"Tony, if you do not stop fidgeting I am going to paralyze you with magic," Loki threatens.
"But it huuurrrttssss," Tony whines. "At least let me get drunk before you stab me with any more needles."
They are in Tony's bedroom, two days later. Tony is lying on his stomach and letting Loki tattoo him. He just hadn't counted on how much of him Loki would need to tattoo. By the time they're done, Tony will have marks on his arms, legs, thighs, back, chest, and even his face in all the same places that Loki does in zir Jötunn form. Really, it's good that Loki is so strong and can hold him down, because he's blown through manly stoicism and moved on to bargaining and contemplating escape.
"No. I told you. All magic has a price, and the price of this binding is your blood, pain, and acceptance."
"You sound like an episode of Once Upon A Time," Tony pouts. Loki huffs and frowns, just like Tony knew ze would. Loki hates Once Upon A Time, gets totally pissed and starts screaming at the television about how the magic is all wrong, and even wrote a letter of complaint to ABC, it was fucking hilarious. JARVIS got it all on video.
Loki's response to that is to jab the primitive looking magic tattoo needle back into Tony's skin. Tony screams.
"Stop being melodramatic," Loki says with a roll of zir eyes. Ze is in male form, as ze often is when they are alone in Tony's bedroom. JARVIS automatically splices in old footage of them having sex while Loki's in female form to the security feed. Tony is too paranoid about someone finding out Loki is Loki to ever let zir be caught recognizably on camera. Sure, Loki is Natasha's quasi-mother figure/best friend now, and ze's saved Clint's life and they team up to play pranks sometimes, and ze drinks tea with Bruce, and even occasionally spars with Thor and gives him advice on Asgard stuff, and makes Steve blush, and Coulson turned out to be only mostly dead, but people are unforgiving, and Tony isn't naïve enough to think any of those things will matter if any of them ever find out. (The bad things should matter to him, he knows they should, he shouldn't want to be with a liar and a killer, but the only guilt he feels is about how much he just doesn't give a shit, and that's fleeting because most of the time he doesn't think about it.)
There is a ripple of skin and a tingle in the air that Tony has come to associate with Loki's magic, and he wonders why Loki has taken female form in the middle of this, but then a knock comes at the door and Tony knows why.
"Tony? We heard a scream," Steve's voice comes through the door.
"Come in, Steven," Loki calls in a way that Tony knows means ze's smirking. Tony is naked, and Loki was shirtless in zir male form, and Tony's willing to bet is still shirtless in female form. Loki gets a kick out of messing with the others by pretending not to understand human taboos, particularly the ones concerning sex and nudity.
The door opens, and Tony hears Steve cough. He chuckles, then winces when the motion pulls at the skin of his recently tattooed shoulders.
"Ummm, what are you guys…?" Steve says, sounding like he's staring at the ceiling. Tony bets he's staring at the ceiling.
"Oh please, like you haven't caught us doing weirder stuff."
"Tony is undergoing the ritual binding necessary to become my husband," Loki says, drawing another line down Tony's left arm without warning. He yelps. "Though if he does not hold still I may be forced to shackle him. It will reflect poorly on me if the runes are badly drawn."
"I still don't see why I have to be the one to get full body tattoos. Why can't we tattoo you? I should at least get to put my name across your ass."
"Because I am the socially and magically superior partner. That is how these things are done. But if it will make you stop this caterwauling, I will allow you to put an outline of the arc reactor on my chest."
"Really?"
"I don't see why not. It can only strengthen the spell."
Cheered by that, Tony turns his head to get a glimpse of Steve still standing in the doorway. His cheeks are pink, but he is grinning at them like a proud papa bear. It's creepy.
"You two are getting married?"
"That is what you got out of all that?" Tony demands.
Steve backs up and shuts the door. A few seconds later they hear, "Hey everybody, it's okay. Tony and Lori are getting married!" Which, while typical Steve behavior, still makes Tony a little suspicious.
Tony purses his lips and then looks up at Loki while keeping his head as still as possible. "Did you just put a mind whammy on him so that he wouldn't mention my full body tattoos?"
