Disclaimer: I don't own the Transformers, I just like to write about them.

Chapter 2

The rec room was mercifully empty when they arrived; most of the Autobots were on shift or patrol, so they had the place to themselves.

Spike started grumbling about not being able to have a sandwich almost immediately, which prompted Bluestreak into asking various questions about human food to anyone who would answer, while Wheeljack explained the different grades of energon to Sparkplug, who sighed heavily and asked if coffee would do his systems any harm.

Sunstreaker opened the refrigerator that contained the human food and looked at it dubiously, "So what's good?" he asked.

"Anything but the tub marked 'chilli'," Spike grinned, "Dad makes it and it'll blow your socks off."

"Thanks for the warning," Bluestreak nodded as he glanced at his feet with a puzzled expression before he stepped up beside his partner, "What's that?"

"Ham."

Bluestreak inspected it and continued quizzing Spike on the merits of various foodstuffs, Wheeljack sniffed the 'chilli' suspiciously and opted of something safer. He finished up making a plate of sandwiches, as Bluestreak's natural inquisitiveness prevented him from making a decision and Sunstreaker didn't seem to want to do much of anything except glare.

As they finally took their seats around the table, Jazz and Prowl joined them. Chip didn't even bother to hide his curiosity and asked what he'd been up to at the first opportunity.

"I can't rely on others to carry me around," Jazz explained, "So I went to see Perceptor about making me something."

"You could have asked me," Wheeljack put in.

"You're going to be busy," Prowl snapped.

"Damn straight," Carly snapped, "Spike and I are getting married in three months and if we're not back in our own bodies by then so help me I'll…"

"'Jack will have us all back to right long before then," Jazz soothed her in a tone that left no room for argument before he looked back to the engineer, "But if it means that much to you, swing by his lab tomorrow morning," Jazz added in a calmer tone, "I can't imagine that you'll be able to do much until the your lab is cleared anyway."

Wheeljack nodded and looked at the plate in the middle of the table, "So, who's first?"

"This is still all your fault," Sunstreaker said pointedly.

"Sunny that's enough," Jazz and Bluestreak said together, and to save any further arguments Jazz picked up one of the sandwiches and bit into it.

An assortment of flavours burst into his mouth as he started chewing slowly.

"Well?" Bluestreak prompted him.

"It's good," he announced with his mouth full, "What is it?"

"Tuna, mayo and salad," Spike informed him, "Nothing ground breaking but it's nice enough."

Encouraged by Jazz' example Bluestreak and Wheeljack selected something for themselves. Sunstreaker was the last to give something a try but he did have the grace to deem it, 'not bad,' after a few bites.

After that there was a brief flurry of activity as the four humans tried each other's food and compared flavours, so it was a few minutes before any of them realised that not one of the 'bots had tried the energon that Sideswipe had gotten for them.

"Go on," Bluestreak prompted them, "It's good and you can't really function without it, so you're going to have to have some sooner or later."

Spike took the plunge first and sipped the liquid.

"So?" his father asked.

"It's okay, doesn't really taste of much but it kinda tingles."

The other three gave it a try and agreed that it wasn't unpleasant.

"I'm still going to miss coffee though," Sparkplug muttered.

"What's coffee?" Bluestreak asked. He was really starting to regret that he had paid very little attention to what humans consumed, but he'd never thought that one day he might need the information.

"Something I doubt you'll ever need," Sparkplug chuckled, "But there's a pot on the side if anyone else fancies some."

Wheeljack rose and retrieved a glass container of almost black fluid, four cups and, at Carly's suggestion, milk and sugar.

Bluestreak tried some and made a face.

"Too much of this could be a bad idea," Jazz said with a mischievous grin.

"Why?" Prowl asked, his tone making it obvious that he wasn't sure that he wanted to know the answer.

"Well you know how I get on too much high-grade…"

Wheeljack made a half-hearted attempt at taking the cup from the younger man but Jazz had lost none of his reaction speed because of the body-swap and pulled the cup close to his chest to keep it safe.

The four 'bots that were usually human watched them in puzzled amusement and seeing their confusion, Bluestreak took it upon himself to explain things. "Most mechs relax after a few cups of high-grade but it makes Jazz hyperactive."

"I can actually be worse than Blue," Jazz interjected, "Drives Prowl nuts."

"Doesn't do the rest of us any favours either," Wheeljack added, "Jazz with too much energy usually results in him teaming up with Sideswipe and from there anything is possible. The problem is that even when he's over-energised, Jazz is much better at covering his tracks than Sides."

"When your partner is also your commanding officer, you have to be," Jazz finished.

