Note: I was doing some reading the other day and found something by this 16th century humanist that really speaks to whats happening here:
'Jupiter has bestowed far more passion than reason - you could calculate the ratio as 24 to one...Reason does the only thing she can and shouts herself hoarse, repeating the formulas of virtue while the other two bid her to go hang herself, and are increasingly noisy and offensive, until at last their Ruler is exhausted, gives up and surrenders.'
And I don't own anything.
…...
Elsa backed up against the wall, horrified at the state of her little sister. She wanted to run away, wanted to call the guards but she couldn't. The instinct to protect was too engrained, even now as Anna trudged towards her, teeth gritted like an animal, reeking of booze and blood.
It was beginning to snow.
"Anna , I'll get you help." She was pleading with her. "I'll get you someone to talk to - a therapist or something. Just put down the axe."
Anna's expression seemed to soften at that. "You need help, I need help – I know, I know." said her third person. "It's not your fault, you don't deserve this and I won't be angry forever, no, no not at all." The third person paused and Anna erupted. "BUT RIGHT NOW – I'll bash your head in with a candle holder, I'll break your ribs with a hammer, I'll dig your brain out through your eye, fuck fuckity fucking hell!"
A cold wind blew across the room, sweeping up snow and ice fragments like some feeble defense. Ice was creeping up to cover the ceiling.
"I - I never wanted to hurt you," said Elsa, her voice rising in panic. She kept her hands clenched at her sides. "You were supposed to be safe."
"Safe?!" Anna strode up to her sister in a rage. Now more than ever, she felt like she could do it. But you shouldn't! Exclaimed the Third Person. It's not right, she's just a poor girl - "Shut up! Is that why you told me to leave? To keep me safe and let me lead my life? Oh well that's a brilliant idea, why the fuck didn't I think of that?"
"Anna I –"
"It's because I couldn't abandon you! I felt so, so sorry for you, it was exhausting and pointless and it tore me up, but now!" she gripped her axe with both hands. "Now I have no more room to give a damn! So fuck you and fuck this godamn shit!" She raised the axe above her head and brought it straight down with all her strength as Elsa screamed and instinctively brought her arms up to protect herself, bringing a wall of ice up from the floor, a moment too late. Anna was thrown back and sent into a bout of dizziness. She shook her head and got up to observe, her heart pounding. The alcohol was beginning to wear off and she was feeling nauseas.
The handle of the axe was embedded in a thick sheet of ice with the entire blade sticking out at the other side. It had been stuck in the motion of striking and for a moment, Anna wasn't even sure if it met its mark until she heard a cry of pain and shock. The Third Person was in the background, yelling and scolding incoherently as Anna stepped to the side to survey the damage.
Look at what you did! It screamed at her. What are you going to do with this, what is wrong with you, you psychopathic monster-you're the monster-monster-monster -
"Shut up!" Anna snapped. "Will you shut up for once and let me think?" her head was beginning to clear and her vision grew sharper. Elsa had crumpled to the ground, knees drawn up around her arm that had a wide, nasty looking gash with fragments of bone visible through the profuse bleeding. So how do you feel about that? Anna stepped closer, head cocked to the side in thought. There was a swelling of sadistic satisfaction while on a parallel plane; the sight was pitiful. Her sister looked down right terrified, shuddering in shock as blood soaked through her clothing, her face growing paler and paler. She was staring at Anna, wide-eyed, unable to speak through the pain and fear and the guilt of causing such insanity.
You know she's seen you talking to me, said the Third Person in response. You look insane and to top it off, you're missing a finger.
"Do you not think I've noticed that?" said Anna to the ceiling.
"Who…. who are you talking to?" asked Elsa, her voice shaking and barely audible as she shrunk further into the wall.
"It's…I don't even know."
There was a moment of silence and they could hear birds outside as the day was beginning.
