this is Rin." Shirou said, before opening his door to motion them to come in. Enkidu looked towards its master, who nodded and walked in.

"So, first things first, would you like to explain to me what the Grail War is?" Shirou asked as he sat down. Rin sat down in front of him, with Enkidu sitting down besides her, who stared at the tea with much interest.

"Master, you don't seem to be in a hurry to want Saber, even though she's supposedly the strongest class." Enkidu thought to her. Rin smiled, before replying telepathically, "Seriously, it's not everyday you get to stumble upon a lancer class that doesn't just only have E rank luck, but can even raise it to EX rank if it wants to!" Shirou waved his hand in front of her face to catch her attention.

Rin then regained her focus. "Okay, first off, before we get to the basics, we need a few emergency warnings! First off, these tattoos, known as command seals, aren't candy! Use them all and Saber disappears! Do you want Saber to disappear?"

Shirou looked at the beautiful blonde right besides him. "...nooo? And what are the blue and green guys anyway? How are they so strong?" Saber turned towards him, before speaking in a manner that tried to be calm and refined.

"We are heroes of old, summoned to fight a bloody war for the Holy Grail." Saber said. Rin added in a rather unhelpful way, "And spoiler alert, it's just named the Holy Grail since it's cool, it's not actually the Holy Grail itself."

Shirou didn't seem to mind Rin's "useful" information, instead focusing on Saber's words, and began to fanboy, "You guys are heroes?! In a war here? Are you for real?! That's so cool!" Enkidu and Saber both said at the same time, "4 real."

Rin continued her lesson for Shirou. "The Holy Grail War is a tradition that has occurred in Fuyuki City for five times, this is the fifth time, fought between competent mages...and people like you."

Saber remembered Waver and even worse, Ryuunuoske, whom the latter didn't seem to display any magecraft as he was easily killed by Kiritsugu. "That's quite harsh, but I wouldn't call that untrue."

Shirou protested, "I'm a mage too!" Rin crossed her arms. "And how long did you train?" Shirou held his head down sheepishly. "Not...very long." he replied to her.

Enkidu looked at them. "But Shirou, do know that if you're truly a normal human being, I highly recommend you dropping out of the Holy Grail War. After all, the magi here are absolute monsters. Rin is already quite dangerous herself, and she's just a teenager. Imagine what damage an adult Rin could do."

Shirou couldn't exactly form it in his mind. "Let me get this straight. How...dangerous is Rin exactly? If she's a full-fledged mage, then that means she can do better magic than me, correct? Like Harry Potter?"

Rin sighed, and shook her head. "No, Shirou. You, can do magecraft. Only a caster servant would be able to do something that even resembles magic. AND NO! NOT HARRY FUCKING POTTER!" she yelled at him, as Enkidu raised an eyebrow.

"So..." Shirou began. "Is there a better explainer than you?"

Rin folded her arms. "Yeah, the Holy Church, my teacher, Kirei Kotomine." Saber gritted her teeth, while Enkidu simply had a nonchalant expression on its face. Saber sighed. "Yeah, I don't like the sound of him. I'm not going in, my instincts tell me no. He sounds catholic."

"Hello, Kirei! I brought someone to be psychologically brutalized by you! Have fun with that!" Rin said as she entered the church with Enkidu and Shirou, with Kirei hurriedly closing the door to his cellar, then coming to the chapel's center.

"Rin, what is so important that you must come over here at such a late night?" Kirei asked, before he noticed the command seals upon Shirou's left hand. "Oh...so I see, you brought a master to my presence, Rin. Is there anything that I may help you with? Do you plan on allying with him?"

Rin laughed, and shook her head. "I'd say that I'm undecided. It'd just be bad sport if I had my swanky servant...who is Ishtar, mind you, kill his servant so early in the war." Enkidu's left eye twitched as soon as it heard Rin call it Ishtar. True, it was simply a ruse, but being called the name of the perpetrator of its death didn't sit well with it.

"You cannot summon divine spirits, Rin. You of all people should know that." Kirei said, though he wondered if it actually would be possible with a few tricks. After all, Tokiomi could've left something to her that'd give her a sort of cheat device, being a part of one of the families who designed the ritual...but no matter, Gilgamesh could handle it.

