Chapter Two

He hadn't gone to the funeral; couldn't find the time, he had spent the first week after Michelle had been born running around and looking after her so he had never made it. Actually; that was the excuse he had given. In fact the reason he hadn't gone to Emma's funeral was because he couldn't face it. It would have been too hard. Looking down at the small headstone; the only reminder of her existence, he realised it had been a huge mistake not to go. He should have said goodbye then.

Snow covered her grave; it was winter and bitterly cold. It felt weird being back here after all this time. Dean hadn't been to this town since Shelly had been born and that was only for a few hours. It looked exactly the same as all those months ago when he had spent some of the happiest days of his life with an amazing woman. Now the town seemed empty and cold. He didn't feel like he belonged any longer. It was alien. He didn't want to be there. He didn't want Shelly to be there. Dean had wrapped Shelly up so he could take her to visit her mother's grave. He held her close to his chest as he wiped the snow away from the gravestone.

"Hi Emma," Dean felt stupid talking to a headstone; it wasn't like she could actually reply, but he still continued. "Sorry I haven't been here sooner but I've been a little busy. Actually that's not true; I've been avoiding visiting because it's too hard. You really hurt me; not just with what you said to me but because you didn't ask me for help. You never even tried to talk to me about what happened, did you think that little of me? How did you think I would react? Did you think that I would hate you? That I would kill you? Is that why you never told me?" He could feel the anger that he had tried so hard to bury rising up to the surface.

He paused to let the anger subside and he thought about what he had just said. Would he have tried to kill her? Usually such matters were black and white; if it was a werewolf then it would have to be killed. But could he have done that to Emma. Would he have looked her in the eye when he shot her in the heart? He'd never know now.

"I don't know if I would have killed you. I don't know if I could have done that but you never even gave me the chance to react to what had happened, you just took off and dealt with this on your own. Maybe I could've done something for you. I don't know what I could've done but it would've been easier than you dying alone.

"I'm sorry," he told her and he really meant it. His voice shook as he spoke and tears began to fill his eyes. "I'm sorry I couldn't save you. I'm sorry that you ever met me and that I ruined your life. I wish I could change things so that you could meet your daughter and get to see her grow up. I'm sorry," he repeated and the tears started to fall down his cheeks. He could feel his heart breaking all over again with the pain of not being able to save her.

He stopped speaking when he felt someone come up behind him. Visibly tensing; he prepared for an attack but it never came. After a few seconds he heard a soft crying coming from the person. He slowly turned around and saw a small woman; no more than 5 feet tall, about 50 years old. He guessed that she must be Emma's mother. He smiled gently as he greeted her.

"You must be Mrs. Potts," he said to her as he took a step towards her. She nodded in acknowledgement.

"Who are you?" She asked; her voice filled with sadness.

"My name is Dean."

"How did you know Emma?"

"We went out for a little while," he replied. "I met her about a year ago."

"Who is the baby?" Michelle asked; staring at the small child in Dean's arms.

"This is our daughter," he said; looking at Michelle.

"She never told me she was pregnant."

"I didn't know until after she died. She called me and asked me to meet her but she never came. A nurse from the hospital met me and told me everything. She wrote me a letter to explain why she did things the way she did. She named her after you."

"I didn't know," Emma's mother sobbed. "Why didn't she tell me?"

"I don't know," Dean replied; his voice soft. "Let's go somewhere a bit warmer and talk about this. I don't want to keep her out in the cold for too long," Michelle nodded and allowed herself to be led away by Dean.

He took her to a small café where they sat at a table and Dean tried to explain everything that had happened. He told her that he and Emma and gone out for a couple of months but they had broken up. He also told her that he had received a call from her asking to meet but when he did she had already died and that's when he had found out he had a daughter. Michelle stayed quiet throughout; staring into her cup of hot coffee as Dean spoke. When he finished she looked up.

"I can't believe she never told me any of this. I didn't even know she had died until the hospital told me. They never even said she was pregnant, just that she died from complications from surgery."

Dean felt his heart break a little when she said that. He knew the truth; it hadn't been from childbirth or surgery but from a deal made with a demon. Again; for the hundredth time in the last month; he wished they had never met because if they had never met then if she had made a deal it would have been for ten years. Not the nine months she had got just because she knew Dean. The Crossroads Demon had been vindictively cruel when it had offered that deal. It would have know she was desperate to save her own life but also that she would be more desperate to save the life of her unborn child.