I've done my bit, Anna realized as she observed the results of her drunken escapade. The torrent of emotion that had been let loose due to Elsa's reveal was beginning to dry up, as well the resulting impulsive sadism. All that was left to do was for the Third Person to sink and meld back into its place in her mind. She could feel it clawing at her ears, crawling through the funnels as she felt blood drying on her arm, and the sting of her severed finger. It had entered her brain at the auditory cortex and was working it's way up, taking back its roots so that she felt her stomach drop at the sight of her sister's wounds. The sun was coming up, causing the ice to shine, illuminating the bloody axe, the white bits of bone sticking out of her sister's arm, and how deathly pale she was. How she was shaking.
There was a moment of clarity where Anna was completely in the clear, looking as if for the first time at the scene. A wave of terror crashed down on her and she opened her mouth to scream when -
"This obviously didn't help with your agoraphobia." She interrupted herself in a calm voice. Anna knelt down beside her sister, incredulous, horrified, and homicidally furious. Elsa shrunk back, whimpering.
"Please…. don't…."
"We're done, it's alright."
"…. Why did… why did you do this?"
I have no idea why! I could never have done this, god I'm so sorry -
"Why?" That was a good question. Anna thought in silence while the sadist evaporated from the fringes of her mind like thawed ice and the Third Person settled completely at the seat of the frontal lobes, causing an instant of pressure behind her eyes. She had to think for what seemed like a good while then replied. "It's…. well I suppose it's because I love you."
Elsa managed a look of confusion. "Wha…..?"
"It's difficult to explain. We probably don't have time right now anyway." The Third Person in Anna's mind waved their four fingers. "I'm going to get us a nurse. I shouldn't have done this; I don't know what they were thinking. But we'll fix this. I promise you that."
With that she got up and walked wordlessly out the door while Elsa sank into unconsciousness.
I bet she's the one who did this to you.
Anna said nothing. She was sitting in the waiting room of the infirmary, her finger sewn up and bandaged. She stared at the floor, pretending she didn't hear anything. She may not have heard anything, maybe she was just thinking it.
…..a type of radiation that's seeped into your 'head…..
There was a draft where she was sitting, coming from an open window down the hall that lead to the hospital area. The cold air was whistling into her ear, distorting itself into a genderless hiss.
…seeped into your 'head –
"Shhhh." said Anna, her heart beating up her throat.
Through the locked door, through the floor, through the ceiling into your head that fucking bitch…it was singing.
Don't be ridiculous!
Anna's eyes widened. She recognized this one from earlier, the one that kept yelling at her when she was attacking her sister. It had an accent, she noticed. It was difficult to place but it sounded from somewhere in the west, the way it didn't annunciate the T in don't. Good god, she never should gotten drunk.
You're idiots, the both of you.
"You're the sister aren't you?"
Anna jumped at the clarity of this new voice until she saw it was the nurse from earlier.
"Yes!" she stood up anxiously. "Yes, that's me. Is she alright?"
The nurse looked surprised at her concern. "She'll be fine. She's had a bit of a shock, a bit of blood loss but it's nothing she won't recover from." She eyed Anna warily. "The Queen says that it's you who attacked her."
Anna had tried to prepare herself for this but between the arguing in her head and the inexplicableness of what she had done, all she could manage was a helpless shrug. "I…it didn't feel like me" she tried to explain. "I mean now, I would never dream of –"
Should have strangled the bitch –
Go drown some cats till you've calmed down.
" – oh Christ. No. No I would never do that"
There was a pause where they just stared at one another, unsure of each other's state. Anna could imagine the contrast she was displaying; from homicidal maniac to charismatic smooth talker to her old self. Was she going to be arrested? Would Elsa arrest her?
"I've been instructed to give you this address." said the nurse, handing Anna a card. "It's a discreet office in town. You've been ordered to attend four sessions this month to determine your mental state."
"Oh okay." The card was made of a thick, glossy paper with raised lettering that read: Dr. Brain Taylor: Clinical Psychologist. And an American, that's rare. "Say, you should get Elsa to see this guy. Agoraphobic nervous wreck that she is." Anna blinked. Again, that feeling of words leaving her mouth without her putting them there.
The nurse nodded and went away, somewhat in a hurry. Anna breathed a sigh of relief that hadn't started another cursing stream. And that she hadn't killed the nurse.
…
