A/N: I want to thank those who commented, followed, and even favorite this fic! It means so much to me, so please keep it up.

Chapter Two
They Still Can't Erase You

When August '01 came Castiel started taking courses at the community college his parents went to. He was still too shy and withdrawn to attempt moving out and going to the University of North Carolina in Wilmington which was an hour and a half away, and he knew that at least he'd see people he kinda knew at the community college. Enrolling to earn an associate's degree in business seemed like the smart thing to do. In high school most of his elective courses were business related, hell he was even in the FBLA like his mom. Funny thing was he really could have given two rat's asses about business.

The courses were fairly easy; Expository Writing was his favorite, mostly because his teacher, Mr. Ludensky, was just kickass. They did a psychology walk-through test that involved all the students imagining they were walking through a forest, each choice and description telling them something they might have never known about themselves. Writing short stories was fun as well and a lot of the work was group related - that part took some getting used to. A lot of his classmates he knew from high school and that made the class even better, but his favorite part would always be Mr. Ludensky. Business Law was another course he enjoyed, it was strange to say so, but perhaps it was the law portion.

Castiel had never been in a relationship before but he had always been attracted more to males than females. Boobs didn't do much for him and when his "friends" began talking about pussy, well it just so happened he had somewhere very important to be. Lucky for him they were idiots who thought he was just embarrassed because he was a virgin. Of course he was a virgin, and if that's what kept his secret safe, well he was happy to use it.

It was during his walk around campus that he took notice of how many people were in the same cliques, the largest being the rednecks. Okay so he was born in the south, but it didn't mean he talked like he had a half of can of Grizzly stuffed in his mouth. The accent they spoke with didn't help matters either. He made a strong effort to stay away from them; he knew they were talking about him when he heard a snicker as he passed by, or a lewd gay slur coughed under their breath. He always thought he kept the fact he was gay pretty well hidden, but it would appear that rednecks had their "gaydar" upgraded on a regular basis.

It was during the month of November that things changed. His Introduction to Business class met on Tuesdays and Thursdays two hours during the evening, the only time that fit around his other courses. The class was alright, but the teacher was really intense and could have benefited from the use of some Xanax. This particular night he ended the class early, so everyone was gathering their things quickly just in the off chance he decided to change his mind. Castiel didn't care much and took his time placing his things in his backpack; he was always forgetting things and rushing only made it worse. Slinging his backpack over his shoulder he stopped short when he felt a tap on his shoulder. Choosing to ignore it he started to walk away again, only to find he felt the tap again. With a heavy sigh he squared his shoulders, making sure to let his annoyance show as he turned around. Instantly he felt fear creeping up his spine.

The man in front of him would have matched his own height, but the thick soled work boots he wore gave him a slight height advantage. He had average light brown hair that came to the nape of his neck with a slight wave at the end. The combination of light blue eyes, dimpled chin, and square jaw were attention getting. The man was slightly attractive, if not for his farmer's tan and dumpy stature. His clothes, however, were ready for a Dan Brickley makeover. A plain dark green shirt was worn under a blue and white plaid button down, left unbuttoned of course. The green shirt was tucked into a pair of washed out ill-fitted jeans that were held up with a worn out brown leather belt. A thick camo jacket was tucked under his arm; text book, notebook, and pen were resting on the desk beside him.

"Can I help you?" asked Castiel, shrugging the strap of his backpack on to his shoulder again. The guy in front of him remained silent while his eyes roamed up and down Castiel's body, the hint of a smile playing on his lips.

Upon finishing his inspection he realized that Castiel had spoken, the hint of a blush spreading across his cheeks. The blush darkened when Castiel lifted an eyebrow still waiting for a reply.

"Sorry. I – Yes – I was wondering if maybe you'd like hang out sometime. I'm pretty new here and could use someone to help show me around. That is if you aren't too busy – and I'd understand if you were." The guy stumbled over his words nervously.

