Christmas At Tails and Cosmo's
SonicFanaticInc. & Werehog20
Author's Note (2-2-12): This oneshot used to be on SonicFanaticInc's page, but to keep all the oneshots together for your convenience, they'll all be held under this one story. SonicFanaticInc's page will have another series of oneshots that has to do with the daily lives of the chaotic family, but that's still a work in progress. We'll still be working together on all of them.
And for those who have already read this and look forward to the next one, there's a sneak peak for you guys on the next chapter!
-Werehog20
Snow had descended upon the Northern half of Mobius as Winter had hit its full effect, covering the hills, cities, and forests in a deep blanket of snow. GUN had given its agents three days off before Christmas, so Shadow was getting some much needed maintenance done on his home, shoveling snow haphazardly out of his driveway to finish as soon as possible. Just as he was about to finish none other than Sonic sped up to Shadow's house, in his Speed Star. Instead of Sonic's feet kicking up some powdered snow, the Speed Star's speed and size shifted the snow pile Shadow made back into his yard and driveway. "Yo Shad- I mean Dad!"
"Agh, Sonic!" cried out Shadow, trying to compress his anger, "Watch where you're driving! Wait, why are you driving when you're the fastest thing alive?!"
"I didn't want to get cold..."
"That's a convertible, it doesn't make a difference, and from what I've heard you've been to frickin HOLOSKA! Anyways, what's with the visit?"
"Well it's about to be Christmas and I was wondering where we were going to all meet up since you're technically the head of the family and stuff..."
"Oh yeah, since Black Doom is dead, I guess that does make me the patriarch... Well no way in hell we're having it here," claimed Shadow as he pointed his thumb back to the snow drift in his yard, "What about your place?"
"Eh, with the size of the family, I think we need someplace big... How about Tails' Lab at the Mystic Ruins? That place is sure to fit everybody!"
"Hm, why not? You go ahead and arrange that."
"Why me?"
"A. I'm your FATHER B. Because I have to clean up the mess YOU made C. It's Tails, why wouldn't you?"
"I know I'm just kidding, off I go!" With the press of a button, the Speed Star transformed into Plane Form and boomed away in the direction of the Mystic Ruins, drastically throwing even more snow on Shadow and his home.
"SONIC!"
(Line Break Be Sure to Delete these notes afterwards lol)
"Thats a great idea Sonic!" exclaimed Tails after Sonic finished tell him his idea about hosting Christmas at their home.
Cosmo entered the room wearing an apron and mixing a batch of cookie dough, "What's a great idea?"
"Sonic asked us if we would be willing to host Christmas this year."
"We would be honored! But oh my, with only three days till Christmas, we have to get busy! Tails, sweetheart, can you get the decorations while I finish these cookies?"
"Sure thing honey. Sonic, give me a decorations are in the garage."
Sonic followed Tails to the garage, and as they began to pull out boxes of Christmas stuff, he asked, "So Tails, when are you and Cosmo gonna tie the old knot?"
Tails blushed, "Well... We're still trying to find the right time. Plus with all the preparations, its hard."
"Well best of luck to ya." Sonic and Tails dug out four boxes of decorations and took them up to the living room. They dropped them on the carpet in the living room, spraying dust and cobwebs outwards with a loud thud.
Cosmo came in and shrieked, "AH! Look what you've done to the carpet!"
"Sorry Cosmo, we didn't realize the boxes were dirty." apologized Tails.
"Theres so much to do and now I have to vacuum the carpet too! Look at this mess!" shouted Cosmo, the anger becoming apparent in her voice.
Sonic stepped forward, "Don't stress, we'll vacuum it up."
Cosmo stormed back into the kitchen, "Ugh! Men! Always making messes and making things 10 times harder!
"Whoa, what's gotten into her Tails? Has she been spending time with Amy too much?"
Tails shrugged in response, "I have absolutely no idea what's going on with her. I'm a mechanic, not a psychiatrist remember? Anyways, while I deal with her, you start inviting everybody ok?"
"What do you mean 'while I deal with her'?!" shouted Cosmo from the other room.
"Oh boy, well good luck with that Sonic."
"Dude, I think you need that luck..." whispered Sonic before he boomed out of the house to invite the rest of the family: Manic, Sonia, Silver, Blaze, Eggman, Nega, and Amy. However, ever since what happened on the Black Comet on Christmas, things have been awkward between all of them. For instance, last time Eggman & his established son Nega were going after a Chaos Emerald in a GUN base, Shadow had intercepted him while Sonic happened to be nearby when the incident occurred. After they had all faced each other in the cellar holding the Emerald, Eggman stared awkwardly at his uncle Shadow and cousin Sonic before turning around and flying away. Silver's and Blaze's marriage was starting to become unstable due to the Silver/Sonia issue of having Amy as a child, who was nowhere to be found to make things worse.
(Line Break)
The next three days whizzed by and in no time at all it was Christmas. Tails and Cosmo had decorated their house beautifully with a 6 foot Christmas tree covered in lights, Christmas bulbs, garland, and ornaments in a rainbow of colors. On top of the tree was a large angel with its wings and arms spread wide. Furthermore, there were holly wreaths on every door and lights were strung on the walls and around the perimeter of the living room. Against one of the walls was a long table with all sorts of holiday snacks from candy canes to gingerbread to minty chocolates. Tails kissed Cosmo on the cheek, "We sure know how to decorate for a party don't we!"
"We sure do. Its so... beautiful!" Cosmo cried out as she kissed Tails and begun to sob hysterically, "All of the twinkly lights, and the tree, its all so pretty!"
