Introduction

Three boats met at an island at the center. The part-time host, Ben Koopa, met them as they got out with their luxury item.

"Hello," Ben said, "and welcome. Jeff is out on jury duty, so I'll be your host for the time being."

The audience clapped.

"Now, have any of you watched Survivor before?"

Rosalina and Wario raised their hands.

"Hmm." Ben nodded. "Well, this is similar, but also different. In Royal Survivor, you'll all be on the same island. You will be able to interact and make agreements with each other, although you'll be separated by the wilderness and probably won't see each other until further into the game.

"Next on the list, there will be no immunity challenges. You heard me. Instead, there will be the Immunity Torch." Ben held up a torch with a red ring around it. "If your torch gets burned in another camp, no matter what the circumstances, your tribe will be sent to tribal council and will have to vote off one of your own. You will receive your torch on Saturday.

"Lastly, there will be two different challenges. The Coin Challenge, and the Advantage challenge.

"The Coin Challenge is a challenge where one person from each tribe will compete to earn Ancient Coins. The Ancient Coins will allow you to buy luxury goods for your tribe at an auction that will be held every Saturday. There will be a Coin Challenge every Sunday, Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturday. You will read a mysterious omen as to what the challenge will be, and then you have to send the member of your team who you think would do best.

"The Advantage Challenge is where each tribe will compete to earn a large bonus that will help you conquer other tribes. It sometimes challenges individual members of your tribes, but most of the time it focuses on your integrity as a whole. You will learn to love your tribe mates like family, but there can only be one survivor.

"Each tribe has an advantage in where they are located. You will find it sooner or later.

"Today is Monday. I have provided you with five six-person portions of rice, but by the end of the week you will have to hunt for yourselves. Oh, and…

"There will be a tribal council every week. The tribe who finished fourth in the Advantage Challenge, unless a tribal torch is burned, will be sent to tribal council."

Hero, Monday

Mario, Peach, DK, Toad, Bowser, and Wario are looking at the machetes that have been provided for them. Peach looks uneasy, but Wario feels right at home with the blade.

Peach: I'm not very comfortable handling a blade. I was told to stay away from blades. I hope I don't cut myself…

The Hero tribe exits on the beach. They look at the crate that is right in front of them.

"That must be the rice." Wario commented.

The team hauled it up.

"Anyone else as excited as I am?" Mario asked, excited.

"Sure, I guess. I mean, the million-coin prize sounds pretty good to me." Wario said.

Bowser: Nobody's as enthusiastic about this as Mario. I have a feeling he pretty much signed us all up, because, even though my memory's not the greatest, I don't remember signing up to be away from the comfort of home for who knows how long.

The tribe opens the crate and finds the rice inside. Also, there are several cans of tomatoes, a couple full waterskins, basic fishing gear, and a cauldron.

"Okay," Peach began, "I'm guessing we need to find water?"

"Fire." DK insisted. "Fire first. If we don't find some flint, any water around here is useless."

Toad shuddered. "Germs. Yucky."

Toad: I'm 100% sure I didn't sign up for this. Who wants to drink tainted water? I know I don't.

DK went to find flint, Mario went to find a water source, and Peach, Wario, and Bowser started to gather materials to build a shelter.

"Toad," Mario said, "Scout the territory. Tell me if you find anything interesting."

Toad: Mario is a self-absorbed brat. End of story. But I don't want to get him on my bad side, so I'm going to follow his orders. For now.

Fire, Monday

"WHOOOOO!" Daisy yelled as she got off the boat.

Daisy: This is my favorite show ever. I mean who couldn't like surviving in the wilderness on your own for a few months? I can't name anybody.

Bowser Jr: Daisy is almost as bad as Mario, from what I've heard. What I don't understand is how Daisy ended up with Luigi. Sure, he's a nice guy, but he can be a bit, like, overconfident.

After inspecting their inventory, Daisy volunteered to scout while Luigi and Diddy Kong started building a shelter. Toadette said she was going to be the cook, and Luigi said he was going to start fishing. Bowser Jr. was left to find the flint.

Toadette: Look, I'm not lazy. Anybody who doesn't know how to make rice properly could make a hot mess. Literally. In the meantime, I'm looking for flint along with BJ. Which I'm not too happy about.

Daisy ventured away from the group. The landscape was beautiful. Palm trees and fauna dotted the landscape. But the most astounding was the river.

After about half an hour, Daisy came to a river Luigi was fishing at. The river had quite a few fish in it, which was good news, but it had clean, fresh water that could be used for bathing. At the mouth of the river was a waterfall, which would make a perfect shower.

