Disclaimer: I do not own Homestuck or the characters in this story! The only thing I own is the plotline and story itself.
oOoOo
The silence that followed Dave's outburst was almost deafening. You.. really fucked up, huh? There was nothing to say to him unless it was the two words that the lil' man was probably already sick of.
'I'm sorry.'
Your name is Diederick, or Dirk, Strider- though most called you Bro. And those two words were painfully true. You really were sorry. You had always thought he was fine, for the most part anyway. You knew he was upset about something, but in all honesty you thought he would talk about it if it was bad. Apparently not.
You fumbled silently on what to say, until he sprinted out of the room like Hades was on his heels.
"Shit- Dave, get back here!"
You scrambled to your feet and gave chase, tripping on Dave's bed sheets. You heard a door slam followed by the click of a lock falling into place. You felt your heart drop and pounded on the bathroom door, jiggling the knob.
"David Elizabeth Strider, you had better stop whatever you're doing right this instant! Open this door right now!" There was no answer. Anxiety shot through you like a spear, and the pounding increased in volume and frequency.
"Dave, there is no reason to do this! Please! Just put it down and listen to me! PLEASE!" You couldn't keep your emotions from your voice anymore.
Despite your obnoxiously loud banging, you heard a thud, a sliding sound, and silence. You were too shocked to keep knocking, not like it would do any good at this point. Anxiety and concern spiked through you, and you were prepared to break down the door. Repair costs be damned. But you were stopped.
Your little brother's voice drifted through the wood with a resigned sigh.
"Fine, I won't. Speak your part."
You let out a breath you didn't realize you were holding. Holy fuck, he's okay. Well no, not okay. But he was alive and hopefully not injured. It took all you could to not slump against the door in relief. You braced your head against the door, closing your eyes and swallowing what little pride you had left.
"I'm so, so sorry, David. And you're right. I haven't been a good brother at all.. I honestly thought you were fine, and that you wanted space. That you wanted some time away from me to spread your wings. So I booked more gigs and gave you that space. But.. That doesn't justify what I've done to you. Or rather, all the things I haven't done for you. I wasn't there when you needed me and look at what's happened. Look at your arm and see what I've done," you paused, throat closing up from the tears streaking down your face. You took your shades off and wiped your eyes before replacing them wordlessly. You sat down, back to the door. You kept on, talking around the lump in your throat.
"I taught you that Striders don't cry and with that I've fucked you up more ways than you could count. Dave.. crying is normal, and it means you're alive. I was trying to teach you that a lot of things aren't ever worth crying over.. But I never meant for you to learn that you should never cry. I honestly don't think I could ever make up for the amount of bullshit I've unintentionally put you through. And I can't say my apologies enough-" your voice was cut off from your own quiet sob. After a few seconds of remaining quiet, you heard poorly muffled sobs from the other side of the door. Your voice was strained and shaky when you continued.
"So I'm sorry. I'm so deeply sorry I fucked up as your guardian. And if you've decided that you won't forgive me, I don't blame you. Not a bit." You sniffle and suddenly, you no longer care about keeping yourself quiet.
Two small knocks right beside your head snapped you out of your reverie.
"Do you really mean that..?" Dave's voice was so unsure and.. faded. It nearly broke your heart in two just hearing it.
"Of course I do, Davey," you replied, calling him the name you gave him when he was a child. "I never stopped caring about you." Your brother sniffled and replied shakily.
"There were so many times where I could promise you that you didn't give a shit about me. Hell, before any of that I could guarantee that you wouldn't even notice if I.. left." His voice had a lilt to it, like he was truly relaxing for the first time in decades.
"Dave, I would've noticed immediately. God, I just- there's no excuse for how terribly I treated you."
"So what are we gonna do now..?" You could barely hear him,his voice was muted and almost sleepy..and heavy, like he no longer had the energy to talk.
"I don't know, Dave. I don't know. Could you ever forgive me for what I've done?" You asked, fearful of the answer.
Silence.
"Dave?"
No answer.
"David?!"
Oh, fuck..
You stood up in a flash, and immediately started fiddling with the lock on the door. Call you paranoid but you weren't taking chances.
No dice.
Knowing nothing better to do, you ram your shoulder into the door. Like you said, repair costs be damned. The wall next the the handle cracked a little bit, and you threw your weight into the next lunge. The wood around the doorknob completely splintered apart, and the door fell over.. On top of something? Moving the door out of the way, you look down and nearly have a heart attack.
You stood at the edge of a crimson puddle, with your little brother in the center of it. You let out a strangled noise and immediately knelt down to pick him up, not caring how badly your clothes would be stained. Newer tears mingled with the ones from earlier. Blinking them away, you cradle Dave like a child in one arm while dialing a number into your phone with the other. You pin the phone between your shoulder and ear before sprinting downstairs, grabbing your keys and throwing open the door with Dave still in your arms.
The phone clicked.
"Heeeeeeyyyy Dirkyy! Whuzz ip? Er, up, haha," your friend's obnoxiously loud and slurred voice pouring over the speakers. You fight to choke back another sob as you descend the apartment complexes stairs, but fail. She must've heard it too, because she seemed to sober up a bit by the next time she spoke.
"Dirky? Whaz wrong?" You fiddle with your keys and unlock the car door, setting Dave down gently in the passenger seat of your old beat up car. You take a shaky breath as you round the car to try and calm yourself, and your next words were immediately followed by the engine revving to life.
"R-Roxy, I fucked up."
oOoOo-Flowery Pyrope