Loki shrugs, zir breasts jiggling enticingly with the movement. "The fewer people who know about them and the ability to share power they will grant us, the more useful they will be."
Tony gives a miniscule nod, accepting that explanation. "You're even more paranoid than I am."
"I know, Brightstar."
"I love that about you."
A rich chuckle that deepens as Loki switches back to male form. "I know, Brightstar."
-l-
When the tattoos are complete – and Loki insists on doing them all at once because the spell won't take otherwise – Tony feels like a piece of tenderized meat, and looks kind of badass and tribal. The ink is a dark blue, and the pattern mirrors Loki's Jötunn markings, which a few extra whirligigs here and there that Tony assumes is the fairy part of the magic.
The whole process takes about eight hours, and the last two are torture. The only thing that keeps Tony from running for the door, aside from Loki holding him down, is the reminder that as soon as the tattoos are finished, the magic will kick in and give Tony super healing.
And that works as advertised. The skin is still sore, but rapidly approaches the level of sunburn soreness, as opposed to just-let-my-lover-carve-me-with-a-needle soreness. Tony moves to stand in front of his full length mirror, still naked, and checks out his tats, awkwardly craning his head over his shoulder to look at the ones on his back. It's kind of sexy, how the two stripes curve down to his ass and then flare out into complicated Celtic knots.
Loki is watching him with a hungry look, and Tony grins at zir in the mirror, eyes raking over the planes of Loki's masculine chest. Zir male form is pale, much paler than the female one, and zir eyes are a bright emerald green.
(This face, this tall man with long limbs, is what Tony thinks of as Loki's true form, though he knows for a shapeshifter of Loki's caliber that there is no such thing. But it is how Tony first saw his lover, that night in Germany, and remembering those first encounters now almost makes him fond. He's not a good person, he can admit it, and hey, what's important is that Loki is saving more lives than he takes now, and if loving him puts more black marks on Tony's slate, well it's not like it was clean to start with.)
"Try to access my magic," Loki says, pupils blown wide, in desire or for some magical reason. Tony decides it's desire.
"How?" Tony asks.
"Reach for it. Reach for me. Call for my power with your mind. Will it to move through you."
Tony tries. He tries until he starts to feel stupid and his face turns red because he's holding his breath. Frustrated, he shakes his arms out and cracks his neck, finding that his skin is no longer sore at all. His tattoos are completely healed, as if he's had them for years.
Loki moves closer, and Tony can feel the electric tingle of magic, only now it zings back and forth between them, a feedback loop of static charge.
"Until you are more practiced, vocal commands and hand motions may help to focus you. Magic is about intent. Believe you can do a thing, want it enough, and you can."
Tony nods, tapping his fingers against the arc reactor as he thinks.
And then he has an idea.
Before he can give himself too much time to consider it, too much time to doubt, Tony tells his reflection, "I am Iron Man." And then he whirls to the side, raising his hands in the familiar motion of a repulsor blast.
A blaze of green fire blossoms from his left palm, the same color as Loki's magic. But it is gone in the next second, extinguished because Tony's attention has been brought back to the mirror, concentration shattered.
When Tony accesses Loki's magic, his tattoos light him up like a Christmas tree, glowing the same color as the arc reactor.
Loki looks like ze is in serious danger of jizzing zir pants.
"Exquisite," ze breathes, all but pouncing on Tony.
Tony cackles into Loki's mouth, because fuck yes, he's Tony Motherfucking Magic Stark.
-l-
Loki casts a glamour on Tony to hide his tattoos, and says ze will maintain it only until Tony has learned enough magic to cast one himself. Tony gets that he needs to cover the ones on his face, because they're really obvious and Jötunn-like and will send everyone into an epic round of pearl clutching, but he kind of wishes he could keep the other ones. They'd be hidden by his clothes during public appearances.
But Loki is adamant.
"I enjoy looking at my mark upon your skin as much as you do, Brightstar, but what use is showing the dagger in your hand to the one you intend to stab with it?"