"Well, why is my servant, telling me that she's Ishtar?" Rin said to Kirei. Kirei sighed, before directing his gaze towards Shirou. "Enough of that, Rin. I'd like to focus on the more important subject at hand. So..what have you come here for?"

Shirou replied, "I'm a mage. I'm a bit worried about dying." Rin added unhelpfully, "And he's a shitty mage at that. He doesn't know the difference between magic and magecraft."

Kirei replied to him, "Well, that's unfortunate. The Grail oftentimes pulls in stragglers to fill in the ranks of the other four that aren't part of the 3 main families. Last time, it was a serial killer. Are you...a serial killer?"

Shirou replied, "Well, not yet. I'm just a high school student." Kirei sighed. "Well, that's much less interesting. But to the point...I can offer you shelter and can transfer your servant to another master. However. I would like to have your name, so I can list you down with a unique title: the master who quit before a single servant died."

"Well, I'm not fond of your tone, but..." Shirou said to the priest, "Shirou Emiya."

Kirei's expression, at first bored, then slowly curved into a slight smile. He clenched his hand, to the point that one could hear the faint sound of fingers cracking. "Emiya...No way!" he murmured, before continuing "May you spell that?"

Shirou frowned, and spelled his name. "E - EM - I - WHY - A." Kirei smiled, as he then murmured to himself, "Lord Jesus, my faith in you has been restored, your love is everlasting." He then looked at Shirou right in the eyes, and began to speak.

"But about your wish..." Kirei said, as Shirou then frowned, surprised at the prospect of a wish. "A wish? What wish?"

Kirei chuckled. "Oh? Did Rin not tell you? The winner of the Holy Grail War, when 6 servants have fallen and one's servant is still standing, will have the chance to make a wish upon the Holy Grail." Shirou asked for clarification, "Any wish?"

Kirei confirmed his curiosity, "Yes...any wish." Shirou pondered for a second, before saying, "Like...to have superpowers and to save innocent people? Does that work?" Kirei chuckled, as he nodded slowly. "Yes. Even stupid ones. Surely staying in the Grail War, and subjecting yourself to its horrible, psychological and physical trials...is worth such an innocent and pure wish?"

Shirou sighed. "Well, you aren't wrong, Kotomine Kirei..."

Kirei chuckled. "Ooooh~, say my name once more, all distrustful like that." Enkidu frowned, and nudged Rin. "I don't know about you, but does this sound...what humans call...sexual?" Rin groaned. "Goddamnit, Lancer, you just had to make it weird."

Normally Kirei would tell Rin to not use the Lord's name in vain, but he was too induldged within Shirou's words, who said once more, "Kotomine...Kirei?" Kirei chuckled, and exhaled. "Oooh~, I love it..."

Shirou sighed. This priest must be catholic, but that didn't matter. "I choose to fight." Kirei's footsteps sounded around the chapel, as his voice that was so much like melted chocolate resounded once more. "Eeexcellent~"

"If this is what it takes to save innocents on a global level...then I choose to fight. I'm not going to let this chance disappear!" Shirou clenched his fist, as Rin mentally facepalmed while smiling at the same time, while Enkidu just gave a reassuring smile.

"I couldn't be happier with your decision," Kirei said as he approached the chapel doors, and opened it. "Shirou. Emiya."

Shirou looked at Rin and Lancer. "...I'm leaving. He's creeping me out."

The four walked across the streets, as Enkidu whispered telepathically to Rin. "I can sense the berserker. Once I give you a signal like...EE? jump into my arms, and I'll get to the furthest location possible."

Rin smiled. "C'mon, if you can even beat the bull of heaven with Gilgamesh and humiliate Ishtar by throwing that giant ass at her, I'm sure even Berserker wouldn't stand a chance against you...we should still see, though."

Shirou looked at Rin. "So...is this where we part ways? Or...should I say..." Enkidu mouthed the letters "E E" to Rin, and she jumped into its arms, the Lancer-class servant jumping off into the distance. Shirou frowned as the two of them went off. "What's their problem...?"

"Shirou! An enemy!" Saber yelled as her instinct told her that there was an enemy around. Shirou turned to see a hulking giant mass of muscle, with a little albino loli dressed in purple right beside the giant. "Oh my gosh...these abs...I want that..."

