Chell didn't want to do this. Chell didn't want to do this. Chell really didn't want to do this.
Breathe in. Breathe out. Breathe in. Breathe out.
"What, exactly, are you doing in there?" GLaDOS' voice echoed through the elevator, irritated. "Seeing how long you can stay in an elevator is not part of the test. Just letting you know. In case you're curious at all."
Looking down at her hands, Chell suddenly realized how hard she was gripping the railings of her last vestige before having to step in to the testing track. It took a visible effort to unclench her fingers, and she started rubbing the feeling back in to her hands as she tried desperately to calm down.
It's fine. I don't have to worry about it. It'll be fine, I'm just testing. Not trapped. Not trapped at all. Just testing. Breathe in. Breathe out.
The clean white elevator was filled with a soft static as GLaDOS sighed through the intercom system. "Chell, you... you don't have to do this."
"Yeah. I do. If it stresses me out this much, I do," Chell tried a smile, and with a deep breath, stepped off the elevator.
Once more, into the breach.
It slid quietly away, back in to the labyrinthine depths of the facility, as the test subject watched the screens plastered across the small room. Some kind of advertisement about synthetic flesh. Chell found it kinda fascinating, actually, GLaDOS was always so cagey about whatever process she used to create the stuff. Not that she needed to know, mind, but-
Heh. Totally not stalling. Don't be ridiculous.
Chell started to the door, her long fall boots softly clinking against the ground as she walked. It slid open when she met it, and after a deep breath, she stepped through. On the other side of the door was a huge, wide open white room, soft white light emanating from nothing in particular. And in the center of the room, was a button. And right beside it, was a hefty cube.
Chell blinked. "Is that... is that as simple as it looks?"
GLaDOS somehow gave the distinct impression of smiling wickedly at her human, even through a simple red camera and a tinkling laugh. "I didn't want to give you a headache, 'babe'."
"You're... you're making fun of me!" Chell glared at the camera, hoping to win back some credibility.
"You're blushing, test subject. Blushing is not part of the test."
A strange, strangled noise escaped Chell's throat, and with nothing more to say, she casually flipped her middle finger to the camera. She stomped across the test chamber, lifted up the heavy Aperture Science Super-Fancy Science Cube or whatever the hell it was called, she couldn't remember, and slammed it on the button.
"Test complete! You must be so proud," purred GLaDOS.
The door on the far end of the test chamber opened, and Chell continued on her way. In the next room, a small wooden drawer sat on the far end, which Chell slowly recognized.
"... Is that... is that my underwear drawer?"
"It's an Aperture Science Undergarment Containment Unit, if that's what's you're asking."
"... WHY?!"
"Protocol dictates I'm not allowed to explain the tests, test subject."
Chell sighed, and began to rifle through her own underwear drawer. Other than copious amounts of underwear, Chell blushed furiously as she found the small black silicon rod that the personality cores had sold her, which she kept hidden in there at all times. "Um. GLaDOS, I don't suppose you... found anything in here?"
A moment of silence.
"I don't know what you could be talking about, test subject." The android's voice was sweet like honey, and deeply mocking.
Yeah, she found my vibrator.
Finally, Chell made jackpot: The Aperture Science Handheld Portal Device, all spick and span, made of shiny white porcelain curves. Chell grabbed it up, and sighed with happiness as she experimentally fingered the triggers. Oh, I have missed this ol' girl. It's like a security blanket. Powered by a miniature black hole. You know, like all security blankets.
"... Do you two need a moment alone?"
"Oh, hush. You'll never understand our love."
The next door opened, and as Chell stepped through, she got the distinct feeling of being led around on a management rail. The new room consisted almost entirely of the same featureless walls as before, only with a thermal discouragement beam shot out of the floor, and several light nodes that required to be shot by said beam.
"Oh, come on," Chell groaned. "Where's the hard stuff?! I could solve this in my sleep."
"Hmm. You're probably right." GLaDOS mused.
And then the floor dropped away.
Chell barely had time to yelp in surprise as she was suddenly dropping fast. She spun around as she fell, looking for a wall to shoot a portal on, but the walls of this chamber were instead water, rushing down in to the darkness so far below that Chell could barely see it. Fortunately, she didn't fall that far, and instead slammed her long fall boots in to a suspended walkway. She looked around, and ducked as a discouragement beam narrowly missed her cheek. From the chamber above, the node that shot the beam had unfolded to reveal itself as a pivoting turret, similar to a rocket turret. It spun around wildly once more, from it's comfortable position far above her, and nearly bisected the confused human.
"I thought we agreed, nothing lethal!"
"It's not lethal, don't be ridiculous. The Aperture Science Thermal Discouragement Beam just burns a little, nothing serious. And there's plenty water down there if you fall, so it'll only hurt a little. Science needs a little danger, of course."
