Chapter II

"Do…what?" I asked, staring at him, my Victoria's Secret bag hanging loosely in my hand.

"Don't drop that," Jakotsu said offhand, gesturing to the bag. "C'mon. I'll tell you in the car."

"No, you're going to tell me now," I replied, not in the mood to play 'let's all humor Jakotsu and his little games'.

He stared at me as if I had a third arm growing out of my head. Sighing deeply, like the tortured soul he sometimes fantasized he was, Jakotsu grabbed me by the wrist and half walked, half dragged me to his silver BMW convertible.

I was on the verge of screaming 'rape' when he looked back at me and stopped, an amused-slash-annoyed look on his face.

"Oh, yeah, like that's going to work," he said, smirking.

"What?" I asked innocently. I was frowning on the inside, though—the boy knew me entirely too well.

"You had that 'I'm going to fucking scream rape' look on your face. You do that a lot. It's annoying." He looked around the parking lot, tapping his lips thoughtfully.

"Besides, no one here would think me capable of raping you, no matter how hot and sexy you are."

"And why not?" I snapped, trying my hardest to sound affronted.

"Kags, I could tattoo 'FAGGOT' on my forehead and everyone would say 'well, yeah, we knew that already'. Seriously. Accusing me of raping you would be like accusing Carson from 'Queer Eye' of the same deed."

I bit my lip and stopped glaring at him.

"Okay. Fine, you win," I sighed. "But could you let go of me? For a gay guy you sure are strong."

"Now, what is that supposed to mean?" he asked, his eyes twinkling a little as he unlocked the car.

"Oh, nothing." I slid into the front seat with my purse and shopping bag in my lap, hands folded demurely on my knees. "Now. Tell me what the hell you're talking about."

"What, what I'm talking about?" he replied innocently, starting the car and slipping on a pair of crystal-encrusted aviator sunglasses.

"'Snow White', which, now that you mention it, is my least favorite Disney movie."

"What's your favorite?"

"'Beauty and the Beast', but that's beside the point."

"You're such a hopeless romantic."

"I am not!" I screeched, gripping the 'oh shit' handle as he sent the car flying out of the parking lot and onto the highway. "That's just evidence that I fall for—"

"Big, beastly, hairy men. Yes, we know, we did watch you date—what was his name, Hobo?—for an eternity."

"'We'? You gotta monkey in your pocket? Besides, his name was Hojo, not Hobo, and I only dated him for five months."

"Like I said, an eternity, with that oaf. And no," he added, waggling a finger in my face. "I don't like monkeys, unlike someone I know, who has dated three—three!—testosterone enhanced gentlemen in as many years."

"You're changing the subject. I don't want to talk about my past dating mistakes, I want to talk about what the fuck you meant by, and I quote, 'Kagome, how would you like to play Snow White?'"

Jaks heaved a deep sigh again. I was starting to think he had developed an upper respiratory problem—maybe it was all those cancer sticks he sucked down.

"Okay. Here's the deal, and promise me you'll keep an open mind." He held out his pinky finger.

"You're shitting me."

"I shit you not. Promise." He shot me a meaningful look over his glasses. I hooked his pinky with my own.

"Fine. I promise."

"So Banky Bear and I are…unsatisfied with our current living situation. You've seen where we live. It's tiny and dinky and impossible to work with. I tried feng shui last month and ended up having to put the bed on top of the coffee table." Jakotsu clicked his tongue in annoyance; whether it was at his failed decoration attempt or the massive traffic jam looming in the distance, I wasn't sure.

"Did it stay there long?" I asked, stifling a laugh as I imagined Tyler and Marc's huge bed swaying precariously atop their tiny, mod coffee table.

"No," he replied with a tragic sigh. "Bankotsu came home just as I had it balanced and made me take it down. He said it would make certain…bedroom activities…difficult."

"No elaboration, please," I groaned, taking in the smile that was slowly making its way across his face. Jakotsu shook himself and looked over at me sheepishly.

"Sorry."

"Anyway…" I said, making the 'get on with it' gesture with my hands.