The little girl giggled, as she curtseyed. "Oni-chan~ you've noticed me finally. Allow me to introduce myself. My name is Illyasviel von Em-I mean, Einzbern. My long-dead parents referred to me as tiny murder machine. So I'd suppose that you'd be our first opponent of the war...well, how funny it is."

Illyasviel chuckled as she noticed that the servant standing before her was most likely a Saber servant. Her father had taken up a Saber servant and...given that he had promised to come back but never did...this didn't put her in a good mood.

"What's so funny?" Shirou asked, as he looked at the enemy steroid servant. Illya giggled. "Oh, it's just that the lot of you two..." she looked right into his eyes, sending shivers down his spine. "Will provide me with excellent entertainment."

"GAARRR!" Berserker roared as he jumped towards the two, and Saber blocked his strike with her invisible sword. Shirou, obviously excited and pumped up, started to fanboy. "OMG! How many years did he train for all that muscle mass? What kind of challenges did he go through? How many steroids did he inject?!"

Saber held Berserker back, as she looked backwards towards Shirou. "I've got this! You can either watch, or if you think you're good enough to take on the enemy master, go get her!...I recommend the former instead of the latter."

The two servants drew their weapons back for another parry, before Saber then attacked, only for her strikes to be blocked by the Berserker. Berserker roared as he struck downwards, right towards her invisible sword.

Analyzing the situation, Saber's instincts told her that Berserker was for now, far too close for comfort. Unleashing a mana burst, she pushed Berserker back with the shockwave, who then landed in a combat ready-stance.

Saber dashed forwards, parrying Berserker's wild and unkempt blows once more. For all the skill that he lacked, it was not a problem as his blows were so strong and fast that Saber found it hard to exploit them anyway, and could not afford to take many a blow.

Jumping over one of his wild swings, she then dashed around him, before parrying with him once more. Looking upwards, she saw him prepare to swing down, and she jumped to the side, before landing on the club, and pushing it downwards.

"Now before I take a liking to you...die!" Saber yelled, as her invisible sword approached his neck to lop his ugly head off. Berserker's red eyes darted to her hands, then let go of the club, before doing a flip-kick backwards, then punching and kicking her.

Saber landed on the grass, as she growled. "Okay, this is borderline hax. hax...I never used this type of word. Cheat? Why isn't berserker going berserk?" she muttered to herself, as she held her sword for another encounter.

"A ranked across the board except for his luck stat, which is a B...Lancer, what are your thoughts?" Rin asked as the two of them watched the fight from afar, with binoculars. Lancer looked at Berserker. "Well, I wasn't wrong when I said he was a big deal. I suppose a tactical retreat was the right choice."

Rin looked at Lancer, with a "really" look on her face. "You mean running." she said to her servant. Lancer coughed a bit, and let out a sheepish smile. "I suppose you can describe it as that way if you want to..."

Thinking about the war, she then remembered her father. "What was Gilgamesh like, Lancer?" Lancer let out a surprised expression, not expecting such a question out of the blue. "Master, I believe you don't need to focus everything on that topic. I'd willingly tell you my experiences, but still, we need to watch Berserker."

Rin put back on her binoculars. "Yeah, you've got a point there. But seriously...gosh, Saber does look pretty good. I'd hit that."

Saber jumped backwards as Berserker swung his club backwards, landing on the sidewalk and backing off into the graveyard, eyeing the albino loli before using mana burst to blast herself backwards. Illya looked at them.

"Well, Berserker will run over you, no matter what. You'll always be the victim of his traffic accident." she said, before she noticed the red haired-boy running over. "Stop! I'm going to have you to stop hurting...well, make sure you don't hurt anyone! And at this point, your servant is causing a lot of property damage!"

Berserker smashed the sidewalk in an attempt to catch Saber, almost as if to prove Shirou's point. Illyasviel turned towards him. "Oh, Oni-chan..." her words sent shivers down Shirou's spine, as she calmly walked towards him. "I'd presume you know someone by the name of Kiritsugu...Emiya."

Shirou replied with a tinge of defiance, "Wouldn't you like to know?"

Illya asked him, "so...is he still alive?"

