So, I lied, this isn't a two-parter. I was reading through and editing it, and I kept adding more scenes, and then changing things and adding yet more things and…well it grew. There's definitely one more chapter after this, possibly another two…I'm clearly having way too much fun with this situation : )
Thanks a million for the lovely kind reviews so far, I'm so happy people enjoyed the first chapter!
Where the hell has she gone! The Doctor thinks frantically, as he whirls round, searching the dark room for that familiar curly head. She'd told him she was going to the loo about five minutes ago, and he'd since spotted her emerging from the ladies, but then somebody had bumped into him, nearly knocking him flat and in the time it took him to turn round to accept the clearly-very-drunk being's enthusiastic apology before turning back, she'd vanished.
He'd been round the room twice already, even popped into the Tardis to look - but no River. When he tried to get out and couldn't, only to find a couple rather engrossed in each other leaning against his doors, he decided that maybe he should move the blue box anyway, it was rather in the way and the poor dear probably wasn't enjoying being bumped into constantly either. So he'd popped her outside, just down the street, and made his way back in, waving his psychic paper at the security-bot on the door.
Muttering under his breath about everyone always with the wandering off, he stalks over to where he can see Rory in one of the booths.
"Rory!" He shouts in his ear, making him jump. "I've lost River!"
"What?"
"I've lost River!" He repeats.
Rory shakes his head, pointing to the bar. "She's with Amy, they're getting more drinks."
He looks to where Rory's pointing, sure enough to see the two women standing at the crowded bar, laughing and chatting. Relieved, he plonks himself down next to the other man. "More drinks? Rory - you told me not to let her drink anymore an hour ago - why did you let them go to the bar? We'll have to carry them back to the Tardis at this rate!"
Grinning, Rory nods at the Doctor, clearly not having taken in anything he said as he takes another gulp of his pint.
"Oh…forget it." The Doctor slumps back, resigned to a night of drunken fools.
"Darling!" River says loudly the next minute, as she leans over from behind him. He gets a strong whiff of her perfume and copious amounts of alcohol as she does. "These are yours," she tells him as she places four - not one, or two, not even three - but four bloody shot glasses down in front of him. Amy deposits the same in front of Rory and the two women head back to the bar, he assumes, to collect their own.
When they stumble their way back and collapse next to them, they too have four shots lined up in front of them. The two raise a glass each.
"Come on Rory," Amy elbows him.
Rory groans. "You know I hate doing shots, you always make me."
"Oh shut up - wash it down with that!" She motions to his beer. "Ready?"
Rory sighs and lifts a glass, and the Doctor very pointedly ignores the raised eyebrow River gives him. She rolls her eyes and they all clink glasses and knock back a shot.
"Oh my God!" Gasps Amy, taking a long drink from the glass in front of her. "What is this?"
"Voquila," River replies, a smirk on her lips as she swallows her own with only a slight grimace.
"What!" The Doctor injects, "that stuff is lethal River - that's like a double shot!"
"I know," she laughs. "Drink up sweetie!" And her and Amy clink glasses again before downing another one.
"It burns!" Cries Amy, wincing as she wipes her mouth.
"Just do them all quick, "River laughs in reply, handing her mother another one. A few more seconds and both women have finished all four shots, with Rory reluctantly following suit, gulping mouthfuls of beer in between.
"That's foul," he complains, his face screwed up.
"I know but they do the trick," grins River. "Come on sweetie, your turn," she elbows the Doctor.
He fixes her with a look. "I'm not drinking these."
"Fine, I'll have yours then," she picks up one of his glasses and downs it before he can stop her.
"River! No!"
She reaches for another one so just to stop her from drinking any more, the Doctor quickly throws back the three remaining. He chokes, gags, coughs, and waves his arms round like a lunatic as he frantically searches for something to wash it down with as tears pour from his eyes. Finally grabbing Rory's beer, he gulps down a few mouthfuls, still spluttering, as River and Amy shriek with laughter at him.