Luigi netted a fish. "Gotcha! Look at that!" The fish was about two pounds, Daisy estimated that it would have about one pound of meat when gutted.

Luigi: I wouldn't say I'm a good fisherman… I'd say I'm a great fisherman. Been doing it forever.

Daisy walked on. She struck her machete on a few rocks, but none of them made sparks. She walked back to camp.

Outcast, Monday

The Outcasts got off of their boat. After checking their inventory, Ed and Birdo started building the shelter, Rosalina went off to explore, Funky Kong climbed a tree to post as a lookout, and Bro Mamma started looking for sticks to build a fire. They didn't need to look for flint, because Yoshi had brought a lighter as his luxury item.

A chilly wind broke in from the sea. Everyone was glad for the warmth of the fire. When the shelter was finished, it was about six in the afternoon.

Rosalina came back. "I see you've got a fire going. Good job." Rosalina acknowledged their good work. "But I found something even better. There are large clay deposits near here."

"Meaning?" Ed asked.

"Meaning, we can build a much more durable shelter by the time the week's out. It'll be safe from the wind and rain. By the time the week is out…" Rosalina chuckled. "…we'll be leaps and bounds above any other tribe."

Everyone cheered.

Hero, Tuesday

DK loaded his rifle and planned to go hunting when he noticed he had tree mail.

"Hey, guys! Tree mail!"

DK dropped his rifle to climb up the tree. Strapped to the coconut was a message:

"The tides are turning…" DK read aloud.

"Only one who has endurance will have strength.

"The tides are in…

"You'd better hurry."

"Well, that's utterly confusing." Mario said.

Mario: Couldn't we have something be clear for once?

"I volunteer DK." Wario said.

"WHAT?" DK said.

DK: Look, I may be the strongest, but strength isn't everything!

"You do it, you coward. I need to keep hunting." DK wandered off.

"Fine." Wario took the note and walked toward the challenge ground.

"Bet you half my rice he doesn't make it." Bowser said to Mario.

"You're on."

Mario: Bowser said it loud enough that Wario could've heard him. And besides, Bowser's rations are HUGE. I figured I'd win more than I'd lose.

Fire, Tuesday

"I'll do it." Luigi volunteered.

"No, we need you to fish." Daisy said. "I think Waluigi should do this."

"Who, me?" Waluigi said, but he didn't look surprised.

"Yeah. You're probably the strongest person here who isn't really needed."

"I'll take that as a compliment." Waluigi said. He walked off to the challenge grounds.

Outcast, Tuesday

"So… who is doing this one?" Nobody raised their hand to Rosalina's question.

Rosalina: My tribe is made up of a bunch of lazy bums. I figured they'd sooner take a nap than win any Ancient Coins. So I'm doing this one myself.

Coin Challenge

Wario, Waluigi, and Rosalina changed into swimsuits in the locker rooms provided for them. They were told this would be a wet challenge.

As their boat sped out to what looked to be an oil rig, Waluigi noticed that there was a level crane with three hooks dangling over the water. And Jeff Koopa was standing on the platform, waving.

"Well, hello!" Jeff Koopa exclaimed.

So Jeff was back from jury duty.

"So I'm back from jury duty, just in time for the first challenge.

"Gaze upon the mighty ocean. The tide is in… but not for long. Each of you is to grab onto one of these hooks and hold on for as long as you can… but there is a catch. Each minute you've been hanging, the tide will roll in. Each minute, the hooks will begin to sway… until all but one of you will fall off. Good luck. Winner gets ten Ancient Coins, second place gets five, and the loser gets one."

Wario: I've never been good at hanging on to anything but money. This won't leave me bloody and scarred, but it'll come pretty close.

As soon as all three were harnessed in, the countdown began.

One minute…

"Guys you've been at this for one minute, here comes the tide."

Waluigi: At first, I had absolutely no idea what Jeff was talking about. Then came the swaying. I could almost immediately feel the burn in my arms.

Two minutes…

Rosalina started making a very strange, distracting sound in the back of her throat.

Rosalina: This is nothing. I may not be the strongest in the world, but as a Star Queen, I pushed my endurance to the limit so many times throughout my life, I never get tired any more unless I'm doing something like manual labor. I was so confident I started playing a trick on the boys that I learned on another planet.

Wario: So I start hearing this noise, like a, *cooooooeeeeeeooooooeoooooo* and I have no idea where it's coming from. It started making it really hard to concentrate.

Three minutes…

"Three minutes, the tide's going to get much stronger."

The tide did. The crane was swaying so hard, Wario got flung off with a "Wha-sloop." He came up sputtering something about electric eels.