"Why are you crying though? Didn't you have a Christmas like this back on your home planet?"
"I did, but it was so much prettier. We have these tulips that have lights inside of them and they're everywhere. They light up everything with their lovely glow. But I like this this too, its so... wonderful!" Cosmo gave a heavy sob before wiping her eyes and clearing her throat and sighing.
"Wait I'm confused, are you saying you liked Christmas on your planet or here more?"
"I like them both equally. Now, lets make sure everything is in place. Our guests will be here any minute!" Cosmo bustled away leaving Tails to watch her go with a bewildered look.
Proving Cosmo right, the doorbell rang. Tails answered the door, "Sonic, Sonia, Manic! Great to see you guys, come on in! Hey, where's your dad though?"
Sonic rolled his eyes, "He refused to get in my car and ride with us. He decided to travel with 'real class'." Just then, the roar of a motorcycle engine sounded from the driveway. Shadow got off his shining black and red motorcycle in flourish and sauntered up to the front door. "HA! I told you my convertable would make it here first!"
"I wasn't trying to get here first. I had to go to the store. Besides, you said it yourself, I wanted to travel in real class."
"What for Daddy?" asked Sonia.
"For this." Shadow produced a large bottle of holiday wine. "Its for the grownups only of course."
"Awww come on Dad! We're 21, its legal!" whined Manic as he reached for the bottle before Shadow pulled it away.
"Oh hello Shadow!" called out Cosmo as she and Tails went up to Shadow, "My that's an awfully big bottle of wine!"
"I just wanted to make sure I brought enough for the family sister... And hello my brother-in-law!" called out Shadow somewhat menacingly while ruffling up Tails' fur on his head, somewhat angering Sonic, "What is it son? Mad that your so called 'bro' is actually mine?"
"Dad... You're pushing it..." growled Sonic as he tugged angrily on the cuffs of Shadow's gloves.
"I was just teasing you son, why are you of all people getting worked up for-"
"DAD!" came the shout of Silver as he ran, or more like jogged, up to his father Sonic with Blaze facepalming not far behind. Sonic was unable to recover from his shock in time to dodge the tackling hug from his 'special' son.
"Gah! I don't know what's worse, one of Amy's tackles or yours!"
"Speaking of which, have you seen Amy? I've heard nothing from her since Thanksgiving! She used to call me at least every day to talk about her latest plan to win your heart and the new dress she bought, but I suppose that was before we knew that I was her father and you were her grandfather... "
"That must have been traumatizing," added Blaze.
"Poor thing. but we can't have Christmas without her!" whimpered Cosmo as her eyes started to water and her voice gained a quiver.
"Don't cry Cosmo!" called out Tails as he pulled Cosmo close to him, "Sonic, Silver, why don't you guys go find Amy while we finish setting up the table?"
Silver jumped into the passenger seat of Sonic's convertible, "You got it Great Uncle Tails! Come on Dad!"
"Oh Chaos, with this guy, IT'S NO USE!" muttered Sonic as he shuffled to his car and took off in a spray of snow.
(Line Break)
"So, do you have any idea where Amy would be?"
"After all those years of her stalking me, I think I may have an idea or two... First let's check her apartment in Station Square to see if anything is up..." replied Sonic as he moved the Speed Star in the direction of the urban jungle of Central City. When they arrived to the area of Station Square, they switched the Speed Star to vehicle form and drove up to Amy's apartment. However, as soon as they walked up to the door, they found it cracked open. When they entered, they found the apartment in disorder, as if it hadn't been cleaned in a while. From the looks of the piles of clothes and other items, it looked like Amy was in a hurry packing as well. "Huh, I wonder where she went...?" muttered Sonic as he rummaged through some of the piles.
"Dad, check this out..." said Silver as he levitated a small book to Sonic with the title of Amy's Diary scribbled on it, "Maybe something's in here."
"Don't you know that opening a girl's diary is suicide?!"
"But she's my daughter, and your granddaughter! Now let's see here..."
Dear Diary,
I had a vision with my tarot cards today! According to my cards, I'm to have a destined encounter at Never Lake! I'm so excited! I wonder what sort of encounter will it be? Well I'm off to the lake to find out!
"Huh, that must've been when I first met Amy at Never Lake when Eggman tried to take over Little Planet and take the timestones..." muttered Sonic.
"I've visited Little Planet once," replied Silver, "it's a very nice place. That's where you and Amy first met?"
"Yeah, I was just starting my adventure when she ran up to me and would not let go... Anyways, what's the next one say?"
Dear Diary,
Ever since I met Sonic, I knew he was the one for me! Its high time i stop waiting for him to rescue me all the time. From now on, I'm going to be independent and go get him! I recently got a new outfit, a cute little red dress and matching go-go boots! There's no way Sonic will be able to resist me!
"I'm guessing this was before I saw her in Station Square with her new outfit... Go more ahead Silver, we need to see more recent ones."
Dear Diary,
Its been a long time since i first met Sonic but I'm still no closer to winning his heart! But I refuse to be deterred! One day I'll get him to marry me! I just know it! I just have to keep bombarding him with my undying love and he'll come around! but... I can't help think that maybe Sonic and I are drifting apart...
"Wow, Amy was really bent on marrying you wasn't she dad?"
"Yeah, I even remember we got into a fight just because she didn't want me to get out of marrying her; thankfully Cream, Big, Tails, and Knuckles were there too..."