Castiel smirked as the fear he had initially felt faded into a feeling of amusement. This guy was about as socially inept as he was, and that was saying a lot. "Not to say I'm not flattered but why are you asking me? Everyone on campus knows I'm the reject, the 'red headed stepchild,' the social pariah. So stop with the bullshit and tell me the truth."

"Okay, fine, you're right, I have heard those things." Castiel opened his mouth to shout out an "I knew it!" but was quickly stopped as the guy continued to talk. "I've also heard some other things that you didn't mention, but that's not the point of this. I really do wanna hang out; you'd be surprised how much we have in common."

"I told you to stop the bullshit dude, and to say that we have something in common is fucking laughable. No one has anything in common with me." He turned on his heels and stormed out of the room, rushing down the stairs and out the door of the building. He never heard the guy calling out for him to wait, but it's not as if he heard anything he had said to begin with.

December came too quickly. Castiel ignored Jeremy – he'd heard a girl call the boy that one day – as Castiel was heading to his car, but it wasn't as if he cared what his name was. Castiel ignored the feeling of someone watching him while in class. Castiel ignored the way Jeremy walked to close to him as he passed by his desk. It was at the end of the semester when Castiel stopped ignoring.

It was colder than usual the night he finally confronted Jeremy. It was in the parking lot; in front of Jeremy's white '98 Dodge Ram that Castiel pushed him hard against the grill. Castiel had control, needed control of this – but he lost control. Jeremy turned the tables on him and Castiel found he was the one pressed against the truck. It was there that anger gave way to something different. It was there that they kissed and it was there that Castiel realized that yes they did, in fact, have something in common.

They started dating during winter break. Their dates usually consisted of hanging out at the local Wal-Mart, driving down the boulevard at the beach, or going to Jeremy's place to make out. Castiel found he loved Jeremy's camo jacket, it always smelled of crisp air, burning leaves, and cinnamon (Jeremy always had Big Red in the pockets.) Castiel found he loved riding in the truck; he could live without the CB radio. Castiel also found out he had to keep his big mouth shut.

It was during one of their excursions to Wal-Mart when Castiel pointed to a movie he thought looked interesting. Jeremy bought it for him no questions asked. It continued on like that. If Castiel made any indication he liked or wanted something, Jeremy bought it. Sure he liked it to begin with, but it grew old fast.

Their relationship was okay. Not the things that sonnets were penned about, but Castiel was content. Jeremy was on cloud nine.

Castiel had a deep love for privacy and space. Jeremy did not.

They didn't have any courses together the next semester, and with Jeremy working part-time, they really didn't see each other much.

One night Jeremy pulled up to Anna's house unannounced to surprise Castiel. Castiel couldn't stop thinking about how romantic it was.

They said they loved each other.

Castiel lost his virginity after that.

Jeremy kept stopping by unannounced. He didn't even knock anymore.

Castiel was beginning to have second thoughts about their relationship.

One day in April Castiel stopped answering his phone. He locked the door when he saw Jeremy pull up in the front yard.

He ignored the knocks.

He ignored the rings of his phone.

Finally they stopped.

Castiel avoided Jeremy at school.

Castiel couldn't understand what went wrong.

It was in October '02 that he met Crowley MacLeod.

Castiel had driven to the large university town to get away for that particular day and had decided to take a walk along the downtown area. The leaves hadn't started to change yet and the air was less humid but still warm. Growing annoyed by continuously being bumped into by people, he sidestepped a bustle of people and entered a small bookstore.

The small bell above the door dinged alerting any workers there of his arrival. He began browsing the aisles of a small bookstore, running his fingers along with spines, when he walked into something. That something ended up being the chest someone. That someone ended up being the owner of the store. Apologizing profusely, Castiel backed away and into another someone. Cursing under his breath, he turned around prepared to apologize once again, but a pair of hazel eyes made his breath hitch.

Leaving the bookstore they walked around the riverfront popping into shops at random. Crowley confessed he was only in town visiting some friends for the weekend. He actually lived two hours away and only stopped by this way only on occasion.

