I decided that my best shot at happiness would be to go to my mother's house. I knew that if I was to return home without Tracy, my life would have been sure to come to an early end. So I got out two crumpled items from my pocket- a five dollar note, and the piece of paper with my mum's address that I had taken from my father's study.
Despite being only a small child, I was quite independent and was able to make my way around on my own. I had used the bus several times alone, and that was what I did that night. I knew that I would easily be able to work out which stop to get off at, so I made my way to the nearest bus shelter and waited for the bus to come.
As I sat on the bus, I let my mind wander. I thought about my father, wondering what had happened to turn him into a monster. I thought about my mother, puzzling over what had made her leave Tracy and I in our time of need. And then I realised. It was love, and the withdrawal of it, that had turned my family against one another. It was when happiness, affection and joy were taken out of one's life that hearts were broken. It had broken Mum's heart. It had broken Dad's heart. And now it had broken mine. But never again. It was then that I decided that from that moment on, I would not let myself fall foul to such emotions. I realised that being cold, hard and exclusive was the only way that I could remain sane.
My mother looked at me, an expression of utter confusion on her face. In three years, it seemed, I had changed so much that even my own mother didn't recognise me! It was true, with all the stress and worry of family life, my hair had gone grey, and I had grown much taller. But I'd thought that she, of all people, would have been able to recognise me.
"It's me! Your daughter! Nobody," I said to her. Immediately, the confusion on her face was replaced with disgust. She let be in and told me to sit down. With that, she excused herself to make a cup of coffee.
Next thing I knew, the authorities were at the door.
"Excuse me ma'am," a very official looking man said to my mother, "did you report a lost child?" I knew this had to be a mistake. Surely my mother wouldn't willingly give me up?
"Yes," my mother replied. She's right through here. What did you say your name was dear?" She directed her attention towards me.
"What are you talking about, you crazy lady?!" I cried in dismay. "You're my MOTHER! And you know my name! Why do you want to get rid of me?!" I burst into tears.
"As you can see, she's a bit delirious. Thank you for your time." As she finished, the man came and took me by the hand. He led me out of the house and into his car.
"So darling, what's your name?" I refused to answer. I was cold, hard, indifferent Zero. I answered to no one.
"Okay then, how old are you?" I remained silent. After several minutes, he gave up, and we continued the journey without a word.
After driving for about an hour, we reached a very official looking building with a sign out the front that read 'Orphan Protection Authority'. Orphan? I was no orphan! Why were they taking me in there?