Dear Diary,
I'm positively ecstatic! I received an invitation to a Thanksgiving family reunion on the Black Comet! I don't exactly get why I'm invited but it sounds fun! According to my tarot cards, if I go, I'll get some sort of surprise. I bet the surprise is Sonic! Well I'd better get going before I'm late!
"This must be when everyone got their invitations... Uh Dad, look at this one..."
Dear Diary,
SONIC IS MY GRANDPA! ALL THESE YEARS I'VE BEEN TRYING TO MARRY MY GRANDPA! AND TO MAKE MATTERS WORSE, MY MOM IS SONIC'S SISTER AND MY DAD IS HIS SON! I'M A INCEST BABY! MY LIFE IS OVER, SIMPLY OVER! SONIC WAS THE ONLY ONE FOR ME! I DEDICATED MY ENTIRE LIFE TO WINNING HIS LOVE! MY LIFE HAS NO MEANING NOW, WHAT AM I GOING TO DO?!
"And that was Amy panicking..."
"Poor daughter..." muttered Silver as he shook his head, "Wait, there's one more..."
deAr DiarY,
i StiLl haVen't fOunD A neW meAniNg fOr liFe Yet bUt wHo caRes AboUt LifE DEATH sEemS sO mUch cooLer whEn yoU DIE You gO To HeAven aNd iN HeaVen EverYonEs haPpy mAybE iF i DIE iLL fiNd SomEthiNg eLse tO mAke Me hapPy bEsiDes SONIC
"Why didn't I do anything?!" cried out Silver as he collapsed and banged his fist on the floor, "I could've been there for her, but instead I left as soon as I heard Sonia was pregnant like the piece of shit I am!"
"Whoa... Um, s... Silver, I understand this is a tough time and all, but this isn't the time to be breaking down; we still gotta find Amy. Now I think I have an idea as to where she is, come on."
(Line Break)
Meanwhile back Tails and Cosmo's, two Death Egg Robots stormed up to the house a series of explosions and mushroom clouds following them. Eggman popped out of the cockpit of his robot, "And that son, is how to make a dramatic entrance!"
"I see! I shall use this information for future reference." replied Nega as he rose out his own robot.
"Do you MIND!?" shouted Tails, "You're messing up my home!"
"Oh boo hoo! Sorry 'Uncle' Tails but I left my Give-My-Damn at home!" retorted Eggman.
"HoHoHO! Good one Father!" cackled Nega as he and Eggman exited their Robots.
Cosmo ran out onto the porch, "What do you think you're doing you oversized, talking egg!"
"H-How dare you be so rude!" stuttered Nega in a fury.
Cosmo turned to him with her hands on her hips, "Oh yes where are my manners, oversized talking EGGS!" Everyone gasped as she continued to rant, "One more more destructive act out either of you, and I'll get my frying pan and scramble both of you into an omelet with a side of sausages!"
Nega was cowering behind his father wide-eyed as Eggman said quietly, "Calm down Aunty Cosmo. It's Christmas..."
"Well, if you piss me off again, you'll be spending Christmas in HELL!" She then cleared her throat before saying in her normal sweet voice, "Now lets get inside. Its freezing out here! Come on!"
After an awkward silence, Eggman whispered to Tails, "Sure you want to be a part of this family? There's still time for you to back out..."
"Um, I'm sure she's just going through a phase... I hope..." replied Tails.
"Maybe it's her time of the month?" suggested Manic, "Women get very vicious at that time..."
"Just what are you trying to say?" said Sonia as she glared at her brother.
"Well once you get to know a girl long enough, you can tell when she's having THAT time... And you're no exception..."
Blaze smacked him with a smoldering hand, "You know absolutely nothing about women! Ugh!"
"You'd be surprised what I know..." answered Manic with a wink.
Blaze replied, "Well I know a lot about men. Like what happens when you do this with high heels!" With that, Blaze's delivered a swift strong kick between his legs, making Manic collapse into a snow pile and utter a high pitch remaining males grimaced as they proceeded to back away from Blaze, hands in front of their crotches to protect them from any further disgrace on the males.
"Hm, maybe my son Manic & Rouge should be together," said Shadow in an attempt to lighten the mood while lifting up Manic, "They both like to steal, they both like to hint at the expense of others..."
"You have a point there..." added Tails, playing along while putting some more distance from the women.
"What do you think son? I can hook you up, although you may have to fight an echidna for her, but he's stupid and should be no match for you."
Manic managed to squeak, "Thanks but no thanks Dad. I've had enough of girls for a while."
"Sure about that? I could have GUN ignore any robberies on your first date. Besides, a kick like that works as good as any vasectomy. No risk of pregnancy, so you won't make the same mistake as I did, or your brother, or your sister, or your nephew..."
"Wow, we have a lot of pregnancy issues in this family," called out Sonia, "Maybe we should have all the guys get vasectomies..."
Blaze smiled as she tapped the tips of her heels on the ground, "I can take of that!"
"Of course you'd like that," replied Shadow, "Crack open our nuts, then you'll be able to dig in whenever you want without the risk of children... Just what any horny woman would like..." Everybody's jaws dropped at Shadow's remark, with Sonia and Blaze shyly looking away embarrassed. "What, after everything that's happened in this family, I'm just tellin things how they are."
"Well, with that said," cut in Tails, "Lets go inside. Cosmos right, its freezing!"
Everyone awkwardly went inside and to the living room. To break the tense silence Eggman spoke up, "Say, where is that nasty little pincushion cousin of mine?"