"Right. The house. So we've been looking around for a house for a few months, and—"

"A house?" I squealed. "Like, with a garden and a white picket fence and a Labrador and two kids in the front yard?"

"Yeah, like that, except we're gay…"

"Oh, yeah. Right."

"…So Bank was looking in the ads at work today—about an hour ago, actually—and saw that the White Mansion is back up for rent."

"The White Mansion?" I repeated softly.

The White Mansion was sort of a legend in Austin. It had belonged to an old Texas oil family in the early 1900s and was a historic landmark until the city declared it unsafe for tourists. We'd all heard rumors that someone had bought it, fixed it up, and moved in, but no one had confirmed it.

I'd never seen it, but apparently it was absolutely massive.

"Yeah. The guy who bought it a few years back spent some money fixing it but didn't fix it up all the way because it would have cost something like two million dollars to repair everything. Apparently he just fixed it up enough for it to pass inspection and the put it up for rent."

"Sixteen hundred dollars a month."

"Exactly." We were suddenly stuck in a traffic jam, which happens far too often to merit annoyance in Austin. Jakotsu leaned forward and propped his chin on the steering wheel. I pulled off my seatbelt, turned sideways in the seat, and sat cross-legged to face him.

"Snow White," I prompted.

"Huh?"

"Snow…fucking…White." Seriously, you'd think he was smoking meth, he was so easily distracted.

"Oh, yeah, well, so my fabbity-fab-fab boyfriend being the—"

"Fab?"

"Yes—person he is, he thought that, since that house is so fucking huge, we could just get a bunch of roommates to move in and live with us."

"Okay…" I said, still not sure where I and a Disney character computed into this.

"Well, Marc found five guys who meet our rather rigorous standard…you know, no homophobic, mean, unemployed, unnecessarily sloppy, ugly people, and—"

"No ugly people? That's rather discriminating."

"Yeah, well, I can't be seen around ugly people. It's bad for my rep." Jakotsu lifted his head and looked down his nose at me.

"Pompous fag."

"And proud." He inched the car forward, and, realizing we weren't going anywhere anytime soon, pushed the button that opened the top of the car.

It was a cool day, not uncomfortable, but enough so that I was glad for my jeans and light jacket. I rolled down my window and leaned back, resting my head on the door.

The sky was clear and blue, with only a few puffy cotton ball clouds resting in it, as if suspended by wires. I sighed in contentment; the broiling heat of a Texas summer was over and finally giving way to the cool calm that was autumn.

"So, basically…we have seven guys who are looking for a new place to live—fairly cheap, too, if you split four thousand seven ways." Tyler reached into his pocket, fished out a cigarette, and lit it with a cool, practiced motion.

"A little less than six hundred bucks. Not bad."

"Yeah, but we want to make it an even five hundred per person a month," he said, blowing smoke out in a slow stream.

"So find another person," I replied, shrugging. I sat up suddenly in my seat, narrowing my eyes at him. I was starting to suspect where 'Snow White' had come from.

"And that, babe, is where you come in."

I stared at him in disbelief. "You are smoking meth."

"What?" He looked at me as if I had accused him of shopping at Wal-Mart—something Jaks wouldn't be caught dead doing.

"Never mind. Internal monologue; just ignore me, I'm mildly insane," I muttered. Jakotsu's eyes widened and his eyebrows threatened to touch his hairline.

"So, yeah, anyway…" He flicked his cigarette out of the car. "Since you meet four of the five standards to which Marc and I held our applicants—"

"Four? Which standard don't I meet?"

"Well, you are pretty mean."

"Only to—"

"Everyone."

"Okay, fine. Since I meet four of the five standards…"

"We want you to be the eighth roommate. The token girl in our own 'Real World With Too Many People'. The Snow White for all us dwarves."

I just looked at him. "Are you out of your fucking mind?"

"Of course not. You have a job, you'd get along great with everyone in the house, you have furniture, for God's sake..."

"You really are out of your fucking mind!"

"Oh, stop it. Think about it, Kagome. Moving into a massive—"

"Dilapidated."

"—house with rent you can definitely pay, getting to leave behind your stupid roommate—"

"Hey!"