"I am so sorry, I truly am," Dean told her as he gripped his mug tight. The hot mug burned his hands but he didn't let go.

"Why did you come?" Michelle asked. There was no bitterness or anger in her voice; she just wanted to know.

"Because my brother said I needed closure and he was right. Ever since I last saw her I've been carrying around all this anger and I needed to come here and let it all go. Besides; Shelly needs to know about her mom."

"You'll tell her?"

"When she's older I'll tell her all about Emma and what an amazing person she was. I know what it's like to grow up without a mother and my dad rarely ever talked about my mom but I'm not gonna do that. She's gonna know just how much Emma loved her."

"Thank you," Michelle smiled and Dean could feel all the pain and anger disappear. He felt himself begin to forgive Emma. "She's beautiful."

"She looks like Emma," Dean smiled; feeling immensely proud of his daughter. "She's the most beautiful little girl in the world."

"Can I hold her?"

"Sure," Dean said as he stood up and unfastened Shelly from her pushchair. He gently handed her to Michelle who cradled her in her arms.

"Emma looked exactly the same when she was a baby. I can't believe how alike they are."

"I can. I think she's gonna be exactly like Emma. I hope she's gonna grow up to be exactly like Emma."

"Can I keep in touch with the two of you? I'd really like to get to know her."

"I'd like that."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

He returned home late the next night to find Sam sitting up reading a book. Sam put the book down on the table and looked up at his brother. He still looked tired but there was a peaceful air about him. He no longer seemed angry.

"How was the trip?" He asked; but Dean stopped him.

"I just gotta put Shelly down; I won't be a minute," he told his brother before heading to the bedroom. A few moments later he returned and sat down on the sofa next to Sam. "Where's Joanne?"

"She's in bed."

"Oh, okay," Dean replied. "I guess that spare room comes in handy."

Sam smiled in acknowledgement of that comment. Dean had already painted the second bedroom in preparation for when Shelly was old enough to be in a room of her own. It was a little creepy sleeping in a pink room. "So how was the trip?"

"The trip went fine. You were right; I did need to let it all go." Dean stared down at his hands as they rested in his lap and he began to fidget slightly. Just because he'd let go of all of the bad feelings towards Emma didn't mean that he was any more comfortable with sharing his feelings.

"So it was a good thing?"

"Yeah it was. I met Emma's mom while I was there. We had a chat about things. It felt good to finally speak to someone about Emma. Someone who knew the real her. We spent hourse talking about her; she told me about what she was like as a child. It was good."

"What did she say about Shelly?"

"She loved her," Dean explained. "She wants to see her again."

"How do you feel about that?"

"I guess it's a good idea; she should get to know her grandmother. It'll be good for her. I just gotta figure out what I'm gonna do now."

"What do you mean?" Sam was a little confused. He thought Dean had sorted everything out. He had a home and a job; which was all he really needed. Most of all he had his family.

"I don't know what to do," Dean admitted; his voice quiet, he was almost embarrassed to be admitting it. "I know I need to be a good dad to her but I don't know if I can. It just all feels like its too much sometimes."

"Dean, you're gonna be a great dad; I already told you that a million times. You just need to have a little confidence. Joanne and I will stay for as long as you need us."

"Thanks Sam," Dean smiled. "I guess I just need some sleep. It's been a very long day."

"I understand. Just go to bed and I'll get up to check on Shelly."

Dean headed to bed and Sam did shortly after; taking the baby monitor with him in case Shelly woke. He snuggled up against Joanne.

"Dean home?" She asked him; enjoying the warmth of his body.

"Yeah, he just got back."

"How is he?"

"I think he's gonna be just fine."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

She wasn't going to be safe for long. Yes, she was well protected by two accomplished hunters but even they couldn't protect her forever. The minute they took their eyes off her then she would be hers. It was all planned; it had been from the moment her mother had sold her soul. The child had lived because of a sacrifice by her mother; otherwise the child would have been killed the moment she had been born. Add to the fact that she was the child of a Winchester and that made her very special indeed. She was vital to her plans. The time was fast approaching and they all needed to be prepared.

She needed Shelly and she needed her soon.