Wario: It was the sound that got me. I was trying to clean my ear when the big swaying started. I couldn't get my grip back.

Rosalina: I decided to pick up the intensity. I could have only hung there for a few minutes more, anyway, and I have no idea how Waluigi was doing.

Rosalina starts making a *EE EE EE EE EE EE* sound.

Waluigi: The first sound was okay. I mean, I could bear it. But then this really loud sound came up, like a computer error message magnified ten times that's endlessly repeating.

By this point, even Jeff was covering up his ears.

Waluigi: Finally, I just couldn't take it anymore.

Just after five minutes, Waluigi fell into the ocean with a large splash that made Rosalina think ouch.

The noise stopped.

"Well, well," Jeff half-yelled. Even Rosalina's hearing was partially gone as a result of her noise. "Rosalina, take this bag." Jeff handed Rosalina a burlap sack that contained ten coins. "I'll tell Wario and Waluigi that they'll find their bags at their camps. Go home and celebrate."

Outcast, Tuesday

Rosalina: Oh yeah, I won, oh yeah, I won, oh yeah, I won.

Rosalina passes the brush back into camp, holding her sack. She shakes it, and her tribemates cheer to the resulting noise.

Birdo: It feels tremendously good to win the first challenge. I feel like I can depend on Rosalina a lot more now.

Ed Sorenson: I think Rosalina would make a good leader. I spoke to the other tribe members, and they thought so, too.

"So, now that you're back we thought we would tell you…" Bro Mamma began, "That you've been chosen for tribe chief!"

Rosalina: It's not that I don't have experience being in power. I always like to say I rule wisely. And I'm certainly not going to turn down a nomination.

Rosalina got right to work. She set Ed to work improving the existing shelter, Bro Mamma tending to the fire, Birdo cooking light meals to be had every hour, and sent Yoshi to the clay pits to dig clay and shape it into bricks. Funky Kong was to entertain the tribe singing, dancing, and playing the guitar. Rosalina was to work setting the bricks out to dry in a safe spot.

Yoshi: I feel like our tribe is running smoothly. If we have this clay shelter up by the time we get our torch, we'll be safe and fortified, whereas the other teams will have crude shelters. But we'll have to remember to have enough Ancient Coins at the Auction to buy a lot of food, because we don't have anyone hunting, except maybe Birdo foraging some vegetables and showing them to Rosalina to make sure they're safe. At any rate, the Outcast tribe is at a distinct advantage.

Hero, Tuesday

"One coin?" Peach asked.

"You owe me." Bowser said to Mario.

Toad: We are in a predicament. Mario is mad at Wario for not finishing the challenge in first, Wario is mad at Bowser for betting he would lose, which he did, and Bowser is looking smug the whole time. I hope and pray we won't lose the Advantage challenge tomorrow, 'cause we will if it involves teamwork.

All of the tribemates looked at each other.

"Look," DK said. "We all make mistakes. Wario did his best. If we beat ourselves up because we lost a stupid Coin Challenge, we'll lose what's most important: the Advantage Challenge."

"I second that." Toad raised his hand. "We need to remain in high spirits. Remember: no one is allowed in the same Coin Challenge twice in a row. We'll do fine. Besides…" Toad lifted up what he had caught just before Wario came back. "Look what I caught!"

Toad was holding a string of nine fish he had caught. Everyone gasped. "Since I caught them, I get to decide who gets them. DK, Wario, and Bowser each get two. The rest of us get one. But first- has anyone got flint?"

Peach held up a bag of rocks she found. "Aren't these the rocks that matched your description?" Everyone gasped again. They were all flint.

Mario: You know, even though we lost the challenge, we'll be full of protein and warmth by the end of the day today. And I'm so looking forward to fried fish.

As Wario gutted the fish, Peach led a sing-along around Hero's new fire. Things were looking up.

Fire, Tuesday

"Five coins. Not too bad." Daisy commented, although she didn't look too happy.

Luigi: As long as I've know her, I still have yet to understand the limits of Daisy's want to win. Heck, she'd have held on to the hook so long she'd dislocate her arm!

Toadette made perfect rice.

"As far as rice goes, this is tasty, Toadette." Diddy Kong observed.

Toadette: See? I told you I could make good rice! If nothing else, keep me on for that!

Daisy: As far as I'm concerned, no one has the knowledge yet to invade another's camp. So we'd better win the challenge, or else. Luigi has proven himself to the tribe already, but I'm a little worried about Toadette.