(Line Break)
"Umm... Dad?" asked Silver nervously as they were in the Speed Star once more, desperately searching for Amy as they've checked about all of South Island, Apotos, and Spagonia while on route to double check Central City.
"What?" replied Sonic, not taking his eyes off the road.
"Can... Can... I drive for a little bit?"
"WHAT? And have you potentially wreck my sexy ass car?! Hell to the no!" scolded Sonic as Silver shrunk back scared in his seat, "Oh, sorry, I guess that was I was a little harsh..."
"Its fine... You're right, I would just wreck it... Like my marriage... Do you know what Blaze said to me on the way here?"
Sonic paused to read the stress and sadness on Silver's face before answering, "What did she say?"
"She said maybe we should start thinking about a... divorce. She said she just couldn't live with being married to a guy that slept with his aunt AND had a child by her. She had her 'reputation' to think of..."
"Oh... I'm sorry Silver. But Blaze is being too hard on had no idea Sonia was your aunt and how could you have known? It's still really gross and weird but still, you had no idea."
"I guess. But still..." Silver drew in a deep sad sigh as he leaned his chin on his hand, "I love her, I don't want to live life without her..." Sonic glanced at Silver and couldn't help but feel sorry for his son. A few more minutes went by before he suddenly pulled over. "Dad? What are you doing?"
"We're pretty much here but I'll tell you what, you can back the car into the space."
"REALLY?! WE JUST HAD THAT EMOTIONAL MOMENT THAT SHOULD'VE BONDED US CLOSER TOGETHER AS A FATHER AND SON AND YOU'RE ONLY GOING TO LET ME BACK IT UP?! GET THE FUCK OUT OF THE WAY!" Silver suddenly used his telekinesis to throw Sonic into the passenger's seat while Silver got into the front seat, flooring the Speed Star and making it crash into several other cars before transforming into Plane Form and skyrocketing out of the city with a boom.
"SILVER! What in Chaos' name are you doing?!"
"I think I know where Amy is now, just let me drive ok! Gosh, backseat drivers are annoying..." Silver then skillfully swerved the Speed Star around in a series of loops in the air before heading far from the city and into the wilderness.
"Whoa! Where did you learn those moves?!"
"Oh please, the vehicles you guys have are child's play compared to those in the future!"
(Line Break)
Back at Tails and Cosmo's house everyone was inside and enjoying cups of hot coco. Cosmo gathered up a few empty mugs and went into the kitchen as Tails followed her, helped her wash out the mugs, and refill them as Eggman stood and began to recount a overglorified tale of how he almost killed Sonic. Before they left the kitchen, Tails touched her on the shoulder, asking, "Cosmo, are you alright?"
"Yes, why?" she replied confusedly.
"Its just that you've been all over the place tonight. Like mood swings by the second."
"Really? I didn't notice I was doing that! I'm sorry Tails."
"Its fine but I wanted to make sure you're ok. Any idea why you've been doing that?"
"None at all. I don't know what could possibly be-" A loud CRASH! sounded from the living room. Tails and Cosmo ran into the living room to find everyone frozen in their seats with their mouths agape and Eggman was standing in the middle of the floor with one arm stretched out in mid-sweeping motion over a shelf on the wall. At his feet was the shattered remains of a small pot. Spilling out of it was potting soil and the rare Flowering Bonsai Tree. When Cosmo had left her planet to come live with Tails, her sister gave her the tree to remind her off home. It was Cosmo's most treasured possession and now it lay in two pieces for the trunk of the small tree had broken on impact. Cosmo slowly walked over to the remains of the tree and fell to her knees. The tears were spilling down her face as she buried her face in her hands.
"Eggman what did you do?!" shouted Tails angrily.
"It was an accident! I was merely recounting my epic tale of near glory! Besides, its just a stupid plant." the scientist retorted.
"JUST A STUPID PLANT?! JUST A STUPID PLANT?! WELL I'LL SHOW YOU A PISSED OFF PLANT THEN YOU FATASS SON OF A BITCH!" screeched Cosmo in a rage as she lunged at Eggman. Tails caught her by the waist and pulled her back as she struggled against him. "LET ME GO! I'M GOING TO KILL HIM! LET ME GO!"
Tails pulled her into the kitchen, "Cosmo, what's gotten into you?!" Cosmo broke free of Tails grip, grabbed a large 10 inch knife and dashed towards the living room with a crazed look. "COSMO PUT THAT KNIFE DOWN!" Tails chased after her and grabbed her wrist causing Cosmo to whirl around and stab him in the shoulder. Tails let go with a cry of pain and Cosmo ran into the living room.
"OH SHIT LOOK OUT! SHES GONE CRAZY!" screamed Eggman as Cosmo ran at him.
"Father!" cried out Nega as he ran into his Death Egg Robot and aimed an arm at Cosmo, "Step away from him you crazed cow!"
"COW?! Fine, I'll kill YOU TOO!" shouted Cosmo as she turned to Shadow and called out, "Give me your gun, and not just any, GIVE ME THE SHADOW RIFLE!"
"Obviously, you are mentally and emotionally compromised. As a responsible person I cannot allow you to have-"
"GIVE ME THE DAMN GUN!"
"I don't even have it on me!" shouted Shadow as he backed away slowly into a corner, Cosmo stomping madly towards him.
"BULLSHIT! SHADOW ALWAYS HAS HIS SHADOW RIFLE ON HIM!" cried out Cosmo as she reached behind Shadow and forcefully took his Shadow Rifle.
"My... My Hammerspace has been violated!" cried Shadow as he fell to the floor and shuddered, "How... How is that even possible..."