"—and her asshole boyfriend who isn't even that cute if you ask me—"

"True." Well, I had to agree with that. Sesshomaru's too cold hearted to be cute.

"—and you get to move in with seven great—"

"Probably revoltingly sloppy, loud, and macho."

"—roommates, all of whom are fantastically good-looking," he finished grandly, sweeping his arms grandly to indicate the degree to which they were all apparently 'good-looking'.

"That's a matter of opinion," I scoffed.

"That hurts me, Kagome."

"Shut up. You are completely aware that I'd have your babies in a heartbeat if you weren't gay, and you know how picky I am about genetics."

"Good point." He growled a little under his breath and pulled across two lanes of slow-as-molasses traffic to exit. "Fuck this."

"Are you trying to kill us?" I shrieked, gripping my seat and rubbing my head where it had hit on the dashboard. I turned so that I was facing forward again and slipped on my seatbelt.

"No…" he replied, looking at me oddly. I returned the look.

"So are you in or not?" Jakotsu asked, pulling off his drag-queen sunglasses to eye me piercingly.

"Look at the road."

"Answer the question, sweetheart. I'm sure there are some strippers from All American Beef who need a room." He smiled wickedly at the thought.

"Monogamous relationship," I intoned. Jaks frowned and then nodded as if to say 'okay, fine'.

I glanced over at him, biting my lip. We were nearly to my apartment, and I knew that he'd want an answer soon.

"Fuck…" I muttered under my breath. Jakotsu raised his eyebrows; a gesture I knew was directed at me even though he wasn't looking at me.

Declining to list all the pros and cons, as my naturally obsessive nature usually demanded, I instead made a spur-of-the-moment decision that I hoped I wouldn't regret.

"Yeah."

"Yeah, what?" Jakotsu asked, pulling into the parking lot of my apartment complex. I could tell from the gleam in his eyes that he knew exactly what I was talking about, the Commie.

"Yeah, I'm in." I smiled tentatively.

"Hallelujah, she's seen the light!" He shot forward and enveloped me in a crushing hug. I smelled something that smelled suspiciously like Burberry London on his shirt.

"Yeah, yeah. Lemme go." I wriggled out of his grasp, grabbed my purse and bag, and darted out of the car.

"Meet us at the White Mansion at seven p.m. tomorrow!" he called after me. "We're meeting with the real estate person; Bankotsu says that we can move in right after we make the first down payment."

The next day was Saturday—I had the day off from work, so I spent it packing. By the time six p.m. rolled around, all of my box-able belongings were stashed away in the back of my Bronco. The apartment looked strangely empty, I noted as I looked around.

I was sitting on my couch, staring off into space, when the door banged open, announcing the arrival of the SheMan himself.

Sorry. Sesshomaru. Whatever.

Sesshomaru walked from the front door to the kitchen, and without even looking my way, said "Hey, babe."

"Take a walk on the wild side?" I asked, giving him a snide smile.

"Oh. It's you," he replied, sneering a little as he poked around in the fridge.

"Nice to see you, too."

"Do y'all have any alcohol?" Sesshomaru asked, opening every drawer in the refrigerator as if he was going through severe wood-piss (beer) withdrawals.

Which he probably was, come to think of it. I'd never seen anyone drink more liqueur than Rin's boyfriend.

"No, we don't," I replied, trying my hardest to sound condescending. It worked; he looked up at me and glared. "Neither of us is old enough to buy alcohol."

"You sure can drink it, though," he muttered, settling for a root beer instead. He cracked it open and sat at the kitchen table.

"I've been known to indulge in the occasional mixed drink," I acquiesced, shrugging a little. "But, alas, I'm still forced to rely upon the good graces of my older friends to obtain said alcohol."

Sesshomaru just stared coldly me.

"Yeah, yeah, just say it."

"You're fucking weird," he said, reaching for the drink.

"No, just an English major."

"Like I said…weird."

I rolled my eyes. I'm weird? This was coming from a guy who refuses to eat cooked meat and spends most of his time reveling in the fact that he's a complete waste of oxygen.

"So when are you moving out?" he asked, polite as ever.

