Chapter 2
In The London Business District…
Austin Powers is the only person in London who drives a 1966 Convertible Jaguar with the British insignia painted all over and the license place that read Shaguar as he makes his way down Cockspur Street. It was the first time in awhile that Austin had any holiday time since his last mission. His first stop was a massage parlor as he pulled his Shaguar over to the curb. Next to the car sat a quaint little shop with the name of Maggie's Massages painted over the black window. Austin got out and entered the parlor. It looked like he remembered it back in the 60's, except it was modernized for the new millennium. He went over to the reception desk and a brunette woman looked up after she was filing her red nails.
She smiled politely to him and asked, "May I help you?"
"Yes, I have an one o'clock appointment with Ms. Maggie," Austin replied.
"Your name?" She inquired.
"Powers, Austin Powers."
She looked down on her calendar search for the name. She smiled a bit and then frowned as she returned her glance back to Austin.
"I'm sorry, Ms. Maggie is out sick today, but I can get someone else to fill her spot?"
"Well, how about you baby?" Austin wondered.
The receptionist chuckled and replied, "I can't. I am not a massage therapist. But I know who is available." She got up and told Austin to wait as she walked through draped beads that hung from the archway of the door and into the back room. Austin wondered what beautiful creature she would bring out. A minute later she brought out a muscular man. Austin jumped in surprise. This wasn't what he was thinking of.
"Mr. Powers this is Rodrigo," She said, "He'll be your massager."
Austin's stomach grew in disgust as so did he expression.
"Um, as a matter of fact," Austin said, "I think I like to cancel my appointment as I have other things I have to get done. Sorry."
He turned and paced quickly from the parlor. His next stop was local grocery market. He needed a couple of things, the essentials, milk, bread and few others. He stopped his cart by the casaba melons as he pick up two feeling them checking them if they were ripe. He looked up and saw another man smiling at him. Austin knew the man was flirting at him as he smiled politely back and dropped the melons back on the pile and moved on. The last stop he made was Sally's Salon. He stopped in front of it and went inside. Another receptionist, this one had long back hair and the bluest eyes he'd ever seen.
She looked up and smiled as she asked, "Hello, how may I help you?"
"Hello, I have a hair appointment, the name Austin Powers," He said smiling to her.
"Yes Mr. Powers you can have a seat over there," She said gesturing her hand to the seats, "And someone will be right with you."
"Alright then," as he walked he wondered if his mojo was still good as he cat walked over. The receptionist looked over smiled and giggled a bit as she returned to her magazine. Austin grinned and in satisfaction as he sat down. Soon a slim woman wearing leather jeans and a black stain blouse walked out. Austin looked up and saw that the woman had short purple hair and lips to match.
"Mr. Powers?" She inquired.
"That's my name, don't ware it out," He chuckled as the woman gave a fake smile.
"My name is Sil, I'll be cutting your hair today," she said, "Will you follow me?"
He stood and they both when to a seat by a sink as Sil motioned her hand for him to sit. Austin sat down as she took his glasses and placed it by a small table that was beside them. She then placed a smock around his velvet suit and turned on the water.
"Have you ever thinking of getting contacts?" Sil wondered.
"Now why would I want to contact some one? I'm right here baby." He replied as Sil leaned the chair back, "Eliminate the middle man yeah."
"I meant eye contacts," She informed him as Sil started to massage his hair. She was a bit digested and wondered when was the last time he showered. "You look much better with out your glasses."
"Oh, Really?' Austin said enjoying the treatment. "You know I had to cancel my massage today, but this makes it up."
Sil then poured some Herbal Essence in her hand then started to rub it in his hair. Austin really enjoyed it.
"Oh, Yeah baby," Austin purred, "Yes yes give to me Yeah Yeah YES YES."
"Ahem," Sil stopped looking at him wondering if this guy was for real.
Austin looked up at her and grinned showing his English teeth, "Totally an organic experience baby."
"Right," She said faking her smiled again and rinsing his hair, "I think we're done with shampooing." Austin acknowledged and got up. "Please sit over there in that chair drier." Austin walked over, but just before he sat down Sil said, "Not that one, the next chair over," Austin pointed and Sil nodded. He smiled to her and sat down.
Sil went over and took a strap from the arms of the chair and wrapped it around his arm. She then did it again on the other side, as Austin was curious of what she was doing.
"Don't worry Mr. Powers," She explained, "This is…a new feature. A bond that keeps the hair on your wrist from burning."
"Well bonds away," He remarked as he chuckled. Sil lightly chuckled sarcastically. He then asked, "This won't take long will it?"
"No," She replied, "It will be so fast you wouldn't remember it." She grinned as he grabbed a remote control from a near by table and aimed it at Austin. Austin looked up at a bit confused as Sil gave sly smile at him. "Good bye Mr. Powers." She then pressed a button on it with her thumb as Austin felt a jolt going through his head.
All of a sudden, Sil heard a gun shot and felt something hit the remote as she dropped it. Austin stopped shaking and was out cold. She looked over the door and saw an auburn haired woman dressed in a business suit aiming a gun at Sil.
"Don't move!" she said, but Sil smirked at her as she grabbed some talcum powder and threw it at the woman.
The auburn woman coughed as the powder turned to a pink cloud around her. She shot twice through the cloud but Sil disappeared. She looked to Austin and quickly aided him as she removed the straps. Austin came around and looked to her wondering who she was.
"Mr. Powers?" she said raising a brow.
"Is that my name?" He replied questionably. "Who are you? Where am I?"
"My mane is special agent Huge, Titti Huge. I work for the Egyptian Secret Service." She answered, "And you don't remember where you are?"
He shook his head as she help Austin out of the chair. Suddenly, everything went dark out side as Titti look towards the window a bit concerned then back to Austin. The TV on a shelf was then unexpectedly turned on by it self as Scott Evil face filled the void. They both looked up at him as he began to speak.
"Leaders of the world. As you can see I have block out the sun entirely with my star shielder. If you don't pay a tribute of one hundred billion dollars to you new god, me, the sun will remain blocked, your crops will die, your energy bills will rise, and there will be a new ice age. Mawhahahahahaha." He ended as the picture went black.
"He's an evil sort isn't he?" Austin inquired.
"You don't remember who he is?" she asked as Austin turned to her.
"Should I?" he wondered.
"Well, That's Scott Evil son of your arch nemesis and – Brother, Dr. Evil." Titti Replied.
"You must off your blocker," Austin argued, "He's evil, vile, nutty and all that. I can't be related to him. Not unless I'm evil?" He turned to Titti, "Am I evil?"
"No you are not," She said, "You are Austin Powers, International man of Mystery for the British Secret Service. Now come on we must see Basil for more information."
"Who?" Austin asked.
"Basil Expedition, your boss," She explained as they exited the building. They headed towards the Shaguar "You still know how to drive, right?"
"Of course," He replied looking at the car, "Is this ugly thing yours?"
"No, its yours," Titti replied getting in the passenger seat.
"Oh," Austin getting inside now that he's embarrassed. He stared at the wheel and asked her, "What's thing do?" She turned to him not believing him, "Just kidding." He chuckled as he started the engine.
She just smiled at him then said, "At least you remember that you have a good sense of humor."
The Shaguar drove away into the streets. Titti was right Austin thought, his memory of who he was, were gone, but his other primary memories still remain. The question before him was why would this Dr. Evil want to erase his memories? What was Dr. Evil up too? And what was that horrible smell? He looked to Titti, smiling politely to her hoping it wasn't her as she gave him directions to the secret service headquarters.