"And now for YOU to spend Christmas in HELL!" Cosmo pointed the Shadow rifle first at the Nega's Death Egg Robot and fired, but the massive recoil threw her back into the corner with Shadow.
"Shadow!" called Tails as he came from the kitchen with a makeshift bandage wrapped around his wound, "Get that away from her!" Shadow tried to wrestle the gun away from Cosmo but she elbowed him in the face, knocking him into the wall.
She turned the rifle on him, "STAY OUT OF MY WAY! I'LL SHOOT YOU TOO!"
"Just calm down Cosmo. Put down the rifle. You don't want to do this, so just put it down..."
"OH I WANT TO DO THIS, BELIEVE ME! YOU KNOW, I NEVER GOT PAYBACK FOR YOU TRYING TO KILL ME ON THE TYPHOON!"
During this whole fiasco Sonia, Manic, and Blaze were sitting on the sofa, trying to be still as Manic whispered, "Just stay still dudetes, she won't notice us if we don't move..."
"Idiot, that's T-Rexes! And thats not even true!" shot back Sonia.
"Pissed off pregnant chicks, T-Rexes, aren't they all the same?"
"Ugh, where's Silver when I actually need him..." whispered Blaze.
"Come to think about it, where are Sonic and Silver?"
(Line Break)
Sonic & Silver were still in the Speed Star as they flew over a series of mountains and valleys filled with grass, trees, and flowers of all kinds, slowly approaching a lake. "Never Lake? I guess it makes sense but what made you choose here right off the bat?" asked Sonic.
"Call it a father's intuition?" replied Silver as he lowered the Speed Star behind a few boulders, "Now where could she be... WHAT THE?!"
At the lakeside Amy was standing, staring at the sky where Little Planet would appear once a year. However, it was gone at the moment as Amy said out loud, "This is it. The place where I first met Sonic all those those years ago... I was so sure we were destined to be. But no, I was wrong. He's my grandfather and I'm nothing more than a retarded incest bastard child. There's no place in Sonic's heart for me and there never will be. No man could ever love me and I could never bring myself to love another. Sonic was supposed to be my husband, the father of my children, but that dream is forever dashed! I have no reason or right to live! I'll drown myself in the happy memories here and maybe, I'll find peace." With those last words, Amy walked up to a high cliff above the water and started to jump off.
"WAIT!" cried out Silver as he used his telekinesis to stop her descent and bring her back up to him and Sonic, "WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?!"
"Daddy? Sonic? What are you doing here?"
"We haven't heard anything from you since what happened on the Black Comet, so we wanted to see what was up." replied Sonic.
"Why didn't you tell us about this?!" added Silver.
"I'm not worth the trouble. I'm just a child who was never meant to be born! Just go away, let me jump!"
"No! Your are worth the trouble! You're my daughter, I would go through hell and back for you! I love you and so does your mother!"
"Silver is right Amy! I know its a little awkward after everything we've found out but that doesn't mean I don't have ANY place in my heart for you. You're a great friend, and my granddaughter for crying out loud."
Silver spread open his arms towards Amy, "Please honey, all of us love you! We would be devastated if you died! Come back to Cosmo and Tails' house with us so we can spend Christmas together as a family. Please..."
Amy looked over the cliff at the watery demise she had planned for herself and back at Silver and Sonic before bursting into tears and running into Silver's arms, "Oh Daddy I'm so sorry! I love you!"
"I love you too Amy." replied Silver as he and Sonic hugged her tightly.
"Lets go back to Tails and Cosmo's house, everyone's waiting for us!" said Sonic as they went back to the Speed Star.
"Ok... I bet that place is in Chaos without you Daddy and Grandpa..." added Amy as she started to walk away from the cliff and to the Speed Star.
"Hey Silver, come here for a second."
"What is it Dad?" hesitantly asked Silver.
"You did a good job handling that... Son..."
"Really?!" cried out Silver as he tackled Sonic, "You mean it?"
"Ow yes now please get off of me Silver!"
"Hey!" called back Amy as she dove towards them, "Daddy, don't tackle Grandpa Sonic without me!"
"Oh come on guys! Ow easy on the quills! Ok ok, enough! Lets get to Tails and Cosmo's house." Silver and Amy released Sonic and the three hopped into the Speed Star and took off for the house, unaware of what was waiting for them.
(line Break)
Sonic, Silver, and Amy walked up to the front door as Sonic stopped in front of them with his ears perked, "Do you hear that?"
Silver listened before answering, "Is that shouting?"
Amy went to the door and began to turn the knob, "Oh, I'm sure that it's just the Eggmen telling some BS story. Come on, its cold out here!" As they walked inside, they found Cosmo bright red with anger as she held up Shadow's Rifle, aimed at everyone else who was cowering in a corner scared out of their minds. "What the heck is going on here?!"
"Sonic!" called out Tails, who was at the front of the group due to everyone continuously nudging him forward as he tried to backup, "About time you showed up; Cosmo is out of control! Even I can't do anything against this!"
"Silver!" called out Blaze, "WHERE THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN?!"
"I was finding my daughter and bonding with my father Blaze!" shouted back Silver, bringing out his own rage, "I don't care what you have to say about my family, they are my family regardless of what has happened and if you can't stand it then maybe we should get a divorce!"
Everyone, even Cosmo, froze at what Silver had just shouted. Amy rushed next to Silver with Sonic behind them as Blaze stood up and replied, "Do... you really mean that?"
