Warning: Major Aeris bashing
Aeris Got Run Over By Chocobos
(in tune of "Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer")
Aeris got run over by chocobos
Walking home from the bar Christmas Eve.
You can say there's no more Shinra members,
But us AVALANCHE members, we believe.
She'd been drinking too much egg nog
And we told her not to go
'Cuz she left her medication
And she stumbled out the door into the snow.
When they found her Christmas morning
At the scene of the attack
There were bird prints on her forehead
And the same chocobo marks on her back.
Aeris got run over by chocobos
Walking home from the bar Christmas Eve.
You can say there's no more Shinra members
But us AVALANCHE members, we believe.
Now we're all so proud of Cloud Strife,
He's been taking this so well.
See him outside driving Fenrir
Then coming back and playing with the children.
Christmas is great without Aeris,
All of us are having fun.
And we just can't help but wonder:
Should we pretend to be sad or should we care?
Aeris got run over by chocobos
Walking home from the bar Christmas Eve.
You say there's no more Shinra members
But us AVALANCHE members, we believe.
Now the ham is on the table
And the pudding's real fluffy.
And a blue and silver candle
That lights up the dining room of Tifa's bar.
We've told all our friends and neighbors
"You had better start to cheer."
Shinra took his sweet ass time
To kill Aeris but thankfully now she's gone.
Aeris got run over by chocobos
Walking home from the bar Christmas Eve.
You say there's no more Shinra members
But us AVALANCHE members, we believe.