Tony nods. "Seem the innocent flower, but be the serpent beneath it. Got it."
Loki raises both brows.
"What? I live with you and Thor. I started Googling Shakespearean quotes out of self-defense."
Loki laughs and damn, all these years later that still does mushy embarrassing things to Tony that he routinely blames on a hiccup in the arc reactor. (Like anyone ever buys that excuse. Tony's technology is awesome.)
He wraps his arms around Loki's currently feminine waist and kisses zir.
"You're smearing my lipstick," Loki complains.
"I love you," Tony says in a shaking rush. As always, it surprises him when it comes out of his mouth, something ripped up and disgorged from his guts without his permission. (He used to ramble on after blurting something like that, attempting to distract, misdirect, cover his embarrassment. Now he just buries his face in Loki's neck.)
So he's having a bit of a moment.
Loki gives him a soft look then, and that is how Tony knows, more than Loki's whispered, "And I you, Tony Ironsmith," that Loki loves him too. Ze lets Tony see the soft places, the weaknesses. Gives Tony what no other creature in all the realms has from Loki Liesmith – trust. (Oh Tony isn't stupid. Loki is the God of Lies, and the God of Lies is a liar. Loki keeps secrets. But Tony does too. That's half the fun, trying to ferret out each other's plans. And knowing everything isn't important. The only important thing they need to know is that they won't hurt each other. Not seriously.)
Loki plants a final kiss on Tony's lips, then reaches up and tweaks the end of his beard. "Go have your pre-press conference glass of scotch whilst I repair my make-up."
Tony smirks and refuses to let Loki's waist go. "I like it how it is. You should leave it. Start a new trend. We can call it 'afternoon delight.'"
Loki rolls zir eyes, running zir thumb over Tony's lips to remove the color that has been transferred there. "Go now, or I will unleash a troll during the press conference and tell Pepper that you misled me as to what the phrase 'trolling the media' means."
With a squawk of exaggerated outrage Tony lets zir go. "That is ridiculous and hurtful, why would you do such a thing."
Loki smiles. "Because she will believe me, and be quite angry that you have abused my cultural ignorance. Then she will get so upset that the babe in her belly will come early and it will be all your fault."
"Pure evil. That's what you are," Tony says, heading toward his sidebar. He pours himself an entire tumbler full of whiskey, because ever since the whole binding spell thing (that may or may not actually be part of a wedding ceremony, he's not sure whether to call bullshit on that yet) he has a godlike tolerance for alcohol, which is kind of awesome and horrible at the same time. Tossing back the whole glass will be just enough to give him a minor buzz for maybe fifteen minutes.
-l-
Loki does not set a troll loose during the press conference. In fact, within a few minutes ze has the entire pack of rabid reporters eating out of zir hand and sighing about how romantic it all is. Tony can't do anything but admire that, one showman to another. (No shame in getting schooled by the Silvertongue.)
Loki's appeared at press conferences before, of course, as Tony's assistant, and then later as his girlfriend, but they've never given a joint interview before, and Loki's never spoken to the press about their relationship, other than to confirm that there is one.
"We made the rings ourselves, in Brightstar's workshop," Loki says, holding up their joined hands to reveal the two simple bands. At least simple in appearance: they're made of vibranium, and Loki's enchanted them to automatically adjust to perfect finger size and always return to the hand of the wearer. Tony's already has a streak of grease around the inside.
"Brightstar?" a reporter calls out, and laughter makes its way through the crowd.
Loki scoots closer and reaches out, parting Tony's suit jacket and undoing the buttons of his shirt until the light of the arc reactor shines through. The crowd goes quiet when ze says, "Brightstar. The heart and mind of this man shine brighter than the stars. Even when I am lost, I need only look to my Tony to find my way home again."
Tony can't decide whether to buy it and be touched, or laugh his ass off. That's the thing with Loki. Everything ze says can be a truth or a lie, and more often is both at the same time. Tony decides to believe this is both, and surges forward to give his fiancé a filthy open mouthed kiss. (He might be getting married, dammit, but he's still Tony Stark.)