Shaking his head, Shirou replied, "no."

Illya's eyes seemed to darken a bit, as her expression changed from a sense of sadistic curiosity to disappointment. "Oh. well, this is awkward. Oh hey, look." she pointed to Berserker bashing Saber's invisible sword so hard that she flew in to the air, before with his superior agility, he appeared right above her and slammed his club right into her armor, sending her shooting down right into the cemetery.

"Saber's getting beaten up. I think you should focus on that. Let's continue this conversation never." Illya said, before Shirou yelled, "Saber!" running towards her. Chuckling, Illya began to pull out her hair, forming animal familiars.

"Of all the words you could've chosen to say...you chose the most generic option, yelling someone's name." she said, before letting her animal familiars shoot at him. Shirou's eyes widened as he began to run, the blasts hitting the floor behind his feet.

"Hey! As a soon to be hero of justice...I cannot allow you to cause any more...PROPERTY DAMAGE! It was bad enough when Berserker did it, but that's Berserker, he can't even talk! Now you're doing it! That's enough to know that I have to save the property from you...and save you...from me. Well, that was awkward."

Illya looked at him. "You think you can stop me, onii-chan?" she giggled, as she stroked her bird familiar's wings. Shirou nodded. "Obviously! Once I get through your magic, you're toast! You may be a mage, but that means you must've neglected your body!"

"Oh, oni-chan..." Illya giggled, as the bird began rising up. "Kiritsugu must've taught you very little." Shirou's eyes glanced upwards, as a ball of energy shot towards him, and he leapt to the side, narrowly dodging the ball of energy.

"I want that..." he murmured to himself, before the bird then transformed into a sword, as it shot towards him, emitting a yell from him, before he began to run, with another white bird flying after him. "I'm warning you, I like cats! Especially big ones! Like lions!" he yelled, hoping that the mention of cats could scare the bird off.

Meanwhile, Saber looked as Berserker showed signs of almost stumbling upon the tombstones. She was right to take the fight to uneven ground, where Berserkers would have a harder time moving around when they were all focused on attacking.

Jumping up, she dodged another of his wild swings as he jumped up to follow her. As soon as she saw an opening, she swung her sword downwards at Berserker, mana-bursting to boost the blow, as she sent him hurtling down to the ground.

Berserker crouched on the floor, before rising up, still relatively unharmed. Saber looked at him. "Well, Berserker...you're quite a skilled and enjoyable opponent, even managing to see through my invisible blade, despite all that mad rage limiting your cognitive functions. Normally I'd ask for your identity..."

She then bent her knees, prepared to propel herself forward. "But since there's a chance of you being someone I knew back in my lifetime, and that you apparently can't speak, I'm going to pass!" she yelled, right before Berserker slammed his club onto the ground.

A wave of stone and dirt burst from the earth, showering the cemetary and disgracing the bodies of the dead, not that anyone cared. Charging through the wave, Saber emerged with only a small cut on her face from the debris, her armor having protected her from the blow, before stabbing her sword forwards.

"Seriously?!" she yelled as the dust cleared to reveal that Berserker had grabbed onto her invisible sword, preventing it from piercing him. He raised his club, as he then brought it down, holding her invisible sword in place in order to keep her in place.

Saber gritted her teeth. At this point, she only had two options seen to her. The first one would to try to tank a point-blank blow from Berserker. The second would be to let go of her sword, allowing Berserker to throw it away and rendering her weaponless for a while, and thus every part of her would be defenseless.

However, with her instincts, she then saw a third option. "Excaaaa..." Berserker gripped on the sword tighter, as it jerked it upwards to provide himself more space to crush her with his club. "LIIIIIII..." Berserker roared, before swinging the club down.

"POOOOOOOKE!" Saber yelled, as a bright but thin stream of light emerged from her sword, impaling and disintegrating Berserker's top half. Illya pointed at her. "King Arthur! Bur or Poke, I get it!"

Shirou's eyes widened. "Wait, King Arthur? But...isn't she a girl? Is it not Queen Arthur? Or Queen Saber? Or-AAAH!" another bird flew after him, sending him running once more. Illya rolled her eyes. "He didn't even know his servant's identity? What a loser."

