Heeey! I know the last chapter was very, very short but I´ll go on with the story :)

And I´m not the best but I like to write :)

Btw you all are really great thank you so so much 3

Again I don´t own anything.

Addison lay down without a word and that's not Addison like. She is the first who starts to argue. Maybe it was something really serious?

What is wrong with her? Or is she really just tired from work?

Derek was holding her hand while Dr. Rodriguez was taking some blood and yes Addison Forbes Montgomery Shepherd has a fear of needles.

"Ouuch" She whined.

"Addie it´s just a needle and you are a doctor" Derek laughed.

"It´s not funny!" She said with a smile.

Dr. Rodriguez was ready and gave the blood a nurse so she could bring the blood to the lab.

"It will take a while till we´ll get the results so during we wait I´ll make a quick check up"

Addison was pretty quiet the whole time, so was Derek. Dr. Rodriguez took her temperature and it was a little higher than normal but not dangerous high.

So he started to check her stomach.

"Does it hurt here? "

"No"

"There?"

"Ouuuuch it hurts badly! " She screamed.

What was going on? Derek didn´t know what to do he just stared at them. Dr. Rodriguez was using the Ultrasound to see what´s going on in her stomach.

Addison wouldn´t be Addison if she wasn´t already one step along. There it was she couldn´t hold her tears anymore. There was a tiny little human being in her stomach with no heartbeat. It was heart breaking to see her like this. Derek didn´t know what he should do. What was really wrong? And then he saw Dr. Rodriguez expression his finger pointing on the monitor. But how could this happened ? She thought she wasn´t late, she thought she would be barren.

Derek wiped away the gel and took her in his strong arms. She got the fever because it started to infect. She was crying in his arms and couldn´t stop.

"I´m sorry but we really have to take the baby out off her body as soon as possible" Dr. Rodriguez spoke to Derek because he knew that Addison wouldn´t listen. But it was important because you can die when you have this kind of infection. It is something serious when you have a dead fetus in your stomach.

"Addie sweetheart listen to me, listen it´s not your fault but you need surgery and I am so sorry" He kissed her forehead. How will they survive this? How will especially his Addie survive this? She will blame herself for it.

"Ok" She didn´t say more.

Addison was lying in a private room after the surgery, Derek was on her side , holding her hand. She was lying there pale and so lifeless it broke his heart. His head was resting on her bed and he was tired, this day was so long and how can he comfort her after this? How can you say someone who lost their baby everything is going to be ok, how?

"D..Der ?" her voice was weak.

"Addie sweetheart you are awake. How are you feeling? " Maybe it was a stupid question of course she was feeling bad. But he was just happy that she was awake.

"My stomach hurts and I´m exhausted but I want to go home! " She complained.

"Sweetheart look at me you just had a surgery we can´t go home now" He said and held her hand tight.

"It´s my fault that our baby is dead so let me go home I don´t deserve anything" She said and tried to get up but Derek grabbed her arm.

"Lay down! And look at me, Addie look at me! It´s not your fault ok ?" He said with teary eyes.

"Can we please go home Derek? Please?"

"Stay in bed and I will ask the doctor but Adds promise me you´ll stay in bed till I´m back"

"Promise"

He left her room, she was depressed he could feel it. Normally they could never go home after such a surgery but he knew it would be the best for her. So he asked Dr. Rodriguez and he said yes after a 20 minutes talk. Derek promised he would take the week off to take care of her.

When he came back to Addie´s room she was asleep he decided to let her sleep and they could leave when she´s awake.

They arrived at night because Addie slept about 9 hours and the last time she spoke was at the hospital before she felt asleep. So he took her into his arms and carried her into their bedroom. She was looking at him, her expression and her eyes empty.

"Do you want to drink or eat something?" Derek asked and tried to smile.

"No" She put the blankets over her whole body.

"Addie sweetie… he said and grabbed her arm softly ..

"Don´t touch me"

"It´s not your fault"

"No of course not I mean I worked 48 hours and I had a lot surgery´s and I was stressed so no Derek it´s not my fault" She said ironically.

"Adds you don´t know that and it happens without any reason!" He tried to calm her down, he tried the best but he couldn´t help her, not today.

"Oh really Derek I didn´t even notice that I was late.. so let me sleep!" She said and closed her eyes but she didn´t sleep.

Derek was too tired. He lost his kid too! Why was she so cold now? Why didn´t she notice his pain?

Will it ever be the same?