This was too fun to just stop writing about. I apologize for any 'Behind the Mask' readers, I know I should be updating that one first but Draco monologues just come to my mind more clearly…should I be worried about that?
Anyway, another installment, somewhat Scorpius related. Not as funny as the first, but eh, decent I guess…enjoy!
Don't own of course, just having fun.
Dear diary, I have found you amongst the authorities belongings. I have to tell you, it wasn't easy. The contents of a woman's purse are, frankly, terrifying. I almost had my arm chopped off, so be grateful I saved you. Don't worry, I will hide you well so that the authorities never lays a hand on you again. I fear if she finds you a second time, we will both be Crucio'd to our deaths. I will have to do a better job of spoiling Scorpius, so that he can avenge our early demise against his cruel, cruel mother…
Dear diary, Scorpius continues to baffle me. The authorities and I bought him a present, some kind of toy hover car—I argued that a broom would have been just as well but said authorities baited me with a cookie and I suddenly forgot what we were talking about…It was double chocolate chip, with sprinkles embedded inside each chip. The texture was chewy, the chips gooey, as all chocolate chip cookies should be. It was absolutely delicious, and even though my inquisitive mind realized this very well could be a trap, I ate it anyway. After a few moments, nothing happened, and the authorities smiled at me. Aw. These are moments that remind me why I love her…Hang on, what was I talking about? Oh right, the toy. Scorpius latched onto the black ribbon instead, and simply tossed the toy aside with the garbage…Surely I was never this artless. Really, he must get this from her. There's no way my pureblood would induce such simplicity into a Malfoy. I blame that full head of hairs he has, it must be suffocating his brain too…
Dear diary, the authorities has left for a work related conference. She will be gone for an entire week. I am…not sure how to feel. On one hand, I will be free to do what I like without any repercussions. On the other, she left without leaving anything to eat. Scorpius will be fine, he eats worms for crying out loud. But I, on the other hand, may possibly starve to death. Ah. I see now. She planned this all along…
Dear diary, Scorpius will be starting pre-school soon. I think it's a complete waste of time. I mean, I never did pre-k and look how well I turned out? When I made this point to the authorities, however, she began to laugh. I tried to inquire what was so funny, but then Scorpius ran into the room and right into the kitchen table leg. I didn't bother asking anymore, perhaps, for once, she is right. Our child seems to lack a brain…
Dear diary, I have come to the conclusion that Scorpius is in fact, another man's son. Sure, we look alike, and he even has my hair color, but who's to say he isn't a metamorphmagus? I hate to admit it, but the authorities is actually quite intelligent, so I can't blame his stupidity on her now can I? And there's no way he gets it from me. The only person I can think of is that ginger friend of hers, Weasley. Yes, that must be it. I will talk to her about this…
Dear diary, I should have never brought up my theory. Have I mentioned how evil the authorities can be? I am currently staying over at Blaise Zabini's house. It is a cold, cold room, with too much light, and not enough curtains to block out the sun. The worst part: his family is vegan. There are no cookies in the house. At all. My spirit is breaking…
Dear diary, I received an owl today from Scorpius. He's four already, and apparently can write enough to say that he loves me and he's sorry about mommy kicking me out. He blames himself, the poor kid. And just when I thought I couldn't feel more guilty *sobs* he attached a sock full of cookies. I…have nothing to say at the moment…
Dear diary, I'm back home again, and Scorpius is, apparently, my son. At least I'm going to have to keep telling myself that. Little bastard or not, I've grown more attached to him these days. He's beginning to see the authorities true colors. He wrote his name all over the wall, and even though it was misspelled at least five times, I have to say, I was pretty proud of the little tyke. But then she arrived. And all hell broke loose. In the end, he received three spanks, and no more dessert for the week. After I comforted him, I made sure to eat his piece of pie for the evening. So that he wouldn't be tempted to disobey her again. Really, I'm only helping the kid out, that's all…
Dear diary, something amazing happened today. I've gotten used to the authorities muggle box of entertainment, and so while watching a documentary on 'bay watch', Scorpius busied himself by finding odd things around the house to build his latest tower of nonsensical items. Caroline, a young brunette, was just about to burst out of the water after saving a baby dolphin when suddenly, 'Daddy, daddy, hurry and turn it off, they're coming!' Baffled, and slightly irritated that I missed the best part of the show, I turned to Scorpius and asked, 'Who's coming?' The door opened from three rooms away, and Scorpius leaned in and whispered into my ear, 'The authorities.' By gods I almost cried. Almost…
Dear diary, Scorpius is indeed my son. And you are safe, for now. Until next time…