"Tomorrow, hopefully." I made my way into the kitchen and pulled a apple out of the fridge.

"You found a place that soon?" Sesshomaru looked surprised, although, with him it's hard to tell. His faced rarely ever showed any emotion. My theory is collagen injections.

"Yeah. Cheap, too—five hundred a month."

"Just you, or with a roommate?"

"Roommates," I corrected, reaching over and snatching the root beer out of his grip.

"Hey!"

"Still my apartment, still my soda."

"You're grade 'A' Bitch."

"And proud," I replied, thinking of Jakotsu.

"Having fun, you two?" Rin trilled, walking into the apartment.

"Of course," he said dryly.

"A party and a half," I added.

"Good!" She smiled. "You know, maybe you won't need to—"

"Nope, sorry," I cut her off, trying not to vomit at what I knew she was about to suggest. Being around Sesshomaru made me realize why I definitely had to move out. He made me into more of an angry person than I already was.

"She already found a place," he supplied. I glanced over at him; he already had that look in his eyes—I think he was even starting to drool a little.

"Yeah, and I gotta go check it out before I sign the lease…so I'll leave you two to it."

"To what?" Sesshomaru asked almost innocently. Rin giggled. Shooting them a withering look, I grabbed my purse and darted out the door.

Mating habits. Nasty.

The traffic was disgusting, as usual, but I knew my way around the back roads well enough to get to the White Mansion without having to wait in the horrendous congestion that was Austin at six-thirty at night.

We lived on Lavaca Street, and the White place was over by Highland Mall, so it was a bit of a drive without the use of the highway, but tolerable.

I rolled the windows down and hung my arm out the window—a horrible habit; one of my arms was always darker than the other. I made it to the White Mansion at exactly seven, and was apparently the last to arrive.

Seven cars were parked in the parking court—Jakotsu's Beamer, an SUV with the realtor's name one it, a red Mustang, a green Montero, a black Corvette, a blue Acura, and what looked to my inexperienced eye to be a Harley motorcycle.

I parked next to Jak's car and took a moment to look around before entering the house.

The driveway was long and rugged—it looked as if it had once been paved, but years of plant growth and weather damage had reduced it to a potholed, partially paved, grass-spotted mess. The drive led up to a huge parking court, clearly intended to hold at least ten cars.

It was in about the same shape as the driveway. The house itself was a Southern plantation-style house, red brick with white trim and massive white columns supporting a wraparound porch.

From far away it didn't look so bad, but close up I could see the columns were chipped and ragged from the rain over the years, the brick stained and faded to a dull pink. The wooden boards of the porch creaked ominously beneath my weight, and sounded oddly hollow as I walked softly across them.

I pushed open the huge front door—making a mental note to buy WD-40 as I did so—and stepped into the house.

I expected the inside of the White Mansion to be covered with cobwebs and dust, dark in a sort of creepy way. It wasn't—who ever the real estate people hired to do the cleaning had done a good job.

The floors didn't gleam with polish, but they were at least devoid of dirt. The walls were all plain white, I noticed, not newly painted, not yellowing. It was pleasant in an old, down-home way; it needed work, we'd be able to handle it, especially with Jakotsu's talent for decorating.

I walked slowly from room to room, looking for any sign of the touring group. Standing in what appeared to be the library—built-in bookcases were a dead giveaway—fantasizing about the books I could buy to fill it, I was startled by the sudden sound of a woman clearing her voice behind me.

I whipped around and found myself face to face with a middle-aged blonde woman, a few inches shorter than me even in heels, glaring at me with heavily made up eyes. I could see seven male-shaped entities standing behind her, all with their backs to us as they inspected the hall outside.

"Can I help you?" the woman—realtor, I processed—asked with polite iciness.

"I, uh…" Damn it, I thought to myself. Stop acting so guilty!

"This is a private tour. I'm afraid you'll have to leave." She gestured to a side door with a red claw.

Jakotsu turned around and dashed forward, touching the woman delicately on her shoulder.

"Oh, no, darling," he said, smiling his most charming smile. "She's the eighth member of the house."

The other six guys turned around, looking at me curiously. Bankotsu waved and smiled; I returned his greeting weakly.