"Shut up!" He wheezes, his throat still burning. "How the hell can you drink that!"
River just laughs in reply.
He frowns at her. "I'll be back in a minute," he rasps out as he gets to his feet, with the intention of going to the toilets and washing his mouth out for about ten minutes until the burning has stopped. He has to pause a moment when he stands as the room briefly spins rather alarmingly and when he stalks off, he is cursing that curly haired vixen and this whole bloody situation.
River grins after him, and then turns to her parents. "Nature's calling, I'll be back too," she announces, standing and leaving the booth.
She meanders her way skilfully through the crowds, making sure to slip out of sight of her parents before she reaches the door to the toilets. She glances around quickly, making sure nobody is looking before she slips inside. The bathroom is empty and she grins happily, pausing briefly to check herself in the mirror, fluffing her hair up and re-applying her lipstick before moving quietly over to the only shut door.
"River!" Exclaims the Doctor in surprise as he emerges from the cubicle to come face to face with her. "What are you doing in here - this is the mens!"
She grins at him. "I know." And seizing him by the shirt, she yanks him after her back into the cubicle, bolting the door behind them and shoving him up against it.
"Riv -" is all he manages before her mouth swallows his words, and he has to admit, he only struggles for approximately two-point-five seconds before giving in and kissing her back.
Outside, a while has passed and Amy has begun to notice the absence of the other two members of their party.
"Rory, did you see where they went? I thought they were just going to the loo?"
"Dunno. Do you think they still have DJs?"
"What?" Amy frowns at him.
"Maybe they have robot DJs now. Or maybe the music is all on automatic and doesn't need anything controlling it…where are the speakers?"
"Rory," Amy snaps her fingers in front of her husbands face. "Focus. Where have River and the Doctor gone? I haven't seen them in ages. Do you think they're dancing?"
Another shrug. "Maybe."
"It's important, Rory! You know the Doctor and his knack for finding trouble - and I can't say River's much better!"
"I'm sure they're on the dance floor."
"Hmm."
He sighs as Amy looks at him. "I'll go and look," he says, resigned, and gets up to do so.
He is meandering his way through the crowds and Amy is left sipping her drink when she spots them in the far corner of the room. Well she spots River, emerging from the toilets…wasn't that the mens? Her eyes widen. Nope, there's the Doctor too and yes - definitely the mens. She watches her daughter run her hands over her dress, tugging it down as she leans up to speak something into the Doctor's ear and he nods and they make their way across the room, hand in hand. Amy rolls her eyes. She wasn't really surprised with River…but the Doctor... She shakes her head as she goes back to sipping her drink. This was the last time he was going near alcohol when her daughter was around.
"I can't find them," Rory says into her ear as he sits back down, a look of concern on his face. "Maybe they have got into some sort of trouble…"
She laughs. "Oh no, they're definitely fine." She points them out. "They're at the bar now."
"Oh."
Rory is still grumbling about being worried and having started to envision all the terrible things that could have happened to his daughter in a nightclub, disregarding Amy's point of the Doctor being with her and adding that that only added about a thousand extra things, when the two sit back down with them.
River places another pint in front of him, "there you go daddy," she says happily as she kisses his cheek, and he is considerably soothed, although he still has to complain about how worried he'd been and where the hell had they been for the last half hour?
"We - were just…just went outside for some air…it got hot!" The Doctor claims edgily, and River snorts into her drink next to him. Under the table, he pinches her leg and shoots her a cross look.
She winks and turns away. "So, what do you think of a fifty-first century night out?" She addresses Amy.
The redhead turns to look at the Doctor. "Well, I think the Doctor's time-telling skills suck, for a start. And really…not all that much different from our time actually."
"Hey!" The Doctor says, "It was only a rough guess and I wasn't that far out!"
"He thought we were in the fifty-second century." Amy explains.