Then someone aawwws, and holy shit, at least two people are crying and Tony feels his lips give an involuntary twitch.
"Mr. Stark, do you have a nickname for Ms. Silverton?"
Tony leans forward, sure that Loki's red lipstick is smeared all over his face, and says into the microphone, "I have nicknames for everyone, but for her the one that really stuck is 'Snowflake.'"
-l-
Hel is waiting for them on their floor when they get back to the Avengers Tower, wearing her creepy Soul Reaper hood. She's visited often enough that Tony's gotten over her appearance – one half of her looking roughly like a female Thor, and the other half like a female Loki when ze's all blued out – but the hood still freaks him out and she totally wears it on purpose.
"Lokispawn," Tony greets her.
"Step-Mother," Hel returns.
Tony rolls his eyes. "I still maintain that Loki is your other mom and I'm your soon to be step-father." Then he shivers, because just calling himself 'Father' in any capacity makes his insides squirm.
Hel and Loki ignore him, like they always do, and Tony meanders over to the bar to pour them all drinks like a well-trained pony. That. Serves drinks.
Whatever.
Loki stays in female form since they're out in the living room, and tucks zir arm through Hel's on the blue-skinned side, leading her over to the loveseat. They're doing their usual longwinded back and forth where they basically ask each other what's up in iambic pentameter. Tony lets the god talk wash over him, mentally translating it into modern day English.
Hey, Dad. Heard down in the underworld that you and Tony are getting hitched. Congrats.
Thanks, Hel. I'm glad that you approve. Sorry that you found out that way. We were planning on coming down and telling you in person.
It's no big deal. I heard from a television reporter who just had a near death experience. Nice job during the interview. You really had them eating out of the palm of your hand.
Speaking of eating out of the palm of your hand, how is your brother?
Fenrir's fine. I think he's getting bored though. Word's gotten around that he's chained to the gates of my palace, so now he doesn't even have interlopers to savage anymore. And I still can't find a way to break his chains. I've tried appealing to Asgard, but Odin returns my messages unopened.
Fuck Odin. He's such a dickhead.
I know, right?
At that point in the conversation, Tony hands a White Russian to Hel, sticks a mojito on the table by Loki's elbow, and retreats to the chair across from them with his glass of scotch.
Hel accepts her drink with a soft, "Many thanks, Step-Mother," and a smile that somehow unifies the disparate halves of her face. Loki just takes the drink as zir due and yeah, it pretty much is.
After that, Tony kicks his mental god to English translator back into gear.
I am worried about Fenrir though. He's never been in wolf form for so long. He can't even speak with me with those chains muzzling him, and I honestly am starting to doubt whether Odin is ever going to let him out.
Hmm. Now that Tony and I are to wed, perhaps there is something I can do. Not as myself, of course, they must never know I'm not in prison, but as the Queen of Air and Darkness. As far as the Allfather is concerned, Mab is marrying a hero of Midgard. I can request an audience as one of the rulers of the fae, and citing my friendship with Queen Hel, Tony and I will ask that Fenrir be banished to Midgard to serve the Avengers.
Do you think that would work?
Maybe. I didn't want to try it when there was still hope that Odin might see reason. I didn't want to see Fenrir lose his home permanently, but if he really is likely to remain chained… Yes. We'll ask Odin, and if that doesn't work, Tony will find a way to sever Fenrir's chains. Won't you, Ironsmith?
Tony gives a grim smile and says, "Yes, dear."
Tony's been down to Hel's palace in Niflheim a few times over the years. (Apparently it's okay and he won't die because he has Hel's blessing on his brow, whatever the hell (heh) that means.) Fenrir's an okay kid, as far as he can tell. Kind of terrifying, what with currently being trapped in the form of a giant wolf, but he's always overjoyed to see Loki and he lets Tony sit on his back and hang out whenever Hel and Loki are gossiping or whatever.
(This is really his life. The most frightening part is he wouldn't change it.)
After that it's all wedding talk, which Tony tunes out because he's almost a hundred percent certain that as the groom he's not allowed to have an opinion.