She sprinted forward, keeping her head and limbs as close to her center of mass as possible, and as she made it to the wall of water, her soaked long fall boots slipped out from under her, and she slammed her full mass in to the walkway at high speed.
"GAH! Motherfu-"
"CHELL!" GLaDOS' voice echoed through the massive chamber, strangely refracting off the water. "Are you okay?! ... Not that I care, or anything."
"Peachy." Chell gritted her teeth, pulled herself up, and continued through the water. And on the other side was an even larger waterfall chamber- with three laser turrets this time, suspended from the ceiling. They pulled themselves from their cradles, and looked at the test subject in confusion.
Chell's eyes shot across the room, rapidly assessing the situation. The walkway was no longer straight forward, zigging and zagging and twisting, arching and going up and down, and there were criminally few panels to portal-
And then the turrets fired. Chell lunged to the left and rolled, narrowly dodging two and feeling the third slice in to her arm. She turned, and sprinted up the stairs, taking the left, followed by a right, and generally buying as much time as possible until she could figure out a plan, before finding one of the few panels, suspended on a thin wire. With a smile, Chell slammed her boot in to the panel, swinging it out and almost to the water, before it swung back, and she repeated it. She shot a blue portal on it, turned to a panel angled to one of the turrets, and fired an orange one, just as the panel swung in to the waterfall. And a sprout of water traveled almost gracefully through the portal and in to the turret, short circuiting it, and cascading sparks from it's cradle. And then it exploded, tearing through the walkway.
Oh my.
With a lurch, Chell tumbled across the plummeting walkway, until she grabbed one of the wires and swung away from it, cutting up her hands in the process. Her momentum carried her forward, until she met turret number two, almost face to laser. She dropped the wire, and wrapped her arms around the turret to pull herself up. Before it could turn around to fry her point blank, she grabbed the chassis, and forced it to fire on the other remaining turret. Which also exploded, frying the rest of the poor walkway. With a shrug, Chell figured she might as well finish the job, and yanked out a few choice wires.
Chell spied the door out, on the other side of the far end of the water wall, and after swinging the broken robot a few times to get her momentum going, she let go. She managed to bounce off the remaining panels, and even swing across the huge gap with one of the stray wires suspended from the ceiling, before launching herself gracefully through the door, soaked to the skin, but grinning like mad.
The android's voice sounded shocked over the intercom. "Oh. That was... that was... oh."
"Yeah," Chell laughed to herself. "I am so hot right now."
GLaDOS fell silent for a moment, which Chell took to believe as an affirmation, before she started up again. "So, test subject, are you ready to continue testing?"
Chell rubbed her neck nonchalantly. "I guess. You know, if you want to."
Can't let her know how much fun I'm having.
And so, it began.
Test chamber after test chamber, Chell gritted her teeth and blazed through them. It settled in to a familiar rhythm, and Chell felt herself almost pleased at herself for each and every victory. I wonder, does Stockholm Syndrome apply to tests? Massive towers covered in turrets, seas of Repulsion Gel, a test chamber composed entirely out of broken glass, aerial faith plates that tossed her directly in to mashy spike plates (she was particularly proud of that one)- it just went on and on, and at the end of every one, GLaDOS would hum in appreciation and offer Chell a way out, but every single time, Chell refused. "Not until I'm done all of your tests," she would say every time.
Finally, hours later, after seeing Chell slip on a pool of Propulsion Gel, GLaDOS sighed and demanded Chell return to her quarters and rest. Which, of course, Chell completely refused. 99th percentile for tenacity, of course. The leggy android had to physically get up, get in an elevator, and pick up her tired human and force her out of the room.
"Oh- oh please!" yawned Chell, as GLaDOS pressed her in to the elevator. "I'm fine! I can do this all day!"
"You have been doing this all day," GLaDOS pointed out. "You've gone above and beyond what I asked you to do, Chell, so go sleep, you stupid human."
Chell blinked. "Did... did you just call me stupid?"
"You're trying to force yourself in to life threatening situations while you're half awake. Yes, I'm calling you stupid."
"Heh," Chell leaned against her android, a fact that the android didn't mind at all. "You just don't want to see me hurt."
"Oh, shut up. I think I preferred testing when you were mute," GLaDOS slowly, gently, began to rest her head on Chell. "... Thank you."
"Hm?" Chell was already half asleep.
"Thank you for... testing with me. I know you didn't want to, and I... appreciate it."
"... You're not used to thanking people, are you?"
"Not especially, no."
"Well, you're welcome," Chell nuzzled her android's neck. "Besides, you'll get to really thank me when we get to that favor you owe me."
"... I was hoping you had forgotten about that."
"You're not nearly that lucky."