"I'm going to pretend that I didn't hear that," Prowl said dryly and his bond-mate shot him a winning smile that had lost none of its potency in the switch.

The conversation continued for a while but as no one really felt up to answering the barrage of questions that the rest of the Ark's crew would no doubt pose, they retreated to the quarters the twins shared before the shift change was due.

There, the question of who was going to sleep or recharge where arose.

"Do I have to recharge with those two?" Sideswipe asked with a gesture toward Spike and Carly.

"You stay in the same room even though Sunstreaker and Bluestreak are a couple?" Carly asked in surprise.

"Most of the time," Sideswipe nodded, "Sunny and I don't like being separated and with our bond, I know what he's doing anyway, so it doesn't make much difference. I do have my own partner though and sometimes I stay with him."

"Is every 'bot in the Ark at it?" Spike asked before he really thought about how best to ask the question. "I mean, we thought we knew a lot about you, but you've given us more surprises in the last hour than you have in the last five years."

"We know that it's a lot to take in, Spike," Prowl began diplomatically, "But this unit has been together for a long time. We've had to trust each other, and in most cases that trust has led to strong friendships, but in a few it's progressed into love."

"To answer your question," Jazz continued, "No, not all of us have partners. I'd say about half the Arks crew, but some of us, like Prime and Ironhide left theirs on Cybertron."

"So Prime has a…" Sparkplug said hesitantly.

"A femme," Wheeljack said, "a female by your standards but the difference is more of a personality based than anatomically."

"Do you have someone, Wheeljack?" Carly asked.

The engineer nodded, "But what he'll make of this is anyones guess, he's not really a fan of humans."

Bluestreak interrupted any further line of inquiry by yawning loudly, and then looking surprised enough to make a few members of the group grin at him.

"I guess that brings back to our original subject," Jazz mused, "So what are we going to do Prowl?"

"Technically, as third in command, berth allocations are your responsibility," the tactician shot back.

"I've been relieved of duty," Jazz pointed out with a chuckle.

"Then ask Ironhide," Prowl responded, a triumphant smile pulling at his lip components.

"No one listens to him anyway," Jazz smirked, "Okay," he sighed, "Well, us humans are easy as we have quarters that are adapted for us. Sparkplug, you might as well take over Wheeljack's rooms, and I should think there'd be enough space to put Chip in with you, Spike and Carly can recharge here but Sides, I think you'd be better off moving in with…" he suddenly trailed off and looked towards the red twin.

Sideswipe shrugged, "They're going to find out sooner or later," he mumbled and four pairs of optics turned to him curiously. "It's Ratchet,"

"How on Earth did…?" Sparkplug exclaimed before he clamped his own hand over the place where his mouth would have been if it hadn't been for the mask Wheeljack always wore.

"He got me drunk," Sideswipe answered without hesitation, but there was a hint of mischief in his optics as he watched Sparkplug try to process the information. When it became clear that the Lancia's C.P.U. wasn't going to crash he shrugged and looked at Jazz. "It's almost a shame he didn't get switched with Prowl, that would have fragged his logic circuits for sure."

Sparkplug chuckled half-heartedly, "I guess I deserved that," he admitted, "I'm sorry Sideswipe, but Ratchet would be the last mech…" he cut himself off hoping that he hadn't already offended the red twin.

"The way Ratchet tells it, they got each other drunk," Jazz grinned, "But from what I've seen humans tend to go for partners that have a lot of common interests," he continued in a more thoughtful tone, "That's not often the case for us, we look for someone who compliments our personality. Look at Prowl and I, we're opposites in nearly every way, but that works for us, because where one of us might struggle with something, the other can step in and help out."

"I guess that makes sense," Sparkplug nodded, "Or at least as much sense as anything else that's happened today. But, if you guys don't mind I'm going to turn in and if I'm lucky this will all turn out to be a really odd dream. Are you coming Chip?"

"In a while."

With his farewells said Sparkplug left the room. He knew where Wheeljack's quarters were, he'd even visited them once or twice, but it wasn't until he reached the door that he realised he had forgotten to ask the engineer how to get in.

"Did you forget your pass-code again?" a smooth voice asked him while he was wondering what to do.

"Not as such," Sparkplug answered, before he turned to see Mirage heading toward him.

"It's a good thing that you gave it to me then, isn't it?" the spy grinned as he quickly entered the code.

Sparkplug let out a soft chuckle of relief as the door opened, "It's about time something went my way," he mumbled.

Mirage nodded sympathetically, "I heard you blew yourself up again, are you okay?"