Castiel suddenly found more shops to be interested in as well as Crowley's tattoos. He was told they were all dragons, but he was only allowed to see two of them – for now. The implication left a smile on his face, so was the one regarding Crowley's tongue ring. That one left him flushed at flabbergasted.

As the night drew closer a chill came with it and goose bumps scattered across Castiel's arms. Crowley pulled him close, rubbing his arms for warmth as they walked to the parking area. They exchanged phone numbers and Castiel placed a chaste kiss on Crowley's cheek before getting his care. Crowley kissed his lips when he rolled his window down to say goodbye.

They talked and text constantly after that. His feelings for Jeremy had never been like this before, but he still felt like something was missing. Crowley didn't spoil him the same way that Jeremy had, Crowley gave him his independence. Still there was something missing.

December brought winter break and Crowley. Anna had given the okay for him to stay at their house for a few days, as long as Crowley stayed on the couch. Both boys grumbled but agreed because there was no arguing with Anna about this. The stubborn woman.

They went back to where they first met; the book store was closed by the time they arrived because of winter hours. There was, however, a horse drawn carriage ride that was offered as a way of showing the area to tourist. The carriage was elongated to accommodate more people and blankets were provided to keep away the winter chill.

The twinkle in their eyes was all that they needed. The whole ride found them making out in the back of the carriage and when they came up for air they were surrounded by a chorus of drawn out "aww's." They both denied their flushed faces were from embarrassment; after all it was cold out.

Presents were exchanged before Crowley went home; it was too soon to be spending Christmases with each other. Castiel gave Crowley a gray fedora he'd been eyeing online; Crowley gave Castiel the DVD box set of his favorite TV show.

Castiel started making attempts to go spend weekends with Crowley. They settled on alternating so it was fair on the both of them. Crowley's parents made them sleep in separate bedrooms. That didn't stop them from making out in his bedroom while they were away.

Valentine's Day found Castiel cooking dinner. Anna had gone out for the night; Crowley was on his way to the house, hopefully with a bottle of brandy so Castiel could complete the meal.

Castiel had never made Steak Diane before, and he wasn't going to make it ever again if it didn't become easier. The steak was starting to look dry, the potatoes weren't roasting correctly, and where the hell was Crowley with that damn brandy?!

"Oh thank God you're here. Now give me that bottle!" Castiel rushed across the house as the front door opened, yanking the bottle of brandy from Crowley's hands and leaving the man stranded in the door way.

The deep rumble of laughter could be heard over the slam of the door closing. Crowley made his way into the dining room, dropping his bag in the corner so no one (Castiel) would trip over it. Making the cautious decision to hang out by the dining table, Crowley crossed his arms and watched Castiel franticly rush around the small kitchen in frenzy.

"Love, I didn't realize were having other guests over tonight," Crowley deadpanned in an attempt to get a rise out of the cook.

Castiel stopped chopping carrots in favor of looking over his shoulder at his boyfriend. The look of sheer horror on his face had Crowley laughing so hard his sides hurt. It was always so easy to freak him out. Castiel turned back to his chopping with a huff, waiting until Crowley had stopped laughing to lob the top of a carrot at him. Crowley scoffed as the carrot top fell short and landed on his shoe. He threw it in the garbage on his way into the kitchen, coming up behind Castiel when the knife was at a safe distance.

Castiel instantly relaxed, the scent of CK One comforting him almost as much as the man wearing it. The feel of soft lips on his neck, followed by the nibble of teeth, brought a soft sigh from him as he titled his head to the side.

"Lee, you know what your voice does to me… Talk to me, say anything, please?" Castiel's words came out almost as soft as a whisper, the undertone of pleading barely audible. All Crowley could do was comply.

"Well Angel, I can tell you all the things I plan on doing to you tonight or I can you tell you –" Crowley paused to take the taller man's ear lobe between his teeth, nibbling and suckling on it. He knew the effect his English accent had, and along with his manipulations, Castiel groaned and ground his ass back against him. Castiel had never made his weakness for accents a secret. He had once confessed that while jerking off he could cum just by remembering his voice. "Or I can tell you that the food is burning, pet."

