Chapter 2! uhhh finally. i just got over my most recent obsession, which strangely enough was some girl that looked like ALPHONSE! lol next it is fairies!
Onwards...
Misery:
We woke early enough for us to get dressed and get out of there before someone caught us. the walk home was silent and the regret, building and building. i just dragged my brother into something horrible, someting that can cause him to die,be killed go to hell for gods sake. what have i done, why didn't i stop him. My body just doesnt know how to shut up and back off. I didnt want this i didnt want to drag my brother into something so horrible. He probablt hates me, just did it to make me happy. i can't stand this silence, this pain. All my feelings building and building dragging me down farther untill... i go and do something stupid like fuck my brother.
"Al" The silence was broken by Ed. "Yeah, what's up" I say shakily. he's going to tell me he hates me, he's gonna have me killed, make up some story that i killed him, oh god what will i do, what am i going to do! fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck... "Al, do you regret what we did? Do you hate me? I'm Sorry.." Shock, i was completely shocked by his words, i couldn't believe he would say that. maybe he did love me, maybe he didn't just do it for me. Still, i love him so much, and what we have done is wrong and horrible. i can't be happy like this, with him, living in fear for my life and afterlife. "Brother, i love you, but i do regret it, all of it. i don't want to live my life in fear. fearing one day ill wake up and you'll be dead or someone will kill me. i don't want to live knowing when i die, i'm going to hell. I must repent why i still can, and we must never speak of thios again. Please, please don't hate me." The words just came tumbling out of my mouth, one after the other, i couldn't stop them but either way, they were said, and i feel they too were a mistake.
Silence, it's so ugly, so dead, black emptiness filling the air between us. Brother hated me, thats why he won't reply to me. thats why he's angry and thats why we will never have a happy ending. "Brother, Nisan, i'm sorry." I plead to him, waiting and praying for some response that'll let me know he's not angry, or hate me. Silence, dead silence, i hate it, please Ed speak to me. say anything to help me.
"Al, I'm telling Roy what we've done. He deserves to know." Those three words, those horrible horrible words, he can't be serious, he has to be lieing, why would he tell Roy, how dare he, what right did he have to hurt me and possible sentence us both to death? "Ed! Your just saying htat because your fucking him." My fear, my one fear and hatred towards Roy was just let out in front of my brother. I always hated Roy because i feared he was with my brother in a way i would never be aloud, i kept it to myself but now Ed knows. He's gonna hate me even more now. "I, Ed, I, I'm sorry, i didnt mean it like that." Ed turned on me yelling a punched me right in the stomach. "Then why the hell did you say it. he's like a goddamn father! i wouldn't fuck my father!" That angered me, he must of only fucked me because he felt sorry for me. "No, But you'de fuck your own brother!" I got up and ran home, ran upstairs past Roy and into my room, i stayed there all night.
The next Morning was horrible, and the next few days was worst, i'de pass Ed in the hall and look away or leave in the other direction, at dinner he would glare at me from across the table and he wouldn't never speak, not one of us. Roy eventually questioned us and Ed simply said "I'll tell ya later." Hopefully just to piss me off. Before i knew it, before anyone knew it, it was time for the Hunger Games.
The morning went by in silence, like the past weeks, although it was filled with more sorrow than usual. It'll be my first time going out for the hunger games,not like i have a choice. Brother, Ed, it'll be his seccond time, i have a bad feeling about this day. I feel like it's going to be the last entry in this book. What will happen, now?
I walk donwstairs scared, worried. What if brother is picked, the last thing i said to him. How can i leave things like this, in a time like this. I pass brother in the hall, he puts his arm around me a pulls me close. "I told Roy. He's not mad, he thought it was cute." I pushed him away, sonmehow i was even more angry then i had every been. how dare he invade my privacy like that, tell him, that man! "Brother, i can't belive you would ivade my privacy like that, tell him such a thing. that was suppose to be personal just between the two of us! Brother, Ed, I hope you get picked and Die!" I yell as loud as i could, i was so angry, i hated him and i reaelly meant it. I stormed downstairs and out the door.
Everyone was in tuxes and dresses, the sight was horrible. Everything, everyone so sad. When they pricked my finger it hurt, fear was building and the feeling from earlier creeped back up. Standing their, in perfect lines, listening to that women her words, teariffying. i looked everywhere trying to find brother. The women spoke the worst sentence ever. "May the odds be ever in your favor." she called out a girls name, Abby Jenson. She was small 12 year old, poor girl, she would be one of the ones to die first. Next was the men. It was silent for a long time, it seemed to take hours, digging through those names, picking out the right one. Then it happened, the fear that i have felt, that eery unsettling feeling. "Edward Elric." There was gasps and cries, brother was very popular, so of course people were hurt bad by this. No matter how bad anybody thought htey felt for Ed, nobody, not one felt as bad as i did. I watched Ed walk to the center to go up, and something inside be broke. I ran through the crowd and out into the center, i grabbed Ed and screamed as loud as i could. "YOUR NOT TAKING HIM!" There was so much strain in my voice, i sounded crazy. Men surrounded me and try to pull me off, that when i did the unthinkable. "I VOLOUNTEER!" Ed staired at me and simply said "no. you. dont." I looked at the women dressed in vibrant colours and said again "I volounteer!" She looked out in the crowd and said "It appears we have a volounteer. come forward child. 14, thats how old i will be when i die, in the next few weeks, most likely days, i'll be dead. My only thoguhts were at least Eds alive.
"Boy, what is your name?" The vibrant lady asked. My words shaky and flled with uinspeakable fear. "Al, Alphonse Elric." The vibrant lady frowned. "Then i supose that young man is your younger Brother?" I shook my head. "Older, He's my Older brother." She smiled and said "very well, we have our contestants, Abby Jenson and Alphonse Elric. Good luck and may the odds be ever inyour favor." With that she took us away to a building and in individual rooms. I looked back once and saw brother had left. He must hate me even more than i thought.
Chapter three coming soon