"Oh!" the realtor exclaimed. "When you said there would be one more, I naturally assumed…I mean, really…do you really want to move in with these…gentlemen?" she finally blurted, giving me a 'you slut' look.

I opened my mouth to snap back at her when Jakotsu interjected smoothly, as he was inclined to do.

"Ma'am, there's nothing to worry about here. She belongs to a particularly strict sect of Catholicism that forbids her from premarital sex—if she violates it, she has to have her fallopian tubes removed."

What…the…fuck?

Where does he come up with this?

The woman—and, in fact, everyone else in the room aside from myself and Jak—appeared to believe him. She shot me one final strange look and then waved her hand resigndedly.

"Well, you've missed the tour—just so you know, promptness is a cardinal value." With that sage statement, she turned on one pointy heel and led the way out of the room. I fell into step with Jakotsu and glared at him.

"'Strict sect of Catholicism'? 'Fallopian tubes'?" I hissed.

"And what did she mean by accusing me of not being prompt? I'm the most prompt person on the planet!"

I could kick her ass in a promptness contest. Bitch doesn't know who she's messin' with.

"She changed the tour time to six thirty and I forgot to tell you."

"And the fallopian tubes?"

It was all I could think of at the time. So sue me," he said with a shrug. "It got you out of the 'whore' look, did it not?"

"I could have gotten out of that myself, thank you."

I'd rather be a whore than a nun, anyway. Bitch.

"Shut your trap. You know you love me."

"I could back out of this right now, you know."

Jakotsu stopped dead in his tracks, effectively blocking the progress of everyone behind him.

"You wouldn't dare," he whispered, looking horrified, eyes bigger than tea saucers. I rolled my eyes.

"You're right. This place is too cool." Jakotsu grinned and hooked one arm over my shoulders.

"Bank, isn't she just the cutest thing in the world?"

"Adorable," Bankotsu agreed absentmindedly, his gaze fixed on a room we were passing.

"Yes, yes, okay, you can use that for your office," Jakotau sighed, grabbing Bakotsu's hand. "But only if we can use the desk to—"

"Shut up, don't wanna hear it," I cried, putting my hands over my ears. Jak giggled.

We reached the kitchen, where the realtor stood, poised with a pen, paper, and envelope at the island. I looked questioningly at Jakotsu and he mouthed 'lease' and then pointed. I rolled my eyes, which is Kagome-speak for 'oh, okay'.

"I just need all…eight…of you to sign on these lines. You'll see that there are only four lines on which to sign; we usually don't have more than that, but this is a special circumstance. Just sign beneath the lines. First month's rent is due up front—I'm sure you're all aware of that?"

As if controlled by machine, all the men in the room reached into their back pockets and produced wallets. Feeling a little out of place, I pulled my checkbook out of my purse and slipped out the bills I'd retrieved from the ATM earlier that day.

The realtor looked around the room, taking in the small piles of cash we each held. Satisfied, she handed the pen to the guy standing closest to her.

"Mikroku Houshi," Jankotsu murmured in my ear. I nodded. The name was vaguely familiar; Miroku was a notorious campus partier, even at this school, which was full of partiers. He looked distinctly hung-over, but was still cute.

His jet-black hair was tossed into a careless ponytail and his otherwise gorgeous violet eyes were hazy. He scrawled his name and handed the pen to Bankotsu, who was behind him.

Bankotsu signed his name and handed the pen to Jakotsu, who had a more feminine signature than I did, with all sorts of flourishes and swirls. I half expected him to dot the 'i' in his last name with a heart.

I signed next and handed the pen to the guy behind me.

"Shippo Kitsu," Jakotsu supplied. Shippo shyly grinned at me; we knew each other from freshman English Comp. He was an adorable guy who found it more entertaining to read Spiderman comics then analyze the works of Shakespeare…can't blame him, really.

Shaggy amber hair, sea foam green eyes, he was cute. A little on the shy side though.

"Naraku Onegia," Jakotsu introduced the next guy, who stepped forward, signed, and handed off the pen in an alarmingly hostile manner.

