I Stop Somewhere Waiting For You
By: TG
Summary: Eijun reads shoujo.
Disclaimer: i dont own daiya ok
Warnings: none for this chapter
AN: this was written for two anons for a ficmeme i posted ages ago and also for the misawaday event on tumblr!
just letting you guys know up front that this will be updated irregularly aka whenever i feel like it! i have other major projects in the works, like pt four of this series (the real pt four) and the second round of misawa big bang. but i am tentatively taking requests, so check out the end notes for details!
Failing to fetch me at first keep encouraged, missing me one place search another, I stop somewhere waiting for you.
-Walt Whitman
Eijun gets regular shipments of shoujo manga from various sources. As far as Kazuya can discern, they mostly come from his parents, though he's definitely glimpsed Kuramochi's and Kanemaru's names on a good number of them.
Sometimes it's difficult for him to tamp down on the jealousy that flares up each time the stack of manga in their room grows. He doesn't much like thinking about the stretch of time between goodbye and hello, about Eijun invariably moving filling his empty spaces with someone else's storyline. He doesn't like thinking about all of the things he didn't get to experience with his partner, like Eijun's first game as Seido's ace, or his last. He missed out on the myriad small, quiet moments that he was used to being part of before he upended his own life to chase his dreams.
Maybe jealousy isn't the right word to use. He doesn't think he's jealous of Kanemaru or of Kuramochi, or of any of his other former teammates, not really. Or maybe he is? He doesn't really know, which is par for the course when it comes to Sawamura Eijun. All he knows for sure is that he's grateful. Eijun isn't the best at dusting off and moving on after he takes a tumble, but his teammates never leave a man behind no matter how heavy his burden.
It had been hard at first, knowing he didn't have a golden-eyed ball of sunshine and determination at his back anymore, but then Eijun's breadth had always been so much bigger than just Kazuya.
So Kazuya is jealous and grateful; the jealousy he keeps to himself and the gratitude he expels out into the universe. The gratitude is what moves his fingers across starlit skin until Eijun squirms awake or kicks him out of bed; it's what quirks his lips at the sound of Eijun's half-decent shower singing and what motivates him to put up with all of the burnt omurice meals and the feeling of cold feet on his calves and the drool that stains his pillow.
Gratitude, and not a little bit of love, is what moves his feet over slapdash piles of manga when he hears his boyfriend crying in their room over his latest present from their former teammates.
Eijun is in his typical shoujo manga reading position, lying on his stomach on their bed with a blanket pulled up around his head and shoulders like a mourning veil. His forearms and the manga are the only things visible from the side, and Kazuya winces when he sees the title.
"Koi Suru Sokuratesu, huh?" he says lightly. He's heard of this manga, knows it's a one-off and that it's sad and beautiful and tragic and probably exactly the kind of thing that will break and mend Eijun's indefatigable heart.
(But it's Eijun's sweet vulnerability that makes him so strong.)
Eijun cuts a pathetic figure, and the tiny noises of distress coming from under the blanket tug at Kazuya's thawing heartstrings. He dents the mattress at Eijun's waist and rubs a soothing palm across his boyfriend's quivering, blanket-ensconced back. Eijun sniffs and scoots a few centimeters over -a silent plea for company that Kazuya can't ignore, not after months spent pining, not when he would have given anything just to be on the same continent.
Eijun is pliant and warm so Kazuya makes short work of scooting him across the bed, and though he accidentally scoots Eijun right out from under the safety of his blanket, there is enough room at the end of it for him to crawl in, too. He lies on his back and closes his eyes, content to feel the long line of Eijun's body pressed warm and solid against his.
Kuramochi and Kanemaru might be the ones who were with Eijun when Kazuya couldn't be, but…
"Read it to me?" he murmurs. He feels one of Eijun shift, slender pitcher's fingers sliding in between his between them on the mattress. He squeezes, and gets a squeeze in return.
"When I met Aki… I missed a lot of chances to be with her, but, when I look back, it sees as though she was always beside me. It has taken me a long time to accept the reality that… My Aki died…"
AN: HAPPY VALENTINES DAY!
the shoujo manga eijun is reading is called 'socrates in love' or 'crying out for love at the heart of the world' and its DEVASTATING. if you want to cry/die you can read it online!
request more drabbles in this 'verse over at trumpet-geek on tumblr!