She then noticed that Berserker was dead. "Oh my gosh, he's dead, what do I do now?" Saber landed in front of her, her blade positioned for the kill, as she looked at her. "I can only promise to give you a quick and dignified death, Einzbern. After all...I must win the grail."

Shirou ran after them, having somewhat shaken off the bird. "Saber! Wait! Don't kill her!" he yelled, as Saber glared at him. "Master! There is very little you understand in this war yet! Please, leave this to me!" she then redirected her gaze towards the Einzbern.

To Saber's surprise, the Einzbern wasn't trembling in fear. In fact, there were slight hints of giggles. "Oh, how unlucky of you, Saber." Saber's eyebrows creased, as she said one word. "What?"

Then a club slammed into her side, before an unearthly roar erupted from the mad warrior who had assaulted her once more. Shirou yelled once more, "Saber!" Saber landed right besides him, blood streaking her face and her body, as she then tried to rise up once more. "Saber! Didn't you kill him? I thought people die when they're killed!" Shirou yelled as he helped her up.

"Master...use your command seals. I want you to use one of them to power...my noble phantasm. Command Seals can be a mana source...therefore, use that." Saber said to him. Shirou frowned. "...how?" he asked, not knowing how to do so. Saber replied to him, "Just say something along the words of 'Saber, I order you to use your noble phantasm.'"

"Alright..." Shirou said, as the command seals on his hand glowed. "Saber...I command you to use your noble phantasm! Defeat Berserker for once and for all!" Saber's eyes glowed golden as she felt the surge of mana in her body, and she lifted her sword up. "Exxxx...caaaa...liiii...BUUURRRR!"

However, this time, to her surprise, Berserker didn't even try to dodge the blow, with the only warning she got was Illya's smirk. The beam of light crashed into the giant steroid man, and washed around him, before dissipating.

Saber's eyes widened. "...that's not...possible. When I used a powered-down version...you died...why isn't he dead?" Illya let out the cutest yet an extremely psychotic giggle, before walking forwards, touching Berserker's hand.

"That's his noble phantasm, god hand. In life, Hercules accomplished 12 labors that would normally take away any man's life, and this manifests as his noble phantasm: giving him 12 lives. So in short, you'll have to kill him 12 times...and no, you can't use the same method twice. I'd consider him to be quite lucky that he took that small dose of Excalibur that only took away one life so he could tank the full-on shot that could've had a chance of taking more than 4 of his lives...consider it to be akin to a vaccine." Illya said.

Saber gritted her teeth, as she looked at them. "why...are you telling us this?" she asked, as her knees gave way from the mana drain. Illya cupped her chin, before lifting it up to eye level. "Because I know that you won't ever tell anyone about it."

Rin and Enkidu's eyes widened as more craters appeared in the graveyard. "Okay...Lancer...that was...what do you think? Do you believe you can beat him?" Lancer nodded. "I have faith in myself. However, I do not believe that I will come out unscathed or at least draining you of significant mana."

Rin nodded. "Alright. I suppose our best course of action would be to team up with the other servants to beat him. I'm thinking Cu chulainn...irish hercules against the Hercules...that would be cool." Enkidu looked at Berserker stuffing Saber's disappearing body into a hole and puting a tombstone on it, before returning its gaze to its master.

Concluding, Rin crossed her arms. "We'll find all of the servants first. And we'll make it look like to Berserker that we're a threat...so he won't attack us and this area for a few days to buy us time." she giggled, and put her hand on Enkidu's shoulder. "That'll be on you, Lancer."

Enkidu frowned. "Wait, Master...me? What...exactly am I supposed to say?" Rin shook him. "Just say something cool, damnit! Make yourself look like a badass, and make it seem like that he can die when he's killed!"

"Understood, Master."

Another thought came to Rin's head. "Also, save Shirou...and don't ask why."

"why?" Enkidu asked, only eliciting a glare. "Very well."

Meanwhile, Berserker held Shirou by the shoe and hoisted him high up, while Illya had a stick and a blindfold on her head as she tried to hit Shirou. "Let me down, damnit! I'm not a piñata!" Shirou yelled before a stick collided with his head and knocked him out. If he wasn't knocked out, he would've felt a sudden burst of wind as he was separated from his shoe.