"He thinks I'm Wheeljack, and he did mention a partner," Sparkplug realised just a second too late to stop the spy taking his hand, "Mirage, I…" he began hesitantly.

"It's alright," Mirage assured him tenderly, "I know that Ratchet has probably threatened all sorts of things to make sure you get a good recharge, but I won't stay long."

"How on Earth do you give a giant alien robot the brush off?" Sparkplug wondered with detached amusement. He felt as if his whole world had stopped making sense and to make matters worse, Mirage seemed to be moving in for a hug, or whatever giant alien robots did when they were more than just good friends, "I'm not Wheeljack," he said in a rather embarrassingly high-pitched squeak.

At least it made Mirage pause, "What?" he asked in a voice filled with confusion.

"I'm not Wheeljack," he repeated, grateful that at least he sounded calmer this time, "He was working on something that switched personalities, he'd mentioned it to me before, he liked the idea of being human just for a day or so, for scientific reasons or whatever logic his cracked processor uses, maybe he just thought it would be fun, I don't know, but that's what blew up, and it switched all of us."

The blue and white mech eyed him suspiciously. "So if you're not Wheeljack, who are you?" he asked tentatively.

"Sparkplug."

To his credit Mirage didn't fall over as he pulled away sharply, as Sparkplug was fairly sure he would have done if he had been in the mechs position, but Mirage did look horrified. "You mean to tell me that…" he gasped, "I've…" Mirage stopped dead, "Someone could have told me," he muttered angrily, "Most 'bots know that my comms haven't worked since the last battle, Primus above."

"I'm sure Wheeljack was going to tell you, but today has been a lot to take in, for all of us," Sparkplug said hurriedly. He was surprised to realise that he felt rather sorry for him. Mirage was among the more standoffish mechs on the Ark and didn't seem to have many friends, but it was obvious by then that he cared deeply and maybe even loved the engineer.

Mirage glared. Maybe trying to be sympathetic wasn't the way to handle him, but before Sparkplug could say anything else, the mech stalked off without a backwards glance.

As Sparkplug was having his rather-too-close-for-comfort encounter, the four current humans had left the twins' quarters, and headed down to the rooms set aside for their use, with Chip carrying Jazz carefully.

Sunstreaker and Wheeljack headed inside as soon as the door was open, leaving Chip and Jazz in the corridor while Bluestreak waited patiently to help his friend inside.

"Jazz," Chip said timidly, "Can I talk to you before you go?"

"Sure, Chip," his usual voice answered him, "What's on your mind?"

"I just wanted to make sure you were okay, you got a bad deal on who you got switched with after all."

"No, I didn't," Jazz disagreed.

"But…"

"Listen to me for a minute. We're lucky in a way that it was you I got switched with. Sunny and probably Blue would both struggle with this, I don't know about 'Jack but I know I can deal…"

"How…?"

"Do me a favour Chip?" Jazz requested, "Take off the visor."

"Huh?"

"Just do it."

It took a moment for Chip to work out how to do it, but he soon removed the band of blue crystal that usually hid Jazz' optics. "Is there a program I'm missing?" he asked, "I can't see."

"You're not missing anything," Jazz informed him, "Early in the war a city, Uraya, was destroyed. I was far enough away to survive, but the heat of the blast made a mess of my optic sensors. The little sight I still had wasn't much use so I started using scanners instead, "

"I'm sorry," Chip murmured sympathetically.

"Don't be. As far as I'm concerned, it was a fair price. I gained a lot more than I lost and I adapted, and it's the same with this. There'll be challenges, I know that, but I can beat them, always have."

Jazz watched as the mech carefully replaced the visor and looked down at him, "I never knew," he said weakly.

"Not many do, just the medics, Prowl of course, and a handful of others. By the time I joined this unit I already had the visor and I can see better with that than I ever could without it."

"How long were you blind for?" Chip asked as he replaced the band of blue glass.

"A little over twenty seven vorns," he hesitated as he tried to do the maths and found himself missing his C.P.U., "Somewhere 'round two thousand years."

"That's a long time," Chip agreed, "Thank you, for reassuring me."

"Anytime Chip, take care now," Jazz grinned as Chip lowered him gently into Bluestreak's arms.

"You too," Chip nodded and he left them quickly.

"What a day," Jazz murmured, "You okay?"

"I think so," Bluestreak answered, "It's a lot to get used to but there are bonuses," he smiled.

"There usually are," Jazz grinned, "I learned that a long time ago."

"In Uraya?"

Jazz nodded, "If I hadn't been there I wouldn't have found you, and I wouldn't have missed out on that for the world. C'mon let's get inside before 'Jack starts taking things apart to see how they work."