Silver drew himself up to his full height and puffed out his chest. He put an arm around Amy's shoulder, looked back at Sonic, then looked Blaze in the eye and replied, "Yes I do."
"I... I guess I have been a bit harsh... Maybe a divorce wouldn't be the best idea without trying to work things out... Silver... I'm sorry..."
(line break)
"AW THAT IS SOOO SWEET!" cried out Cosmo as she collapsed to the floor in a fountain of tears, allowing everyone to get up safely, Shadow to reclaim his Rifle, and for Tails to comfort Cosmo, "Tails, I'm so sorry for everything I've done!"
"It's ok Cosmo..." replied Tails as Cosmo cried into his shoulder, "but if you don't mind, why have you been all over the place lately? Why did you get mad to the point of using Shadow's Rifle against us?"
"That's an easy answer Tails!" called out Blaze & Sonia, "When a girl is like that, that means that..."
"I'm... pregnant Tails..." muttered Cosmo.
"Oh my..." shockingly answered Tails as the guys stared at Cosmo then at Tails.
"Whoa, never thought the little guy had it in him..." said Manic.
"That puffball, doing THAT to my sister?" added Shadow, "I don't believe it..."
"Tails," started Sonic, "in all my years I never would've thought that you would do such a thing! Getting a girl pregnant before marriage!"
"Oh shut up Sonic," called back Tails, "You, Shadow, and Silver all had One-Night Stands!"
"But you're supposed to be the good, innocent person in the family!" countered Eggman, "yet you did it with Cosmo before marriage!"
"You just couldn't wait a bit longer could you?" added Nega, "Sigh, I need to find a girl of my own..."
"Oh no, we can take all these one-night stands and stuff," called out Sonic, "BUT ANOTHER EGGMAN, NO WAY!"
"Can we just eat dinner now?" weakly said Tails, blushing at all the comments made, "Please tell me you have dinner made dear Cosmo..."
A timer in the kitchen rang as Cosmo replied sweetly, "Dinner is ready!" before skipping to the door and hinting, "Maybe later you can tell the guys how you got me drunk with some wine and did those pleasuring things to me with your two tails you naughty kitsune..."
"WHAT?!" cried out Tails as the girls' jaws dropped while the guys called out to taunt him.
Shadow looked at the large bottle of holiday wine, "Maybe I shouldn't have brought this." He smiled up at Tails cruelly, "You seem to have have it covered puffball, or should I say hardball?"
"Why did she have to hit that mood..."
"Hey, maybe she'll stay in that mood and you'll get lucky and 'score' an extra Christmas gift!" added Silver while elbowing Tails.
"Son!" called out Sonic, "Don't talk like that in front of your daughter!"
"Oh please!" retorted Amy, "I've thought of far kinkier things before!"
"Say what?" said Sonic & Silver in unison.
"Nevermind... Time to eat right mother?!"
"Yeah..." answered Sonia and Blaze before staring at each other, both giving a death glare.
"Oh my," muttered Silver.
"Yeah, good luck with that son..." muttered back Sonic.
Line Break
Cosmo poked her head out of the kitchen calling out, "Dinner is on the table! Come on, come on before it gets cold!" Everyone went into the kitchen and all of them took a seat at the table.
"Since you're the head of the family now, you should sit at the head of the table Shadow." said Tails pointing.
"No no, you should sit there. After all, it's your house and you're getting lucky tonite." replied Shadow with another sneer and a laugh. With an angry glare and some muttering Tails sat down at the head of the table. After a warm and delicious dinner of ham, mashed potatoes, green beans, figgy pudding, and a pecan pie, the family gathered around the Christmas Tree in the living room, which was overflowing with gifts due to the sheer size of the family.
Tails picked up a present and read the label, "To: Shadow From: Sonic. Awww little Sonny got gift for his daddy!"
"Shut up, you're just trying to get peoples' attention away from your 'gift'!" retorted a red-faced Sonic while Shadow opened his gift.
"Oh... My... Chaos..." gasped Shadow as he moved the wrapping paper aside and reached into the medium sized box, holding up a set of customized dual Colt Revolvers. They had a glimmering finish and engraved in red on their wooden grips was, 'To a Dad who's way past cool.'
"AAAWWWWWW!" came the response from the family as Sonic looked to the side while Shadow said, "Son, these are some damn fine antique Colts... How did you find two of such a classic model let alone get them finished like this?"
"It took a lot of looking around, but being the fastest thing alive it was no sweat... Heh..."
Shadow got up and hugged Sonic who hugged him back, earning another, "AAAWWWWW!" and a loud sob from Cosmo.
"Oh please don't cry Cosmo..." said Tails in a comforting way while reaching for another gift, "Not until you open my gift anyways..." Tails handed Cosmo a thin box of decent size with a big white bow. She slowly unwrapped the present and lifted the lid. She gasped which turned into a sob. Cosmo pulled a beautiful, white wedding dress out of the box. it was long enough to sweep the floor and on the skirt was sparkling with beads and the bosom of the dress had very light green, delicate, silk roses.
"Oh Tails... Its beautiful!" sobbed Cosmo, "Its absolutely beautiful!"
Tails took her hands and said, "Cosmo, I found a way for us to be married on February 14th. I know thats a little soon but-"
"YES! YES OF COURSE!" cried Cosmo as she tackled him to the floor and began to kiss him.
"Whoa, get a room you two, then you can make her say 'YES' all you want!" interrupted Shadow, a bit jealous that his moment was abruptly over, "Sigh. Times like this make me long a flame of my own."