After dinner, everyone went up to the Sunset Spot that Daisy had found, and named. It gave a perfect view of the sunset, and had a queer set of rocks that served as a table and stools. It was surrounded by trees and bushes, so there would be no wind. Facing the sunset was the waterfall that led to the fish-filled river. Daisy would've just been happy to sit and watch the sunset, but Luigi, Diddy Kong, Bowser Jr, and Waluigi were playing the Sorry game Luigi had brought as his luxury item.

"Check and mate." Waluigi said as he slid his last pawn into home.

Waluigi: I think playing Sorry was a good chance to connect with my tribemates. It helped us make merry and just enjoy ourselves. I think that we'll be in good shape for the Advantage Challenge.

Advantage Challenge

It was a bright Wednesday morning when the three teams met on the beach of their deserted island. Jeff was standing on a platform where three rocks were held suspended by ropes.

"Hello," Jeff said, "and welcome. Welcome, I might add, to the Reverse Piñata challenge.

"In this challenge, you each have a stick, each of them two inches in diameter. You must break the stick on the rock by hitting the rock hard. There are six sticks for each team, one for each tribe member. Everyone must take at least three swings with a stick, total, but then your strongest member can finish the rest of the sticks off for you. The prize for this challenge is a stew.

"This stew will be delivered to the winner at sundown. It is jammed-packed with nutrients, and is made by our finest chefs. It will keep for a day, two days if it's boiled every hour, but after that you must dispose of it. And don't blow this opportunity off, I'm sure some of you are already sick of rice. The loser will have to go to tribal council. Good luck to you all."

DK, Funky Kong and Bowser Jr. were up first.

Toadette: I feel we have a distinct disadvantage in this challenge. We don't have any strong members like DK or Funky Kong, and we didn't get much protein over the last few days. I heard Mario comment to me that they had stone-fried fish that Toad caught, which makes me extra worried. But my stress won't get us anywhere, so I'm giving it my all.

GO!

DK swung with all of his might, and broke his stick on his first try.

"Remember," Jeff chanted, "Each person has to swing at least three times, or the team will be disqualified."

Peach: I did a little jump for joy after I realized what happened. We've got this in the bag!

Funky Kong swung three times and managed to crack his stick. Bowser Jr. swung twice, enough to put a crack in his, then swung really hard and broke the stick.

Bowser Jr: I told everybody just after Jeff stopped talking that all we had to do was damage the stick in the first two swings, then bring it home at the end.

Next up was Bower, Rosalina and Diddy Kong.

Bowser made the mistake of breaking his stick on the second swing. Rosalina broke the stick on her third try, and so did Diddy.

DK: So, after the second round, we're at a disadvantage because we did too much! What's up with that?

The third round comprised Toad, Toadette, and Bro Mamma. Bro Mamma broke her stick on the third try, but Toad and Toadette didn't put a dent in theirs.

Toad: So I didn't break my stick. The way I look at it, if I did, we would've been sent behind even further!

Jeff announced the scores. "It only counts if the player has swung three times. Team Hero: Zilch. Team Fire: Two. Team Outcast: One."

Next there was Wario, Waluigi, and Ed. Wario broke his on his third try, and so did Waluigi, but Ed only managed to put a crack in his.

Daisy: We were ahead by, like, a lot. Turns out the weakest team had the strongest strategy. I'll thank Bowser Jr. if we win.

After that there were Mario, Daisy, and Yoshi. They all did perfectly.

Diddy Kong: I'll have to admit, if DK and Bowser hadn't messed up their team at the start, we would've been creamed. I could almost taste the stew.

The sixth round comprised Peach, Luigi, and Birdo. Peach managed to put a crack in her stick, but it didn't break. Birdo and Luigi broke theirs on the third try.

"So," Jeff said, "after the sixth round, Team Hero has two, Team Fire has five, and team Outcast has three."

Rosalina: At this point, I'm hoping for second place. I neglected to form a strategy, and I'm paying dearly for it.

Round seven's contestant's were DK, Bowser Jr, and Funky Kong.

DK threw the first swing, but smashed the stick on the second try. Funky Kong smashed his cracked stick on the first try.

Bowser Jr. threw the first two swings.

Bowser Jr: I wanted to be dramatic, y'know? We were ahead by two points. Might as well go out with a bang.

Bowser Jr. Smashed the stick so hard into the rock that not only did the stick break, a large fragment of the rock fell off and shattered.

Bro Mamma: All of a sudden, this huge chunk of rock comes off and shatters on the ground. It kind of symbolized our hope of winning.

Bowser: After that, everybody was scrambling to break their sticks.

While the Fire tribe cheered and lifted Bowser Jr. onto their backs, Bowser and Rosalina stepped up to the plate.

