Behind the Scenes

Disclaimer: I don't own the Harry Potter characters, J.K. Rowling does. Will have Voldemort in later chapters! ;) Phelan Noel and Donna Boot went to Hogwarts together in the 70's.

AN: Captain of Pride of Portree Season 2 for The Quidditch League Fanfiction Competition

"Avada Kedavra!" – Speaking

'Knowledge is power!' – Thoughts

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Scene in The Cave

Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince

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SCENE START

"Professor Dumbledore…what do we do?" Harry asked fearfully to the headmaster as he walked backwards toward the basin in the middle of the island. He and Dumbledore were getting a horcrux, Slytherin's locket, from a basin in the middle of an island in a cave. Right at the moment, they were surrounded by inferi crawling out of the water onto the island. They were slow but there were many of them.

"Well Harry, right now we…take over the WORLD! Muwahahahahaha!" Dumbledore laughed evilly. Harry just looked at him and bust out laughing while the inferi froze and just stared at the pair.

"Cut! Cut!" Yelled the director. "Albus, you were supposed to bring out your flame whip, not go into evil mode. This is not fanfiction!"

Albus smiled abashedly, "Sorry director, I got carried away in the moment."

"Okay everyone, take five." The director sighed and spoke to every person on set.

"Oh come on! I hate being wet…" An inferi complained.

"Psst...Hey Donna…" Another inferi whispered.

"What?" Glared the first inferi.

"You look hot in that wet costume!" The second inferi grinned with a leer.

"Oh, does this zombie-ish look turn you on Phelan Noel?" Donna Boot asked posing in a seductive way.

"You bet it does! This reminds me of our first cosplay bedroom scene. Remember you were the Angel of Death sending me on my way to the afterlife?" Phelan sighed happily, lost in his memories.

Donna rolled her eyes blushing a bit. Then she seductively walked to Phelan, then put her pointer finger on his chest and slowly trailed her finger down him while smirking at him. Phelan went hot under her touch and was just about to kiss her when…

"Let's get back to work everyone!" The director interrupted their moment.

"Damn!" Phelan whined.

"Don't worry," Donna whispered in his ear, "We'll continue later." With that she bounced away making her already rotting flesh look even worse.

Phelan followed her moments with his eyes before walking toward her since they were supposed to leave the water together. Everyone got back into their places and the camera started rolling again.

SCENE START

"Professor Dumbledore…what do we do?" Harry asked fearfully to the headmaster as he walked backwards toward the basin in the middle of the island. He and Dumbledore were getting a horcrux, Slytherin's locket, from a basin in the middle of an island in a cave. Right at the moment, they were surrounded by inferi crawling out of the water onto the island. They were slow but there were many of them.

"Well Harry, right now we…" But he didn't finish that sentence as Harry loudly exclaimed and pointed toward a particular pair of inferi.

The pair of inferi were in a heated battle of tongues and Harry's eyes widened beyond belief before Dumbledore put his hands to cover his eyes. "Young minds should not see displays of this unyouthfulness," Dumbledore commented while Harry tried to wiggle out of the hold.

"Cut! Cut! What are you two doing?" The director yelled at the pair (really was that the only volume he speaks in?).

"Uhhhhh…" One of them commented while the other elbowed him in the side before replying, "Sorry, won't happen again, we promise."

"See that you don't young missy! You're supposed to act like you died by Voldemort from the first war and turned into inferi! Really people," the director shouted before telling everyone to get back to their places.

"And ROLL!"

SCENE START

"Professor Dumbledore…what do we do?" Harry asked fearfully to the headmaster as he walked backwards toward the basin in the middle of the island. He and Dumbledore were getting a horcrux, Slytherin's locket, from a basin in the middle of an island in a cave. Right at the moment, they were surrounded by inferi crawling out of the water onto the island. They were slow but there were many of them.

"Well Harry, right now we…" And he was interrupted again when one of the pair of inferi from before tripped and the other caught her before they both fell to the ground. Since they were 'heated' up a bit, the girl inferi on top ground her hips into the male inferi and kissed him passionately.

"Oh for the love of…" Dumbledore started before he pulled Harry into his chest with Harry's face facing away from the pair. "Let me see! Let me see!" Harry wriggled trying to free himself from his grip.

"Cut! Cut! What is up with you two?"

"It's his fault!" The girl inferi (again) pointed at the guy inferi. "I think he accidentally took some Viagra this morning instead of his supplements for working out."

The director face-palmed before sighing. "We are never going to get anything done today, are we?" He grumbled into his palm.

"Okay, ONE last time we'll try the scene again," the director ordered and everyone got into position again.

SCENE START

"Professor Dumbledore…what do we do?" Harry asked fearfully to the headmaster as he walked backwards toward the basin in the middle of the island. He and Dumbledore were getting a horcrux, Slytherin's locket, from a basin in the middle of an island in a cave. Right at the moment, they were surrounded by inferi crawling out of the water onto the island. They were slow but there were many of them.

"Well Harry, right now we…" It's like they couldn't catch a break, the pair of inferi were almost ripping their clothes off to full on procreate right on set in front of everyone! Before Dumbledore could close Harry's eyes and protect him from such a sight, Harry leaped out of the way and just stared at the couple, his mind boggled.

"Whoa! Is that the stage after snogging?" Harry asked Dumbledore who only sighed and shook his head.

"Cut! Cut! Argh! We're ending the scene for today, and you two! Don't desecrate the set!" The director yelled his orders and left the set fuming.

The pair didn't care and was oblivious to the world, too in-tune with each other. Dumbledore had to forcefully drag Harry away who had his mouth hanging open in amazement thinking, 'I gotta try that sometime!'

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AN: Please review! Honest criticism is welcome and if you see any errors, please tell me! :)

I wrote this for a competition, so it was kinda rushed and I had to think of something quick. Then this happened and it was actually pretty fun! Never read anything like this before (at least I don't think so) and I'm going to continue with different scenes from the books & movies. ;)