He was tall, with wavy black hair, and crimson eyes that were surprisingly angry. His skin was so tan it was almost golden—a natural tan, I figured, since he was a business major and an infamously rabid studier.

I knew the next guy—Kohaku Hiro, a friend of a friend from my hometown. He was cute, with warm brown eyes framed by dark hair that he kept cut close to his head. He smiled shyly at me as he slipped past to sign.

The last guy was the only one I didn't have at least a cursory familiarity. Even Jakotsu had to look at Bankotsu questioningly, who muttered "Inuyasha Takahashi" at our inquisitive looks.

Jakotsu made a 'oh, yeah' face, but the name didn't register with me at all. He looked to be about Bankotsu's age, and moved with a quiet confidence that comes naturally to men as tall as he was—I'd guess six-three or six-four, with a lean, fit body to back it up.

His hair was black and a little shaggy, as if he'd once had it cut short but either forgot to maintain the haircut or didn't care.

What I noticed most about him, though, and the reason why I couldn't stop staring at him were his eyes. They were dark gold and deep set, hidden by a lazy gaze—he looked at his surroundings with a palatable boredom—but were also markedly intelligent and glinted with some sort of hidden amusement.

He had an aristocratic look to him—aquiline nose, pronounced cheekbones, a low, curved brow—that made him enigmatic and handsome all at the same time.

Translation: damn, the man was fiiiiiiine.

And I never, ever use the word fine to describe a person, Ever.

Food, maybe. A dress, sure. More often, though, I'll use 'fine' as a retort to the question 'how are you?', and even then it's said in a sarcastic manner.

Ahem. Anyway.

"Well, that should be about it," the realtor said cheerfully, smiling a smile that touched the edges of her peroxide torched, Texas-teased hair. She walked past each of us to collect the money, took a moment to count it all and stuff it into her little envelope, and then exited quickly, shouting, "Good luck! The keys are in the front office" over her shoulder.

I looked around, shrugged at Jakotsu, and jumped up to sit on the countertop.

"So…" I said, biting my lip and trying to look cheerful and inviting.

Come on, someone say something!

"You won't really have to rip out your own fallopian tubes, will you?" Shippo asked, looking at me as if he wasn't quite sure what to say to someone who did, in fact, have fallopian tubes.

His voice was low and gravelly and slow, as if someone had turned a dial on the side of his head and adjusted the speed of his speech.

"No," I replied, rolling my eyes.

"I didn't say that she would have to remove her own fallopian tubes; I said she'd have to get them removed," Jakotsu said.

"That'd be physically impossible, anyway," Inuyasha added, not looking up from the cabinet he was inspecting.

"Would not," Shippo retorted, sounding confident.

What, did he actually consider the implications of me removing my own reproductive organs?

"I'd listen to him, dude," Miroku piped up.

I'd thought he was hung-over.

I was wrong—he was most assuredly still drunk. "He's pre-med."

I looked at Jakotsu who shrugged theatrically. Heaving a sigh, I slipped off of the counter and walked toward the front of the house, where I assumed the 'front' office would be.

Of course, the house had about seventy-five million rooms, so I was sort of flying by the seat of my ass. I half expected the guys to follow me, but when I turned around they were still standing in the kitchen, presumably arguing over fallopian tubes—or, if I was lucky, maybe they'd moved onto ovaries.

The keys were, in fact, in a side office. Lying whore, I thought, but then, I was biased against the woman. She gave me the slut look. I hate that look.

I stuck a key on my key ring and took the rest back to the kitchen, where I threw them on the island. The guys leapt upon them like tigers in the presence of the world's only pile of steaks.

Throwing a look at Jakotsu, I quietly made my exit out the front door, which was guarded by a swarm of mosquitoes.

The last thing I heard before I shut the door was,

"Dude, why didn't you tell us a chick was moving in with us?" The voice sounded like Miroku's.

"Because you would have started foaming at the mouth, you little man whore, you. Go dump ice down your pants; you're a disgrace to mankind."

A/N: Thanks for the reviews, you guys are really awesome. I know I had to change the characters personalities, looks, and sexual preferences around a bit, but it works out better with the story. Haha.