Illya spun around as she took off her blindfold. "What?! Another servant?" Enkidu held Shirou, as Rin put her hands on her hips. "Hm..." she had a smug look on her face, before she then looked at Enkidu. "Lancer."

Lancer dropped Shirou. "Right, my cue. So...it seems that you'd killed Saber, haven't you?" Illya nodded. "yes, Berserker did it." A slow clap resounded from the servant, as it then looked at Illya in the eyes, giving her a sense of insecurity, as she steeled herself.

"Well, I applaud your berserker. I'll be taking this boy, as my Master has some sort of connection with him. He, after all, is just a high schooler who doesn't know anything..." It said, as Berserker emitted a low growl from its mouth.

"Oh, no. I won't fight you today." Enkidu said, as Berserker lowered its club. Illya frowned, and asked, "What's your deal here?"

Enkidu said, without a tinge of smugness or fear, in an ambivalent tone, " Such a powerful mage as you, Einzbern could possibly be capable of regenerating this servant's lives, correct?" It said as it helped Rin in dragging Shirou, kicking a can out of the way, only for it to bounce off a pole and hit Shirou instead. "Ow!"

Illya nodded. "Yes..." she said, watching the green-haired servant walk away from them with Rin dragging Shirou. It then turned back to look at them. "When Berserker's got all of his lives back...come back and fight me. It'd be a shame if he couldn't bring out his best."

Gathering both Rin and Shirou in its arms, Enkidu jumped off into the distance. Illya glared at them, as numerous worrisome thoughts clouded her head. "Who is this servant...this servant actually challenged Berserker tp fight at its fullest, instead of attacking while Berserker didn't have all of his lives back?...Which servant did the Tohsakas summon this time?!"

Placing Shirou in his bed, Enkidu looked at Rin. "If you see him tomorrow, what would you do?" Rin crossed her hips. "I'll just act like nothing happened, and pretend I don't know what he's talking about. He'll just wipe it off as a dream."

"You look like you've had a good night, Kirei." a rich, young voice belonging to a blond man said in the chapel. "Has the news of another Emiya, unleashed some new, hedonistic, nostalgic hormones slash pleasure within you?" Kirei smiled, in a creepy fashion that only a pedophilloic catholic priest would.

"Yes...as a good father, I must be...attentive, to a son." Kirei replied. Gilgamesh straightened his jacket. "I wonder what your daughter would think of him. after all, it would be quite ironic if they ended up screwing each other, wouldn't it?"

Kirei sighed. "Gilgamesh, such dirty thoughts do not belong in the house of God." Gilgamesh retorted, "I could bind that invisible mongrel! Just you wait!" Kirei sighed. "Whatever. It seems that it really might be Ishtar...after all, that maiden-I wouldn't say maiden, considering she's the goddes of love and sex...but that woman, does look quite fine."

Gilgamesh raised an eyebrow. "What did she dress like?" Kirei replied, "A simple white tunic...maybe to cover up herself to make her seem unassuming and less probable of being Ishtar."

"Hair color? Any weapons?" Gilgamesh asked. The response was a simple "Green. No weapons."

The news of this sent a flash of glee in Gilgamesh's eyes, as he then rose up, taking a swig of wine.

"Either it's you, my old friend...or it's that bitch."

Well, I suppose that ends the chapter there. I've checked for mistakes or any signs of OOC, but I don't know if I've caught all of them. If there are, please either review or PM me, do give all criticisms that you want. Note: I should've clarified this last chapter, but please exclude things that Abridged!Characters would say and OG!Characters wouldn't say.

But anyway, what do you think? Please review, I'd love to hear what you think and I'll try to reply to reviews in the next chapter.

Now for response to your reviews:

ian25rebel: "Any sign of OOC? Considering that you pulled off a few abridged moments that I recognized, this story was quite interesting. Let's see best clay in action."

Alright, Ian25Rebel...yeah, she's more like Abridged!Rin than normal Rin (whom I think the former is more Rin than OG Rin). Also, it's not gay if it's clay.

KiroZen: "So what are the servants' classes? Which ones changed to what?"

They're still mostly the same. It's just that Rin has now summoned Lancer Enkidu, while Bazzet summoned an Archer Cu Chulainn who then got stolen by Kirei. All of the other classes are the same, it's just that lancer and archer have been switched around.

