Hello everyone, here's the second chapter. This chapter will cover the first appointment between Ticarti and Ahsoka and will cover the conversation the two of them have in chapter 11 of The Order Redeems. This chapter will go into depth about what Ticarti was thinking of Ahsoka's answers and exactly why Ticarti knew Ahsoka was asking herself questions. Again, it's Master Ticarti Mai's point of view.

A Counsellor's Story: Chapter 2 – The First Meeting

It was early morning when I finally realised that I'd been reading up on this case for most of the night and believe me, between Ahsoka's physical medical condition, the situation of her discovery by Anakin, Obi-Wan and Katooni, her rape, her visions of Darth Sidious and the circumstances of her trial and false imprisonment, there was a lot of reading.

I couldn't help but feel annoyed by the council; I had noticed myself that they had started to lack compassion recently and this just confirmed it. I just sighed; it wasn't the first time I'd been mad at the council and I doubt it would be the last. At least they did the right thing by allowing marriage and allowing poor Ahsoka to get treated here. It was at this point that I finally made it to bed that night.

After waking up the following day and eating breakfast, I turned my attention to my requirements that day. Being a Master and a healer, a medical data terminal was installed in my quarters so I could check on my patients and my appointments before I left for the Halls of Healing. To my relief the only patient I needed to see that day was Ahsoka; I blinked initially when I read in healing records that the first appointment with her was that afternoon. It had initially been in the morning, but the council had pushed it back for some reason but there was no mention of what that reason was.

I therefore decided to do some more preparation. I spent the morning doing research on anti-depressants and mood stabilisers. Given how bad Ahsoka seemed to be, even though she was hiding it and coping with it well according to the file, I felt it was prudent to find what which medications were safe for Togrutans. Although I never like prescribing drugs for mental health issues, I had to consider the possibility that it may have been required in this case.

I had managed, after some considerable searching (Togrutas aren't the easiest species to find medical information on), to create myself a shortlist of suitable medications so I left my quarters for the Halls of healing. I was very surprised to say the least to see Master Luminara Unduli just leaving the Halls of Healing, "Luminara, nice to see you. What are you doing in the Halls? You haven't hurt yourself I hope."

She smiled at me and I could sense a mix of emotions from her, relief, shock, admiration and joy. The shock and joy surprised me; you don't often get those emotions in the wards. "No it's nothing like that Ticarti," she replied to me, "In fact; I've just taken Ahsoka back to her room in the Halls."

Now that surprised me; what was Ahsoka doing out of her room in that condition? Given her condition, I had the thought that, maybe, she had tried to run. Such responses are not uncommon in patients who are suffering from P.T.S.D., as Ahsoka clearly was; I could tell that just from the file. Frowning, I asked her, "What was she doing out of her room? Did she run?"

Luminara looked at me rather bizarrely, I could almost sense her thinking, 'Whatever gave you that idea?' She however answered, "No, the council gave her permission to visit Barriss in prison. Ahsoka insisted that she could bring Barriss back to the light." Luminara's face beamed and I could sense her immense joy as she continued, "I escorted her there. I was amazed when she actually did it. She called me to enter the cell and when I did, I saw Barriss crying on Ahsoka's shoulder; all her darkness gone. How that poor girl found the strength to drive the darkness out of Barriss, I will never know. I tell you one thing Ticarti, there is something special in Ahsoka; I will never be able to pay her back for this; I owe her Barriss' life potentially."

"Barriss was sentenced to death wasn't she?" I replied. I remember crying myself slightly after I had heard the news of her sentence.

I could see a tear in Luminara's eye as she responded, "Yes…Yes she was. Although she deserved it after bombing the temple, killing those clones and framing Ahsoka, I still cried for most of the night. Barriss is the nearest thing to a daughter I've got; hence why I owe Ahsoka so much. The council gave me permission to take Barriss in front of them if Ahsoka succeeded. Now that she has and Barriss has come back, there's a chance her life could be spared."

I nodded; I wondered myself how Ahsoka was able to bring Barriss back. I read in the file that before all this, Ahsoka and Barriss were best friends; maybe that had something to do with it. I suspected however that Ahsoka must have dove into the Force; I must remember to ask her about redeeming Barriss during the appointment. "So where is Barriss?" I asked.

"With temple security," Luminara replied, "I'm going to collect her now to take her in front of the council. I pray to the Force that they will allow her to live."

"I hope so too. Now she has come back, she does deserve it. It takes a lot of spirit to come back from the Dark Side." Secretly, I hoped so for Ahsoka's sake as well. The fact that she was willing to overlook the betrayal to try and bring back the girl who framed her proved how important Barriss was to Ahsoka.

Luminara nodded to me, "So Ticarti, what are you up to at the moment?"

I smiled, "Actually, the council have just assigned me Ahsoka's case. I'm going to be her counsellor."