Line Break
"AHEM, WHAT ABOUT ALEENA?!" called out Sonic angrily, somewhat dark at that statement, "You know, the girl you fucked then left to have, hm, ME! WHEN ARE YOU GOING BACK TO HER?!" There was a clang as the mailslot of the house opened and shut, "Huh? Mail on Christmas Eve?"
Sonia went over to find a postcard. She cried out, "Its from Mom!" Manic and Sonic rushed to either side of her and gasped.
Nega scoffed, "I feel sorry for that mail carrier. Oh, wait, no I don't."
Eggman added thoughtfully, "No no son, there's no mail on holidays."
"But dudes! That means..." said Manic slowly. The triplets yanked open the front door and dashed onto the porch.
They looked around wildly in all directions until Sonia cried, "Over there!" Disappearing into the snow was a Mobian wearing a red hooded cloak.
"MOM! COME BACK!" called out Sonic. The Mobian stopped and turned their head slightly revealing a snout and purple bangs before she continued to walk and vanish into the white. The triplets went solemnly back inside as Sonic picked up the postcard where Sonia had dropped it, "Well... at least we still have this..."
"Don't just stare at it, read it!" demanded Manic.
Sonic read from the front of the card, "Dear, Sonia, Sonic, and Manic, I'm sorry that we must spend yet another Christmas separated. It tears me apart that we cannot be together during this holiday but know this my wonderful children, I will always love you and I will always be with you in your hearts. Check the back of this card to find your Christmas present. -Love Mom Present?" Sonic turned the card over to find three pictures of Queen Aleena attached. Each triplet took a picture and sighed sadly.
Shadow looked over their shoulders and whistled a cat call, "Whoa! I've been missing out! She hasn't aged a day!"
"What do you mean by that?" asked Sonia.
"You see daughter, there are two kinds of women in this world. There are those who age like cheese and become musty and moldy, and then there are those who age like wine, who become more refined with each passing year and Aleena my dear looks like the finest of wines, if you know what I mean."
"Say what now Dad?" said Manic shockingly, "You calling our mom Aleena a MILF?"
"Say wha?"
"MILF: Mother I'd like to... well... you know..."
"Uh..." stuttered Shadow, starting to blush slightly.
"Yeah DAD, care to answer?" added Sonic angrily, picking up one of the Colts he gave to Shadow, "Or do I have to demonstrate this for you?"
"Well not necessarily..." Shadow tried to say calmly as he drew the other Colt up, "but perhaps I ought to find her for the comfort of you guys, my children..."
Before things deteriorated Silver quickly used his telekinesis to grab both Colts and aim them at Shadow & Sonic, "Grandpa, Dad, DON'T GO THERE! You wouldn't want to show this violence to my daughter would you?" added Silver as he elbowed Amy to put on a cheesy innocent look.
"Fine..." muttered Sonic, "This isn't over yet Dad... Anyways, who was next?"
Speed Break! *Sigh* No just a Line Break lol
"It's my turn blue rat!" shouted Eggman as he shoved the hedgehogs aside to pick up a remote control he left on a nearby table, pressing a switch.
"Blue rat?!"
"That reminds me, I hope you don't mind that I borrowed your books about the Arabian Nights and King Arthur."
"I DO MIND! Why did you take those?!"
"Just wanted to make up for lost time with my son..."
"..."
"... and also see what the Erazor and Black Knight did wrong to beat you..."
"Well at least you might give me a better challenge than those two, but anyways hurry up!"
"Wait a moment! Damn, what's taking them so long?!" shouted Eggman as the door opened to show Orbot and Cubot each carrying a box inside, one tall and one wide yet slightly bigger than their own size.
"Here are the gifts boss!" called out Cubot in his standard high pitched voice.
"Eggman Nega, these are for you, enjoy..." added Orbot with a sarcastic tone at the end. All of the sudden the boxes shook and rattled until they tore apart, showing a tall robotic rooster and a stout drill & tank tread bearing machine.
"BAWK-HA HA! Scratch and Grounder reporting for duty your Obese-ness." crowed Scratch as he saluted.
"Yes, thank you for reactivating us your Round-ness! We'll get that pesky hedgehog for sure this time!" added Grounder.
"YOU FOOLS! I'm not your master anymore! He is!" scolded Eggman as he pointed to Nega, "You shall serve my son with whatever he commands you now that I have new updated help..."
"Oh my..." muttered Nega before shouting, "SCRATCH? GROUNDER? You are the... BEST FATHER EVER! Giving me some of your first robotic minions as my own firsts?! Thank you! I'll be sure to make my own from these!"
"I've even added the blueprints of some of my Badniks in their memory for you to study and use; after you perfect making them you can have my plans for SWAT-Bots and perhaps even my iconic Egg Pawns."
Blaze whispered to Silver, "My job just got a hell of alot easier."
"Thank you so much! I'll be sure to outrig them with all kinds of weapons from the future to update them! Homing Missiles, Mind Control Rays, Paralysis Bombs, Poison, the possibilities are endless!"
"Looks like you spoke too soon." Silver replied.
Line Break
"Shit... Anyways, who's next?" added Blaze cheesily.
Silver got a nicely wrapped box from the shrinking pile, "You're next my sweet." Blaze took the small box with flushed cheeks and pulled off the ribbon, slowly opened the box, and gasped. Inside was a ruby brooch not unlike the small stone on her forehead, for it appeared to be carved in layers so that when it was turned in the light, it appeared to burn. Silver removed it from the box and pinned it to Blaze's top, "Perfect."