PoseidonisPlayz : "Between the use of the Abridged equivalent of the Nasuverse characters, which makes this like 20x funnier, and the fact that you used Enkidu, one of the coolest Servants in the Nasuverse in my opinion, this is probably one of the best fanfics I've read in a while.

Especially since it's well-written, and you didn't just cross-off Cu and replaced him since he was a lancer."

Thank you for enjoying this, I personally find some abridged characters (like Rin) to be more memorable than their OG counterparts.

I did think about crossing off Cu, but then I remember that Bazzett really wanted to summon Cu ever since she was a kid, and since an archer version him was possible according to Fate/accel/royal or something(can't remember the name)...I decided to have a bit of fun with that. Apparently throwing stuff makes you an archer.

Superpierce: "it's impossible to summon Divine spirits they would be to much for the Grail Rin knows this she's been studying the mechanics of the holy grail war under Kirei."

You're exactly right, Kirei addressed that in the first chapter. However, I did say that Rin was based on Abridged!Rin instead, and in the abridged version she calls Archer "actually Satan," who would theoretically be a divine spirit, which makes Rin mistaking Enkidu to be Ishtar more of a joke based on another joke.

ZenoZen: "funny and enjoyable. See you soon on next chapter."

Thank you, I hope i'll see you on the next review.

StringofRandomNumbers: "This is turning out to be quite interesting."

I'd suppose that I'd agree.

Frozen Flame: "Enkidu in what I dearly hope is the UBW Abridged verse. You have my attention."

Yes, it KINDA is the UBW abridged verse, but due to fundamental differences such as Archer not being there and Saber being taken out early, therefore Shirou loses a lot of importance in the war, it'll turn out to be a bit different.

Suzululu4moe: Lol I like her attitude. Ahah her misunderstanding of his identity."

Yes, and I intentionally wrote her to misunderstand in the worst possible way(Enkidu doesn't like Ishtar, to clarify).

Ivan Tridelan

"Interesting concept, and one I don't think has been done before.

As far as OOC issues...
1) Shirou going "Ooh, shiny!" Really?
2) Saber's "BRB" isn't even remotely in character. In canon she says something along the lines of "Please stay here, I will deal with the enemy" Also, her saying to "not use command seal to destroy the grail" doesn't make sense since canonically she tries to pretend she's a normal servant with a complication involving her summoning as an excuse to not be able to astralize.
3) Rin using the F word completely breaks her character. With the potential exception of being around Luvia she likes to conduct herself with "the grace and elegance befitting a Tohsaka" (though being around Shirou's compulsive stupidity takes its toll on that attitude, that doesn't develop until after they start interacting during the war)"

Thank you, I don't know if it's been done before...but whatever. Now to your Issues...1), I'll take that, admittedly that was played for laughs, but still, I'll take it. You probably should've elaborated on that instead of just "really," but I understand what you're trying to convey.

However, for 2) and 3) I'm going to assume that you disregarded my warning that this is far more like the abridged series than the OG series because I find the abridged series to be FAR more memorable at least in terms of dialogue, because that sounds like it right now. I'm really not sure how I feel about filling out 1k words in replying to your reviews because I had to clarify that it's based far more on the abridged series than the original series because if I have to do this every chapter, it's going to become a pain in the ass even when I put a notice at the top of the chapter. But onto your individual points...Saber's "BRB" is due to her recieivng new knowledge about modern slang, and just like in the abridged series, she uses it, with awkward results at times. Her references to fate zero are also a reference to UBW abridged where she makes some pretty funny references. Rin's use of vulgarity is far more apparent in the abridged series, as one of the first words she says to archer is "DO NOT FUCK WITH ME!" and since this is based more on the abridged series by Project Mouthwash than the original, I rest my case.

Hrosanna: "I feel like this is gonna be such a train wreck and I love it. You've got a sort of funny spin going which doesn't suspend disbelief and interesting character interactions that promise future payoff even this early on. It's such a great feeling when you catch on to ch 1 of something this promising just past posting :)"

By train wreck, I'm assuming you mean that it's going to be chaotically hilariously interesting...and yes, I will keep on with the fate-related humor.