Gaining a rather large smile, Luminara said, "Well Ticarti, I'm so glad that girl is going to get some real help. Do me a favour Ticarti; try to get her to do something with her life. The thought of that poor girl living the rest of her life alone on Shili is heart-breaking."

Alone on Shili? That was interesting; I will have to remember to talk about that when I see Ahsoka; though perhaps not during the first appointment. "Well, I'll try to get the best outcome for her Luminara. You know me, I always try to."

Luminara smiled, "I know; you're one of a kind Ticarti. Anyway, I need to get Barriss in front of the council so I'll leave you with Ahsoka. Good luck with her, I hope you can heal her. Bye my friend."

"Goodbye Luminara; I'll see you soon" I sated as I walked away. I instantly realised what an interesting conversation that had been. I also realised that Ahsoka was going to be even more complicated and fascinating than I thought. Even without meeting her, I now knew that there was something interesting going on in her head. Yes fascinating indeed.

I spent the next hour checking up on notes and obtaining the medications I had previously listed. Although I don't want to put Ahsoka on medication, I decided to have them on me if I found I really needed to. All the time I was doing this, I just had to wonder how Barriss had got on with the council. I had to admit I had been fond of the Mirialan Padawan myself when I had given her some instruction; still, I suppose that was up to the council. I looked up from what I was doing and noticed from the chrono on the wall that it was time for my appointment with Ahsoka. I paused for a second to collect my thoughts and headed off to her room.

I walked into Ahsoka's room. I could instantly see and sense her checking me out. She was staring at me with her crystal blue eyes; it was at that point I remembered that she hadn't met me before and had never seen a counsellor before. She probably had no clue what I was about to ask her or what was about to happen; even I have to admit that sometimes we counsellors can be unsettling when our patients first meet us so I decided to be as friendly and open as I could be.

"Good afternoon Ahsoka" I stated. I made a conscious effort to smile at her to put her at much ease as was possible. I then continued, "I'm Master Ticarti Mai. I have been assigned to assist you overcome your ordeal."

I must say, I was slightly surprised when she blinked at me. I could sense she was slightly taken aback about something but it wasn't particularly important. She suddenly broke out into a smile of her own before she replied, "Good afternoon Master Mai."

Hmmmm, that was formal; very formal. I began to wonder about that instantly; Ahsoka wasn't a Jedi so such formality wasn't required. Why was she doing that? I instantly realised that a part of her was still a Jedi even though she didn't know it; I must press that at some point. Nevertheless, as I've stated before, I'm not keen on such formality so decided to put her right about that, "Please, just call me Ticarti. I don't like the Jedi formalities when dealing with patients." I began to sense some confusion with in her. I wondered if she quite knew how she was, so I asked, "So Ahsoka, how do you feel?"

My suspicion of her confusion was confirmed when she stopped for a second; I could sense her asking herself the same question before she eventually replied, "Happier than I was I guess."

Happier than she was? What did she mean by that? Happier than what? Still those were questions for the future. For now I just decided to be a bit awkward try to get her to think, so composed my next question accordingly, "That's great, but why do you feel happier?"

I could sense that Ahsoka was initially stumped by that question; which of course had been my plan. Her final response was more than I expected, "Um, things are going better I suppose. The evil Palpatine is dead the guy that raped me is in custody and I brought Barriss Offee back to the light earlier so I've got my best friend back."

I was taken aback by her response. There was no way I was touching the subject of Tarkin raping her yet; it was way too soon. I knew that Ahsoka wouldn't trust me yet. In fact after what happened to her, I'd doubt she would trust anyone at that moment. That in fact was my first goal in this case, as indeed, it always was, gaining the trust of the patient. I did notice that she brought up something I planned to ask her anyway; the redemption of Barriss which had intrigued me since Luminara spoke about it. I therefore just decided to ask about it, "Yes, Luminara told me about that. You have made her very happy. That was a wonderful thing you did Ahsoka. Tell me, where did you get the strength to do that?"

"I don't know, I guess I just wanted my best friend back so I did what I had to do to make it happen." I noticed that Ahsoka had broken out into a grin, which I found interesting in itself. She then continued "I guess the Force helped me also."

As I thought; I knew she must have drawn on the Force somehow from what Luminara told me. The fact that she said she wanted her best friend back also raised questions in my mind; it seemed she thought she was losing everything in her life, which I suppose in some ways she was. I had to wonder at that stage if her brain really wanted to make the decisions she had made. I decided to keep an eye or ear out for that. Nevertheless, I decided to keep my observations to myself for now so just responded with, "The Force will always help us my dear." It was as I was finishing that sentence that I had an idea; one that may annoy Ahsoka slightly, but would give me the answer to what I was wondering; did she really want to leave the Order? With this in mind, I continued, "The Force is always a Jedi's best friend Ahsoka."