"Ooh, sweetie," River shakes her head in pity as she teases him. "Not a very good Time Lord really are you?"
"Oh come on - a hundred years out and all I had to go by was the inside of a nightclub - not the sort of place I'm generally familiar with if I'm honest."
They laugh at him, and the conversation continues easily for a while between the four. After a while, Amy and River go off to dance when the men don't want to join them, and shortly after, the Doctor catches sight of them at the bar ordering yet more drinks. He decides that the phrase 'like mother like daughter' is very much true, and that the two females together in a nightclub are a bad combination.
River practically falls back into the booth, sloshing the drink she's holding over his face and jacket. "Thanks dear," he tells her dryly, as he pushes her off and wipes his face, not particularly amused.
"Sorry sweetie!" She laughs drunkenly. "Let me clean it up for you," and she leans over and quick as a flash - licks his face.
"River!" He pushes her away, and while she's distracted trying to wipe the rest off with her hand, he discreetly removes the drink from in front of her, pushing it far over to the edge of the table out of her reach.
She is soon chatting away and thankfully forgets very easily that she ever had one in front of her.
"I'll be right back!" Rory leans over the table to shout before getting to his feet. Unfortunately for him, he misjudges the amount of seat he needs to manoeuvre himself round to get out of the booth, and stumbles, trips, and rolls fully over the seat to land flat on the floor at the end. His wife and daughter scream with laughter, pointing at him as tears roll down their cheeks.
"Rory!" The Doctor exclaims in surprise, failing to see what's so funny. "Are you alright!"
Taking out her phone, Amy snaps a picture of her husband sprawled on the floor, both woman bursting into laughter again at the image on the screen.
"Thanks!" He shouts up at her as he gets to her feet. "Thanks very much, nice of you to help!"
"Oh my God," cries River through laughter as she clutches her side.
"He went flying!" Yells Amy in delight.
"I know!"
"Oh that's it! I've had enough of this!" The Doctor proclaims crossly. "You're all behaving like adolescent fools!"
"Oh like you can talk mister!" Amy accuses him. "I don't know what went on in those toilets earlier but I'm pretty sure it was more than just a peck on the cheek!"
That shuts him up.
Next to him, River laughs loudly, looking all too pleased with herself and he is only glad Rory is still trying to get to his feet and the music is too loud for him to hear them from his place on the floor.
"And you can wipe that smug look off your face," Amy shouts over to her daughter, "you're lucky your father didn't see you come out of those loos with your -" she motions to her general attire, "dress all…skew-wiffle!"
River laughs at her mother. "Skew-wiffle?"
"Oh shut up. It's hard to think of words." She frowns into her drink. "Where's Rory?" She asks the next minute. "Is he still on the floor?"
"Yes!" River confirms with a laugh, slapping the Doctor's arm as she points to her father.
"Stop it River," says the Doctor, taking pity on Rory and stretching down a hand to help him up. "Are you alright?"
"Yeah," replies Rory, dazedly as he sits back down. "Quite comfortable down there."
River stands up, and it's only the Doctor's quick reflexes, remarkably unaffected by the alcohol he'd drunk, that stop her from copying her father and tumbling right down to the floor. "Woah," she breathes, as she drags herself back onto the seat with the Doctor's arms round her to help. "Thank you sweetie, that was close!" She laughs it off and he realises how much she's swaying even sitting down.
"M'just gonna get us some more cocktails." She announces, and makes to stand again but the Doctor still has hold of her arm and roughly and yanks her back down.
"No you don't - we've all had quite enough."
"Gotta agree with the Doctor here, River," Rory adds, his voice slightly slurred. "Don't think I can manage any more."
"Oh," she waves them off with a roll of her eyes. "Amy will have another round with me, won't you?" She goes to move again but the Doctor is quicker.
"No, no more!" He says sternly as he tugs her back.
"Let gooo Doctor," she whines, trying to wriggle her arm free. "I want another drink!"