Blaze's eyes began to tear, "Silver... Its gorgeous!"
Cosmo burst out with a sob, "Oh Chaos why do i keep crying?!"
Tails hugged her and and patted her belly, "Calm down, its just the baby. So who's left? This one's for... Sonia. From: Manic."
"Manic?" said Sonia surprised, "Oh boy, what did you get me, another dirty shirt from the Underground?"
"You're never going to let that one go are you?!" retorted Manic, "I actually paid top dollar for this gift!"
"Top dollar to the best robber?"
"A hedgehog never tells where his/her gifts come from, now go on!"
"Well it feels awfully light..." muttered Sonia as she opened the box up and pulled out a slip of paper, "Hm... A claim ticket for a... A VICTORIAN CONCERT GRAND PIANO?!"
"Well yeah, I noticed that you kept looking at that thing nonstop every time we went downtown. I never understood why you'd want that since you have your medallion, but I never did understand fancy rich stuff right?"
"This must have cost you a fortune! How did you get it? You didn't steal it or anything suspicious did you?!"
"No way sis, he got it legit," added Sonic, "I was even there when he bought it; he was saving for a few years just to buy that for you, hence all the bad gifts in the past, and even then I had to throw in some rings of my own."
Line Break
"The last gift is for you Amy." said Silver as he handed a gift basket to Amy.
She read the tag out loud, "To: Amy From: Silver, Sonic, and Shadow. Awww you all got me present! I can't wait to see what it is!" She carefully undid the wrapping and pulled off the bow. She pulled out a card, opened it, and read it, "'Dear Ames, things have been really rough lately so you deserve a night out at one of the most jumping joints in town. Have fun. -Sonic.' Oh my gosh! A VIP Pass into Emerald Paradise! Thats the fanciest club this side of the globe! How did you..."
Sonic shrugged casually, "I DJ there. Besides, this way I can keep an eye you too, heh heh."
Amy pulled the next item from the basket, "EEEEEEEE! Its a coupon for a full treatment at Fabulous Quills Beauty Salon!"
"Of course! When a girl goes out to a fancy club, she need a do to match." Said Silver with a grin.
Amy tackled him in a hug, "Thank you so much Daddy!"
"AHEM!" said Shadow impatiently, "Theres still one more thing in the basket."
Amy found a small, well wrapped box and opened it, "Wow! Little pink pistols! But umm... What are they for Grandpa Shadow?"
"To keep the men away."
"But I wanna meet men. I have to find a new love of my life you know."
"Alright fine, just the bad men."
"How do I tell the difference?"
"The bad ones just have that look about them, its like uhhh..." put in Sonic as he turned to Shadow and Silver, "Who wants to demo?"
Cosmo spoke up, "Like this Amy!" She then turned and gave Tails the most evil, ill-intentioned look that screamed rape and possibly murder afterwards.
"I need an adult..." whimpered Tails as Cosmo scooted closer to him.
With everyone's presents opened, the family sat and talked about the next time they would gather. As ideas were being thrown around, nobody noticed that Scratch and Grounder snuck off to the corner. "I don't get it Scratch! I just don't get it! Why would Robotnik being hanging out with the hedgehog? And who are all of these other people?" asked Grounder as he scratched his head.
"Who cares who the others are! I bet this is a genius plan by Robotnik so we can nab the hedgehog! He'll be so proud of me!" replied Scratch.
"You mean of us!"
"Whatever! Just get him!" As everyone was talking, Sonic had started to strum Jingle Bells on his guitar. Much to everyones amazement, Eggman actually said something funny and the family was collapsed in laughter. "Now's our chance Grounder! Get him!"
Sonic swung his guitar and it smashed into their faces, "Nice try dumb bots!" The two fell over with stars and blots circling their heads.
"Did we get him?" groaned Grounder.
"No numb nuts, he got US!" replied Scratch weakly.
Sonic laughed and said, "Looks like you two still have a couple loose screws that need to be tightened!"
Tails face palmed, "Oh boy! This sure brings back memories! Sonic, please tell me you're not going to start breaking the fourth wall too?"
Sonic looked at the reader and winked, "Only to end the story Tails, only to end the story. MERRY CHRISTMAS!"
"God bless us, everyone." added Tails with a grin.
Shadow jumped in, "Tails you can't say that! You might offend people! Besides morons, when this posted, Christmas will be long gone in Earth time! As a matter of fact, it's almost New Years!"
Silver crossed his arms, "The Christmas spirit never dies. Besides, can we help it if the authors were lazy and slow?"
"They are way too slow." replied Sonic with a shake of his head.
Tails shouted, "Ok, ok! Let's end this already!"
"Geez don't get your tails in a twist! Well Happy New Year's everyone!"
Authors' Notes (Original Notes):
SonicFanaticInc.: Sorry this took so long. There was a lot things Werehog and me wanted to do but we weren't sure how to fit them all in. But we got it done regardless! We hope you enjoyed the misadventures of this extremely dysfunctional family. But hey, at least they're trying. We had a lot of fun typing this up and we most certainly look forward to other major holidays. But don't expect anything for News Years though! We're taking a day off! Thanks for reading, I hope you enjoyed it, and please don't forget to review.
Werehog20: Thanks for reading, even though this is way late. Unlike SonicFanaticInc I did have a basic idea for what to do, I just needed some help getting it all down lol. We won't do anything for New Year's, but I'm not taking a break since I have a bunch of things planned to post on my own page. Thanks for reading and I hope you check out other stories that we both have!