Her response to me was rapid and sharp, which didn't surprise me, "But I'm not a Jedi" she looked down "At least, not anymore."

A thought immediately went through my mind, 'Hmmm, she said that very quick; almost too quickly. I wonder?' In addition, I didn't need to Force to detect the slight hint of anger and remorse in her voice. The anger I expected of course; I'd made that statement deliberately for that reason but the remorse I did find really interesting; I was right. Subconsciously Ahsoka didn't want to leave. Putting on a very calm tone, I pushed the topic, but in a very subtle way, "That doesn't actually matter Ahsoka, you are still strong in the Force and it will always help you. Tell me, have you meditated recently?" I wanted to know if she had kept up any Jedi practice; hence my question about meditation.

I could sense Ahsoka's surprise at my question. Again that had been part of my plan; surprise made her think. She quickly replied, "Not really. Mind you, I don't really trust myself much with the Force right now."

Another thought flashed through my mind, 'Interesting statement, especially since she used it to aid with Barriss.' It was at this point that I realised the complexity of this case. Ahsoka had been damaged in many ways; notably trust. I also realised what a pleasant girl Ahsoka was. It seemed to me she would do anything for anyone and I hoped I could turn her into a friend as well as a patient. In addition, I could sense as she was stating that that she was indeed questioning herself as I thought. She really didn't want to leave did she but felt she had to for some reason; I decided to push that on future appointments.

In reply therefore I gave the response, "You must mediate Ahsoka, it will help you more than you realise. You may find it will answer a question you have; that question you are almost too scared to admit to yourself that you're asking. However, I must ask. Why don't you trust yourself?" I threw in the question at the end. I knew her response would be interesting.

I noticed Ahsoka wince. I could sense that she didn't want to answer that. Silently, I nodded to myself; I'd found the important part of the case. I hoped that Ahsoka did chose to answer me, though of course, she did have the right not to answer if she wished. Eventually, I heard her sigh before she finally answered me, "Ticarti, I spent almost a week on the run. On the run from my former friends. During this time I found myself having to act first and ask questions later. Once I was found innocent, I wasn't sure if I could control that; at least not at first especially after the rape and visions."

Secretly, I winced at this answer; the poor girl. She really had been destroyed by this. I was in fact amazed she was holding herself together as well as she was. Still, I had to press her more about it, but do it carefully, "So….you stopped using the Force as you thought you would lose control. That's actually a very wise path to take Ahsoka. It takes a strong spirit to realise a lack of control. So how do you feel about it now?"

I noticed Ahsoka had to stop and think again; I could sense that her feelings and emotions were all over the place at that moment. This further confirmed my suspicion about her thoughts. She suddenly replied, snapping me out of my thoughts, "I guess redeeming Barriss has helped me regain control a bit. I must admit to a hint of fear in the prison."

A hint of fear in the prison wasn't surprising; she had been incarcerated in there after all. I often get told by ex-criminals who reform that being looked in makes you scared of secure places. The fact that she ignored it and still redeemed Barriss was doubly impressive and proof, at least in my mind, that she should still be a Jedi. I'm very sad at the fact that she wasn't. I covered up my sadness, raising shields around my mind so that Ahsoka couldn't sense it and responded, "But you pushed through it. Ahsoka, that's enough for now. I will see you again. I'm going to leave you with a request; I want you to meditate on what we have discussed here and I want you to use the Force slightly. Don't do anything you aren't comfortable with, but I think it will do you good. Well goodbye until our next appointment Ahsoka." I felt that Ahsoka needed to re-connect with the Force in a safe way to restore her confidence in her control.

"Goodbye Master Mai." Ahsoka responded, and I turned and walked out of the door. There was no doubt in my mind that this was going to be a difficult case.

I headed back to my quarters to review the first appointment. I always do this with new cases as sometimes, I gain extra insight with hindsight. This time however, I just confirmed to myself what I knew. Ahsoka's experiences had removed her of any trust especially of herself. There was one thing I was happy about; I didn't need to prescribe her any meds with is always of benefit.

I turned my attention to planning the second appointment which was scheduled for the following day. I wondered whether to touch on the trial and rape. It was a risk and ordinarily, I would have left it till the third or fourth appointment, but in this case, I sensed it needed to be dealt with as soon as was possible, so I added it to the list as well as her future. Like Luminara, I didn't want her living alone on Shili. People with mental health issues who are on their own often end up attempting suicide and I definitely wanted to avoid that. Still one thing was clear; she was indeed suffering from P.T.S.D. but fortunately, it wasn't quite as bad as I feared. I realised at that moment that I could help her and would not stop until I had.

Well that's chapter 2. Please tell me your thoughts. The next chapter covers their second appointment and Ahsoka talks about her deep thoughts on the trial, the Jedi Order and her rape and Ticarti starts to steer Ahsoka away from Shili once Anakin's offer of Ahsoka living with him and Padmé comes through.