He stepped back in preparation of Castiel going spastic, limbs flailing and curse words flying as he pulled the potatoes out of the oven.

They decided not to flambé the steaks that night in fear of burning down the house.

The dinner ended up not being a total lost cause. Sure the potatoes, the steak, somehow even the carrots ended up a bit overcooked, but the sauce came out perfectly. Crowley tried to coax Castiel into tasting the brandy, but he declined saying that at least one of them needed to be sober. Crowley snorted and continued to drink the amber liquid.

After everything was washed and put away, Castiel put on a CD of songs he had put together for the night. Crowley gave him a rose as they began to dance, swaying side to side. They both had two left feet and after 10 minutes of stepping on each other's toes, the two went to Castiel's room to lie down.

Love songs continued to play well after they started making out on the bed. Crowley was really getting into it when the sound of a familiar remix filled the air. With a loud groan he rolled away from Castiel, who was now laughing hysterically.

"I thought you loved Elvis, Lee. Or did I get it wrong?" Castiel couldn't stop laughing even after he got the question out.

Crowley hit him with one of Castiel's many overstuffed pillows.

That night they made love for the first time.

Neither one of them had the guts to say how either one of them felt.

In March, Castiel became depressed.

He had dislocated his ankle by jumping from the second step of the back deck; he was probably a foot and a half off the ground. He was placed on Oxicodone and had to wear a stupid looking boot to keep his ankle in place. Later that week he ended up having his wisdom teeth taken out. He was given more Oxicodone.

Everyone went about their lives, and Castiel felt abandoned. He would call Crowley crying, telling him how he couldn't take it. He wanted to stop the pain he felt. Not the physical pain, the pain killers handled that just fine. It was a pain he couldn't describe.

Crowley never said anything to Anna, but he was worried about his boyfriend.

Castiel ended up trying to overdose on his pain medication; he only fell asleep for a few hours. Even after his ankle was better he was still depressed. He was referred to a therapist and given Zoloft. It seemed to do the trick, except he constantly had to get his dose upped just to feel "fine."

In May they talked about living together. They both wanted to go the university in Wilmington and felt that living together would be the best thing to further their relationship. It was on Castiel's birthday that they finally said they loved each other.

The summer saw Castiel and Crowley each working part-time and taking summer courses. They weren't able to see each other as much, but they made it work. Castiel struggled with trying to feel happy, even though work was getting to him. He eventually walked out on his job and never looked back.

Wellbutrin was the next step in treating his depression. He had heard the warnings and informed his therapist that he had had a seizure in the past; he was told it would be fine.

October was when shit hit the proverbial fan. They were both spending the weekend with their respective families. It was a Sunday and Castiel was helping Anna with lunch, his Papa Chuck and Uncle Alfie were over as well. He had just turned away from the table, a covered dish and knives in his hands, when everything went black.

He woke up on his back afraid and was taken to the hospital immediately. He had had a Grand Mal seizure. He was taken off Wellbutrin and placed on Lamictal, which oddly enough, seemed to help improve his mood. He wasn't allowed to drive, much to his chagrin, but it was for his own safety.

In December '03, after finishing up all their exams, they moved in together. Anna was wary; they had only been dating over a year, but she knew that Castiel had to make these decisions for himself.

The apartment was everything they had dreamed of. It was on the top floor, so they were blessed with 9-foot cathedral ceilings. To the right of the entrance was a set of stairs that led up to a mezzanine that over looked the living room. A second bathroom and bedroom were down the hallway to the left. The living room was large and spacious, complete with a gas fireplace and balcony. Though the kitchen was tiny and cramped, the master bedroom more than made up for it with a walk-in closet and large garden tub in the master bath.

Both of them were set up to start courses at the local community college for spring semester before starting at the university in the summer. They loved each other and were bound and determined to make it work on their own.

Young love, huh?

Edited on October 30, 2014