Rosalina: If we lose a single point, we're dead. I don't want to send anybody home, mostly because everybody blames the leader, and I was recently put in that position.

Bowser Broke the stick on his first try. Rosalina swung with all her might. Her stick cracked, big-time, which made it easy for her to break it on her second try.

It all came down to Toad and Bro Mamma.

Yoshi: I have total faith in Bro Mamma. She's much more physically fit than Toad, so I had a good feeling she would come through.

Toad: I knew it was over even before I swung. But I might as well have broken it, just to make the score close.

Toad broke his stick on his third try. Bro Mamma broke hers on her first try.

"Congrats to the Fire and Outcast teams! You are both safe from elimination, until the next tribal council Wednesday. Fire, you will find a nice, warm stew in your cauldron to help you recuperate." Jeff looked at the Hero tribe. "Hero, I will see you at tribal council tonight."

Fire, Wednesday

Daisy: We were cheering so hard that it became hard to talk. We were all very happy with ourselves, and we held a toast to Bowser Jr.

Daisy raised her bowl of stew. "Here's to the best strategist on the team, and the reason we're enjoying this meal: Bowser Jr!" Daisy drank from her bowl, and broth ran down her cheeks.

"To Bowser Jr." Everyone repeated.

Bowser Jr: My face was completely red. I'd never known what it was like to be liked… It feels… good. *Tears up.*

The stew was delicious, so much so that everybody volunteered to take shifts to make sure it was boiled and safe to eat tomorrow.

Waluigi: We are so high in spirits. I guess that's what the stew does. I'm so happy, I feel like I'm going to cry…

Diddy Kong: This was the best thing that ever happened to this team. I have a feeling that it's going to keep happening.

When the moon shone high above the horizon, the Fire tribe called it quits. But not without Luigi giving a speech.

"We will look upon this day and laugh. We won't laugh for the same reasons. As of tonight, it only gets harder. So what do we do? We try harder. We work harder. We add intensity to all that we do. Because I can guarantee you, the Royal survivor will be one of us!"

Hero, Tribal Council

Jeff met the Hero tribe on the dark side of the island. He handed each member a torch. "Fire represents life. If your torch goes out, so do you.

"Each of you will write a name down on a peace of paper, the name of the person you want most to go home. This person does not have to be the weakest. Keep in mind, throughout the game, that there can only be one Royal Survivor."

He directed each of the survivors to a school-type desk and chair, both made out of bamboo. He handed them each a slip of paper and a pen. Jeff sat down at a much bigger desk that was facing all of the others and patiently waited. A small fire separated Jeff from the survivors.

Wario wrote down Toad's name.

Wario: Sorry, buddy, but you utterly sucked in the Advantage Challenge. You're of no use to us.

Toad wrote down Peach's name.

Toad: You can't live like a princess out here. You can do the work, but I think you're not suited to this lifestyle.

Peach wrote down Toad's name.

Peach: I love you dearly, but you can't do the work like everyone else can.

Jeff collected all of the slips of paper. He read each of them aloud.

"Toad." Toad looked nervous.

"Peach." Peach looked stunned and indignant that anyone would write her name down.

"Toad." Toad looked slightly more nervous now.

"Wario." Wario looked up from picking his nose.

"Peach." Peach was grasping the sides of her desk like she was on a rollercoaster.

"And the first person to leave Royal Survivor is…

"Toad. You will depart immediately. Will you leave your luxury item with your tribemates who betrayed you?" Jeff asked as he snuffed Toad's torch.

"As much as I despise you all for voting me off, I won't allow you to be bored. You can keep the chess set." Toad said in disgust.

Toad walked somberly out of the Tribal council.

Toad: Y'know, I would've liked to win the million coin prize, but I was starting to miss the busier life of the Mushroom Kingdom real estate agency. Screw the Hero tribe. I'm rooting for Toadette all the way!

Next on Royal Survivor…

Depression sets in on the Hero tribe.

Bowser: Saying we were in low spirits is an understatement.

Mario: If I was grading work effort, we'd probably get a D.

The Outcast tribe gets a little ahead on its project.

"High-fives all around, and the rest of the day off." Rosalina stated. "What was to be finished two days after today was completed."

DK: I am seriously, hopelessly worried. How do we beat 'em now?

And a reconnaissance mission goes horribly, horribly wrong.

"I might've seen some things…" Funky Kong said sheepishly.

Rosalina slapped her forehead. "Mother of _"

Daisy: He violated my privacy, desecrated my only relaxation spot, and scarred me emotionally for life. I won't stop until I see blood. His blood.

Who will be the next Royal Survivor?