"No," he says gruffly, "come here," and grabs her by the waist with one hand so he can very unceremoniously shove the other one down the front of her dress.
"Doctor!" She squeals loudly.
Still scowling, he tugs the wad golden notes out and rises to his feet.
She gasps. "Hey!"
"I'm going to pay off the tab, and then we're going home!"
"I can't believe you just did that!"
"Neither can I," agrees Rory, looking a bit cross. The Doctor is cross enough himself that he doesn't care.
"Stay there! Rory - watch her."
Rory salutes him. "Watch her. Yessir. Got it." All three burst into laughter and the Doctor realises that even Rory the Roman who he'd thought he could rely on to be sensible is going to be no help to anyone.
When he gets back to the table after paying off the very large tab (how the hell could anyone spend all that on alcohol?) the Doctor finds River lying flat across the seat, eyes closed, her head in Amy's lap and legs hanging off the edge.
"Oh for Gods sake," he grumbles, leaning down to speak loudly to Amy. "Has she passed out?"
"'Course I haven't passed out sweetie," River replies, opening her eyes. "Just felt like lying down." She grins up at him.
"Right."
She holds out a hand to him. "Help me up."
He huffs loudly as he takes it. "Come on, we're going home." He leans down to take hold of River by the other arm to pull her upright.
"Oh but Doctor," Amy whines. "We were just gonna go dance again, weren't we Rory…just one more dance? Pleeease?"
He sighs. "Well fine, do what you want but I'm taking her back now." He tells them as she fiddles with his bow-tie. "Stop it River - I'll see you at the Tardis - just turn right out of here and it's straight down the street - River! Don't do that!" He swats her hands away to do his bow-tie and the three buttons of his shirt she'd managed to yank open back up. She giggles against his neck as she runs her hands up his back under his jacket and he swallows a little. River can make him nervous with her flirting at the best of times, but young, drunk River is positively terrifying.
"We going to the Tardis sweetie?" She asks in his ear, in that low, ridiculously sexy tone her voice takes on when she wants it to.
"Yes, I'm taking you back now."
"Well good," she coos, running a hand down over his chest. "Cause I can't wait to get out of this dress."
"River," he says sternly, because he doesn't know what else he can say, and he is very glad of the loud music that means her parents can't hear her, and the dark lights that cover his blush.
"It's faaar too tight," she continues in his ear, as he pulls her to her feet, her arms still wrapped round him and all over him -
"We're going now!" He tells her firmly, trying to pluck her from him so he get her moving.
"…and I'm not wearing anything underneath it."
"See you back at the Tardis!" He shouts at Amy and Rory, his voice rather high pitched as he yanks River's hand away from his bow-tie again and firmly taking her arm, spins them to start walking her from the room.
"Ooh, in a hurry are we honey?" She giggles drunkenly to him.
"In a hurry to get you away from your parents River, before you could undress me in public - will you pull yourself together!" He scolds her, shrugging his jacket back on and yanking her hands from it. "Walk, River, the door's over there."
She trips over up the steps but he luckily has hold of her enough to keep her upright and he pushes her out of the door as she laughs loudly. "Oh, this is so embarrassing," he complains as they get disapproving looks from the security on the door.
Now all he's left with is the task of getting drunk River back to the Tardis. It's only down the road, and normally, with nothing life-threatening in between as there doesn't appear to be, this would have been a very easy feat indeed. But, he thinks as she hangs heavily off his arm, singing along to the song they can still hear blaring out from inside and he trips up the curb, this may be quite a challenge in itself.
I hope you enjoyed, like I said this was very fun to write :D I'm a bit worried River may come across a bit out of character, but you have to remember she's young here, and we haven't seen all that much of the young version of her in the series at all. And she was trained to be a psychopath, I'm sure there'd still be a bit of a wild side to her when she was this young lol.
Please tell me what you think! Much love to you all! xx